I left school in a ratty mood on Friday. I had created a wrapped box for my students with seven ribbons tied around it. Every time we finished a test, we cut a ribbon. They were excited to know what was inside. Several of them asked me if I knew what was inside.
Do they know how the world works? I wrapped it....
We cut the last ribbon and their prize was that they could either choose Takis or Twinkies (for the white kids for whom the Takis are too spicy). Most of them were thrilled. A few of the boys complained that they had been "scammed" and "gypped." I don't know what they were thinking would be inside the shoebox sized box. A new car for everyone?
It bugged me though. I don't have to give them anything, and I told them that. I said, "Buying you treats is not part of my job and you don't have to have one if you don't want one."
They looked chagrined and took a package of Takis. Some of the girls, who are more socially aware, thanked me in an exaggerated fashion, then gave those boys a side eye.
Their behavior was pretty wild too. We practiced for our animal showcase. The parents are coming today to see their projects and we had them show their projects to the other third grade classes. It was chaotic. The past few years I have done the same fun activities the last week of school. This year I also have a stack of worksheets because this group can't really handle much unstructured time. If they lose it, we'll just do worksheets.
I had gone to school early several times in the week so that I could leave early Friday. I went home and we finished packing up and hit the road for Starr Valley. I think by the time we hit the dirt road, my shoulders had fully relaxed. Adam emptied the mouse trap (I am grateful for him!) and Mark immediately started vacuuming flies although there weren't too many. I wiped off the counter and put stuff away and took the dust-covers off the furniture. Soon enough we were in good shape. We went over to visit my dad. He shaved his mustache to work at the temple and he looks more like his brothers without it. We enjoyed visiting him and I missed my mom.
Saturday morning Hannah and I took a walk. (I would have tried to have Olivia join us, but she was at a track meet.) While I was tying my shoes, Hannah said, "Look at those tiny petite shoes! You are so little!"
Only one of my Dahl cousins would think that my size 9 shoes are tiny and petite.
We started walking and talking and soon enough we were both crying. We talked about grief and life and things we have learned in the past year. Losing her daughter, Norah, last October has changed Hannah. She was always my beautiful and stellar cousin. Now she is more wise and compassionate and has been refined into someone else. I will think about some of the things she told me she's learning for a long time. When we got back to our house, we sat down inside and visited. She wanted to share something on her phone but didn't have her reading glasses. I gave her mine, but they are progressive lenses and it made it worse. I went and got Adam's glasses off his nightstand and they worked.
I still marvel that we used to play in the orchard and sit on Olivia's bed (Olivia, Britta, Hannah and me) and draw page after page of girls in fancy dresses.
Now we need reading glasses.
I used my Tineco mop (with the replaced part so it no longer leaks) and cleaned the floors. It is an amazing machine and I couldn't be more happy about it! Adam and Mark worked outside. My dad came over for lunch. He drove his excavator over. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I thought you might want to drive it."
Ha ha.
He had brought it over for a project though and wanted to leave it there, so we gave him a ride home. First, after eating and visiting a bit, we went to the cemetery. We saw my mom's grave and Norah's, then my grandma and grandpa's grave as well as my cousin Amanda.
Here my dad was telling us some story and Mark snapped a picture. That sky!
When we were dropping my dad off, I decided I wanted to go and talk to him more. I did and had a good talk and a good cry. I told him that it is a good thing I don't have an eye condition that is worsened by crying....
I am grateful to have my dad. He is wise and gentle and a good listener.
He took me back home and I was emotionally spent, but better after all the crying. I think I've been on autopilot a lot, just getting through the days. It's good to have a cleansing cry every once in a while and confront whatever is beneath the surface.
A piece of Adam's sprinkler system broke off inside another piece and he thought he was going to have to go to town and buy a new part. We took it over to my dad and of course my dad could fix it.
We had dinner and then I looked around longingly at the little house and declared I didn't want to leave. It is the same every time.
Sunday we woke up to falling snow. I took a picture out the kitchen window.
Adam braved the elements and took a picture outside from the exact view as his sunset picture from 12 hours earlier.
In this chaotic weather year, we had a winter without nearly enough snow, it got warm, then cold and the blossoms froze, then it was blazing hot, everything's dry too soon and then snow on May 17.
We went to church (I brought sandals). I finally saw Olivia at church. I asked her what she was doing during the second hour. She said, "Sunday School?" I said I thought maybe we could visit. She said, "I guess we could have a presidency meeting."
Adam and Mark went to Sunday School. After, Adam said, "Your dad asked where you were."
I said, "And you ratted me out?"
When I hugged my dad good-bye he asked me if we had everything decided in our presidency meeting. I said, "Yes, it was very productive."
We headed back to Utah, stopping in Salt Lake to briefly visit Emma. Mostly we were all cold and tired and happy to get home.
