Nature is amazing. (And also I haven't killed the caterpillars which is winning!)
Anna sent this picture of these cuties.
The thing I'm most grateful for today?
Adam is home.
Yesterday two things happened that made me whiny.
1) I found out there was a post test for all the LETRS units I've done that I hadn't completed even though I thought I was done with everything.
2) I found out that Adam had to stay on his trip longer.
Woe was me.
But all was not lost.
Camie came in my room after school while I was doing the LETRS test. I told her my sad tale and she commiserated. Then I said, "I shouldn't whine. I always tell my students they can't whine."
She said, "There is only one of you and I don't mind."
Everyone needs a Camie in their life.
When I talked to Adam last night he said, "Watch Downton Abbey without me. I can catch up on the plane."
So there's that. I'd rather have Adam home, but at least I have Downton Abbey.
Life is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's good.
Isn't every day?
I didn't have any power struggles with small children so that was something.
Yesterday we had no students and we attended a virtual LETRS training. I really hate sitting at my desk all day and virtual training is kind of awful too. Also, our teacher had wacky pronunciation that mystified me. She called our school Bonnie-ville. She said introdoce and bay-guette instead of baguette. It all added up to really odd for someone who is supposed to be teaching about decoding and morphemes and phonemes. Otherwise it was...fine.
My friends and I went to lunch because we had an entire hour. We chatted about everything from our church callings to ministering to family and online dating. In every break I would go visit someone's classroom because I couldn't sit in my chair any more.
Braeden texted a cute baby picture and Emma said that maybe a bay-guette is a baguette seasoned with Old Bay.
I also rearranged some chairs.
Will it make a difference? Is this, finally, the key to happiness and harmony?
I doubt it. But hope springs eternal.
After writing that I appreciated my siblings on Friday, I was surprised by one of them--unrelated to what I wrote. I don't think he reads my blog.
Enoch texted:
I didn't.
It was great. We talked about our children and Enoch's family's upcoming move to Portland. He showed us pictures of their new house and we showed him pictures of our new granddaughter.
Something about siblings makes you feel Understood with a capital U.
Saturday we did all of the regular Saturday things. Errands and tidying and taking care of the plants. Emma texted me a new app called I Love Hue. You unscramble colored tiles into the proper gradient and she's a lot better at it than I am and I take it personally. We watched Downton Abbey while we ate dinner. Being an empty nester means taking your plate wherever you want. We are rewatching the series to get ready for the movie.
We have goals.
After church, Adam went to Austin for a business trip. Emma came over for a vegetarian gluten free recipe I was auditioning for when Mark is home. It was good and not hard to make so something he can learn. Emma and I talked to each other and then to her brothers and Anna on the phone. She showed me her art and we talked about our jobs.
I love that she is happy.
Weekends are such a nice mix of productivity and slow. They are good for the soul.
I finished reading Beezus and Ramona to my class yesterday. They loved it and wanted me to start reading Ramona the Pest immediately.
In the last chapter of Beezus and Ramona, it is Beezus's birthday and Ramona ruins two cakes that her mother is making. Beezus is a conscientious child and is very troubled because she realizes that sometimes she doesn't love Ramona. Her beloved aunt is over for dinner (and saves the day with a bakery cake). When she sees her mom and Aunt Beatrice interact, she sees how much they love each other and it makes her feel bad that she doesn't feel the same way about Ramona.
Over dinner, the mom and Aunt Beatrice start talking about fights they had as children. Beezus is equal parts horrified and delighted. She realizes that it's OK if she doesn't always love Ramona all the time and that someday, they will be able to look back on the exasperating moments fondly.
I told my students that my siblings are some of my best friends now and I told them anecdotes about tying Enoch up with jumprope on the front porch when we were babysitting and Marianne and me pulling each other to the floor by our hair. They were equal parts horrified and delighted.
They told me stories about their siblings and how awful they were. I promised they would be friends some day.
I'm grateful for siblings. I'm grateful for my own siblings. I love how supported and understood they make me feel. I love that we pray for each other. I love that we love each other.
I am grateful my children love each other. They rally around each other and feel deep love and sympathy when one is in distress.
Families: what a wonderful support system they are. Beverly Cleary understood that and it resonates with children today even though Beezus and Ramona was written in 1955.
