Grateful

 I have chemo today, so this is my swan song for the week.  School has been exhausting, but I'm also sad about missing the next two days.  They're a lot of fun even though they are exhausting.

I had my party yesterday.  It was an adopt a puppy party.  I had these stuffed dogs.  Two moms came and helped the students make collars for the puppies with pipe cleaners and beads.  The students decorated houses for their puppies.  I was so busy folding houses and hearing about puppies, I only got this one picture:

The kids LOVED it.  We "coincidentally" earned the reward they had been working for for popcorn and a movie, so after they were finished with their houses, we watched a 30 minute movie on Disney Plus and they ate popcorn.  It was a good time.

Earlier in the day, one of them who is barely verbal threw his arms around me and said in his tiny voice, "Love...you!"

In moments like that, I would do this job for free.

There is a holiday challenge going on and yesterday one of the things was to give an anonymous gift to someone.  Here was Caroline's anonymous gift to me.

We get raffle tickets for our holiday activities which will apparently be entered into a national contest to send two teachers to Tahiti.  (We are all very skeptical if this is true.)

I put Caroline on all my raffle tickets as the teacher I would want to go with.  I am old enough to be her mother, but we have a good time together.

It was the Christmas Sing and I loved seeing my students nervous but rise to the occasion.  I loved how thrilled they were that they could see their parents or grandparents in the audience.

It was a happy time.

Many of my friends said, "Text if you need anything for your class," and "Good luck and rest, rest, rest!"

They make me feel loved and I love them right back.

Balancing act

 This has been a week of hard news, chaotic school (so many fighting children!), scrambling to get ready to miss school, dreading chemo and brain fog because everything is a lot.  (Ask me how many times I counted the number of gifts I'm taking to school today for friends/parent volunteers....)

No week is without its counterweights too.

For one thing, I had dinner with Janelle last night.  She understands all the crazy December Christmas things and all the life things too.  

Mark has wrapped me in his arms multiple times and when I was looking for my water bottle, he had already put it in the dishwasher.  He opened the drawer where the clean water bottles live and said, "May I present you a water bottle."

He takes good care of me.

As does Adam.  He went to the store late last night to get popcorn and Capri Suns for my class party today.  And also Takis because I needed to refresh my supply.  Those kids love Takis and I love rewarding greatness!  When he surveyed all the things I'm taking to school today, he said, "I'll go with you and carry things in."

I told him that was unnecessary and I could take multiple trips.  He said, "I want to," with the note of finality that I know arguing is futile.

Braeden texted me that he finished reading Sense and Sensibility and watching season 3 of Gilmore Girls with Anna.  I am proud of his literary and Netflix choices.

Emma texted a picture of a hilarious gift she created for her white elephant party at work.  I have always thought she has more creativity in her little finger than the rest of us do in our entire bodies.  She keeps proving my theory.

There are always counterweights.  There is always prayer.  There is always the sustaining and perspective giving of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

A weary world rejoices.

A field trip where I didn't lose anyone...

It helped that the "field trip" was in the gym....

 About a month ago, Brian Jensen contacted me about having his mechanical engineering class come to Bonneville and demonstrate their final projects for our students.

I knew him from BYU.  He dated Marianne way back in the day and then more recently (but still long ago), he and his wife, Jennifer, were in the same student married ward as Adam and me (and Marianne and Robert).

It's a small, small world.

Anyway, I was kind of mystified about why Brian had contacted me of all people in the Alpine School District, but I thought it seemed like a great project.

Yesterday was the allotted day.  Our students were hyped.  We also had parents come and help keep the peace because we knew full well how hyped our students would be.

It all went really well.  The BYU students were engaging and had some really great projects.  I had assigned myself the struggle bus kids and we had a little bit of fighting off and on, but the fact that they stayed engaged for about 90 minutes was pretty incredible and attests to the quality of the presentations.  Jennifer came too and I had a good visit with her while I was keeping my eyes on my little group.  It was a slightly disjointed conversation because I paused a few times to deal with conflict.  It was like two mothers chatting at the park though while toddlers play.  The interruptions are part of it and no trouble.

