Grateful Friday

A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.

Carl Sandburg

When Braeden read on my blog that Enoch was coming to stay, he texted to request a dinner together.  (This is what comes of first teaching your children to read and then writing a blog.  They know about your plans and they want in.)

As the day progressed, I heard the happy news that Jennifer and Boston were coming too.  Boston is my newest little nephew I had yet to meet!  Happy day!

Except it got better because sweet Savannah was coming too.

They were nice enough to meet us in Provo so the busy college kids wouldn't have to drive anywhere far for dinner.  We enjoyed the evening together and before Braeden and Emma hurried off, I snapped this picture:

so much cuteness in one small picture

Back at our house, I ruined Enoch's night by mentioning I wanted to paint my kitchen cabinets.  I like painted wood and Enoch doesn't.  I think it has to be like a Mariners/Red Sox thing.  I think we will just have to agree to disagree.

Enoch fully applauded my idea to replace carpet with wood floor but I did make sure I let him know that I was going to cover the wood with an enormous rug.

Sometimes when you know what will bug your little brother, it's hard to resist saying it.

I did enjoy chatting with them though--hearing about the adventures of their kids and life with a newborn.  They're quality people, all of them and I'm just grateful to be related.

I sat in a chair the next morning and held Boston until he went to sleep while they ate and got their things gathered together.  I told Jennifer I would gladly just sit in that chair all day and hold him and she said, "Good, then I'll go get back in that bed."

Mothering a newborn doesn't exactly mean a good night's sleep.

They headed on their way all too soon and I headed on my way, off to school.

It was a happy few hours to spend together.

Enoch is driving the U-haul for Tabor and Katie and their menagerie as they move to Oklahoma.  In addition to their three darling girls, they are taking 5 horses, a dog, and a cat.

Maybe another thing I'm grateful about is that I'm not moving.

It is not for the faint of heart.

School pictures

I had Adam and Mark step into my closet and peruse my shirts and see what I should wear to school the next day.  It was school picture day and this picture would be on my lanyard that I will have to wear all year.  They really could care less what I wore but they gamely picked a shirt.

We all knew that my un-photogenic self would feel self-conscious about the pictures and therefore look self-conscious bordering on scared.

Sigh.

Before school, Mark posed me how they would pose me--shoulders to the side, head facing forward, slightly tilted.

We took a few "practice" school pictures:

my sweatshirt I've had since college--it's my early morning uniform

After seeing how well those turned out, I felt nothing but confident.

Once I got to school I realized things were a little different.

I saw a second grader with bright red lipstick (also high heels).  A lot of little girls had carefully curled hair and big bows on top of their heads.  A lot of little boys had on button up shirts with collars...and basketball shorts.  Evidence of negotiations and compromise.

As I waited in line in the gym next to the other teacher aids, we lamented about how much we hated school pictures, then and now.

I chatted in line with a second grader who was standing in front of me.  She told me that her grandma hangs her school pictures on her wall.

Not to put too much pressure on her, but my school pictures from 2nd grade are still on my grandma's wall.

Those school pictures, standing in a gym in front of a backdrop, have way too much staying power.

(This school picture is not ending up on anyone's wall.)

An up and down sort of day

In the kind of brief time I was home yesterday, I told Alexa to play me songs by Mozart because it was that sort of day and I needed some soothing tones.

During my lunch break, I tested the theory of whether or not I could make it home and back to school in 30 minutes because I forgot my lunch (it was a failed experiment).  Mostly because I made the rookie mistake of turning on 200 South and going by the high school.  At lunchtime.  Am I insane?!?

I heard some very good news.

I said good-bye to Tabor and family (they're moving to Oklahoma!).  We're already hatching a plan to go visit them.

I met up with his family and Ammon's family and Ammon recognized who I was talking about in yesterday's blog about my (ethnically confused) curly hair.

I did something that felt sort of brave.  I feel a little freaked out and a little excited.

I talked to Enoch on the phone and he is coming to stay tonight.  At first I thought Jennifer and new baby Boston who I have yet to meet were coming too.  When I realized that wasn't plan, that it was just Enoch, I told Enoch that Boston was who I really wanted to see and I was just tolerating him, he told me too bad because I had already agreed and couldn't back out now.

And I'm not sorry.  I'm looking forward to seeing Enoch.

One of my favorite parts of the day was maybe when I was about asleep and I heard a small voice, "Mom?  Mom?"  It was Emma.  She said, "Dad said you had just gone to bed."

She was in the neighborhood visiting Fiona and stopped by.  She stood next to the bed and even though I couldn't see her in the dark, we talked.  I told her about my day and she told me about hers and I told her about a time in the day that I wished I had acted differently and she said, "I would have acted the exact same way."