Some things are timeless.
Sunday I felt a little sick.
Monday I felt all the way sick.
Yesterday I stayed home from school. I haven't had a cold for years and frankly I feel betrayed by my Wellness Formula which is an herbal supplement I take that keeps me from getting sick.
At least it used to.
Before it failed me.
I haven't had a full blown cold for years and I haven't missed it.
Monday night/early Tuesday morning I was awake and I couldn't breathe because my head was so stuffy. I was sitting in my chair and found a show called Old Enough on Netflix. It was 2:00 AM and I was hopped up on NyQuil and it was a completely bizarre experience. It's a Japanese TV show about toddlers running errands by themselves. If you watch it, do it at 2:00 AM while you are hopped up on NyQuil. It enhances the experience.
Tuesday I considered things, productive things, I could do while I was home, but I did none of them. Nothing ruins a sick day like being sick. I took two naps and I took medicine and I drank Propel and ginger peach herbal tea. I decided I wanted to watch While You Were Sleeping which I haven't watched for years. It's not on Netflix, which disappointed me.
Then I remembered we have it on DVD. Remember DVDs?!? I opened the drawer and we have a lot of DVDs. I had forgotten about them.
I also talked to Braeden. He's good for my soul. And I talked to Marianne, which is also good for my soul.
Saturday afternoon, Adam said, "Would you mind if I go to a birthday party tonight for Kaden?"
That's a guy he works with, who is unmarried and they were apparently having a guys only birthday party. I didn't mind Adam going. I went to bed early.
Sunday morning, I asked Adam about the party and he was kind of vague about it. "Who was there? What did you do?"
"All the guys. We just hung out."
Whatever.
Later he told me that he had an Easter gift for me.
I said, "Is that a thing?"
He said yes.
He told me it was in the living room. I asked, "Is it a puppy?"
He said, "Close."
I asked, "Is it a bunny?"
He said, "Close."
I walked into the living room and Mark was sitting in the rocking chair and since he'd heard my question, he was making bunny ears above his head.
I burst into tears; I was that happy to see him.
Adam said, "There wasn't really a birthday party. I went to Logan to get Mark."
We went to church and I was happy to sit between Adam and Mark. I sang in the choir and ugly cried during He is Risen. I shouldn't be allowed to do such things.
We had Emma over for dinner and surprised her with Mark too. We ate ham (except not Emma) and deviled eggs and potatoes and carrots and rolls (except not Mark). We played games and ate jelly beans.
Adam took a video of Mark eating three super sour jelly beans (we got from Trader Joes) at once. It was an exciting time.
I was feeling a bit under the weather so Adam took Mark back to Logan.
I thought a lot about Easter. (Hence the ugly crying during He is Risen.) I am thankful for the love Jesus offers me. I'm grateful that He suffered all the sins and pains and sorrows of the world so He would know how we feel. I never have to feel truly alone. He could have stopped the goings on in an instant, but He was willing to die for us. He rose again on the third day and because of Him, we will be able to be with our loved ones again. It is all a lot to take in.
We watched a video as part of our Sunday School lesson and it showed the people chanting "Crucify Him!"
I was struck that He not only suffered for those who strive to follow Him and want to do good. He also suffered for those who chanted for Him to be crucified.
He loves us all.
We had a field trip to the aquarium on Friday. Preparing for it had all the energy of getting ready for a road trip with a toddler. We thought through all the eventualities and recalibrated when parent chaperones either did or didn't show up unexpectedly. (We had both.)
On the way to school, just as I was going up the hill on State Street in Lindon, there was a buckskin colt running down the middle of the road. It was confused and stressed out and bizarrely out of place. State Street is hopping that time of morning and hopefully the horse made his way home.
I tried to decide if a horse on the loose was a good omen or a bad omen, but I had no idea which.
Everyone was excited. We did manage a little math, but we left to load the buses about an hour after the bell rang. We loaded children and lunches and jackets onto a bus, three in a seat. It was...cozy...but also exciting for the kids who don't usually get to ride buses. When we got to the aquarium, we divided everyone into their designated chaperoned groups. The groups had been carefully crafted to put kids with their friends and also to isolate behavior problems. As the winner of the behavior problem jackpot this year, I had two groups of exactly one student each. One student was with their parent and another was with me. We mostly tagged along with another group and we had two diametrically opposed goals. His was to lose me and mine was to keep track of him. It was exhausting.