We caught up about our children--their oldest was born about the same time Braeden was when we lived in the same ward together.

She told me their kids had gone to Bonneville for a time and Brian had brought his classes here in the past, usually for fourth grade, but he saw that I was teaching so they decided to do third grade.  So that made a lot of sense and I was glad they came because our students loved it!

I think it was really great for our kids to interact with college students.  Most of them have little exposure to college and I think it was great for them to experience a little window of what some college students do.  We are lucky ducks to work so close to BYU and benefit from our connections and associations there.

My parents stayed with us last night.  My mom had some doctor appointments and they wanted to take us to dinner, so I suggested they stay with us.  We had a good visit.  My parents are ever examples to me of how I want to be.  They love and serve each other.  They have great faith.  Despite my mom's health struggles, she said, "What we really want to know is how are you doing?"

"Yes, we do," my dad agreed.

I took a video of her reporting on her doctor visit because she wanted to tell everyone, but she only wanted to tell it once.  In that conversation she was mostly concerned about the rest of us also.

I have good parents and that is all.

Weekend

 Tis the season of stress dreams.

I had a dream that I couldn't remember my students' names and everything was complete chaos at school.  As in, I didn't have a plan and they were running amok and judgmental looking adults were there watching.  I had a dream that Mark went to my cancer doctor about celiac disease.  My doctor said that Mark was "gravely ill" and that some people can cope with celiac disease and some can't.  Mark was a can't.

I asked desperately, "Are people working on a cure?  Are there treatments?!?"

He said, "No.  No one cares about celiac disease."

So that was a fun night.

And also, understandable.  School is a little crazy.  I have chemo again this week (why Dr. Chipman showed up in my dream).  And I always feel concern for Mark.

The stress yields headaches.  All part of the Thelma package.

I think things will get better.  I have my grades in pretty good hand (they're due this week).  I think I have my sub plans sorted.  I will get through chemo--and the following days.  I'm planning on doing exactly nothing for a few days.  (Which means I have to be totally ready for Christmas--and I pretty much am.)

It's been a lot.

A weekend was nice.  Adam and I stayed home Friday night and ate cheese and crackers for dinner.  We did the Saturday things and I abandoned reading my book, because it was just too stupid.  I started a new one, hoping for better things.

Mark was gone all day Saturday with his friends.  They went out into the desert and shot guns at targets.  (My grandpa Dahl would have approved.)

I said, "Don't shoot your eye out."

I don't love guns.  At all.

He came home happy and dirty and I guess that is a good day.

Yesterday Emma's choir was singing in church, plus she was involved in two musical numbers.  I really wanted to go, but it was my turn to lead the music in primary and I already miss enough Sundays. 

It turned out Elder Caussé was there!  It was a surprise.  He and his wife had gone to Music and the Spoken Word and then wanted to go to a sacrament meeting.  Emma's friend told her right before church, "An apostle will be here!"

Emma said, "Well I wasn't nervous...."

Mark went to watch and overtly recorded the songs for me.  I loved hearing them.  At the end Elder Caussé spoke and he said it was the "perfect" ward for them to go to.  Then he and his wife shook the choir members' hands and thanked them.  Emma was brave enough to speak a little French with his wife.

You never know what a day holds, I guess.

Emma came over and she and I daydreamed about travel and listened to the recordings of their songs.  After Adam got home, we made dinner, talked to QE--Adam and I both read her books, and played a round of Skip Bo.

Now the week.  I'm a little daunted, but I have a pretty good survival rate.  I predict I'll make it.

Grateful Friday

 I talked to Olivia on the phone last night and she said, "How are you doing?"

I said, "I am tired and aggravated."

She said, "Are you aggravated by something in particular or are you just generally aggravated?"

It is something in particular and it is December teaching coupled with compressed days (because of chemo) before grades are due and the iReady middle of year diagnostic.  Mostly it is about the ten children who WILL NOT sit down and get to work.  I have them sit right next to me and they hop up every ten seconds or they are looking everywhere in the classroom except at what they're supposed to be doing.

