Grateful

 Another day of professional development is in the books.  This time I was smart enough to take my computer and I worked on the recess schedule and various other schedules on the sly (I don't know if it was truly on the sly).

It is good training for people who haven't taught the curriculum before and painful for those of us that have.

That is all.

I don't know if I'll blog tomorrow.  I have a leadership retreat today and tomorrow and it is overnight and I don't know what my time will be like.

One thing I've been thinking about all week and it can count for my grateful Friday post is that Adam and I visited Marie Louise and Kevin this week.  He's had such a hard time lately, just one health challenge after another.

I was blown away by their faith and courage in the face of adversity.  It was an inspiration to me.  It is pretty incredible what people can become as a result of trials if they are able to let them strengthen them.  It reminds me of the way that muscles tear before they get stronger.

I think it is the same with every facet of our lives.  We have to tear and feel broken before we truly get stronger.

Another thing I'm grateful about are my friends.  It has been way more palatable to be at my meetings with my friends.  Alissa plunked a cup of chocolates on the table.  I didn't end up eating any, but it was a comfort knowing they were there.  We gave each other side eye I'm so bored looks and chatted happily through our lunch and breaks.

Maren was with us Tuesday, but on Wednesday she wasn't.   She has been to Denmark a few times and loved it so I asked her what I shouldn't miss.

Wednesday she texted me a lengthy, information rich text of all the things she liked most.  This was maybe the best part of it: 

Oh! And my other favorite thing: there are silent cars on the trains. No talking no music. It's so quiet. The Danes are my people

And Maren is my people. 

 

Ugh

 The hardest part about being a teacher is not unruly children, it isn't lesson planning, it isn't keeping their attention, it isn't recess duty in January and it isn't settling arguments, girl drama or patching up kids after recess mishaps.

The hardest part about being a teacher is PD days.

The life force slowly drains away while I try to sit in a chair all day.  The presenter assumes I can't read nor have I ever been a teacher before.

At least I had my team to give meaningful just-kill-me-now looks to.

Yesterday's presenter was from the publishing company of our literacy curriculum.  Today is from the district.

I have all my fingers crossed it will be more engaging.

Later, I took a walk with Kim.  That was a redeeming part of the day.  I enjoy the scenery and company and not sitting in a chair.

During and after dinner, Adam and Mark and I had a rousing discussion about which Disney movies are best.  We're thinking of creating a bracket. 

This is serious business and of course I will record out findings for posterity if we pursue the endeavor.

Memorial Day

If Memorial Day were a competitive sport, here are my stats.

I saw the graves of:

2 grandparents

8 great grandparents

12 great great grandparents

12 great great great grandparents

8-9 great great great great grandparents (I carried around a paper all day with the info--color coded--and now I can't find it)

There should have been 10 great greats, but Neil Livingston Gardner Jr. and Alfreda Blanche Huffaker proved illusive.  We had found their headstones previously, but couldn't find them again.

We'll get them next year.

I saw alive people also.  I foolishly didn't take a picture and so far have not been able to obtain anyone else's. (I even went to Facebook and I dislike going to Facebook!)

I love Memorial Day because it reminds me of my grandma and the tradition of going to cemeteries that mattered so much to her.  It also reminds me of my place in the world.

You can't visit all those graves in one day and not feel connected and rooted.  I love being there with my mom and sisters especially because we all hold different facets of the stories and relationships in our heads and we retell them to each other to remember.

I love calling my children over and saying, "Now listen to this story."

I love turning our hearts to our fathers (and mothers).

Weekend

It's been a good weekend.  

Friday was the official last day of school and emotions were a little high.  I had about ten kids not show up, which seems reasonable since they stay at school for such a short time.  I was letting them play games and within 5 minutes, two were crying.  One because he had to draw 4 in UNO and one because the other girls she was playing with wouldn't play by her made up rules.

I pulled the plug on game playing and turned on Ratatouille.  One of my students had given me a tub of peanut M&Ms and I scooped up little cups of them for each student and turned off the lights.

Keep them distracted, that was the order of the day.

6th graders kept streaming in to have me sign their memory books or t-shirts.  My former students!  We'd hug and I'd tell them the junior high was so lucky to get them.  Some of my 3rd graders were lingering around me, not super interested in the movie, and they'd demand to know who I was hugging or talking to.  I would say, "They were one of my favorites!"

And in most cases, they were.

The last ten minutes of school we had the 6th grade clap out.  Noemi, who has been at Bonneville for 16 years, was leading the parade since she is leaving.  She was crying and several 6th graders were crying, so I teared up (a little).  The 6th grade clap out gets me; some of them are my former students.

I was wiping my tears as we walked back into my room.  My students hugged me and said, "It's OK!  We cried yesterday!"  I told them we cried because we loved the school and the people here.  The bell rang and we hugged some more and some of them ran out the door and some of them stuck around for a few minutes.  Some moms stopped by to get pictures of me with their students.  

When everyone left, I checked in with my team and we started working on a project for next year.  While we were working, Matt stopped by and said, "You know school is over, right?"

My team and I were basically all built the same.  We like to work ahead and while we have different strengths and weaknesses, we pull together pretty well.

We had our lunch and celebration and it was a good time.  There was a staff slideshow and awards and farewell gifts.

I told Adam that I am not ready to retire.  I always feel so sad for the people who are leaving.

Saturday we cleaned the garage.

So that was exciting.

Adam was blowing it out at the end and I was inside to avoid all the dust.  He came in and said, "I have a job for you.  We need a new rug because the other one is falling apart."

I said, "Ooooh."

