Nothing lasts forever

Saturday I started boiling water and pouring it into a five gallon thermos on the counter.  We needed safe water so I decided to stock up.  I had two pots on the stove, boiling, and I started tinkering in the pantry while I waited.  I pulled out some things and organized some others and soon I had everything out of the pantry, stopping every once in a while to refill pots of water.

It turned into a four hour long process which in the scheme of things, isn't too long, but for a precious Saturday, I had a lot of other things I should have been doing.

Still.  The pantry looks better.

I was fully expecting the boil order to be lifted Sunday night.  (They predicted it would.) Then I had my hopes dashed when it wasn't.

Adam, ever practical, said, "That's why you never plan on things like that happening when they say they will."

OK, Eeyore.

Monday Emma texted, "Should I be worried the water tastes like nail polish remover?"

I said, "Don't drink the water."

She texted back it was the boiled water.

It had been in the thermos too long and tasted weird.

I put a bottle of sparkling water in the fridge to drink with our dinner but it wasn't cold by dinner time and we had no ice.

Boil orders are the pits.

Adam was off at a high falutin' work something or other so Emma and I made companion shepherd's pie for our dinner.  Mine had beef and hers had not meat.  I don't know what it is but she cooked it all the same.  She decided to be a vegetarian in February and she's still going strong.

One look at that not meat stuff keeps me happily eating animals.

We each filled a 9 X 9 pan with our concoctions.  I traced an M in my mashed potatoes and she traced a V in hers.  I didn't want to accidentally eat the wrong one.

Over dinner we chatted about the origin of shepherd's pie and that led us down an ancestry path.  I checked back on my Ancestry DNA results that had been updated in July 2020 and apparently I went from being mainly from the British Isles to mainly Swedish.

I don't think I could get any whiter so I think either one works.

We were cleaning up the kitchen when I got two text messages and three emails that the boil order had been lifted!  Effective immediately!

Emma and I turned on all the taps to let everything run for 5 minutes as instructed.  Then I asked Emma to help me change the fridge filter.  She said, "I didn't even know that was a thing."

I told her Mark usually did it.  I said, "It isn't a two person job but I am intimidated and need moral support."

We couldn't do it.

Emma said, "Let's wait for Dad."

But I texted Mark instead.  I got him on FaceTime and I showed him how I couldn't twist the filter.  He told me to get pliers.  Then he said, "No, not needle nose pliers."  So I got other pliers.

He talked me through the whole thing.  

I showed him the pantry while I had him there on FaceTime and we were right next to it.  He was impressed to a satisfactory degree.

I was about to hang up the phone and he said, "Wait!"

I said, "What?"

He said, "Will you put the camera back on your face so I can see you?"

So I did.

Maybe he misses me too.

What matters

I spoke in church yesterday.  I basically do public speaking all day everyday, but I was still really nervous.  I think it is harder when they aren't 8 years old.

Adam said that I should post my talk on my blog but it was sort of long for a blog post.  I can tell you the gist though.  I was asked to speak about family history and taking the names of family members to the temple to perform proxy work for them there.

I talked a little about my great grandma, Arvella Jaynes.  We called her Grandma with the Brown Eyes when we were little, to distinguish her from our other grandmas.  How I loved her!

I talked about her Book of Remembrance and how she sparked an interest in me about family history.  

I talked about Adam's dad, Linn, and how much it mattered to me that we were sealed together as a family.

I talked about Stella, and how much helping her with her family's temple work matters to us.

I talked about the new temple in Elko, NV and how much that matters to the people living there.

I guess what it comes down to is that it all matters a lot.

We have ward members in the hospital and really struggling in a lot of ways, one of my sweet students suffered the death of his father this past week, the news in the world is dark and grim.

Yet twenty temples were announced at the last conference.

Temple covenants are the answer to everything troubling us.  What a blessing that we can be sealed together forever!  Can anything matter more?

Grateful Friday

There are so many tragedies in the world.  Some of them are happening to my little students.  It is so much for their small shoulders to carry.  Some of them are happening to my fellow ward members and neighbors.

The world feels like a heavy place sometimes.

I'm grateful for a principal who has endless smiles and energy but also deep wells of kindness and empathy.