It is making me a little crazy.

Yesterday though, I had about 6 of them at my desk and it was a constant stream of Get back to work.  Sit down.  You can do it!  Keep working!

A girl right next to me finished!  She pumped her fist and in her darling accented English said, "Jes! I did it!"

I was proud of her and she was proud of her and it made me realize that they aren't actually trying to aggravate me.  They are trying to finish.  They want to finish.  It is glimmers like that that make me grateful.

It's a reminder that I need for everyone on the planet probably.  The person driving below the speed limit in front of me, the person who stops with their shopping cart blocking the aisle at the grocery store, my students.  They aren't actually trying to aggravate me.

For example, I realized the other day that the two boys who always throw their coats on the floor, can't easily reach the hooks because they are so short.

Everyone is trying their best.

I'm grateful for the reminder.  Hopefully it will carry me through these next days.

Birthday boy

 Yesterday Mark turned 23 and we went to Red Robin to celebrate because we always go to Red Robin to celebrate his birthday.  He loves Red Robin and we love Mark.

I took his picture while we were waiting for Emma and Adam to get there.  In lieu of a cake, a Red Robin menu....

Mark is easy to love.

This is Mark at 23:

He has the most eclectic taste in music of anyone I know.  He will talk about Rush's drum patterns or the optimal instruments in a jazz band or the raw voices of hard rock singers with anyone who will listen.

He loves astronomy.  He dives deep into space related topics.  He recently took a deep dive into the Declaration of Independence, just because he was interested.  He's like Adam in that way.  (I am more of a skimmer of everything.)

He is good at doing things, fixing things, taking care of business.  He is my butler/valet/footman (not sure what to call him, but I know those titles from Downton Abbey) for hire these days and I appreciate his presence as well as his competence.

He is going to school.  He hates going to school.  I am proud of him for doing it anyway.

He is definitely an introvert and bows out when he is done.  At the same time, he can talk to about anyone.  Adam took him with him to visit a man in our ward who is in a care center.  They were having a good visit, talking about old times when Brother Cordon was Mark's Sunday School teacher and even older times when Brother Cordon moved here from California.  A nurse came in to do something and Mark intercepted her because Brother Cordon was in the middle of a good story and quietly asked her to return later.

He's good in situations like that.  His empathy has been forged by two autoimmune diseases and it shows.

I love that he kisses my forehead every day and gives really good hugs.  He always says, when he walks away, "Let me know if you need anything."

Also, he means it.

Changed for good

 We had our work Christmas party after school yesterday and we watched Wicked for Good.  Matt buys out the entire theater plus gives everyone a $5 gift card for concessions.

It was a good time.  Third grade made a plan (and yes, that is the name of our group chat.  We are insufferable).

Holly isn't at Bonneville this year, but I was so happy that she crashed the party.  She hugged me and said, "How dare you have something happen to you when I'm not around to love on you?!?"

She got a health update:  it's been a little wild, but I'm doing it.

We got our sodas and popcorn and settled into the recliners and yes, I did fall asleep for part of it.  My body is greedy about sleep these days and it will take any opportunity.

I did enjoy the rest of the movie though.  

The movie is rated PG, but after Elphaba and Fiyero kissed, Matt, in his loud voice said, "My apologies!  That got a little steamy!"  Everyone laughed.  It's fun to laugh in a movie theater full of people you know and love.

When Elphaba and Glinda were singing, "Changed for Good," my thoughts turned to the friends who surrounded me.

They make me want to be better.  They love our students and work so hard.  They decorate for holidays and bring fun and stew over progress and troubleshoot how to reach certain students and how to best present lessons.  They cry over the heartbreaking stories and give all of the enthusiasm imaginable for the triumphs.

So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend

 

Every day is a mixed bag

 Yesterday:

One of my harder students was absent and I must say, I noticed.

I read A Wish for Wings that Work aloud to them.  They loved it.