And he said, "I knew that would make you happy."

I like buying rugs, even if they are sort of uninteresting garage rugs.

I found one on Amazon, ordered it, then promptly forgot the whole thing.

Later I got this email:

  My immediate thought was, I didn't order a front door!  Did I?

Then I realized it was a sturdy front door mat.

So I'm happy to report I didn't have a front door arriving by 10 PM.

After church Marie Louise came over and we worked on Family History and mostly visited.  She has some really tough family health things going on right now and we chatted about that a little, but she also is very British and as such has a defiant keep calm and carry on personality.  

There is so much to admire about her!

We had our kids over for Sunday dinner and it was the perfect abundant summer Sunday dinner I love.  We had steak and corn on the cob and green beans and kiwi fruit and potatoes.  Then we took a walk.

May in Utah County is hard to beat.  It lulls us into a sense of loving the sunshine before July tries to kill us.

I'm enjoying May though!

About 9:00, I was wrapping up some Family History I was doing in preparation for the next time I meet with Marie Louise and Emma called.  She had tried her dad, but I guess Adam's ringer was off.

She had had a tire blowout.

Adam immediately said he would come and he and Mark headed out into the night.

Like I told Adam, as someone who could always call her dad for help, I appreciate that our kids can do the same.

What a wonderful invention dads (and brothers) were!

This is me, ready for Memorial Day.

I bought them at my mom's request, ten pots of mums.  I remember my grandma cutting peonies and irises from her yard for Memorial Day.  She would put them in gallon cans and anchor them into the grass with a bent hanger.  

How I love my grandma!  I love Memorial Day because of her.  It mattered to her so it matters to me.

Grateful Friday

 I've got plenty to be grateful for....

(I think Olivia will know what movie that is from and I'm grateful for that.)

I'm grateful for Memorial Day.  I love it and I am looking forward to Monday.

I'm grateful that Adam and I are finally, in baby steps, getting our trip all finalized.  I am so looking forward to spending more time with Adam this summer.

Speaking of Adam, I'm grateful that his default posture is always generosity.  We had a new washer and dryer delivered yesterday and it pained him to just have the old ones hauled away.  He tried to figure out if there was anyone who could use them.

I pointed out that 1) the dryer has died and 2) they are 15 years old and so I'm sure the washing machine is right behind the dryer for dying.

Still.  I'm grateful he is generous.

I'm so grateful to be a teacher.

As much as I like it, I still can't believe yesterday happened.  It was a scene.

First, one of my cute girls brought me a little gift bag.  It had a few things in it and I thought I'd seen all of it and she said, "There's something else."

I dug inside and found a tiny magnet.  On it was a tiny violin.  It was the best possible present one of my students could give me.  I put it next to my pouty baby picture that I have on my wall leftover from when we did a contest to see who could name the teacher based on their baby picture back in February.

When they whined about something (usually phonics) I would rub my index finger and thumb together and tell them it was the tiniest violin in the world playing their sad, sad song.  Sometimes I'd put the pouty picture in front of my face for emphasis.

It almost always made them laugh.

Braeden said he is trauma bonded with my students now over the tiniest violin thing.

My students had their memory books signed and then I settled everyone down with a coloring page and I gave myself 30 minutes to finish the book I was reading them.  I had 41 pages to go.

I stopped once for a drink, but I was a woman on a mission.  I did it!  They clapped for me upon completion.

It was a book from the "I Survived" series about the Black Death.  Not exactly cheerful content but one of my students had gifted me with the book and wanted me to read it aloud.  And I like the "I Survived" series.

After the book, I gave them their awards and they cheered for each other.  It was a happy time.

Narrator:  Little did Mrs. Davis know what was around the corner.

The next thing on the agenda was the slideshow.  I make a slideshow every year of pictures from the year.  I love to see the memorable pictures and to also see how much the students have grown up in a year.

One of my girls started crying afterward.

That spiraled into Salem Witch Trials hysteria meets girls' camp testimony meeting (if you know you know).  A full two thirds of my class started crying.  And not just quiet tears.  It was sobbing.  They were supposed to be cleaning out their desks and one boy was just sitting on the floor next to his desk, shoulders shaking.  The girl who started the crying would hold up one artifact at a time from her desk and point to it emotionally and show it to me and just weep.

The more of them that started crying, the more I thought, do something, but I didn't know what to do.  I walked around hugging kids, but it didn't help. 

I had everyone sit on the rug.  I told them that it was OK to feel big emotions and that it was OK to cry and that it was OK not to cry (because a few of them had super confused looks on their faces that reflected my own feelings of what is actually happening right now?!?)

I told them that change is hard but they were at a doorway.  They were leaving one room, but walking into a new room that they would love. I said, "4th grade will be great!"

The little boy who had been sitting on the floor said emphatically through his tears, "But I love you!  Seeing you made my day every day.  I've had the best year of all my nine years."  Then he just sobbed some more.

Oh boy.

I said, "You can come back and visit me."

A girl wailed, "I don't know where you live!"

I said, "No, I mean you can come back and visit me here.  In my classroom."

I had them all stand in a circle and I said I was the middle of the cinnamon roll and we were going to roll up for a big hug.  I said, in an effort to make them laugh, "No one can die in this cinnamon roll, so don't squish anyone."  They got a little distracted by the maneuvers of the cinnamon roll and then we squeezed a big hug and they started crying again.

I was so far out of my depth.

I turned off the lights and got Sam, who is our sloth light with changing colors, and had them breathe in rhythm of the changing colors.  It didn't help.