Even though I still wish I was different, it's nice to feel understood by my sweet girl.

Daughters (and brothers) were a good invention.

When people are delightful

Here's a recent conversation I had with a man.

"You got your haircut!"

"No...."

"Oh, I guess you curled it."

"No, I don't curl it.  It's just like this."

"Really?"

"Yep."

(sounding confused) "Where did you get curly hair from?"

"My dad has curly hair."

"But...where is that from?  Like South America or something?  You're pretty white..."

**

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Emma loaned Freja $45 because her debit card wasn't working and Freja paid Emma back in cash.  Emma was lamenting to me earlier that she put the money in her pocket and went to the store and then the money was gone.  Rats.  Lost cash is just lost, you know?

Except when you are a BYU student.

Someone found it and put it on her ward's Facebook page and Emma never checks Facebook but her roommate told her and Emma's $45 in cash was returned to her.

I love people.

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Of course I have a school anecdote to round out these tales.  There's a kid who I told Adam was straight up a Herdman (as in from the Best Christmas Pageant Ever).  He's just mean.  Every time I turn around he's being mischievous and naughty.  At recess one day a kid fell down and the Herdman kicked the fallen child's ball far away.  Just because he could.  Also, one day in class I was picking up paper scraps and recycling them and he said, "I hate recycling."

Who hates recycling?  I mean, why?

One of his classmates got legitimately hurt at recess though.  This boy has a lot of struggles, health and otherwise and the Herdman?  The one I thought was so mean?  He was one of the first boys to come running.  He was concerned and helpful and compassionate.

There's a lot to be happy about in this world.  Even people with the worldview:  curly hair stems from South America (?) and white people don't have curly hair are sort of lovely in their way.

My three boys

Last summer Marianne and Robert gave us a gift certificate for the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City to thank Adam for helping with their relay.  We finally put it to very good use.

Friday Adam and Mark and I drove to Cedar City.  I was exhausted and couldn't follow the podcast we were listening to.  Were they speaking English?  Adam was following it just fine so I think it was just me.

Since I was too tired for a podcast, I thought the play would be a struggle to stay awake but it is hard to be sleepy when you are laughing that hard.  We saw The Foreigner.  Adam and I had seen it years before at the Village Theater in Everett and we had loved it.  We told Mark all about how great it was and then I worried that maybe we'd oversold it, but he laughed just as much as we did.

We stopped by the grocery store on the way back to our hotel for hot chocolate k-cups, because there was a Keurig machine in our hotel.  They are fun to use and we wouldn't use it nearly enough, since we're not coffee drinkers, but we still sort of want one.

Saturday morning Adam and Mark swam in the hotel pool and I read my book.  (A winning combination.)  After that, we walked around the SUU campus some.  It's a pretty place but we wondered where all the students were.  They sleep late?  There just aren't that many of them?  I don't know.

At lunch I had to take the french fries away because Adam and Mark were starting to catapult them at each other using a long spoon.  I also stopped them wrestling in the hotel room.  Sometimes I feel like I have two sons with me when those two are together.

(Adam said he wouldn't really do any of that stuff, he just likes to get a reaction out of me. Hm.)

**

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In our absence Braeden, who is having the busiest period of his life, came for the weekend and did homework. He is working this semester and taking a full course load and volunteering for a political campaign and facilitating a Better Angels event.  It makes me tired just typing it all out.

After dinner we went grocery shopping and Mark, happy to have his brother back, talked non-stop.  They laughed about memes we didn't know and vines we didn't exactly understand (and I'm OK with that) and they also like to speak in Star Wars prequel quotes.

Sometimes it's a lot to listen to.  At the grocery store, when I couldn't think straight because of their banter in my ears, I said, "Stop, just stop."  They took a few giant steps away from me (because that's the only way they step) and carried on.

**

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Adam and Mark left earlier than we did for church on Sunday and before I even mentioned that I was feeling insecure about the dress I was wearing, Braeden said, "Mom, you look really pretty."

"Really," I asked.  "Because I feel like the circus is in town and I am the Big Top."

Braeden said, "That's the style right now, Mom.  Ever since my mission, dresses don't have a waistline, they just go shwoop."

So I shwooped off to church.

These boys--how I love them.  I feel like I'm in a constant battle to make sure they're staying civilized but really they are pretty gentlemanly (even giving me fashion advice).

For one thing, with those three around, I never carry anything heavy.  They wouldn't stand for it.

Grateful Friday

Yesterday two kindergartners were arguing at recess about whether or not fall and Halloween were the same thing.  They asked me to intervene.  (Braeden said I'm the Christopher Robin of recess.)