I'm grateful for a school counselor who handed me Kleenex when I was seeking advice from her on how to help a student.

I'm grateful for Janelle, who Understands with a capital U.

I'm grateful for Emily, who brought me a chocolate truffle.  She said, "We are on survival rations here."

I'm grateful for my family who buoys me.

I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ that gives me hope.  

An update

I had a two day long migraine.

Tuesday I went to the office and begged Camie for some Tylenol.  She said, "I have Excedrin Migraine."  

I said, "I just took 4 Advil."

She handed me the Tylenol.

Yesterday my headache was still going strong.  Very strong.  I went back to the office and said, "OK, give me the migraine medicine."

She said, "It might make you feel like you're floating."

I was OK with that.

Basically this is what I was hoping for.

This may be of particular interest to my sisters--and Ammon--who have the same dumb neck and back as me.  I decided I couldn't live like this and googled until I found Bob and Brad, the self proclaimed two most famous physical therapists on the internet.  I did some of the exercises they suggested and I think they helped.

Adam was in California helping Braeden and Anna with their move.  

Anna texted this picture Tuesday, which made it feel like I couldn't keep pretending they were still in Provo.

Emma went to the store for me.  (I had her pick up some Excedrin for me.  I'm keeping it at school.)  Then we made dinner and cleaned the kitchen together while we chatted.

Then she went to play the piano and sing.

Emma drove to the airport to get Adam which I was super grateful for.  It was way past my bedtime.  

If she thinks I'm ever letting her move out, she's got another thing coming.

Our family texting is alive and well and...weird.

Last night, things got interesting at our house.

We got notice of a boil order for PG, because of e coli. 

Then the power went out during a lightning storm.

I didn't sleep well because it was hot and I didn't have my fans running.  At 2:00 AM, I looked at my phone because I had to do something.  I saw this:

It still just makes me laugh.  Marek is Mark's awesome friend who we all love.  He has transferred over from Mark's friend to honorary son in my mind.  He is the gift that keeps giving.

Finally, things are plugging away at school.  I'm slowly getting settled into a routine.  I've managed to be mostly friendly despite my crushing headache.

And that's something.

How about some good news?

I think they have told everyone they wanted to tell in person, so I can freely talk about it.

I am going to be a grandma!  I am thrilled; the only downside is the darn parents moved away!

The baby is due in March.  I have already asked Adam how many books are too many to buy for a grandchild.  He didn't answer so I'm guessing that means proceed.

Every one of my friends who has achieved grandparent status tells me how wonderful it is.  It feels kind of dreamy and it gives me something happy to think about.

I told Adam the other day that instead of starting a new chapter, I feel like we're starting a new part.  If our lives together were like a long novel, divided into parts, with the parts divided into chapters, I think we are starting Part III.

Part I was our falling in love and getting married.

Part II was having children.

Part III is this empty-ish nest, grandparent, new frontier.

I don't think I was prepared for Part II so I guess it's OK that I don't really know what to expect...except everyone says expect good things.

I'll take it.

A tale of two aggies

Friday night we were going to have our last family dinner for awhile.  Adam apparently had food poisoning and he was very very sick.  I had slept horribly on Thursday night and I was very very tired (plus the first week of school knocked me flat).

We both still wanted to go to dinner with our kids.

I told Emma she needed to lead the family.

We went to a new pizza restaurant Braeden recommended.  Adam stayed for a few minutes and then he left.

I ate dinner with my dear four and tried not to think about it.  They're leaving.  I tried not to think about it.

We all went back to our house and Mark and Braeden gave Adam a blessing.  It is an amazing experience to watch your boys give their dad a priesthood blessing.

We went to bed (me still trying not to think about it--luckily I was so tired that I soon slept).

Saturday morning Adam still felt really sick.  Mark was a buzzing anxious boy.  He was bolting around packing and gathering stuff up.

I had given up trying not to think about it, but I devoted my energy to helping him.  Adam didn't think he could go to Logan with us and it made him super sad.  I felt really sad too.  I felt sad for Adam but also sad for me because I wanted him there.  Adam went back to bed and Mark and I knelt and prayed that he would feel better so he could go with us.  Then I went and woke up Emma and told her we needed her to pray too.

