Grateful Friday

 Any life that includes small children bringing you dandelions on a spring day is a good life.

Choosing

I'm trying to ignore things like my anxiety over end of year testing.  Ever since mid March, I'm back to being a first year teacher.  I feel intimidated by the binder of rules for proctoring a test.  I can't even follow recipes accurately.  You would never catch me reading the rules of a game.  Just someone tell me.

I hate reading directions.

Mostly though, I'm nervous about how my students will do.  I've been trying to review and for some of them, their retention is about 5 minutes.  If that.

Yikes.

Here are some things to think about instead of that.  I'll choose to think on good things instead.

I wore sandals to school yesterday.  Sandals!  My feet, admittedly, were a little cold for the first part of the day but they warmed up and I'm ready for sandal weather.  Down with socks.

Also birds were merrily singing as I walked across the parking lot to school and since I was early for school, I got some stuff done.

It felt lovely.

In my extra time before school, I was making copies on the new copy machine (Beyoncé).  I figured out how to not only do 2 sided copies, but 2 sided stapled copies.

Seriously.

It went straight to my head.

During writing time, they corrected sentences that needed capitalization and punctuation.  Then I had them write a list of what they wanted to do in the summer.

My tiniest student who is all sass with a little bit of spunk on top, wrote, "Stress eat."

It cracked me up, which is what she was going for.

How important are standardized tests anyway?

Naturally

Happiness is listening to Mark chat with Emma and Braeden and Owen while they all play Minecraft virtually together in the world that Mark created.  Mark having created a world feels like it's on brand for him. That one likes to build and he likes to be large and in charge.

It comes naturally to him.

There are a lot of parts of teaching that come naturally to me.  I am pretty good at organizing and planning.  I am a good explainer.  I have no problem finding good books to read or recommend.  I am great at tying shoes and applying bandaids. Loving them comes pretty easily too.  I have honed my mom voice which does a fine job of stopping recalcitrant students in their tracks.  

Here is what does NOT come naturally:  learning the dance for the dance festival so I can then teach them the dance for the dance festival.  There is a reason they have our boys dance in the back row when they are in musicals and they don't get it from Adam.  Now I'm teaching a dance?

How did I get here?!?

Yesterday

I smugly declared yesterday that I didn't have recess duty, but I'd forgotten that I had traffic duty.  In the rain.  

My students were very happy with the sub I had Friday.  It was my friend Misty and she left things in top shape so it was nice all around.

I read my students Chrysanthemum and they loved it.  There is no shortage of good books in the world.

I came home to a happy Emmark. (That's my name for the collective; I decided last night.)  They had both been productive and they were both going to work for the evening.  That suited me right down to the ground because I had been craving time with Adam.  In all our busyness I hadn't seen him enough.

We went to Home Depot and when we got home, he read to me.

I'm just happy to be with him.

Happy days

 It was a busy weekend.

Friday we celebrated our graduates.   I made cupcakes and Geri tied pirouette cookies with ribbons to look like diplomas.

It was small scale but we had a theme and we were running with it.

My parents and my grandma and the Carlsons came to celebrate with us.  

We watched the virtual convocation.  

Heather, my former laurel and Emma's roommate spoke because she was the valedictorian of the political science college (yay Heather!). 

They scrolled through pictures and names of graduates and neither Braeden nor Anna were listed!  

Braeden logged into his account to make sure he had graduated.

They graduated.  So they tossed their caps in the air.

We had a lovely time eating lunch and visiting.  We took a few pictures.

My sweet grandma will be 94 next month!  Every time I see her feels like a gift.

My parents don't look all that happy in this picture, but they were happy.  I think there were too many phones and it was hard to know who to smile for.

Here are the two grandmas who graduated from BYU 50 years ago this spring (both in accounting).

Anna went to Les Miserables with a former roommate so we babysat Braeden.  Anna said not to give him too much sugar.

It was nice to have Braeden with us but weird without Anna.  We watched part of the Mariners' game and then we all went out for pizza.  Braeden and Emma and Mark sat at one end of the table and were engrossed in their conversation, which I love.

Saturday was moving day for Emma.  Geri and I went early to help her pack.  Adam joined us and we filled two vans with her stuff.  (How and why?)  We left her with Heather to clean.  