I tried to explain that fall was a season, spanning several months and that Halloween was one day in fall.  They both thought that validated why they were right and with all the righteous indignation two children under three feet tall can muster, they argued.  And argued.  I went to the other side of the playground.

Christopher Robin was tired.

Somedays I go home from school rejuvenated and in love with my job and sometimes I go home depleted.  Yesterday = depleted.

The struggles some of my students have worry me and break my heart a little and also push my patience to the brink.  Sometimes I want to bring them home and give them cookies and ice cream and sometimes I want to bring them home and put them in time out.

It's hard because the more I get to know them, the more they matter to me and the more I care.  The more I care, the more capacity I have for frustration.

Sigh.

I felt further disheartened when I learned that Adam's flight was going to be delayed and he'd be home a few hours later than scheduled.

I did what any smart girl would do and I texted our kids and asked them if they wanted to have dinner together.

Emma clarified, asking if I meant meet somewhere or if I was cooking.

Ha!

I was NOT cooking.

We met at Noodles and Company in Provo.  Braeden wrapped his arms around me and said that seeing me was just what he needed because he was having a hard day.  I said, "No, I'm having a hard day."

Emma assured me that she was happy and would bolster me.

Braeden smiled his charming smile and said, "We can cheer each other up."

And we did.

(Although now that I think about it, I did way more venting than anyone else.)

I told them about the ups and downs of my day.  They laughed or murmured supportively in all the right places.  Braeden put his arm around me when I teared up (and that wasn't even a bad part of the day--it was when I was telling them how nice some kids were to their classmate who was hurt and having a really terrible time).

I thought that what I needed was those three and sure enough, what I needed was those three.  I felt lighter after dinner and ready to go back and try again.

Money can't buy you happiness but it can take your kids to dinner and that is kind of the same thing.

leaning against the car and chatting in the parking lot before parting ways...also Emma and I dug in our purses for quarters so Braeden could do his laundry

There's no I in team

Yesterday at 3rd-4th grade recess, a boy ran up to me and said his frisbee was stuck in a tree.  I had no idea how we were going to get a frisbee out of a tree but I was the authority (the one with the whistle around her neck--a Fox 40 no less) so I had to try.  From the other side of the playground, a girl ran up and fell in step with me.  The 3rd grade equivalent of an ambulance chaser.

I contemplated the frisbee, surrounded by about 20 students.  "We need something to throw up there,"  I decided.

A little girl ran toward a pile of big rocks near the fence. "How about a rock?" she asked.

"No, no," I said.

"How about a water bottle?" another girl wondered.

"That may work," I said.  She showed me her water bottle.  It was empty and completely flattened.  She was just carrying it around.  Like you do?

"No," I said, "it's not heavy enough."

There were three boys nearby playing basketball.  I went over and asked them if we could use their ball.  They agreed and followed me over to the tree.  A few of the kids haphazardly threw the ball up, getting nowhere near the frisbee.  "Let's let a basketball player try," I suggested.

It was a good move.  I mean, if you got athletic kids around, you might as well utilize them.  A boy hit the frisbee and it fell to a lower limb.  Another boy hit the frisbee and it fell to a still lower limb.  It was still out of reach.  One of the boys, the biggest 4th grader and also one of the basketball players, tried to jump up and reach it but to no avail.

I eyed the students and picked the smallest girl.  "Come here," I said.  I lifted her up as high as I could and she batted at the frisbee and it fell to the ground.

There was much rejoicing.

He's certainly in the top three favorite children

Braeden delighted me yesterday.  He is working now and I am working now and that means we talk to each other less.

I do love getting his texts though.

Yesterday morning this arrived:

That's Ben, Braeden's roommate who is in the ROTC.  I'm glad that Ben is making the world safe for...Star Wars shirts.

After reading my blog yesterday, Braeden sent this:

I didn't even know you could have Great Value knock offs of hearts, but I'm glad I have the real thing.

Adam texted us some pictures and he had dinner with a group of Virginia Beach folks.

He sent this:

I was putting school work in a binder and giggling to myself because I pictured Sister Tallman thinking that a year + of college had certainly aged Braeden.  Why, he looks like he's in his forties all of the sudden.

Also, Braeden's response made me laugh.  He had no words.  And I can't really blame him.

**

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Braeden called me last night on his way home from campus.  He walks so fast and takes such long steps it is much easier to keep up with him on the phone.  He cheerfully told me that he had just read 50 pages about Martin Luther/by Martin Luther--I can't remember.  And he said he had 86 more to go.

I said, "You make me happy that I'm not in college."

He said, "But it's so great!"

He loves all that he is learning and I love that.

Adam called and Braeden said, "Can the three of us talk together?  Is that a thing?"