Then I decided to call Braeden.  We needed the faith and prayers of everyone.  Braeden said, "When I gave Dad a blessing, I blessed him twice that he would be able to go.  I thought it was strange that I said it twice, but he will be able to go.  He'll be fine."

Braeden had such a confident tone of voice, I immediately felt better.  I told Mark, "Your dad is coming with us.  Let's give him an hour to sleep and then he will be fine."

So I sat on the couch with Mark's head on my lap and we talked while I ruffled my fingers through his red curls.

Soon, Adam got up and took a shower.  The kids and I had already loaded the van and away we went.  Adam didn't feel 100% better but I was so grateful that our prayers had been answered and he was able to go with us.  

On the one hand, it was a small thing.  We would have been OK going without Adam.  On the other hand, it felt like a huge thing.  I felt loved by a Heavenly Father who blessed us.

We moved Mark into his apartment.  We left him to unpack (he didn't want help even though my fingers were itching to set it up in the best way) and we went to Walmart for a few things.  Adam stayed in the car and Emma and I ventured into the craziest Walmart scene I've ever experienced.  The aisles were clogged with college aged kids and their stressed out mothers.  I heard mothers rattling off their list of things they needed and I got an idea.  Yes, a garbage can.  We need to get one for Mark because I hadn't seen one in the room.

I was grateful to have Emma.  I felt these amped up emotions and she was just steady and cheerful and helpful.  

We met Mark back in the student center where he was waiting in an enormous line for his student ID.  Adam sat on a nearby chair while we waited.  Mark kept putting his arm around me and telling me he loved me and I did my best not to cry.  No one wants to see the woman in the student ID line weeping.

After that, the kids walked back to Mark's dorm and Adam and I drove the van back.  Before we left the student center, a freshman looking girl walked past us, crying.  She went into the nearby bathroom and I could hear her inside, sobbing.  My heart broke for her and me and all of us making this hard but ultimately happy transition.  My mother heart wanted to go in and hug her.

We went back to Mark's dorm and met a few of his roommates.  There are six of them sharing the apartment.  They seemed nice but it also just felt sort of fraught, all of them awkwardly trying to set up their little corners, among strangers.  Mark walked us out to the van and that's when I did start weeping.  We hugged and hugged some more, then drove away.  

Just like that.

Later, Mark texted that one of his roommates also has type 1 diabetes.  It felt like another tiny miracle.  I have prayed for Mark as he's going to college and I never prayed that one of his roommates would also have diabetes, but it feels like a blessing that they will have each other.  

Sunday we had Braeden and Anna over for a last Sunday dinner.  Sheesh.  Did it all have to happen on the same weekend?

The spent the afternoon and evening with us and it was so nice and felt like just another Sunday and then I would remember.  Amy (Anna's mom) is in Utah, house hunting, and that makes me SUPER happy because we like them so much.  Amy and Natalie (Anna's sister) joined us for dinner and we had a very good visit.  We have a lot in common, including our love for Braeden and Anna.  We FaceTimed with Mark which was unsatisfactory, but still glad we could do it.  

We at last had a tearful goodbye with Braeden and Anna.  I love those two and I'm so proud of them and confident they will be happy and do great things.

It's just that I'll miss them.

Emma started getting her stuff assembled for her first day of work today and Adam started thinking about getting ready for his trip to California (he is driving with them, he said he is paying it forward because his dad drove with him to Connecticut when we moved there--it's good to have good examples).

I felt overwhelmed by everything.

It has all been a lot to process.  

This weekend reminded me that God is mindful of me and my family.  It made me feel grateful for the opportunities our children have to learn and grow.  It made me tell Emma at one point that motherhood was a trap.  You get these wonderful children you love completely and then they leave you.

Too hard.

I wouldn't change it, but still.

Grateful Friday

Yesterday was another hard day.  I think there will likely be more hard than easy days for awhile.  There is no way around such a big class in a Title 1 school where there are so many needs being hard.  Coupled with the emotions I am feeling about my boys moving away this weekend, I'm sort of a hot mess express.