We went to lunch.  I was hoping that fresh air and a change of scene would distract them.

Except they were contagious.

Miriam and Alissa both had sobbing girls after they interacted with my class.  I sent the school counselor out to recess and saw her out my window talking to a gaggle of crying children.

After recess, my class came back in and most of them were better.  One of them said, "We were contagious."

I teased them, "Are you the Black Death?"

Several of them said yes.

Everyone was OK by then except two girls.  I didn't want it all to ignite again so I flagged down Katie (our community outreach person who is basically the Relief Society president of the school) in the hall and she took them for a walk and they came back later with popsicles.

We finished up the last of the cleaning and then I put on a movie.  

Usually I show the slideshow again on the very last day because they love it, but I will not show it today.

We may just watch the rest of the movie.  We need to dull those emotions!

Third grade was the absolute talk of the town after school.  I overheard teachers, "Did you hear what happened in third grade today?"

I don't flatter myself that they are actually or will ever be bereft without me.  It is just a lot for their sweet hearts to process.  Things are changing and if someone else is crying, that just opens the floodgates.

What I am grateful for is that for nine months of their lives, I got to be their teacher.  It feels like such an honor.  I loved being the person they said, "Guess what Teacher?" to in the morning and then told me outlandish rambling stories.  I loved being the one to tell them how to spell a word when they were writing and to explain what something meant that they read.  I loved being the one who got to see realization dawn on their faces during math time.  I loved being the recipient of their love.  I loved reading to them and I loved making them laugh.

When I was in first grade and I loved my teacher, Mrs. Jund, I thought, I want to be a teacher someday.

Six year old Thelma was not wrong.

The last week of school

 I had a dream that my cousin Melanie, who isn't a hairdresser, was doing her hairdresser business in our house.

So her customers and their children were here and the children were getting into everything.

My grandma (who would've been 98 yesterday--Happy Birthday in heaven, Grandma!) came and Adam came with Stella's friend who had stayed with us before.  He had picked her up at the airport because she was back for a visit.  It was all very chaotic and I went to go take a nap. (Like you do when you have a houseful of guests?)

I woke up from my nap within a dream and there were 2nd graders surrounding my bed and they wouldn't leave. 

Then there was a tornado warning and everyone had to stay put and I needed to feed all these people--about 50 of them by then--dinner and I just had this small thing planned so I didn't know what I was going to do.

I woke up and thought, yep, that about sums up the last week of school.

I wore my 3rd Grade Rocks t-shirt yesterday and I stopped at the walk-in clinic after school because I have eczema on my hands that I think is being exacerbated by all the sorting papers and cleaning I have been doing at school. (Maybe I need workers comp for that $5 tube of eczema cream.)

A patient was leaving and she saw my t-shirt.  She said, "You are wearing a shirt that says 3rd Grade Rocks on the last day of school?  You must really like your job!  Most teachers are exhausted by this time."

I said, "Well, the last day is Friday, but I do like my job.  And I am exhausted."

Field Day

Before field day began, I taught my class a multiplication game using dice.  It was me against them (which is a good way for them to learn the game rather than me just explain the rules.  Ask me how I know...). They won.

And they were very sassy about it.

It seemed like the field days of my youth where I lost every race.

But field day is different now!  They go to stations and play games.  I had an uneven number of students so I was partners with one girl.  We were the last group going strong with the water balloon toss.  We just kept going and going and my student said, "I think we are the world champions at this!  We are crushing this!"

The aide running the station had us back away from each other and my partner dropped the balloon, it popped and our reign as world champion water balloon tossers came to an end.

I truly think it's the most successful I've ever been at field day.  I am as indoorsy as I am unathletic.

As it warmed up, my students began shedding their jackets.  I had told them ahead of time that I would not be carrying anything for them.

That doesn't matter.

A girl came up to me and held out her jacket for me to take.  She didn't even say anything.

I said, "I'm not holding your jacket.  I'm not your mother."

Another girl reminded me, "But you are a mother."  

I said, "True.  I wouldn't hold my kids' jackets either."

Two of the girls said, smugly, "My mom would hold my jacket."

I told them they were very lucky to have their mothers instead of me.  (Also later the same girl came up to me and demanded, "Where's my jacket?"  I said, "Remember how I said I wouldn't carry it?"  She said, "But I don't have it."  I told her to go look for it.)

At the nine square station, someone said, "Don't hit it to her!  You'll get out!"  They were meaning don't hit it to my most athletic girl.

I didn't say it, but I wondered if the strategy was to indeed hit it to the most athletic one so that you could get out.

That may or may not have been my best dodge ball strategy in elementary school.  Cary King and Tommy Morrow could catch anything, even my feebly thrown balls.  Then I happily got to be out.

Work smarter, not harder.

We made it through all ten stations of field day and we were tired.  Happily it was lunchtime.

While everyone was lining up, one boy laid his head on his desk and cried huge gulping sobs.  I sent everyone to lunch, crossing my fingers they would behave civilly down the hall and was finally able to ascertain the trouble. 

He'd lost his watch.

I told him I would help him find it, but that he should go to lunch so he didn't miss out on eating.

I searched for ten minutes and finally found it.

I found him eating lunch and said, "Is this yours?"

He said, "Yep," and casually took it from me.

You are most welcome.  It was my absolute pleasure....

They either give me cards and drawings saying I'm the best teacher ever or they are completely ungrateful and entitled.  There is no middle ground.

Later in the afternoon, we had the teachers vs. 6th graders kickball game.  This particular group of 6th graders has been unruly and disrespectful at times to their brand new soft spoken teachers.  