We left the aquarium with the exact number of children we entered with so we counted that a success.
We loaded back on the bus and Miriam had directions to a park where we were going to have lunch and let the kids play. The bus driver didn't know left from right. I am not one to judge since I am not good at left and right (I'm a port and starboard girl myself) but I am also not a bus driver. It was not a very endearing trait when Miriam kept saying turn left and she kept turning right.
We made it to the park and we unloaded all the boxes and bins from underneath the bus. We corralled everyone and made them eat and then clean up before they could play. Three teachers and two aides who came with us can be pretty bossy, especially when you give them each a whistle. I think the parents were a little taken aback but there were 68 of them and not a speck of garbage left behind after lunch.
The park was very fun. It was Wardle Park in Bluffdale. I had the fleeting thought that we should go back sometime as a family and then I remembered that my children are all adults, which is kind of rude of them.
It was also cold and slightly rainy but the kids were in heaven and we teachers kind of were too because our students were having so much fun.
 |
| Me, Miriam and Janelle. Miriam is over 6 feet tall and crouched over and I am standing up on a higher rock--I am definitely not taller than she is. Also, why am I the only one with crazy windy hair? |
 |
| That's Kylee pushing, who is one the favorite aides at the school. She didn't know until 5 minutes before we left that she was coming with us. We had a parent not show up and we enlisted her because if you ever need anything, she's the go to. Also, this picture stresses me out because that girl whose head is hanging down? She's one of mine! |
We loaded up the bus again and drove back to the school. I was near some of the other third graders while we were climbing on the bus and I told them I was ready to get back to the school and do some work. They looked at me very nervously and said, "I thought we were doing Fun Friday."
I said, "Well, we were, but I think school work sounds better."
I finally told them I was kidding because they were near tears. I found a seat in the back of the bus with some of my kids. They said, "We're having Fun Friday, right?"
I said, "I think we should do some school work. How about Word Power?" (They all hate Word Power which is our phonics curriculum we named Word Power to try to sell it as a fun time.)
They looked at me with a ha ha very funny expression and didn't believe me a bit.
It made me think maybe I lie to them a lot and they are used to it.
Fun Friday is about 20 minutes of free time we have on Friday afternoon as a reward for work done throughout the week. One of the classrooms is the "work room" and the students who didn't get their work done have to go there. Everyone else gets to either go outside or go to one of the other third grade classrooms.
We definitely didn't need to have Fun Friday when the whole day had been fun but 1) our students are mercenaries and earlier in the week, when they were doing Lexia, they said, "Wait, are even having Fun Friday?!?" and 2) we knew that we'd get back to school with less than 30 minutes left in the day and we'd all be tired and unproductive anyway.
So we had Fun Friday. Most of my students wanted to do a Kahoot. I found one on ecosystems that they weirdly wanted to do.
I realized that this is the time of year that is my favorite. My students and I know each other well. I can tease them about having to do school work when they know full well that they don't have to and they tease me by doing things like changing their profile pictures on their computers to Caillou because they know I can't stand Caillou. (If anyone whines I tell them our classroom is a Caillou free zone.)
Also, I'm reading them Beezus and Ramona and Beverly Cleary's magic works every time. Every day is Fun Friday when I'm reading to them and they beg me to read more.
Yesterday I had a headache--which I haven't had for awhile and it made up for lost time. I staggered through the day and had a whole to do list when I got home.
I talked to Adam on his way home. I told him I felt awful.
He said, "Listen to your body and rest."
I am grateful to have someone to tell me things like that and I'm grateful I listened. You don't always have to do all the things.
Yesterday a student's coat was starting to unzip from the bottom and she was in a panic. I remember being small and having my coat zipper deconstruct and how that felt like the end of days. I was able to work it down enough that she could step out of the coat. Then I fought with it while I was working on elapsed time with several students at my desk, trying to read upside down with my glasses that feel like I'm in a fun house (they are getting better though).
It was a whole scene.
One of my students who struggles in every subject reached her hand across the desk, indicating she wanted the coat. I handed it to her and she fixed it and handed it back to me along with a look of supreme satisfaction. No words were exchanged, just her awesomeness. You can never discount their talents and abilities.