Here's what I'm grateful for though:  my friends.  We had talked to Jamie about meeting after school yesterday to go over math for next week but then Janelle and I were both very very overwhelmed and we asked if we could just not and she said, "Of course."

She cares more about us than our jobs and that is a blessing.

Janelle and I went in my room to meet about something else and I closed the door because I needed to cry.

Janelle had cried the day before and it's a good thing we are on an every other day rotation.  I'm so grateful she is my good friend.  I can't imagine this with a stranger or a person I didn't really get along with.  We've got each other's backs and we are OK with tears.

Emily, the special ed teacher who has her own really difficult row to hoe in our needy school, came looking for us and couldn't find us.  When she did I said, "I had the door shut because I needed to cry."

She said, "Well, yeah."  She understood.  And I've seen her cry before too.

(Does it seem like these are emotional women?  Maybe.  But they also have the most charitable hearts in the world and nerves of steel.)

Then I went to talk to Courtney who coordinated the aides' schedule and she has been bending over backwards to get us help.  She asked me if we were OK and I said that we were not crying on the same day and she totally got it and said, "That is a good team!"

So it's super hard but I've got friends and that makes a lot of difference.

I also have Adam.  He 100% knows how I feel about this whole family change happening.  Side by side, I can handle it.

Now, that's better

Yesterday was MUCH better.  I made a few adjustments that helped and my technology was on my side which also helped.

Tuesday after school I had talked to Jamie, who is the instructional coach and also my friend and also my life coach (I designated her as that because she knows everything), about the catastrophe that was my day. She offered to come in during math and help and I quickly took her up on the offer.  

Jami, the principal, also came into my classroom during math.

I felt like I really must be on the struggle bus.

At lunch, I saw Jami and I said, "Did you come into my classroom because you heard what a wreck I was yesterday?"

He said, "No, I was counting your students."  The district, to their credit, is concerned about our big classes.  

Then he said, "Did math not go well yesterday?"

I said, "Nothing went well yesterday."

Speaking of Jami, he sent home a bulletin to parents last night and included was a reminder about our new pick up and drop off procedure:

It's not the most flattering way to be described, but he wasn't wrong.  We did look like wet rats.  This torrential rain of biblical proportions came down right when the bell rang.  It seems like the only kind of weather we have lately is extreme weather, with a side of California smoke.  There was thunder and lightning and hail and it was really something.

There were also hysterical children and tears and chaos.  

One of my little girls was sobbing because she couldn't find her bother and she was terrified.  I had her huddled under my umbrella with my arm around her and every time there was lightning or thunder her little shoulders would shake and she would wail.  We walked all around the perimeter of the school and we finally found him, warm and dry in the office.  Then I had another little girl, sitting bereft on a bench.  The secretaries were working the phones like the superheroes they are, one in English and one in Spanish.  One of them told my student her mom was outside.  She seemed too scared to move from her spot.  I held out my hand to her and she took it and we walked hand in hand until I delivered her to her mom.  

After we finally got everyone sorted, the teachers took off their shoes and walked around barefoot because our shoes were all so soaked.  

I felt proud to be numbered among them.  I work in a school that cares deeply about our students.  If that was in doubt, you could just eye the drenched teachers and administrators and aides who spent 30 minutes helping reunite parents and kids.

Besides the bonding time I had with two little girls dodging lightning bolts looking for family members, I enjoyed my day with my new class.

I started reading a new chapter book to them and I loved the way they listened reverently, engrossed in the story.  There are few things that delight me more than reading aloud to appreciative children.

I was wearing these earrings:

On the way to art, one little boy looked up appraisingly at me and said, "Are your earrings made of potato chips?"

I said no and he looked skeptical.

I bent over so he could feel them.  He said, "Wow, they look just like potato chips!"

I don't know what kind of potato chips he eats but I do know one thing.

I like my job.

Wow

I feel like it needs to be documented here so that every other hard day in the future will be put into perspective, as in:  at least it wasn't like that day.

The first day of school is always hard.

Having so many students is going to be...hard.