So the rest of the teachers were ready to trounce them and trounce them they did.

It's always nice to knock 6th graders down a peg to prepare them for 7th grade.

Since it's neither my first nor even second rodeo, I took a chair and sat in the shade.  I don't not participate in kickball because I'm old.  I've always been this way.  There wasn't an age where I wanted to play kickball.  Just now no one can make me.

I held Alissa's keys and phone and told children to put sticks down and instructed one of my students to put her tooth in her pocket when she lost it.  (They're always so flummoxed when they lose a tooth and they hold it out to me like I'm going to do something with it.)

At one point an errant ball came out of bounds right to me and I caught it and threw it back to the teacher who was playing first base.

All the teachers and Matt cheered wildly for me.

So I am going to call it a very successful field day.

That gym with those children

 Yesterday was Camp Day, which is a third grade tradition that I started (because I like to camp so much????). 

We have the classes rotate between teachers.  I have a team of overachievers.  Alissa had tents set up in her classroom and they played board games.  Miriam had tents set up in her classroom and they toasted actual s'mores.

I did not have tents set up.

We did an art project and played games (I can't emphasize enough how much they love Down by The Banks right now) and I read them the Berenstain Bears Bear Scouts.  I love surprising them with old books like that.  At first they aren't super interested because the book looks old and babyish, but then I start reading and they get completely invested.

Camp Day was fun, but also chaotic.  I would much rather be a teacher than a camp counselor.  The last week of school feels more like a camp counselor (today is field day), but at least I'm a camp counselor with kids I love.

At the end of the day yesterday we had an assembly to celebrate the growth of the multilingual learners.  There were about 70 of them and they walked into the gym with the rest of the school cheering.  Each student was waving a flag of the country where they are from (I provided a bunch of the flags from my stash of flags we use for our cultural program). Their parents were there and I did my VERY best not to cry.  

It just got me.

Those brave children go to school in a second language and also in a lot of cases help their parents navigate the new language!  It's amazing.

At my local elementary school, the principal was going to throw candy off the roof if they reached $10,000 in their fundraiser.  I can't imagine our school able to raise 1/10 of that amount.

Still.

Keep your $10,000 and give me that gym yesterday filled with those children.

They had each teacher come up and present certificates to their classes.  One of my students (who I will call J) didn't have a certificate.  I asked Maren, who was in charge, "What about J?"  She told me that he had passed WIDA (the intensive English test they have to take) so she had a different certificate for him.

After I was finished, I returned to my class and they were just as concerned as I was.  "What about J?"  "J didn't get one!"  I told them to just wait.

Then Maren called up all the students who had passed WIDA and the crowd went wild.  J's name was called, but he didn't hear it so he sat on the stage with the rest of the kids, the only one without a certificate.

As soon as they were done, I abandoned my class, made a beeline for the stage and told him to go get his certificate.  He said, "She didn't call my name."

I said, "She did!  You just didn't hear."

A big smile spread on his face and he went to get his paper.

I can't celebrate these kids enough!

Weekend

Friday we had a Chick-fil-A balloon assembly!  It was very exciting.

Also, it was effective.  I wanted Chick-fil-A afterward.

My students are equal measure maddening and sweet.  We finished testing and they did pretty well.  We had art day and some of them freaked out because it wasn't the regular schedule.  Also, why did they have to learn about artists?  They wanted to do actual art. I have a minuscule tolerance for whining this late in the school year and I told them if anyone else complained we would do phonics.

That got everyone in line very quickly. And we did do actual art.  Patience young ones!

One of my students made me this (not part of art day) and I was delighted by the level of detail he added.  He kept looking over at me while he was drawing it.  I guess so he could nail that yellow skin tone....

Caroline, my fifth grade teacher friend told me she was SO excited that I was on the leadership team because we were going to have FUN at the leadership retreat.

I said, "I think you think I'm more fun than I actually am.  I am almost always the least fun person in the room."

She said, "There will be kicks and giggles."

She said it kind of ominously.

I'll try my best.

I got my literacy curriculum and math curriculum delivered and I did the most rational thing I could think of and texted Mark to see if he'd come and help me after school.

We unboxed everything and got it all stowed away.  

Adam went to Father and Son camp sans son on Friday night because Mark had plans with his friends.  He didn't stay the night and Mark and Adam went to the breakfast together Saturday morning.  Also on Saturday morning, I was surprised by a new post on Emma's seldomly posted on blog.  She wrote a poem.  About me.

Sometimes motherhood kicks you in the teeth and sometimes your daughter writes a poem about you.

She sees me.

That matters.

And I wish that girl would write every day because I love every word she writes.

Also on Saturday the Porter's washing machine broke (Nola texted me a video.  It sounded like really bad bagpipes, being played by a sickly cow) and our dryer broke.

Maybe we should do laundry in the middle of the street together with our still working appliances.

Adam and I watched an episode of Miss Austin Saturday night on PBS.  Most Regency era movies show warm, well lit and elegant rooms.  This is a little gloomy and it looks like it just rained or it is about to rain and everyone seems slightly cold.  It was probably more like that.

No wonder everyone was worried about dying when they were caught out in the rain.

I am enjoying Miss Austin though.

I led the singing in Primary.  I still feel like I am out of my depth, but it is fun.  And the fastest 20 minutes of my life!

We ate dinner very early because Adam had to go to seminary graduation at 5:00.  Emma and Mark roped me into playing Monopoly with them.  (It is so long!)  They refused to play the made up rules my sisters and I played with for years and years.  Also, I didn't get the railroads, which was unfeeling of them.  We played with an extra dice and the extra dice had all these ways to change things up, but Mark could keep track of all of that.