Multiple students hugged me and one told me she loves me before she left for the day.

A girl's glasses were lost and after an elusive search, I sent an email to all the other teachers and I vowed we would search again tomorrow.  Her mom texted me later and said they'd been found in a hidden pocket of her jacket.  Hurray!

A boy's birthday is during Christmas break.  His mom was so happy when I suggested we celebrate it early.  She said he had never celebrated his birthday in class.

But also:

Several of my students made hardly any growth on their middle of year math diagnostic.  And it matters to me.

Alissa's two hardest students moved.  Miriam's two hardest students are about to move.  My two hardest students are staying put.

Two students moaned, "This is impossible..." during phonics and wouldn't get to work.  (Another student said "whine less and work more" and that could really be in the above list of positives because I was privately high-fiving her in my mind.)

A boy who (isn't moving) but is difficult all day every day finally had to just come and stand by me during song practice because he was being such a pain.  

They keep me on my toes.  But I'll keep going back.

Weekend

 Fun at school:

In November we had jars in the office, one for Matt, Jeff, Caroline and Riley.  Students could bring change and whoever had the most by the end of the month would get a pie in the face.

They used the money to give Thanksgiving dinner to some families in our school.

Of course Matt won.  Two students were randomly selected to throw pie in his face and I love an elementary school with a good principal and that is all.

The field trip:

There were thousands of elementary students at the Marriott Center.  We found our seats; everyone was accounted for.  I was strategically seated where I could keep an eye on my live wires.

BYU does quality everything.  I loved the show.  My students loved the show.  They did a dance from Mexico and the boys in front of me whooped when it was announced and then were enthralled.  

Then they did a dance from Colombia and my Colombian boy was waving his arms in the air and bouncing in his chair and I was so happy.

Then we tried to leave.

I had a styrofoam peppermint on a stick that I had showed my students that I would hold up so they could find me.  I had three so I gave one to Miriam and Alissa too.  I led the charge and holding up my peppermint, led students out of the arena and had them line up against the inner wall on the concourse.  I counted heads and I was missing a student.  Alissa and Miriam joined and I counted again and I was still missing a student!  It was my nightmare.  I sent a boy to the bathroom to see if the missing student was there.

He was not.

The missing boy was not one that I was concerned about wandering off (I had a firm grip on that boy).

The missing boy was one whose name I write on sub plans as a responsible student the sub can turn to for help!

I found a security guard and he was wholly unhelpful.  He suggested that maybe his parents had picked him up.  I don't know what I expected the security guard to do, but that wasn't it.  I walked around the Marriott Center in a panic, praying my little heart out. Alissa took her class outside to see if he was there.  She called me and she said, "I have him!" 

He was missing for probably 5 minutes, but it was the longest 5 minutes of my life!

I gathered my students and walked outside in the falling snow toward the busses.  I felt wobbly with relief.  Alissa was standing outside the bus her class was on and said, "He's on this bus, do you want him?"

I said, "Yes!" I needed to see that boy!

I hugged him and told him that I was sorry we had lost him and I was so glad we'd found him.

In the crush of elementary students, he had thought he was following our class.  He was confused that his friends weren't outside with him because he thought he was with them.  I told him he did a great job staying in one spot when he realized he was lost because I never would have left him.

He looked pale and stressed and we went to the bus and all the rest of the students freaked out and said, "Where were you?!?"

I didn't think it was particularly helpful so I distracted them with asking them about their favorite dances.  Later, I asked my student (who still looked stressed), "Are you OK?  Were you scared?"

He said, "No."

I said, "I was scared.  I was panicking!"

A girl across the aisle on the bus said, "I think we all were scared."

When we were walking back into the school, he asked me, "Teacher, on a scale of one to a million, how scared were you?"

I said, "About 900,000.  I thought I would find you, but I was scared."

He smiled, satisfied that I cared I guess.  

I said, "I would not have left without you."

He said, "What if the seasons changed?"

I said, "I would still be there."

With that he went to lunch and I went to message him mom a "so we lost your son today...." message.