Another one of them told me she liked my new glasses. I texted Emma about it, because this student is a fashion icon so her praise mattered.
My really tough child has ramped up his misbehavior in new and exciting ways. He makes defiance an art form. It was 28 degrees at lunch time (winter is not finished with us yet) and I reminded one of them to take his jacket. This student, the little angel, looked at me with his signature defiance and took his own jacket off. He looked at me like he challenged me to do anything about it.
I said, "It's cold outside. You will want your coat."
He said, "I won't."
And he didn't even knock on the door because he was cold (I was admittedly was kind of hoping he would, so I could say I told you so). He is a champion at defiance. More proof I shouldn't discount their various talents.
Another one who is equal parts naughty and so very cute and penitent when he gets caught, came to me concerned that his necklace was broken.
I said that if I had wire, I could fix it. I said, "I have some at home."
He solemnly handed me the necklace and said, "Take it home and I will tell my mom."
I fixed it, trying to channel my dad. And I also tried to treat it with the same reverence its owner does.
Some days, most days, I feel exhausted when it is all said and done. I feel trusted too though and I endeavor to live up to that. I am entrusted with children and zippers and necklaces. I try to make their days good ones. I try to keep the impatience out of my voice. (I don't always succeed at that one.)
And occasionally, I feel like I'm winning.
I wrote for them a sign I saw at a business recently.
"Check us out on Facebook"
We have prizes, contest's and more!
I said, "What is wrong with this sign? Why did it cause me pain?"
One of them said, "You don't need quotation marks."
Another said, "The contest doesn't own anything."
And another one said, "It caused you pain?"
I said, "Yes. And I'm glad you know better so you won't make signs like that."
If I don't blog for a day, Marianne worries. If I miss two days?
So, I'm back Marianne. Everything's fine.
Being back at school has been a wild ride. Life has been a bit of a wild ride. Just having a full mortal experience over here.
Adam and I had his and hers dentist appointments yesterday. I hate going to the dentist, but the hygienist asked me if I'd been on any trips lately and I told her about meeting our granddaughter and she exclaimed that I looked way too young to be a grandmother. I don't, but that was nice.
Also, our dentist is nice.
I just don't enjoy dentistry in general.
I also picked up my new glasses yesterday. They are transition lenses with a near, far and medium section and so far I feel like I'm going to fall over. Hopefully I will get used to them soon.
Adam kept saying, "You look so different."
I said, "Different good?"
He said, "You look so different."
So it wasn't a ringing endorsement.
I took a picture of me (and I only look derpy in selfies) to send to our children for validation.
Anna and Emma immediately texted back that they liked them because they are good girls.
And also, I can see. So that is worth something.
I am home and Adam is in Phoenix on a business trip and we both miss our granddaughter.
Today, here is what I am feeling grateful about:
We got to visit the Davis Davises. It was a wonderful time. They are good parents and good people and holding our little baby completed me.
It is spring break still and I have time. I have done some cleaning and organizing and taming of the chaos under the bathroom sink. Today I'm going to go to school and tackle my desk. It is a hard working and mostly efficient space, but it could be better and I have some ideas and time.
Emma is going to get Mark after work and they are coming for the weekend. I am looking forward to spending time with them.
I had a long conversation with Olivia yesterday. What would I do in this world without my sisters?
Our trees started blossoming while we were gone and I love blossoming trees. The daffodils are nodding their heads in the front yard and the sky is blue and it is supposed to be 70 today. Perfect.
We are loving this. We often look at each other with amazement. How did something so wonderful happen to two kids like us?
Also, who didn't see this coming? Adam is killing it as a grandpa so far. The stroller/carseat combo he bought needed an adapter to work together, which he purchased. But it wasn't clicking together quite right. Adam spent the afternoon figuring it out. He removed parts and reassembled others and it works and our little angel is safe. It reminded me of when we first got married and our dads could figure out anything and we...couldn't.He also figured out how to hang a storage situation that had fallen off the wall. I told Adam, "You're like our dads who knew everything."
He said, "I had to wait until I was a grandpa."
We babysat Her Royal Highness last night while Anna and Braeden went to dinner. Adam read her the books we bought her for Easter--we didn't want her waking up Easter morning thinking we'd forgotten her--while I held her.