It was fun, but I wasn't sad when Adam came home and I said I was done playing.  We had my new favorite GF dessert.  It is fresh berries, a spoon of lemon curd (I just get a spoonful with everyone's individual spoon and plunk it on the berries) and some very minimally sweetened whipped cream.  So good!  

Now I'm off to my last week of school with students!  

Grateful Friday

 I have a One Line a Day journal--the kind where you write a sentence every day for five years and all of the May 15ths, for example, are on the same page.

Last year on May 15, I was deep into freak out mode and I feel like I already had my main freak out about the school year ending, so hey.  I'm ahead of schedule.

That's something to be grateful about.

My classroom is reasonably in order.

I have next week reasonably in hand.

It's all working (especially if I can get the dawdlers to finish their last test today).

I'm grateful to have Mark home.  Being a mother stretches and teaches me and is constantly changing and presenting new challenges.

It is also wonderful.

I love that kid.

Really tired

 We are finishing up testing. I'm simultaneously cleaning my classroom and still teaching. I'm planning for next year and the next five minutes.  Since we aren't doing our regular curriculum, there's time to fill in between the big things.

For someone who loves routine, it's a lot.

I am already missing my students.  I have loved having them in my class.  Yesterday was the fifth grade wax museum.  I made sure to visit my former students and two of them hugged me.  

I love my students forever.

Miriam and I have traded spots and I'm on the leadership team next year.  I had my first meeting yesterday.  It was quiet and short.

Matt said, "I think we're all really tired."

He's not wrong.

I slept enthusiastically and long last night and I'm feeling ready to conquer another day.  I may even have the time and energy to go through the drawers in my cabinet and get rid of stuff I don't use.

Challenge accepted

 When we lived in Washington, I moved furniture constantly.  (I think I needed sunshine and blamed the furniture placement.) 

My boys (and their friends) would tell me it wouldn't work and why don't you just leave it where it is?  I would say, "Grab a corner of that couch.  We're moving it."

Multiple times I have found furniture on the side of the road or a giveaway from someone and Adam asks me things like, "But where are you going to put it?" and "I don't think that will work."

And I have said watch me.

Yesterday Matt and Riley were in my classroom picking up our old reading curriculum to make room for our new reading curriculum.  

My class was at computers so I chatted with them.  The topic of my new kiva came up and Matt said, "Where are you going to put it?"

Riley said, "Your classroom is going to go from clean and organized to a mess."

Like I told my family, I am fueled by doubt when it comes to furniture.  

When they were leaving, Matt said, "By the way, Thelma.  Your math scores* are looking really good."

I said, "Wait until you see my math scores after I have that kiva in here."

*Before I'm too self congratulatory, it is in no way all the math scores.  It's like thinking a candidate is winning by a landslide in a state where the metropolitan areas haven't been counted yet.

Weekend

Sunday night I wearily told Adam, "I need a weekend."

We had a good time though.

First, we survived Thelma and Adam's moment of high anxiety with the resurfacing of our road.  I parked at the church after school and Adam and I went from there.  I realized that in our haste we didn't bring some of the food I was planning, but we also got on the road earlier than expected because of our haste.

So that was good.

Geri just beat us to our house and it was nice to have her there.  We showed her around and there were no mice, which is always a bonus!

She helped us get set up, vacuuming and making beds.  It's always a process!  After that, we enjoyed the evening visiting with her.

Saturday was mainly the bridal shower.  I went outside and cut apple blossom branches and daffodils (the tulips were mostly spent).  Then I went borrowing to the neighbors and got some flowers from my dad.  Adam went to town with us and I kept telling him that he didn't have to and I don't know what I was thinking, because I could not have done it without him.

Olivia was on a chair, Desi was rushing to the kitchen, Adam was on a ladder, I was directing traffic.  (I can't remember the name of the lady in the hat--she is in the Wells Ward.)

The party was in the primary room so we had bonus Doctrine and Covenants decor!

Carolina made a delicious and beautiful cake.

my vases had dripped on the table....

Marianne was the amazing ringmaster.  She's not the older sister we deserve, but I'm so glad she's the older sister we have!  Also, she's cute.

Speaking of cute, here's the happy couple (and all these bridal shower pictures are thanks to Geri).

And also, sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters....

After the shower we visited with my parents for a little while, then went home and Adam and Mark worked outside and Geri and Emma and I played cards.

We went out and helped a little, loading branches onto a little trailer that Adam hauled away with the lawn mower pulling it.  I think he is realizing all of his agrarian dreams.

We had dinner and went over to my parents' again to visit with everyone.

Sunday was a nice Mother's Day.  My children gifted me with books and Adam gifted me with tickets to The Ruth.  I felt loved.  

Carolina spoke in church as a farewell before her mission and did a wonderful job.  I was happy to have Adam on one side of me and my cousin Hannah on the other side of me during sacrament meeting.  

At one point, Hannah leaned over to me and asked, "Why did we even wear make-up?!?"

We were both just crying. Not only were we lifted by Carolina's talk, but then she and Hyrum and Lili and Marcos sang.  So good.

We took a few pictures before we changed out of church clothes.

I took the first one:

Then Mark took a selfie:

Then Mark used the timer:

We went over to Marianne's for a delicious lunch and I enjoyed visiting.  My mom gifted us with nice trays and dishtowels and when we were drawing for the gifts (my mom is always fair!), I said, "Wait, are some of the gifts better than others?"