"I'll ask Dad."

I clicked over to Adam and asked him if the three of us could talk and he 1) said it was a thing and 2) told me how to do it.

So then Adam and Braeden and I talked and I loved the excitement in Braeden's voice as he quizzed Adam about all he had seen and done in Virginia.

We talked a little about Stella and Braeden said, "What did we do to deserve Stella?"

I don't know, but I'm glad it happened.

Today's the day everyone is jealous of Adam

He is going on a business trip to North Carolina.  Raleigh.  Apparently it's still on despite Florence.

Everyone is jealous because he's making a detour and flying in to Norfolk, VA then driving to Raleigh.  He's going to see Stella and the whole Hampton Roads area where a big piece of Braeden's heart resides (he said he left his heart there, I maintain it's only some of his heart because I claim some of his heart for my own).  I would love to see that part of the world and fully plan to someday.

Mostly, I'd love to see Stella.  I love that lady!

Up and downs of the weekend

Friday was a bit of a rough one.  I felt off kilter as well as not great about the smoke.  My head ached and my throat burned but so did everyone else's at my school.  We had indoor recess and in one hallway of the school where there are windows on both sides and sunlight streaming in, you could see the smoke in the air.

At one point I thought, I wish the wind would blow and this smoke would go away!  Then, like I had access to a genie and my wishes really would come true, I felt immediately guilty.  I thought of the firefighters in harm's way and the houses within reach of the fire and how wind would make everything worse.  Never mind!  I don't want the wind to blow!

Saturday was still a smoky mess and my throat still hurt.  We met Emma at the Hale Theater for a matinee performance of Daddy Longlegs.  It was so good!  I love the Hale Theater!  And I love that sweet Emma for getting us good tickets every time.  Vanessa and her mom Nyla were seated in front of and slightly over from us.  We chatted a little with them before the show and then after we all went to lunch together.

It was the lingering delightful kind of lunch where you talk for hours.  It is never a surprise to me when I like the mothers of my children's friends.  It just makes sense.  Nyla is a kindred spirit.  She teaches 2nd grade and we like a lot of the same things, including our creative and brilliant, musical, French speaking daughters.  (Vanessa was one of the girls I was in charge of who interpreted for me in France.) Vanessa is preparing for a mission in Armenia and she showed us on a map where Armenia is exactly.  I had a vague idea but wasn't sure.

Later that afternoon, I started feeling really lousy.  I had zero energy and fell asleep on the couch.  Adam and Mark went to the store and I went upstairs and slept some more.

I started thinking that my sore throat was not just smoke related.

Sunday morning after ward council, Adam took me to the doctor.  He was there in a suit and I was there in yoga pants and I felt a little underdressed.  My rapid strep test came back negative, which didn't surprise me.  More often than not, my rapid strep test comes back negative and then the culture, a few days later, comes back positive.  I recognize strep throat.  Adam said I'm a strep whisperer.

I think it's more of a wimperer.

The doctor said he was going to give me antibiotics anyway and Braeden said, "Did you tell him that he's part of the problem?"

I said, "No.  I told him thank you."

(I still think I may have strep.)

So I texted the BYU kids to let them know that they were still welcome to come, I just wanted them to have the information.  Liberty had another commitment anyway and Leif and Freja opted to stay home (smart kids) and Braeden and Emma came.

Adam and the kids cooked dinner and I stopped Braeden from using a cup on the counter that I had used but otherwise I think I effectively kept my germs to myself.

We watched the first episode of the new (to us) Great British Baking Show and Braeden has already invented a love triangle between Paul Hollywood, the new judge and one of the contestants.

It is less smoky today and the missionaries in Braeden's mission that were evacuated from Hurricane Florence are fine and a missionary I know in the Philippines who survived that terrible typhoon is fine and Desi, my sweet missionary in Hong Kong where the typhoon made its next stop is fine too.

These words that my dad said recently keep repeating in my head.  God is in His heaven. I am so grateful.

Grateful Friday

Today is smoky.  There's a fire in south Utah County/Juab County that is growing and warm dry wind blowing.  People have been evacuated and then there's Hurricane Florence.

Braeden's mission is the path of the hurricane and missionaries have been evacuated.

My heart goes out to all of them.

Being grateful that I'm not in their shoes feels a little selfish but I am grateful.

I'm grateful that my troubles are small.  For example sleep.  It is illusive sometimes and I have gone through this week a little like a zombie.  But feeling tired?  I'll take it over losing my home.

Last night was book club and I was tired but I still wanted to go.  I'd missed the last two book club meetings because I had been out of town.  Also, I'd read the book and wanted to talk about it.