Emma came later, exhausted but happy to be home.  We're happy to have her.  She still has a few classes this spring before she graduates but her apartment contract was up and we're glad she's back.

Sunday was a busy day of meetings and the like.  I played a few hands of Phase 10 with the group but then I stopped because I can only handle so much of a slow moving card game.

This morning it's back to real life on a rainy Monday.

But I don't have recess duty, so there are silver linings everywhere.

Grateful Friday

 Today I am taking a day off school and we are celebrating our graduates.  (Braeden and Anna--we'll celebrate Mark in a month and Emma later this summer.)

Last night we met up with the Carlsons and Braeden and Anna and had a photo shoot on BYU campus. We were the paparazzi and they were our willing subjects.

We found a cardboard cutout of a dean.

This is a room where Braeden and Anna took a lot of classes so they wanted it included.

My boys

Anna's brother Owen, getting some love

I'm proud of these kids and their hard work.  I'm grateful for their education and for their opportunities and that they have each other.

Watching them together makes me happy.

Whiplash

Not actual whiplash.

I tend to be dramatic.

Yesterday Kate came into my room at lunch time with a look on her face like she had some news to share. She had been offered a job as a reading specialist at our school (which will be amazing) and she said that Jami said I could decide if I wanted 3rd or 4th grade.

My mind started spinning.

My brain isn't that bendy.  I had been thinking about 4th grade and looking at the 4th grade curriculum and making fledgling 4th grade plans. I didn't know what I wanted to do.

She said that Jami would come and talk to me after school.

As the afternoon progressed, I realized that I felt really happy about the idea of staying in 3rd grade.  I know I love 3rd grade.  I also know that I've assembled a lot of 3rd grade materials.

So after school, I told Jami I wanted to stay in 3rd grade.

It was sort of short-lived happiness because then I went to my root canal appointment.

It was awful.

And also, it didn't work.  My tooth was bleeding so much that he couldn't finish it.  What you really don't want to hear your dentist say when you are having a root canal is, "I'm at a loss.  I don't know what to do."

He patched me up with a temporary filling and said he'd try again next week and I might lose the tooth.

So I think I'm going to go to an endodontist which I probably should have done in the first place.

Whatever happens, tooth pain doesn't last forever and I get to teach 3rd grade next year.

So all in all, the day ended up in the positive column.

Aquarium

We had a good time.  It was a lot--a lot of noise mostly--but survivable.  The kids were SO excited to be going on a field trip.  They said, over and over, "We haven't been on a field trip since FIRST GRADE."  

It's been awhile.  

We were lined up in the hall, ready to board the bus and an administrator walked by.  She said, "I'm so happy you're going on a field trip!  It feels like life is going back to normal!"

We got all the lunches sorted and I assured kids that I would not be carrying their water bottle or jacket so if they didn't want to carry it, they should leave it in the classroom.  

They chanted "field trip field trip" on the bus but we had a really great bus driver who got on the microphone and started entertaining them.

All the kids had name tags and we divided them amongst the chaperones, five in a group.

This was my crew.  They did a good job of staying together and they loved everything they saw.

Our principal, because he's awesome like that, showed up at the aquarium.  It was a celebrity sighting for the students. I took pictures of Mr. Dawson with my group and another group of my students who we'd come across.

He walked around while we were eating our sack lunches on the grass and told the students that he'd been up early that morning packing the lunches.

Watching coins spin down these circles was every bit as fascinating as the fish, even for the student teachers.  I eventually ran out of nickels though and I wouldn't let them use my quarters.

I'm not a Rockefeller.

I loved it like I love every day I get to be a teacher.  There's joy in being around children, that is all.

It's go time

 We're taking around seventy 3rd graders on a bus to the aquarium today.  

May the odds be forever in our favor.

Not so bad

I can't be something I'm not so I overreact and freak out but eventually settle down.

Being me can be exhausting.

Being a mother can be exhausting.

The other day I told Braeden, "Don't ever become a mother.  It's hard."

He said, "OK.  I promise I won't."

Saturday, Braeden wondered if he could show his zoom presentation to us that he had prepared for a political science conference in Chicago that he would have presented at in person if not for Covid.