I would rather her hear it from me.

Ward Party:

We had our ward Christmas party and I usually don't love ward Christmas parties (I know my sisters are shaking their heads as they read this).  They are people-y and sometimes long and sometimes awkward choosing where to sit.  It's a me problem. (Also Shannon and Chris and Kim and Rod were not going to be there.  My pals!)

But when your husband is the bishop, it feels like you really can't gracefully get out of them, so I went.  We ended up sitting with and having a nice visit with two other couples who are about our same age.  The food was good.  They had a very short and good program (one song/nativity from some primary children and Adam was asked to "make remarks" and they were brief). 

Then I moved over to Cortney and Jordan's table and had a good chat with them (actually we were about the last people there).

So it was a good ward Christmas party.  Except I went home feeling kind of wonky. 

Lots of people asked me how I was feeling.  People said, "Well, you look good!" (It felt like they were expecting me to look emaciated or something.) And some people said, "It's good to see you out!" (It felt like I have one foot in the grave and it was something of a miracle that I was walking around.)

One man told me, while he was serving me some ham, "I pray for you every night.  We need to keep you around."

I'm not dying!  Do you think I'm dying?!?

I know, me problems.  They are kind and care about me and that means a lot to me.  I guess I just don't love being reminded over and over again that I have cancer.  I just want to be normal socially awkward Thelma who doesn't know where to sit at the ward Christmas party instead of sick socially awkward Thelma who people are amazed to see among the living.

Nate Bargatze

Ammon and Melanee gifted us with tickets to watch him perform at the Delta Center and it was so fun!  I laughed and cry laughed and it felt good to have a night out even though I was very tired being out past my bedtime. 

We took TRAX from the Courthouse Station to the Delta Center because Adam reasoned it was less walking for me and less hassle parking.  We were late (after a pit stop at the Lego store--how old will our boys be when they stop requesting Legos for Christmas?).  I had wanted to leave earlier and Adam said we would be fine.  (Every time we go anywhere our entire marriage that is the exact conversation.)

Well, Adam was right this time.  We slid into our seats and they were just starting the opening acts and we didn't miss a single thing.

Actually Adam is right a lot, we usually are fine.  I still like being early.

Sunday

I led the singing in primary, which is always fun.  In the afternoon a little boy and his dad dropped off a plate of Christmas treats--I think for Adam.  When I answered the door, he was greatly taken aback and said, "Hey!  You're my music teacher!"  He turned to his dad and said, "She's my music teacher!"

I think he thought I must live in the primary room.

Also Sunday I got to talk to QE.  I showed her the Christmas tree she helped decorate and she said, "I want to see more decorations."

I was ready.

She showed me something she was building and she showed me her tree and some Christmas pillows besides.  

It was a festive phone call. (FaceTime was a great invention.)

Grateful Friday

 I didn't feel on top of the world like Monday, but I did OK yesterday, pretty good energy.  Today my head feels fuzzy and congested.  I am not the picture of health, but I am grateful that a day to give my body rest was enough to put me back on track.

I'm grateful for the weekend.  More rest and fun times too--Ammon and Melanee had two tickets to Nate Bargatze they couldn't use and gifted them to us!  I'm excited for that!

I'm grateful for Mark setting up a wrapping station for me in QE's room.  I put a sticky note with a threatening None Shall Pass message on it and now I can slowly wrap gifts to my heart's content.  I won't have to pull things out and put them away.  (It was Adam's idea.  That guy is brilliant.)

I'm grateful I got to take a walk with Kim last night.  It was only one this week, but one is more than none and I love connecting with her.

I'm grateful to be a teacher.  Unexpected things happen so much, they should be expected by this point.  The other day a second grader hugged me and told me about her cheek being numb because she had gone to the dentist.  I know her vaguely because I taught her sister, but it's kind of delightful that random children want to tell you about what's happening in their mouth at any given time.

I encountered a kindergartner in the hall and he said, "Do you even know me?"

I said no.