Hannah started laughing.  She said, "Of course this is how you're acting when your mother is trying to do something nice for you.  It never ends!"

True.  Motherhood is not for the faint of heart!

Adam got out one of his kites and Geri took some pictures of kids flying.  (I'm grateful that other people remember to take pictures and are then generous with them.)

Liliana, Carolina, Maisie (Hannah's daughter), Emma and Mark

Geri had planned to come to Utah and stay with us, but unfortunately one of her brothers passed away over the weekend and she headed for home from Starr Valley.

Adam's uncle Ed was such a good man.  He's part of the reason our Mark has the middle name Edward.  It's a good Neilan family name.  I love how close Geri is with her siblings.  I remember when Linn passed away and her brothers came to her house and just sat around the table with her in solidarity.  To me it was a strong message of quiet love and support that I will always remember.

I married into a great family.

***

Yesterday I was super tired.  We had our field trip to the aquarium and I survived it and everyone came back the same number of children we left with.  

School is winding down!  I still have so much to do (grades are due Friday!), but one way or another, it will all get finished because school will end.

Grateful Friday

 I freaked out last night and I'm grateful that Mark talked me down and then Adam talked me down some more.  

I need them in my life.

School is a lot.  Everything is a lot.  Everything is too much.

I had activity days waiting for me in my driveway when I came hurtling home from school and then I found out that they are resurfacing the roads in our neighborhood so we aren't going to be able to drive on them today or Monday.  No...big deal....

We are going to Nevada after school today, but we can't drive on our road....

Mark stepped in with problem solving when I had nothing.  Mark parked his car out of the neighborhood and he's going to ride his bike to it later when he is going to his friend's wedding.  Adam is taking EVERYTHING including the cooler to work with him, then he will come back and meet me and I'm leaving Joan somewhere.

It's pretty terrible timing, but I think we'll make it work.

I have other things to be grateful for besides Mark to talk me down.

I'm grateful Adam is home from another trip.

I'm grateful for the friendly "Good Morning Miz Davis!" tiny children call to me in the hall every morning at school.  It is especially delightful when they aren't my students, but they're my people.  I love that they are in my life and I am in theirs.

I'm grateful for the random urgent questions I am asked.  During recess yesterday a boy zoomed up to me and said, "The moon is bigger than Earth, right?"

I said "No, Earth is bigger."

He said, "OK," and zoomed away.

I am grateful for how pleasant recess and traffic duty are in May.

We had a Wicked themed teacher appreciation week.  Yesterday the third grade was called in to meet the wizard.  Everyone had to stand before the wizard and get a small gift and some compliments.

I was told that I was as spunky as my red shoes.  I do love my red shoes and I am glad they got a mention.

I asked my team if "spunky" was code for cranky about the construction.  They said they didn't think it was code for anything

I don't know.

Alissa said, "What did they say about me?  I think I blacked out because I don't like that much attention."

I told her they said she was a joy to watch teach and it was clear she loved her students and they loved her.

She said, "Well that's nice."

I am grateful to have a team.  If for no other reason we can reassure each other and listen to and then relay compliments for each other.

I am grateful for my sweet, sweet students.  They are sweeter than I deserve because construction noise makes me grumpy.

One of my students made me a collection of paper flowers.

Another used a 3D printer in art and made me this:

A very quiet and sweet boy solemnly asked me if it was teacher appreciation week.

I said yes.

He said, "OK then."

He pulled this out of his backpack and handed it to me.  A brown paper bag made into an envelope using electrical tape.

I felt like crying when I saw the contents.

They are better than I deserve.

Speaking of better than I deserve, this Mother's Day weekend I'm grateful for my mother and Adam's mother and my friends and sisters who are all stellar examples of motherhood to me.

I'm grateful that I get to be a mother.  It is a blessing in my life.

I'm grateful that we're going to Nevada this weekend and we'll get to see both mothers on Mother's Day and spend lots of good family time.

Fair warning

 Yesterday there was really loud construction again.  I thought the demolition was done!  But, they had to knock out a bunch of brick to widen the entry to make it ADA compliant.

It was awful.

At lunch there was a lull in the sound.  I was walking down the hall and saw the main construction guy.  I asked him if they were done with the bulk of the noise.  He said, "Huh?" and moved his headphones so I asked him again.

He said, "It's still going to be loud."

He couldn't say he didn't warn me.

Miriam and I hid out in the extra 5th grade classroom, then the third grade practiced for the dance festival until recess.

After recess it was finally quiet.

But after school, Matt told us that they didn't make the opening wide enough.

***

My students were doing an assessment, expanding simple sentences.

One of them just recopied the simple sentences.

Yes, because that was what I meant.

Several of them had a grouchy teacher (me) return their papers because they didn't capitalize the sentences.  How many times do I need to tell them?!?

(Very, very many.)

One student was turning in her paper and she is the sweetest hard-working dyslexic little girl who can't spell a bit.  She gave me a rueful look and said, "Just so you know, some of these words are not spelled correctly."

I appreciated the heads up, since I never would have realized on my own they were misspelled....

*** 

I went on a walk with Kim and before I left I told Mark that when I got home to remind me to switch the laundry and then we were going to drop off some things for my ministering sisters and then we were going to MOD for dinner.

He said, "You're honestly asking me to remind you of something?"

Fair point, ADHD kid.

***

In honor of Teacher Appreciation Week, MOD had buy one get one free pizza.  I told Mark that the woman in front of us in line was a teacher.  "I guarantee it," I said.  "That lady over there is too.  And her."

I watched one of them get out her email to check on the teacher BOGO.  "See," I told Mark.