But here's what else happened:

• My microphone didn't work most of the day.
• One student had a complete come apart.  She missed her mom and her dad and her stomach hurt and she hadn't had enough breakfast and she hated math.
• A few kids cried during math.
• I pulled out the place value blocks and half of them were fraction tiles.
• My Apple TV would. Not. Work.
• I logged into the new phonics program and I got an Access Denied message.
• None of the videos we were supposed to show with rules, etc. would play.  Or they would play without sound.  Or they would play and then freeze.
• I couldn't find the papers I was going to have them use to create passwords. (But then I found them later so it was OK.)
• My tooth.  Yes, that tooth, the one I have had trouble with for months, has been hurting.  A lot.
• They complained all morning about how hungry they were and how long until lunch?!? and then I was told that our lunch will actually be later.  Only by a few minutes, but still.
• Turns out it takes a long time for that many students to do anything--line up, go to lunch, hand sanitizer, get things out of their folders, stack chairs.  It takes forever.
• I didn't even get to reading comprehension.  Did not happen.

As a little cherry on top, last night there was lightning and thunder banging and crashing.  Living where we do we get some intense house shaking wind in storms like that.  

A tempest felt like an appropriate way to end the day.

Today will be better.  It can't be worse.  Mark told me that.  I said, "Well, the school could burn down."  

He said, "Yeah, but then at least you wouldn't have to go."

But I want to go.  After such an extravagantly terrible beginning, I know it will get better.  Everything is figure-out-able.  Up is the only option.

And they are very cute!  All of them.

Go time

Emma and Mark came and helped me label all the things.

I sat in three separate meetings (one was super short).

My blood pressure rose when I read all the emails.

Everyone has their agenda and they want me to put it first.

I clarified policies, I made a spreadsheet, I made copies, I stood in line to get my picture taken.

(I hate getting my picture taken.)

I laughed a lot because teacher friends are funny friends.

Right before I left my classroom, I felt this excited/dread/surreal feeling.  

Ready or not, here they come....

Where I'm at

On Saturday, Marianne called and when I answered she said, "Are you out of breath?"

I think so.

All day.

Everything feels like a lot.

Friday was back to school night.  Here was my classroom:

The projector on the ceiling is an exciting new development.  It used to be in a different location and I've been campaigning for months to get it moved and the electrician finally came and did the final work on Friday!

A few parents commented on all the desks.  Are you going to fill all these seats?  How big is your class?

I met a lot of my students.  Some of them were shy.  Some of them were not.  A few of them followed me around and interrupted me from talking to other people.  One boy quizzed me over and over again about how he was going to be able to get Skittles.  I have four students who are younger siblings of former students.  One of them gave me a treat and hugged me.  A few parents took me aside and confided real challenges their children have.  All I can do is gulp and smile and say a cheery OK!

There will be some language barriers.  I can see that already.  I can also see that they are adorable and have endearing personalities and I'm so excited.  I'm ready to dive in.

And also Friday night when one of the other teachers asked me if I was ready, I laughed out loud and he said, "Yeah, that seems like a perfect response."

In my other hand, I'm also holding the fact that Mark is leaving on Saturday.  Adam and I both feel this deep sadness over it and also we feel excited for him.  It's confusing to have so many emotions at once.

Saturday, I devoted lots of time to spend with Mark.  We went to Salt Lake to pick up the insulin that Marianne brought that Mark left in Nevada.  (It takes a village.) We also went to a few stores.  I'm at the shopping stage.  I think it is one of the stages of grieving when you have a child leave home.

In my mind, he will be fine if I just buy the right stuff.  And if he's fine, I'll be fine.  It's putting a lot of pressure on a box of bandaids, but here we are.

It was restorative for me to spend a good part of the day with Mark.  We talked about intense things.

Not really.

Mark just gave me that look because my kids are weirdos. 

We talked a lot about my new school year and about college and the state of the world and he told me about his previous night with his friends.

I think the upcoming week will not be easy.

Here's hoping my class will distract me from feeling sad about Mark leaving and evenings spent with Mark will distract me from feeling overwhelmed about my class.

That will work, right?

Grateful Friday

Mark came home last night.  Before leaving Wells, he had a low blood sugar incident and it scared him and me.  He didn't have everything he needed and hopefully he will do better remembering after the scare.

I purely hated it.