I pulled Adam away from repairing the washing machine (Adam has turned into a repairman sensation and I feel like I'm the weak link in this marriage) and we watched Braeden.  The presentation was about the link between populism and polarization.  

Adam told him actual helpful things and asked good questions.  I told him he was handsome and smart.  I'm his mother so I'll always think that.

Braces and I'm looking a little ill in the oh so flattering light of Small World.  Doesn't matter.  I had my boy close by.

We celebrated our girl Anna's birthday on Sunday.  Her parents are visiting from Virginia so we all met at Kiwanis Park in Provo for cake and ice cream.

Mark and Owen valiantly tried to light the candles in the breeze.

Isn't she the cutest?

They both are.

It's not so bad to be a mother.

Grateful Friday

I am a broken record on this one but I'm grateful for Adam.  

Here's a recent text conversation:

I meant reassembled, but you get the idea.  He puts me back together.  Regularly.

Another recurrent theme:  I'm grateful to be a teacher.  I really like it and I'm also really happy as we're planning the end of year stuff.  I like having a job that isn't so intense all year long.  I'll be there a lot during the summer but on my own terms and wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

The BYU semester is winding down and I'm forever grateful that our two oldest were able to attend BYU. It is a great place.  I'm grateful for their education and opportunities they've had. I'm grateful Braeden found Anna.

Speaking of Anna, Sunday is her birthday.  I love that girl.  I'm glad she's part of our family.  I'm glad her parents will be visiting and we're all going to celebrate her birthday together.  (We really like her family too, which feels like such a bonus!)

I'm grateful for the spring blossoms and bright leaves on some of the trees and promise of more on the bare branches.

I'm grateful that when it was snowing yesterday, we had inside recess.  (Guess who had recess duty?)

Finally, I'm grateful I slept better last night than I did all week.  Sleep has been elusive to me lately which I sort of hate.  I appreciate it when I get it!  

I'm not crazy

 We're having some landscaping done (perfect timing too because we want to soften the view between us and the behemoth house about to be built next to us).

A few days ago, we met with the landscaper.  We walked around the yard and talked about what we wanted.

I was happy about it all.  Yes, yes and yes.  Rip it out, replace it, improve it.

Until we got to the front yard.

I have an ever growing mound of volunteer marigolds.  It gets bigger every year to my utter delight.  I love marigolds.  I love that they come back every year all on their own.

I said, "Don't do anything in this flower bed."

"Not even bark?"

"No."  

I don't want to mess with a good thing, plus I'm allergic to the bark and it gives me hives on my arms when I weed and that's the flower bed I mostly dig about (because it's my favorite).

He looked at me like maybe I was a little crazy.

Then I said, "And don't pull this out."  I indicated the anemic single thorny stick with zero leaves that I'm hoping will become a yellow rose bush.  Olivia gave it to me and it's originally from my grandparents' house.  I want a yellow rose bush!  If my hopes and dreams can make it happen, it will be something of a miracle.  The thing looks kind of dead.

"Don't pull it out," I reiterated.

And I'm not crazy.

Although I did consider creating a sign to post next to it.

Maybe I'm a little crazy.

A constant delight

 I mean, I typed that and I remembered how they grouse about someone cutting in line in front of them when the bell rings in the morning and is it really worth getting bent out of shape if you got in the classroom 3 seconds later than you were expecting? 

They aren't a constant delight, but nearly.

Yesterday I decided to jot down a note to remember the things they said that made me happy.

During literacy, I was working with a girl who is learning English.  She'd sound out a short vowel word (CVC if you're in the biz) and then I'd show her a picture of it and she'd say, "Oh!" because she didn't know it was called that in English but she was thrilled that she'd just read the word.  Same reaction on every word.  It's hard not to be happy when you are teaching someone who is that happy to be learning.

Later, another English learner, another girl, was at my table with a boy.  They aren't sounding out words so much as working on sounds (phonemic awareness if you're in the biz).  I showed a picture of a fin so they could match the sounds.  The boy got excited about sharks because we're going to the aquarium for a third grade field trip next week and they are all abuzz about it.  The girl said, "Wait.  Sharks are real!?!"