Another suspected teacher hugged another one and then introduced her to her son as, "My first practicum student."

Teachers.

Another one joined her husband and I thought she looked like a teacher.  She set her Alpine School District ID on the table.

Yep.

When I was ordering my pizza, the girl working there asked, "So is this for the Teacher Appreciation Week BOGO?"

I guess I obviously look like a teacher too?

Then I realized I was wearing my Bonneville Elementary shirt.

Impulse buy

 A few years ago, Miriam bought a kiva for her classroom from a teacher who was retiring.

She had it a year or two and I was jealous of it.

Then she put it for sale on Facebook marketplace because it was too bulky in her classroom.  Michelle, the school counselor, bought it.

Yesterday my class was in the counselor room, having a lesson, and I saw an email that Michelle was selling the kiva.

I bought it. (This picture is in the counselor room.  I dearly wish I had a disco ball!)

A bit bigger than a pack of gum impulse buy at say a gas station.

I may regret it.  It is big and will take up a lot of precious real estate.

On the other hand, it will be great for class discussions as well as all of the storage underneath it.

Also, Michelle is my next door neighbor so it won't be hard to move! (I showed Mark this picture last night so he would know what was in his future.)

Balancing

 It's all so much!

I have a lot to do at school and a lot to do at home.  

At home we have a few busy weeks/weekends coming up, plus an extra person in our household.  There's stuff to do.

At school there is the end of year stuff: the grades, the testing, the awards, the dance festival, getting my classroom sorted, new class lists, a new literacy curriculum to unpack and make room for.  There is stuff to get rid of and storage to improve.  There's stuff to do.

I decided this week, I will focus more at home (leave school ASAP so I can work at home) and next week I'll focus more at school (stay at school until I'm done) and then with faith, trust and pixie dust it will hopefully all work out!

Olivia called me last night while I was banging things around in the kitchen trying to put stuff away.  I told her what I was stressed about and she said, "That's hard."

She told me what she was stressed about and I said, "Don't worry!  Everything is going to be fine."

I hope it helped her as much as it helped me.

Weekend

 Friday night we had dinner (Greek) with the Porters and then went to Jersey Boys at The Ruth.  It was so fun!  We loved the show.  At the intermission, Nola was googling about their lives and Dave said, "Don't tell me!"

We were invested.

I have reached a new level.  I remember my grandma used to have a refrigerator of restaurant leftovers.  I took a little cooler with us Friday night because I knew I would have leftovers from dinner and Dave and Nola put their leftovers in the cooler too and we are well on our way to being senior citizens.

Next I need a drawer of folded up aluminum foil.

Saturday was busy!  In addition to our already pretty full Saturday, we moved Mark.

It could have been a lot harder and I was trying to mentally brace for that, but he was completely ready.  He had even loaded 90% of his stuff--what would fit in his car.  He and Adam carried the last heavy things and I carried his computer monitor and record player to the back seat of our car for safe keeping.  We went to lunch and standing on the street outside the restaurant, I probably made 10 phone calls to pharmacies looking for diabetic sensors.  They are in short supply.  Adam was making calls too.  They would tell him no, but they would tell me that they didn't have any according to their computer, but they would go check the shelf.

I told Adam it was because I told them it was for my son.

People will often try to help a mother.  That's science. 

I finally found some!  I said, "You're the Walmart pharmacy in Orem right?"

I had called so many, I had lost track.

I helped Mark get settled a bit, but he was mostly doing it himself.  He was determined.  He was emptying out old drawers and bins of childhood treasures.  I am not opposed to any of that.

Adam and I went back to the pharmacy later and we also went to Hobby Lobby because I wanted to get some decorations for Lili's bridal shower in Nevada next weekend.

I had bought some bunting from Amazon and I took it to color match.  I had the idea to get similarly colored cheesecloth to run the length of the tables.  

They were out of the colors I was looking for.

There was this weirdly shimmery burlap (don't ask me--it had a strip of shiny plastic woven into it) that was dyed different colors, but I wasn't looking for shimmery.

I opened the package of bunting that I brought to get a better look at the colors and a Hobby Lobby employee said in a disgruntled voice, "Can I help you?"

I said I was fine.

She said, "Well, you opened a package and I would like to know what you are doing."

I explained that it was my package I had brought.  She hovered very close to me, suspicious, so I decided to ask her advice.  

Let's just say she didn't share my vision.

I thanked her for her help and went to look at the fabric.

I ended up with some tulle.  I took it to the fabric cutter and she started to unwrap it to measure and I said, "Wait, I'm going to get a different color."

I got a darker color and had her cut twelve yards (because I didn't know how much I would need and I would rather have too much than too little).

I was buying everything (I also got a dozen small vases) when Adam came inside.  He had sat in the car answering email.  I think he was afraid the craft store had swallowed me.

"I thought you'd be a few minutes," he said.

I explained to him how I take my role as the person in charge of decorating very seriously.

We went to Trader Joe's even though we were tired of shopping and it was nearing 7:00 and we hadn't had dinner.  

When we would ask each other why we were going to Trader Joe's.  Do we really need anything?  We'd remember the green beans.  We had purchased some there the previous week and they were really good.

Winco doesn't have great produce.

Sunday afternoon we went on a reconnaissance mission to the cemeteries in the Salt Lake valley where our ancestors are buried.  We know the ones we always visit on Memorial Day, but there are more.  I'm not adding in aunts and uncles (I am related to 72 people in the West Jordan cemetery alone!), but just focusing on direct ancestors.  That limits West Jordan to 15-16 I think.