When he got home, we hugged.  About ten times.

He was unpacking his things and I said, "Mark, I have something to tell you, so brace yourself."

He said, "OK, what?"

I said, "You have diabetes."

I went on with a little lecture about how he needed to always be ready for an emergency.  Then I said, "OK, end of lecture."

He smiled at me and said, "I've missed our little talks."

I'm glad he's home and grateful he's safe.

And I don't want him to go to college.

But I also do, because of course I do.

But I also don't.

Motherhood is no fun.

Empty nest: trial period

Well, I miss Mark.  I do.  He's my baby and always will be, but he's also sort of my buddy too.  I am used to checking in with him when I get home.  We would tell each other about our days and I would ask him a few times if he had homework because I would forget to listen to his answer.  I miss him.

And with Emma here, it still feels like an empty nest.  She's a grown up girl and independent.

I came home beyond tired yesterday.  Even though I felt like I'd been planted at my desk all day, I still got over 10,000 steps on my fitbit.  Being a teacher is an active pursuit and I don't even have students yet.  We have a new math curriculum and a new phonics curriculum and my brain hurt from trying to wrap my mind around the newness.  Janelle and I made copies and plans and curriculum maps and unit learning plans.  It was a busy day.

I looked fondly at what I had planned to make for dinner and I thought, yeah, that's not going to happen.  I took Emma to Walmart with me because I needed to get some things and I needed company.  I said, "If we see something at Walmart that seems good for dinner, we'll get it, otherwise, we'll go to Wendy's."

Wendy's it was.  What did I think was going to be good for dinner at Walmart?  

Adam had church meetings so when we got home and had sent him on his way, I asked Emma if she needed me for anything.  She cheerfully said, "Nope!"

I wanted to just sit and watch a blank wall but I did have some computer work to do and I was happy that no one needed me for anything else.

So here's the thing about the empty nest:  I may be just as spotty with my homemaking and mothering practices, but I no longer feel any guilt about it.

That's something.

Amping up

Long focused days in my classroom are back.  I have loved chatting with other teachers over the hum of the copy machines.  We're happy to be back together.  

I heard children's voices in the hall because some teachers were testing yesterday.  It made me happy.  

I have figured out how to fit 34 desks in my classroom and it feels slightly insane but this is the world I live in.

I did the mandatory district training.  Canvas is soul deadening.

I took a plant for Kate's classroom.  I told her philodendrons are impossible to kill, then I admitted I knew of two people who had killed them.  Still.  

The custodian told me that I am getting a new countertop and cabinets for my classroom.  He said it usually takes about 6 months and they were ordered at the beginning of summer.  So maybe it will be my Christmas present!  That will be amazing!

I also found out Janelle's classroom is 25 square feet bigger than mine.

Humph.

I saw two of my former students and they smiled shyly and one of them came up to me for a hug, then hesitated, then hugged me anyway.  

I have a BIG class this year.  Will I love them as much as my classes in the past?  

I'm pretty sure I will.

Strong like Margaret

When I was pregnant with Emma, I had to climb 100 stairs back to our apartment from the basement laundry facilities.  I had bulky laundry bags and one-year-old Braeden to tow along with me.  Toward the end of the pregnancy, I would contemplate those stairs and think of Margaret Gardner, my ancestor who crossed the plains.  She gave birth 9 days after reaching the Salt Lake Valley.  That bolstered my courage.  If Margaret could do that, then I could climb those stairs.  Her blood is in my veins.

Sunday night, I sent Mark to Nevada.  Solo.  Marianne and Robert generously hired him to work for them for several days.  I felt trepidation about the whole thing.  There was all of the don't drive too fast, watch out for deer, take care of all the diabetes stuff, but then there was also the anticipation that in a few weeks, we'll be sending him to college.  This is just a sampling of that.

I am not sure I am equal to the task.

I know they can't stay little forever, but why not?  I think of my two boys, moving away within two days of each other.  I wish I could have had these smirking faces for a little longer:

I remembered my grandma though, Margaret Dahl.  When they lived in Virginia, she put her sons, my uncles, on a bus for Nevada.  They were 9 and 11 years old.  That bolstered my courage.  If Margaret could do that, then I could send my boys on their way.  Her blood is in my veins.