He said, "My name is Jim and I just moved to Orem."

I said, "Well, welcome, Jim.  I'm Mrs. Davis."

He'll have my vote for president someday.

I need to remind myself that I'm grateful to be a teacher because yesterday afternoon was a doozy.  Every year I've taught 3rd grade at Bonneville we have made paper dolls for a Christmas Around the World project.  This year was supremely chaotic.  I have a few students who cannot be given a task with any level of complexity without going off the rails.  Some of the students loved it and created the cutest and most creative costumes on their paper dolls and some of them lay down on the floor.

We had a faculty meeting after school and Matt brought snacks and I laughed with my team and when we did a group project we joined up with 5th grade so I was able to laugh with Caroline too.

It helped.

I'm grateful today that we are going to BYU for Christmas Around the World.  I've been a few times before.  Never with school children.  Here's hoping we survive!

Sick day

 Nothing ruins a sick day like, well, being sick.  I would see something that needed doing and think, "Maybe I'll be up for that later."

I wasn't.

I was sick.

I did see pretty things as I padded around in my fuzzy socks, doing things like taking Wellness Formula (like it's my actual job) and refilling my water bottle.

Since I was also listening to the Follow Him podcast (such a great one this week!  I say that every week), I had my phone handy and snapped pictures of pretty things that caught my eye. 

If you're going to be sick, at least the world is pretty.

moody predawn with the temple glowing--woke up early, still got 9 hours of sleep

The low sun hits my disco ball in the morning only.  Usually I miss it because I am at school.

Tuesday night Adam went to a fancy work dinner and brought home these pretty glass jars.  I love when they say take home the table decorations!  Birds were flitting around the snow-covered tree outside and it set a lovely scene.  (Adam also brought me home a piece of creme brûlée cake which I was not sad about.)

Somewhere around mid-morning, I heard the tell-tale sound of a bird hitting one of our windows.  I hate it when that happens! After I ate lunch, I noticed a package on our front porch, right next to a dead bird.  (Sincere apologies to the delivery guy!)  Mark was home from class so I called him upstairs.  I said, "In my family growing up, the boys did the outside stuff and the girls did the inside stuff and there's a dead bird on the doorstep."

He generously didn't point out that he currently is doing all the dishes and laundry and went and got a shovel and got rid of the bird.

He also brought in the package.

(When you live with your parents you have everything but peace.)

Altogether it was a pretty good day.  I got a bunch of school stuff done on my computer.  I read my book and did a tiny bit of cross-stitch.  I also talked to both sisters and both parents on the phone.  Not bad.

Going back to school today; wearing a mask!

Well

 Pride goeth before the fall.

I have a sick student.  This particular student is really hard.  For that reason, he is strategically seated right by me.  Also, he gravitates to my desk often.  He puts everything in his mouth.  He has had a terrible cough for the past two days.

Yesterday he came to school and seemed really sick.  He laid his head on his desk and told me he didn't feel well.  I suggested he go call home (please, for the love).  He said he didn't want to.  He said his mom gave him medicine and he drank it.

I said, "Are your mom and dad at work?"

He miserably nodded his head.

I feel sympathy for families that send their sick children to school because they don't have other options.  I wore a mask and sanitized or washed my hands every time I turned around.  At one point he was sitting at my desk for help and coughing up a storm.  I said, "You have to go back to your desk."

It didn't help.  Toward the end of the day, I was super tired and had a sore throat and a fuzzy feeling head.  Ugh.

I decided that in an effort to nip it all the way in the bud, I would take today off.  I gathered some sub plans and the inestimable emergency sub in our building showed up at my door because Jamie had sent her.  I told her the long and short of everything and she said, "Don't worry about anything.  I have some extra books and tricks up my sleeve."

I am so grateful.  

Also, I sent another plea to parents, "Please keep your sick children home."

When I reported my sickie state to Matt, he said, "You are fighting cancer!  Next time a kid won't call home when they are clearly sick, tell me and I will reach out to their parents."