I said yes and she said, "Now I'm scared!"

I told her we would take care of her and I tried to explain glass and aquariums but didn't really succeed.

How wonderful to be able to expose someone to the fact that sharks are real!

Speaking of the field trip, I have a handful of students that haven't returned their permission slips.  I reminded them.  I showed the paper.  I asked, "Do you have this paper?"  A few found them crumpled in the bottom of their backpacks.  A girl said she'd given it to her mom but her mom hadn't given it back.  (When in doubt, blame your mom.)

Another English learner timidly asked what if her mom didn't want to sign it.

I tried to explain what it was.  I showed her the back of the permission slip which we'd had translated into Spanish.  I told her to see if her mom had seen the Spanish side.  She looked worried.  I tried to explain what the field trip was, again what an aquarium was.  She still looked worried.

I asked her if she needed a new paper.

She said, "No."

I said, "Give it to your mom."

During writing a girl asked me if I knew how to spell there.  I said, "I do!"

It truly sets me apart from the third graders, I'll tell you that.

They were writing opinion pieces and one of the prompts was do you prefer apples or carrots.  One of my favorite (it's OK to say that if I don't mention names, right?) told me why he prefers apples. You can cut them on bicycles.

I had to hear more.  He explained his method.  He hurls the apple at the spokes of his bike and it cuts the apple.

I said, "And then you eat it?"

He said, "And then I eat it."

I asked, "Does your bike get sticky?"

He said, "No.  But I could always spray water on it."

I didn't inquire about the cleanliness of the apple after the bike had sliced it.  

That kid is going places. (On his sticky bike.) 

At the end of the day, the girl who hadn't brought her permission slip walked up to me with the permission slip, her mother had signed the Spanish side.  

She said, "Does this help?"

I said, "Yes!"

It had been in her backpack all along.  

The takeaway is that moms are often on top of things.

I'm back

My friend Jamie told me after school that the Monday after Spring Break was the hardest Monday.  She's not kidding.

I looked at the stack of papers on my desk when I walked in my classroom yesterday morning and they seemed vaguely familiar but not quite.  I felt like I was three steps behind all day.

The weather is warmer and the students are antsy.

Meanwhile we have testing coming up and it's crunch time.

Meanwhile we have lots of home/family stuff too.

Geri stayed with us last night.  She's flying to Atlanta for a week and then she'll be back for BYU graduation celebrating next week.  It is exciting and wonderful, these graduates!

We signed Mark up for housing; he has a math placement test on Wednesday for USU.  He put all the dates of when his musical is on the calendar.

(You never met anyone so laissez faire about their housing.)

My mind is humming.

I asked the 4th grade teachers if we could please figure out when we are collaborating this summer because a girl needs to plan.  Story of my life.  For me, planning is a security blanket.

I don't really have a lot to say or time to say it but I didn't want to disappoint Marianne....

Grateful Friday

Yesterday I had a good and long and way overdue conversation with Janet.  We have to work around my school breaks to catch up but I'm grateful every time we do.

She gets it, the whole parenting adult children thing.  We are in this together and it is wonderful to have that in common.  

I also worked with Mark on fixing my desk.  I told him earlier when he wondered what I wanted for a birthday present, that I wanted his help with my desk.  He has all the fearlessness of an 18 year old boy and he also knows how to use power tools.  He's put enough Legos together that he can see how something needs to go.  

Adam was a little skeptical of the entire project because he said we needed to attach all the screws in such a way that they didn't interfere with the holes underneath the desk already (the poor desk has moved enough times that it's had the legs repositioned/changed multiple times).  Mark got a pencil and made marks for the screws.  I said, "Are you eyeballing that or measuring?"

He said, "Eyeballing."

I said, "I like the way you think."

I'm not what you would call a measurer.

One of the legs had the screw in the end loose and wobbly.  My dad said to take it out and fill the hole with with glue. We tried it without doing that, because why do more work than you have to? but we needed to pull it out.  So it's not 100% finished while we let the glue dry but we are well on the way.  

Back 25 years ago when Adam made the table, he wrote his initials on the bottom.  

Yesterday Mark added his.