This keeps rolling through my mind.

Families

On Thursday, Desi and Mason were married.  It was wonderful.  An eternal family was created.  I loved being in the temple with so many family members.  I loved the glowing smiles on the happy couple's faces.  I loved squeezing Adam's hands while I listened to the marriage covenants being made.  It matters. I loved that Adam pointed to a box of Kleenex before we went to the sealing room and said, "Do yourself a favor."

He wasn't wrong.

We went to a luncheon following the temple, hosted by Mason's parents.  It was lovely and Desi's and Mason's friends entertained us with their speeches and performances.  Accompanied by Liberty on the piano, my sweet nieces and Mason's sister sang "Young Love" which my sisters and I sang at Marianne and Robert's wedding reception.

I sat by Tabor so I would have been entertained even if there hadn't been a little program.

From there I went with my parents.  We spent a little time with my grandma.  She is 94 and understandably feeble.  It is a hard stage of life.  As I was watching her struggle in and out of the car while we tried to help her, I was struck by how much I love her.  She has always been a beacon of kindness in my life.  Her generosity and support lifted our family.

I went to Costco with my mom.  We separated, looking for the trail mix my mom was after.  I found it and then I started looking for my mom and I was transported back to my childhood when I would wander off at Albertsons and then scan the aisles for my mom.  Shopping with your mom is like riding a bicycle.

I rode to Nevada with my parents.  We stopped for dinner and I said I would buy them dinner and they would not have it.

They bought me dinner.  They said, "You're our Patty Punkety."  I have no idea where I got that nickname but it has been mine all these years and apparently it explains why I can't buy them dinner.

I stayed at my parents' house, an only child.  I think I could count on one hand the times that has happened.

We went to Marianne's the next morning.  She had a notebook of lists and directions and recipes.  Someone would ask her a question and she would rapidly flip through the pages to find the answer.  She was sending people all sorts of directions and smiling and thanking people right and left. She also kept making my mom sit down.

Which isn't an easy task. 

But Marianne is a force to be reckoned with.  I'd go into battle with her and her lists.

She and Desi were sort of the wedding dream team because Marianne was the logistical and culinary whiz and Desi had strong opinions and planning skills with the decorations and general aesthetic and they stayed out of each other's way.  Desi and Mason didn't get there until mid afternoon but Desi's roommates were there and they had been given their own marching orders.

Olivia hosted us all for lunch, which was a generous and genius move because Marianne's kitchen was sort of a war zone.

It all came together beautifully and I loved spending the day with my mom and sisters and nieces, churning out salads and following orders.

And, in full disclosure, giving a few.  I took the tablecloths in hand and I got a little bossy.

In the late afternoon, we took a break to get ourselves ready and I sat in my parent's living room, visiting with them and Tabor.

At the reception, the lovely reception, I enjoyed more visiting.  My parents sat with my dad's siblings down the table from where I was sitting with mine.  I love the way we gravitate to each other.

We stayed long enough for the cake cutting, bouquet throwing and first dance.  Robert and Desi danced together to a song Hyrum had recorded before leaving for Ghana.  Hearing that boy strum the guitar and sing while Robert and Desi danced....

Adam wasn't there to warn me to prepare with Kleenex.

Emma and Mark and I headed back to Utah (they had driven there that afternoon and Adam had to stay and work).

I drove awhile and then Mark took over.  

The conversation drifted to Mark's all too soon college adventure.  I started down the oft repeated refrain:  go to Institute!  Get involved in your ward!  Study!

Then Emma started talking to him and I buttoned my lips.

Her advice is about 1000 times more credible to him than mine.  

These few days reminded me of how grateful I am for families.  What an amazing blessing to be organized into groups of people that love each other and help each other and learn from each other.

And how wonderful is it that they can last forever!

I didn't take pictures, but I nabbed a few on Facebook, as is my habit.

Clarissa, Timeon, Marianne, Mason, Deseret, Robert, Liberty, Morgan and Carolina.  One of my favorite families in the world!

The bridesmaids.  My pretty girl is the 4th from the left, standing.