We met Emma at Murray Cemetery.  We found some graves there of people we are descended from that we never had visited before.  It took awhile and we wanted to go to West Jordan.  We all didn't want to leave without going to my grandma's grave, but it was on the other side of the cemetery and we'll see it in a few weeks, so we headed to West Jordan.

Adam and I went to Maverik to use the bathroom so I texted this to Emma and Mark and told them to try to find John and Matilda:

They very quickly sent us this:

They were good assets for the trip.  Mark downloaded maps of the cemeteries on his phone and he and Adam figured out the grid.  Emma made up stories and puns about names she saw on headstones.  When we were looking for Walter Atwood, I told them he was the father of Ida Amanda who died of dropsy aka Type 1 diabetes.  Emma started calling him the Dropsy Popsy.

We found everyone we were looking for (except one 4th great grandpa I forgot in Murray--we'll find him on Memorial Day).

Back in the car, Braeden called us on FaceTime.  He said QE was having a "fractious" day and they thought maybe talking to us would help.  I asked her if she wanted a story.  She did.  And she wanted her dad to leave and close the door.

I told her The Three Pigs and Adam told her The Three Pumpkins, which was a story he just invented.

He told her it was true because one of the pumpkins, Roger, had told it to him.

It was a good weekend.

I had a dream last night that we were all on a field trip to Disneyland.  We didn't have enough chaperones and were losing kids right and left.  Also, the kindergarten classes were there and they had subs.  I like going to Disneyland, but I was very glad that was only a dream.  There are three weeks of school left.  I think my subconscious mind understands.

Grateful Friday

 I'm grateful to be wrapping up a difficult week.

I'm grateful that when I send wonky ill-formed migraine sub plans to my team, they text back, "No problem," and "Feel better," and "We got this!"  

And I know they do.

Miriam called after school to update me and check on me.

I'm grateful I started feeling human again.  By mid afternoon, I was starting to feel like maybe eating.  I found some Fritos in the pantry and they were just what I needed.

I'm grateful Mark is moving home this weekend.  Sometimes adult children are a boomerang and I'm here for it.  I'm not sad when they move home for a bit.  As part of Mark's work less and go to school more plan, he is economizing by moving back where we pay for stuff.  (At least basic needs.)

I warned Mark what Emma said, "When you live with your parents, you have everything except peace."

I'm grateful we have plans with Dave and Nola tonight.

It's nice to have friends.

Rock bottom

 Maybe it was the toxic positivity/ gaslighting:  If it was any team that had to deal with this, I'm glad it's yours because you are so great.

Just stop.

Maybe it was the tone deafness when 3rd grade couldn't use the bathrooms in our hall:  Have your students go to the 1st/2nd hall instead of the 5th/6th hall because they're testing and we don't want to disturb them.

Meanwhile we're testing next to a jackhammer.

Maybe it was the fact that I went home with a migraine on Tuesday that made my evening miserable and hadn't completely gone away.

Whatever it was, I went to school yesterday, as Alissa put it, with guns a blazin'.

I saw her first thing and said, "I'm going to go talk to Matt.  Want to come?"

She said yes.  We got Miriam and then we went to the office.

Riley saw us coming and said, "Uh-oh."

I told Matt we needed to talk to him.  He said, "OK."

I said, "In your office."

This is the problem with having teachers Thelma-years-old.  I've lived a long life and I'm not ready to be pushed around.

We aired our grievances and he was sort of shocked by some of the things we'd been told.  He said there was nothing he could do about the contractors' hours (for example, they pretty consistently leave at 2:00 PM).  I asked, "Why do they hold all the power in this relationship?"

He said, "Have you ever hired a contractor?"

I said, "Yes, I actually have."  (Again, I'm Thelma-years-old.)

It was nice to be heard though.

They all suddenly hopped to, finding us alternate testing locations in the school.  And alternate existing locations.  They checked in with us and made sure we had everything we needed.  They brought each third grade teacher a Swig at lunch time.

Guns a blazin' helps sometimes.

It was still awful.

Everyone was dysregulated and emotional and stressed.  

The admin and coaches have been dropping in unannounced all year to observe lessons and ask our students what they are learning to encourage us to communicate learning intentions.

I said, "Don't stop by and ask our students what our learning intentions are today."

Alissa said, "We have none."

We had inside recess because of the rain.

Miriam's husband texted her that their dryer had caught fire.

We watched the rest of Wall-E in the afternoon.

I walked with Kim after school and that helped the stabbing pain behind my eye.  It was good to just breathe air and be on the hill behind our houses where, guess what?  There aren't any jackhammers.

All evening I avoided screens and noise.  I was home alone, but I didn't listen to anything.

I went to bed early and Adam came home from church and we talked a minute, then I went back to sleep.  A bit after midnight, I was awakened by an earthquake!  It was small, 3.9, and just over the mountain.  It freaked me out.  It was so short that I was sure there would be more and my just under the surface migraine came back with a vengeance.

Adam was on his laptop, trying to find out information about the earthquake and I was trying not to die.  After a while, I staggered to my chair.  I decided I was gong to take a sick day.  Enough.  I needed a day of peace to recover.  I have never felt more guilty and like I was deserting the army about taking a sick day.  I don't know if my class will be able to stay in our classroom or will have to go elsewhere.  I wrote my plans (in the 2:00 AM hour, so they're about that coherent) with a lot of work on the computers in the hopes that would make the day easier.

I'm 10% hopeful that it will be quieter tomorrow.

10% is a small number, but demolition can't go on forever right?  You eventually hit bedrock?