I'm grateful to have Mark around for my projects.  He's a keeper.

A change is as good as a rest

I think the best way to describe it is that I've been puttering.  And mothering.  I met with Emma to help her unravel her to do list a little.  I did some online USU orientation with Mark; I recorded relevant dates for housing sign ups and class registration in my planner.  

Then I've just puttered around the house.  

I arranged the Easter flowers on the table.  

I cleaned the kitchen and did some laundry.  I painted some chairs.

I didn't take a before shot.  They were sort of faded black and a little rusty in spots.

Every time I walked by, I admired my new artwork that I bought with my birthday money.

I went to the grocery store and then Trader Joe's because I wanted some good strawberries.  I had a phone conversation with my mom, catching up on all the things and with my dad, in Home Depot, talking over how to raise/repair my desk.

Emboldened by his advice, I was able to have the surly guy in the lumber department cut some boards for me.

There are a few things I haven't done.  I haven't opened a few work emails in my inbox.  I have firmly put it out of my mind.  I am enjoying a break.

Utah State isn't the problem

The problem is that I'm not ready to let Mark go.

When has that ever stopped time's march?

On Monday we drove to Logan.  It is a marvelously short drive (two hours) which softens the whole Mark leaving home blow quite a bit.

It was my second time ever going to Logan and this time I had my eyes wide open because this is where my baby is going to live.

We took a campus tour and saw a housing presentation.  We ate in the cafeteria and visited the book store for some swag.

Mark called it swAggie.

We took a tour of the business school, which was impressive and beautiful.  We stopped by the Institute building.  It was all very nice and I like it all a lot.

Still.

I'm glad it's only two hours away.

That night, I looked on Family Search and found this picture of my grandpa at Utah State.

He's pictured with his dad and three sisters and I appreciate my mom putting these pictures on Family Search so I can scroll through them in a hotel room on my phone.

"Tomorrow we should recreate the picture,"Adam said.

Except this greeted us in the morning.

I'm going to need to get that kid a warm coat.

Pure joy

We had a wonderful weekend.  Friday I had an Easter egg hunt with my students.  I wrote math problems on eggs and hid them around the classroom.  The more eggs they found and answered correctly the more chances they had to win prizes! prizes! prizes!

I was feeling completely discouraged about another math test that I'd given them and this basket of correct answers filled me with hope.  They do know some stuff!  

Friday night we went to Dirty Rotten Scoundrels at the Hale Theater.  Mark and Adam checked in with the Mariners during the intermission.

It was a great show and I enjoyed it even though I was verrrrrrry sleepy.  By the time Friday night rolls around, I'm sort of worthless for anything besides sleep.

Saturday and Sunday were fabulous! General Conference never ever lets me down.

I alternated stitching the binding on Braeden and Anna's quilt (I finished it!) and taking notes and I was wearing my reading glasses and I'd take them off and put them back on depending on if I wanted to thread my needle or see the TV.  As my dad would say, I was busier than a three fingered fiddler.  

Saturday night Adam watched the priesthood session with his boys for the last time for at least the foreseeable future.  It was a beautiful day and Adam put camp chairs in the back of his car and selected a park near the restaurant where they were going to eat dinner. 

I love this picture.  

Mark came straight from work so he's wearing his work clothes.  When he was a little boy, he used to bring a clipboard and pen to stake conference and draw tiny stick figures battling.  It was his self prescribed way to help him sit still (sitting still = not his forte).  Now he plays a mindless game on his phone to help him listen.  

As for Braeden, who is sharing Mark's air pods, he is all laser focus.  Braeden can be forgetful and absent minded but not where the Gospel is concerned.

I love my boys.

I also love Mt. Timpanogos in the background.  It's like a huge set piece, the scenery of our life.

Anna worked on a school assignment and Emma and I worked on her bedroom (and I also quizzed her on state abbreviations and capitals because she wanted to see if she knew them all--she did).  My idea was to get rid of all the detritus in her room before she moves back home.  We filled a garbage bag of garbage and another garbage bag of clothes to donate.  And we still have more to do but it was an excellent start.  I love doing stuff like that and I especially loved it with Emma.  She's a good companion.