When I arrived, people greeted me.  They told me they'd missed me.  I took my chair and didn't say too much because there are some people at book club that are talkers and some that are listeners and I'm in the latter camp mostly.  I enjoyed being there.  I love hearing insights and personal experiences and feeling like we're all in this together.

Before I left I chatted a little with a book club friend and she told me she'd missed me too.

I told Adam later how nice it felt to belong to a group.  Human connectedness is where it is at.

This morning on Facebook, I saw people posting information and help for fire evacuees.

Human connections.

The doppelgänger

There is a boy at my school that is Mark's doppelgänger.  The kid even wears track pants which used to be Mark's uniform of choice.  He doesn't look so much like Mark as he just is Mark at that age.  I knew it from the first day he fished legos out of his pocket and showed me something he'd built.

I have been working with him and it hasn't been going well.  He had zero motivation to do anything and I had zero leverage (the woes of being the teacher's aide).  Like Mark, he is very stubborn.  Unlike Mark, I couldn't say, "OK, then, no computer" or  "OK, then, you can't play with Gavin."  Because playing with Gavin was king.

The student was interested in fiddling with my watch so I told him that if he wrote his name on his paper (a big first step!) he could figure out how to unlatch my watch.

He said, scornfully, "I don't need to figure it out.  I know how."

He quickly wrote his name and I let him play with my watch.  Then I wanted him to do more work and I didn't have another watch.

So that evening, I asked Mark for advice.  I explained the whole situation and wondered what Mark thought about some little puzzles or trinkets that the student could lay his little mechanically minded hands on for a reward.  Mark listened stoically and then said, "Just get Skittles, Mom."

Mark was brought up on Skittles.  They're a good bribe because I think they're nasty and am never tempted to eat my stash and they are tiny so easy to dispense.

I stopped at the store on the way to school and proudly showed the student my reward.  He looked at them mournfully and said, "I can't eat them.  I can't have artificial colors."

Rats.

It was a writing assignment and I was left with nothing again.  It was a personal narrative they were supposed to be writing and he didn't have any ideas or willingness to try.  I felt a little helpless.

Except for the fact that he is basically Mark.

I said, "How about Super Smash Brothers?  Why don't you write about that?"

His little eyes lit up and he said, "I was just thinking the same thing!"

He quizzed me all about what I loved about Super Smash Brothers and I had to admit I had never played.  I do however speak the language of Mark.

It comes in handy.

The mama

This is what momming meant yesterday.

Text from Emma:

Virtual high fives all around.

Text conversation with Braeden:

He came home and I fed him and he wrapped his long arms around me and tucked me under his chin and said, "You are the best mom in the world."

Text conversation with Mark:

I took him his music and waited while he had the world's longest audition.  He is not sure it went so well.  He is no dancer and they are doing a musical with lots of tap dancing.  I took him home tired + discouraged + hungry.

I made him an enormous roast beef, cheddar and arugula sandwich.

He kissed my forehead and said, "You are the best mom in the world."

I think my boys' hyperbole ramps up when they're fed but whether or not I'm the best mom in the world, I'm glad I'm the mom of Braeden, Emma and Mark.

That's the best.

Sunny September day

We are still getting smoke at times from the fires in California and the East coast is bracing for a hurricane and I cried my way through watching CNN 10 this morning.  It was all about another sunny September day 17 years ago.

One clear memory I have of that day is talking to my dad on the phone.  I told him I didn't know how I was going to raise my children (Braeden was 4 and Emma was 2) in such a dark and scary world.  He said he had felt the same way sometimes when I was little.

So the world can be a dark and scary place but what really makes me cry the most when I watch remembrances of September 11 are the heroes.

Just everyday heroes who started their sunny September day thinking it was going to just be a typical day and then everything turned on its head.

Thinking about the vast ways life can be turned on its head makes me grateful for the simple and mundane, silly and sweet things in my life today.

**

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I finally had a chance to catch up with Braeden on the phone.  I have been missing that kid.  He had a great trip to Colorado although he got food poisoning from either a sandwich he ate that had been sitting in the car for too long or some grocery store sushi he ate.  I feel sick just typing those things.  He's 21.  He'll learn.

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I know the barest minimum about the Kardashians but that didn't stop Emma and me from sending Kardashian jokes via text throughout yesterday.  They didn't 100% make sense to me (because I know the barest minimum about the Kardashians) but Emma is a funny wordsmith and her plays on words delight me.

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Mark is nicer to me than I deserve.  This is from yesterday afternoon:

I had a head-ache (again, still) and he sat on the couch and had me put my head on his lap while he rubbed my temples and told me that the temples are the thinnest part of the skull so that means our brains can feel it more when rubbed there.  I don't know if that made me feel better or not.