Later, she was chilled out, lying on the couch next to me and Adam sat on the floor next to her and told her a story of The Three Bears with her in the starring role as Goldilocks. Except, unlike Goldilocks, she was so kind that the bears were friendly to her and didn't mind that she was in their house. She watched his face closely while he talked, hanging on every word.
If she ever reads my blog, that little girl should know that she is LOVED. We are besotted!
Well, Davis is a great place. The town is beautiful and I only love it more the longer we are here. I also love the campus. It feels like a garden and is crisscrossed with bike trails and students whizzing about on bikes.
When I was picking out a UC Davis Christmas ornament for Braeden and Anna, a lot of them had bikes on them and I didn't really know why.
Now I do.
It is a bicycle place.
I loved seeing the kids, almost none of them with helmets, most of them with beach cruiser bikes with wire baskets, hair streaming behind them, gliding among the tall trees. Hammocks are strung between the trees and students lounge there, reading. California dreamin'.
We walked Braeden to campus, and stopped a few times when we came across friends of theirs who wanted to see the baby. When we got to Braeden's building and stood outside his office with his name on the door, I vacillated between mama pride and grandma pride. I loved meeting his friends and seeing how much they all genuinely liked each other. They were excited to meet Her Royal Highness and it all made me very happy.
We walked back to their apartment and left Anna to rest, while Adam and I headed out, baby in tow, on our first grandparent outing. We drove to Woodland and Adam showed me around where Braeden and Anna briefly lived there. We struck out into the countryside because Adam is Adam and has never met a road he doesn't want to explore. It was beautiful farmland that reminded me of the Loire Valley in France. I guess I was there the same time of year so it makes sense. We went to Costco and bought some Easter gifts for our little cherub--clothes and Sandra Boynton board books. Adam also selected a Vornado fan for their apartment and I grabbed a box of diapers.
Being a grandparent is fun.
Being a grandma is definitely living up to the hype. Her parents are internet shy, so you'll have to believe me on this one, but she is BEAUTIFUL. I love everything from her wispy hair to her long toes. She definitely doesn't have my babies' blocky feet but she does have my lop ear. Her eyes are sort of navy blue like Braeden's were at that age and she has long delicate fingers. She hardly cries (because she's, you know, perfect) and I'm kind of hogging her. Braeden said, "Maybe you should give Dad a chance to hold her..."
Adam just smiled at me and said it was OK. (And I have shared her. A little.)
He did get to push the stroller when we went on a walk in the arboretum. He went off road a little because if you give him a Subaru or stroller with adventurous capabilities, he will test them both.
Adam and I enjoyed a little birthday party breakfast with my family on Saturday morning, hosted by Olivia. We went around the table saying what we loved about my mom, the birthday girl, and it was basically a cry fest because we are criers and we love my mom. A lot.
We also enjoyed General Conference and drank it up like the quenching refreshment that it is. I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the hope and peace it brings to me. I know we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and I can't stop thinking about what I learned in Relief Society recently. He has a custom curriculum for each of us. He is less concerned about the ease of our lives. He wants us back and He gives us opportunities to learn and struggle and grow.
When our little baby is squirming, face adorably contorted while she cries plaintively for some unmet need, I find myself calmly soothing her, knowing that she's OK and that we all love her and are there for her and that (most importantly) Anna is nearby. I wonder if God feels the same way when we are in trouble.
It's all right, little one. You're going to be OK. Help is here.
Today is the last day before spring break! I am happy about it. Yesterday all during lunch recess, one of my students knocked on the door because he wanted his gloves and another student stared morosely at me through the window because he wanted his jacked until I closed my blinds. We're not supposed to let them come back into the school during lunch recess and I remind them multiple times to take their coats. If it's bitterly cold, I'll let them sneak back in occasionally, but it was in the 50s and no one was suffering too much. All recess, with the incessant knocking, I had two words in my brain. Spring break.
We are SO excited to meet our little one. Adam and I are going to visit the Davises of Davis, the Davis Davises. A baby so adorable they named a whole town after her.
I think that's the correct order of things.
I'm looking forward to time with Adam and listening to general conference and I love road trips in general.
Life is good and I am grateful.