Sunday was more wonderful conference talks to listen to.  I took several pages of notes.  It's amazing how I can feel like I have so many ways to improve, but I also feel encouraged and lifted.

In the very last talk, President Nelson announced that there would be 20 new temples built.  Amazing!  I got teary as he went down the list, knowing how much that would mean to the people who lived in those places.  Then he announced a temple in Elko, Nevada!

Cue ugly crying.

It was just so overwhelming and joyful to me!  I immediately thought about all the good people in my stake when I was growing up.  I thought about my grandparents (both sets) who were stake leaders and helped build Zion there.  I thought about my parents and my dad's cousins and my siblings who live there and who have worked and served in the stake.  I thought about all of their influence and hard work and what a blessing this would be to the people who live there now.

We thank thee O God for a prophet!

As soon as the closing song started, I got a text from Erin, my dear friend and college roommate (of nearly 30 years ago!).  She sent a string of hearts.

It's nice to have 30 year long friendships.

From that elation, we prepared our Easter dinner.  Mostly Adam did the cooking.  I set the table (and took a picture of it, because that's what I do).

I also kept telling Braeden to stop eating jelly beans!  I didn't want the aesthetic spoiled before we'd even sat down to eat.

We had ham and baked potatoes and asparagus and roasted carrots and deviled eggs and pie that Braeden and Anna brought.  It was a feast!

Then, because we weren't ready to be done with conference talks, Adam played part of a talk by Elder Holland from 2009 about Easter. 

I'm ever grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I'm grateful for the many ways His Atonement has blessed my life.  I love glimpses I see that reassure me that whatever happens, everything will be OK.  President Nelson told a story of visiting some Pacific Islands a few years ago.  They were going to have outdoor meetings and it was raining.  In three of the locations, the people prayed and the rain stopped.  In Tonga, the people prayed and the rain did not stop.  

President Nelson showed a picture of the audience, wearing rain ponchos, listening to the meeting and said they had faith for when the rain didn't stop.

It keeps reverberating in my brain.

I want to have faith even when the rain doesn't stop.

Grateful Friday

Today I'm grateful for my mom.  It's her birthday!  She is good through and through.  She would do anything for people she loves.  She has always been an example to me of service and righteousness and faith and I appreciate her.

Today I'm grateful for spring break!  I'm looking forward to a tiny road trip and then the rest of the days at home to do projects.  I have a list.  Most of my breaks from school this year have been busy elsewhere or with guests and I will enjoy some home time.

Today I'm grateful for my school.  I love the people I work with.  I love being a teacher.  I love that I get a break from it for awhile though.

Today I'm grateful for my family.  I am looking forward to spending the weekend with my people.  Last night Adam and I ate with Emma.  The conversation turned to international flags (like it does) and Emma has been diving deep into flags and Adam brought up how he once went down a rabbit hole of Scandinavian countries and their Nordic crosses.  These are just the kind of nerds I love.  (Also, the Uganda flag is awesome.  I know because Emma showed me.)

Today I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I'm grateful for Easter to remind me of the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  I'm grateful for General Conference this weekend.  It is a gift!  I love having time to listen to our leaders.  I love soaking up perspective and inspiration and resolving to do better and be better.

Friday is trivia day

I'm trying to hold down the fort but I have A LOT of absent students and I have had for a few weeks.  Not the same students, mind you, just a rotating roster of absent students.  I've lost track of who was absent when we learned what.

I have a student whose birthday is on Sunday and next week is Spring Break.  I asked her if she would like to celebrate her birthday on Friday.

She laughed at me and said, "I won't be here Friday!"

Like I was the goofball thinking she would.

Another student is convinced that our field trip (which is April 20, you can ask each permission slip that went home.  It is April 20.  I promise.) is this Friday.  Her mom told her it was.  It doesn't matter how many times I say it is April 20.  Her mom said.

Another student said he would be gone Friday.  Going to Idaho.  He said, "So are we going to be learning anything important on Friday?"

Sometimes I don't know what to say.  I really don't.  In my naive mind, it is all important.  I've decided on a solution though:  Friday is trivia day.  

It will be What did Jack and Jill go up the hill to fetch? and What color is an emerald? all day long.  Things like that.

Nothing important.