But Mark makes me feel better.

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Yesterday, since I wasn't at work, I did housework and laundry and read and it was nice to be home.  I did look at the clock a little wistfully at times and think about my students a few times though.  I like it at home and I like it at school.

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It was a beautiful evening and I took this picture off the deck.

I laid on the deck couch and took this picture of the sky.  It looked like a marble.

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After a short family home evening around the kitchen table, I went to take a bath and Adam and Mark went to mow the lawn.

The new lawn mower has headlights.  Adam texted this picture:

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This morning Adam and Mark and some of the stalwarts got up before the sun and put flags on the lawns of our neighborhood.  I drove Mark to school down streets of fluttering flags.

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Little bits of things have been floating in my head, unarticulated thoughts about Grace and the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my life.

I can't really explain (clearly) but it is real and I feel grateful for the things I know.

Even when the world feels dark and scary, there is always Light.

Mr. Mark

Mr. Mark is what Titi who cut Mark's hair in Washington used to call him.  Mark loved her and would climb into her chair and talk her ear off while she cut his red curls.

I think it was the last time he was happy about getting a haircut.

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Adam finally pulled the trigger on a new lawn mower that he and Mark had been eyeing for a few years.  Adam is not what you would call an impulse shopper.  Our old lawn mower is about as old as Mark and duct taped together and threatens to pull your arm off when you try to start it.

So you could say maybe it was time for a new one.

Mark was thrilled and when we got home Friday night with the purchase, he and Adam immediately took it out of the box and started mowing.

Saturday morning, Adam was out early, mowing some more (we have had peak lawn growing conditions around here).  I asked Mark why he wasn't out mowing the lawn and he said incredulously, "Dad's mowing!?!"  The new mower is electric and very quiet.  Mark hightailed it outside to take over.

Meanwhile Braeden and FOB showed up, needing a ride to Salt Lake City.  They had concocted a sort of crazy trip to Denver to be at a friend's mission farewell.  (The friend is a girl, which according to my mom explains everything.)  Emma needed Loki for work so they were renting a car.  Sam's car couldn't limp its way to Salt Lake so they stopped here and needed a ride.  Mark knew one of us was going to go, but we ended up both going and leaving him mowing.  Later I tried to call him but (surprise surprise) he didn't answer his phone.  We texted him and ran an errand in Salt Lake and were gone about 3 hours.

Mark was in the basement when we got home and came up sort of bewildered because he hadn't realized we were gone.  Never checking his phone, he'd mown then gone downstairs to shower and just assumed I was upstairs the whole time.

This is what comes of introverts, uniting.  Separately.

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When I took down the bookworms from our summer reading program (that didn't exactly achieve its purpose--Mark read five books in one week and that's it for the entire summer, I had clearly read more than anyone else.  Mark asked me what my reward was and I said, "A new car!"  (I said it in the exciting Price is Right way.)

**

*

The fact that we're car shopping may or may not have anything to do with Worm Joe, but since we were going to a car dealership, Mark decided to do our Saturday errands with us.  Usually it is just Adam and me because we can't even bribe Mark to come with us with the promise of buying him food.

With Mark aboard, gone was the freedom of saying what I wanted without some recrimination. At one point he said, "OK, Professor of Sweeping Statements...."

Before we went into the car wash, Mark said, "Remind me to tell you my business idea after this."  Mark's two great loves:  business ideas and cars.  Maybe he has three loves, because also food.  (Between every errand he wondered where/when we were going to get food.  The answer was we are eating at home until he wore us down and he got a sandwich at WinCo.)

After vacuuming and running the floor mats through the machine that is kind of fun when it comes down to it, we were again on the road and Mark said, "The danger of lightning can be avoided if you could be grounded at all times.  That's why I would like to introduce Thunderwear."

"How does it work?" I asked.

"Well," he said, "I just have the idea.  R&D is still working on the details.  Also, we are between banks right now, so if you'd like to invest, we'd welcome cash."

At the dealership, Mark knew more about the cars than the salesman (you have a website, right?).  The salesman wanted to talk about our monthly budget and whether or not we had a trade in and I wanted to talk about features.  For example:  heated steering wheel?  Shut up and take my money.  Our salesman went to get his "friend" who was the "Jeep expert" but he was really the higher pressure sales guy.

Here's what I realized though.  The older I get and the closer car salesmen get to Braeden's age, their pushy tactics aren't all that pushy (this is why we were so grateful to have Linn along when we bought our first few cars).  The salesman asked what it would take to get us in a car today and we both laughed a little and said, "This is our first day shopping."  His face fell and he probably walked into the dealership cursing all the old people that are impervious to his charms.