Clarissa and Timeon and Matty (Timeon's cousin) performed a Kiribati dance and it was awesome.

Carolina made and decorated the cake.  I could give you a whole run down of the unique contributions each of Marianne's children made to the affair.  It is a lesson in valuing variety. (I did outline it all for my kids because I loved it so much.)

Grateful Friday: the bluest blue and the greenest green

Tuesday we headed to Edmonds to take the ferry to Kingston on the peninsula.  We were surrounded by blue.

On the ferry, I saw what looked like someone on a kayak.  That didn't make sense.  I kept watching and realized it was an orca.  I saw the flash of white as it flicked its tail and reemerged.  It was far enough away that I couldn't tell if it was the same orca over and over or more than one.

Still, I was excited.  I had never seen an orca in the wild before.

We went to Port Gamble which is a darling little seaside town.  The people who founded it were from Maine so it looked like a New England seaside town.  

Then, we went to Olympic National Park.  We climbed up and up, stopping at a few viewpoints.

The pictures never do mother nature justice and that's sort of wonderful.  Our eyes are pretty great.

Here, I told Emma to look pensive and this was the best she could do.

I am one of those people who can't successfully take a selfie.

We went to Hurricane Ridge, which is above the tree line.  There were some amazing views of mountains and glaciers.

We also saw several deer and a marmot which is a ridiculous looking animal if you ask me.  I think I hate everything that is mouse adjacent.

We were staying in Forks that night.  We checked into our hotel, had dinner and then high tailed it to the beach for sunset.  We got there just in time.

It was delightful traveling with these adult children.  They are interesting and pleasant and funny.

It was just SO pretty!

Jackson is taking a picture and Mark is throwing rocks which was on brand for both of them.

Mark stopped throwing rocks long enough to create this.

For my part, I'm a beach scavenger.  Pretty rocks and seashells and sea glass.  I'm not good at finding sea glass but Geri is and she gives it to me.

Here I am rubbing the sand off a treasure.  

I mostly carry my finds around for a little while and then drop them back on the beach. I keep some of them (for sure the sea glass).

With her artist's eye, Emma took this shot.  These are the rocks Mark hadn't thrown...yet.

And here's Adam's artsy picture:

Adam and I went to the grocery store Wednesday morning to buy stuff for breakfast.  

I couldn't resist texting this picture to our kids:  

When in Rome...

Speaking of the Forks experience, Geri and Adam and Mark and I went to the beach and the rest of the group went "full tourist" as Emma described it.

When they were tweens, Emma and Tali were all in with the Twilight series and they had a chance to revisit their passion.

this sign is at the border in La Push where the reservation starts

To get to the beach, we took a trail through the woods.  So much green!

I think the tall trees made me taller.

The dense trees opened into a wide beach.

And the beach made the small hike well worth it!

This is as much as I got in the water.  It was coooold.  Not like Florida Keys ocean water!

Related:  who wears long jeans and a sweatshirt to the beach in July?  Me.  In the PNW, me.

The tide was out so we got to see all sorts of creatures.

Adam and Mark flew Adam's stunt kite and one of them took this picture so now you know what it looks like to fly a stunt kite.

The beach is always a good idea.

Also, I texted this picture to Braeden and Anna.  I pointed out how white I was that I got a small sunburn in Forks, WA.  It was the setting for Twilight because of its lack of sunshine!

After the beach we went to the Hoh rainforest.  

The trees kept getting thicker if that was possible.

We drove through dense trees and I was looking forward to being in the temperate rainforest (a first for me) but alas, the parking lot was full and the wait was about 45 minutes so we parted ways and our family headed to Portland.

We drove along the Pacific Coast Highway and saw some beautiful ocean vistas, not very well photographed through the windshield, but you get the idea.

We stayed in Portland and the next day drove home.  We drove through the gorge, along the Columbia River.

Another windshield picture....

Mark decided Oregon was Washington light.  Free, he said, but with ads.

Sometimes I'm not 100% sure what that kid means.

So that brings you to the end of our trip.  We packed a lot into a short week.  It was a wonderful time and I'm grateful we got to go!

Here's something else I'm grateful for today:  it is Braeden and Anna's anniversary.  I love those two and I love that they found each other!