Mark was quiet and watchful at the dealership.  I think he was soaking up what he could learn about cars and business deals.

**

*

Music fits in somewhere in the list of things about Mark.  I think if he hadn't been distracted by car shopping he would have made us a playlist for the errands.  He loves a good playlist.  He told us about his history test.  He'd received extra credit points because during the test, the teacher was playing music and Mark recognized one song as being from The Truman Show and one as being from Interstellar.  He's the kid who sang before he talked and knows more 80s music than I do but won't sing in front of people if you ask him to.

Mr. Mark, complicated and curmudgeonly and very, very funny.

Errand day is more fun with him.

Connectedness

I love those connections that make this big old world feel like a little village.

Gina Bellman

Yesterday was kind of a banner day around here phone-wise.  I talked to Braeden and Emma on the phone.  Usually we subsist on text messages and it was nice to just talk.

Also, Marianne, Olivia and Enoch each called me (and Tabor called me a few days ago).  I don't talk to any of them nearly enough in all the busyness of everything but it was great to catch up, to feel loved.  They wanted to know how I was.  They asked about our kids and I asked about theirs.  Marianne made me cry by telling me a sweet story and then I cried even more because I told her about a student I purely love who I also worry about.  When I talked to my siblings, I feel understood.  I feel cared about.

**

*

Last night we had a Relief Society meeting.  I'm on the committee and I'm usually a little grudging.  Even though I truly enjoy being with the other women on the committee, I usually feel like it's one more thing I don't want to make time for.  But since I'm Coralee Dahl's daughter, I saddle up and go help anyway.  Last night our activity was a "Not So Young Girls' Camp."  We met in a backyard and had a fire.  I was kind of dreading it as it mostly fell into the category of out of my comfort zone.  The committee performed a skit and sang a silly song and then I led everyone in camp songs and we had s'mores.  (Fancy s'mores--and the s'mores weren't the part I was dreading.)

**

*

For our skit, Cortney pulled out marshmallows and said she wanted to roast them.  She said we needed sticks.  Terri was whittling and Cortney asked for her sticks.  Terri grudgingly gave them.  Then they decided they needed graham crackers.  Terri said, "Hey, Susan has crackers."  Susan didn't want to give them.  She said she was going to use them for a craft--making birdhouses out of them.  She finally gave them up though.  Next Susan said she'd spied some chocolate in my bag.  I admitted I had chocolate but I said it was my favorite kind and I was saving it for later.  But they finally convinced me.  S'mores are a gooey mess and we didn't have napkins so I asked Debbie for a page or two from her notebook to use as napkins.  She didn't want to share but finally did.  Then Michelle stepped in.  She said, "Oh no!  You have to use these!" and gave us each a cloth napkin.  She said she'd been saving them for a lesson on etiquette but would share them.

Our small sacrifices turned into s'mores for everyone.

**

*

At the end of the evening, some people streamed away back to their houses, but some people lingered.  We chatted in the darkening evening.  I had a few conversations that felt real.  Somehow it seems easier to share vulnerabilities when you've just had chocolate and are cozy in a pretty backyard.

It was time to clean up and the committee gathered things and helped take loads to each others' cars.  Michelle and I were laughing and loading her truck and she said, "I just love you, Thelma."

And I love her too.

We finished loading Susan's car and she turned and gave us each a hug.  Then we all hugged each other.  It just felt like that kind of a night.

**

*

As I was driving home, I was thinking about the evening.  I realized that the skit pretty much exactly reflected real life for me.  I hadn't really wanted to share.  After what felt like a busy week--a series of busy weeks--what I really wanted to do was stay home with Adam and Mark.  But I reluctantly went. I did what was asked.  And I was rewarded.  Just like in the skit, the small sacrifice I made in time and energy turned into something as warm and delicious as a s'more:  feeling connected.

Mark Dahl's daughter

Last week Mark had a particularly questionable mole removed.  (I got the biopsy results back and it was benign.  That is always welcome news.)

He needed a few stitches after the procedure and we were supposed to go back yesterday and get the stitches removed.

Well, I'm Mark Dahl's daughter.

My dad removed my stitches, and my siblings stitches, including but not limited to my wisdom teeth--and that's something.

It seemed ridiculous to take Mark back to the doctor's office and wait an interminable amount of time when I'm Mark Dahl's daughter.

So I grabbed scissors and a pair of tweezers and went to work.  I talked Mark through it in soothing tones like I knew exactly what I was doing, which I didn't.

But I'm Mark Dahl's daughter.

(by the way, it worked just fine)

Friends

We spent the first few years of life here feeling like we didn't have friends, not really.  But last summer the Porters moved in across the street and this summer the Misbachs moved in across the street and over one house.

Last night we hosted a neighborhood BBQ in our backyard for our street and the street perpendicular to our street.  We had over 30 people over (including Braeden and his five roommates).  Dave Porter called them all FOB (friends of Braeden).  It was just nice.  We visited and ate the delicious food everyone had brought to share.

People started leaving but the Porters and Misbachs stayed and I realized, hey, we have friends.  We kept talking even thought it was dark--we were on the patio below our deck and now realize we could use better lighting down there.  Before leaving, everyone stacked up chairs and cleared up garbage and everything was put to rights.  I walked across the street with some folding chairs we had borrowed from the Porters and we all chatted a little more in their driveway and then I made my way back across the street.  I was tired but happy.

Because it's good to have friends.

A last summer hoorah

Adam has had four tickets to a Salt Lake Bees and we haven't used them.  Sunday night he realized yesterday was their last game of the season.

We asked Mark if he wanted to go.

We asked Emma if she wanted to go.

We asked Braeden if he wanted to go.

They each had other things they'd rather do.

There were years--probably about 10 or 15 years--that Adam and I wished we had time for dates with just the two of us and now we can't get these monkeys to join us.  I guess that's how it goes, but I'm never going to complain about a day with Adam.

We scurried around doing chores because we're hosting a neighborhood party at our house tonight then Mark rode his bike to meet his friends and Adam and I headed to Salt Lake City.

It was hot and sunny but we found a shady place to sit.

Bees vs. Grizzlies--Adam called it a Honey War

Being at a baseball field is always a pretty place to be.

The Bees were ahead for most of the game and then it all sort of fell apart.

I texted a distress call to our kids and Braeden and Emma sent their best help.

That is only a tiny bit of Emma's text because she sent the entire Bee Movie script.  Yes, she did.

The game went into ten innings but the Grizzlies ended up winning.

After the game, we stopped by to see my grandma.  Seeing her always makes me feel so good.  She embodies unconditional love.  She was telling us a story and while I was listening, I thought, "I love her so much!"  I'm grateful she is in my life and I need to make more time to visit.

We came home to a driveway full of boys.  Braeden and roommates were here to shoot up on the mountain.  (Braeden refuses to kill spiders but when your roommates are into guns, you go shooting apparently.)  After their hike into the mountain they all came in and drank big glasses of cold water then we sat on the deck in the waning light.

It felt like a good way to end the summer.

Weekends

I appreciate the pace of weekends even more since I started working (although it is a holiday today and I was wide awake at 5:30 AM--that's not my favorite).

Anyway.

Friday is sort of a blur because I had a migraine.  I wish I knew what caused it so I could avoid that at all costs.  Mark was very kind and nurturing to me and I started to feel better in the evening.  We went to Emma's new apartment and set up the shelves that Adam bought her at IKEA.  He went a little overboard, including things she doesn't really need but he's a good daddy who loves his little girl.  Both kids seem happy in their new apartments and that is happy for me.

Saturday was a nice mix of productivity and a slower pace.  And a tiny bit of drama.  I made apple pies--using apples from our little tree.  I had the pies in the oven and was cleaning up.  The bowl that had had the peels in it slipped out of my hands and fell into the bowl that had had the apple slices in it.  It shattered into a million pieces--seriously, just shards.  I immediately started bleeding on three fingers.  I don't know if glass shards bounced up and cut me or what.  Mark flew to my rescue with bandaids and lots of conciliatory words.  He's a nice one to nurse his mother's ailments.  I was mostly really happy the pies were already in the oven.

Adam and I went back to IKEA that night for more stuff for Emma and Mark went to a swim party his school was having at the PG pool.  We stopped by on the way home to pick him up.  Imagine this scene.  It's dark and a huge pool is filled with teenagers and all the boys are approximately the same size and coloring of Mark.  It took me awhile to find that kid.  Since it was dark the red hair didn't even help.

Yesterday we had the BYU kids over.  Emma decided (after some deliberation via text with me) that she would stay in Provo and attend a ward function so she could get to know her ward/roommates.  Braeden, Liberty, Leif and Freja came.  It was so fun to have them.  I wanted to quiz them all about all the everything but Adam made me wait until he was done at the BBQ because he wanted to hear too.  We had dinner (and pie) and played Codenames.  It was girls and Adam against the boys.  There were a hilarious number of misassumptions about each other.  For example, when Freja gave clues about Hamlet and we were kind of adrift, Braeden said, "Freja, the drama kids are over here." There was also the time Braeden died a little inside when Leif and Mark missed his Cicero hint.

These two goofballs.  Emma said it pretty accurately:  Leif is Braeden if Braeden had been raised by Janet.

I know how lucky I am to have these people in my life.