So it's home for me.  Warm blankets and drinking lots.  I hope a day of rest will fight it off. Usually I have enough teacher immunity that I don't get sick too often.  Cancer adds a whole element....

I guess this makes me appreciate the good days all the more.

School in December

 When I got home, I tucked myself under a blanket and was tired, but I had such a good day yesterday!

I felt more energetic and like myself than I have in a long time.  I didn't feel overwhelmed or exhausted or impatient or any of the things.  It was wonderful!

What was also wonderful was my students seeing the classroom, all decked out for Christmas.  They walked in the door and started gasping and saying, "Oh! Oh! Oh!"

They showed each other the tree and the Christmas village.  "Are there lights inside?  Where did this come from?  My name is on the tree!"  I loved seeing their wonder as they walked around looking at everything.  One girl threw her arms around my waist and said, "You're the best teacher ever!"

Such an easy crowd!

One boy (with extravagant bedhead) told me that he woke up with his hair looking very "floaty."

Yes he did.

I was so happy to be back.

During math, we started on area.  First, we talked about real world reasons why you may need to know area.  One student said that his dad works in construction, so he uses it.

That reminded me of QE telling me she wanted to be an "instruction" worker when she grows up.  I told her that was great and she said she was going to build a library out of blocks.  I said, "I will come to your library."

She said, "No Nana, it's built out of blocks."

Nana is not very smart sometimes....

Anyway.  Area.  I was trying to teach them the concept of a square unit as compared to just length.  I grabbed a piece of chalk and drew on the carpet.

 They were completely shocked and wondered if I was going to get in trouble from Mr. D.  I was willing to risk it.

Let me tell you, when the teacher starts drawing on the carpet, you have 100% engagement!

We'll see if it carries over into them actually understanding what area is or not.

For read aloud I read them a Christmas story.  They were silent and leaning slightly forward and it was dreamy.

We also made our ornaments for the library Christmas tree.  At the end of the day, I sat them all down and read the last several pages of the Christmas book because we'd had to stop earlier.

A student said, "This has been the best day ever."

Another said, "Time flies when you're busy."

A while after the students left, I was tying gold string onto the ornaments and Alissa popped her head in my room and asked, "Are you busy doing something important?"

I said, "Do you want to string lights?"

She brought lights from home for her classroom and wanted to string them up outside our classrooms too.  We all want to make it as magical as possible.  Miriam joined us and I unwound the lights and advised placement and those two tall girls hung them in the hall.  Other teachers admired our handiwork and when Caroline came along and said, "Look at you third grade teachers!"

I said, "Team of the year!  We're never not going to mention that."

(That's the kind of relationship I have with Caroline.  We're like snarky sisters and I love it.)

Riley came along clucking his tongue, probably thinking of some OSHA violation.  We told him to keep on walking.

There were some students still at the school because of boys and girls club and they were using the bathrooms in our hall.  

"What are you doing?" they asked in wonder.

"Making it festive!" Alissa told them.

Christmas!  I love every school day in December! 

 

Weekend

 On Friday I shopped (online) and then we decorated.  (I told Adam not to freak out when he sees the credit card bill....)

I realized that maybe I should have decorated, shopped, decorated, shopped, repeat so I could break up the decorating with sitting.

I got SO tired.  And then I cried.  I just want to do my life.  I don't want to be exhausted by things that used to be no problem.  I hate having to either skip my stuff or rely on other people to do my bidding.  I don't love it.

I bucked myself up.  (My family bucked me up.)  We got the house looking festive and then spent a more restful afternoon.  Adam wanted to go to South Jordan for a gift for me and I went with him.  (I sat in the car and read my book while he went into the store).  We just like being together.  We listened to our latest podcast (House at Number 48) and decided the guy was kind of insufferable, but the story is interesting. 

We tried to interest the introverts in going or in watching a movie when we got home.  They both politely declined.

You can only get so much interaction out of those two before it is used up.

Saturday I made muffins: gluten free cinnamon and regular cranberry.  (I needed to use up the cranberry sauce.)

It was restorative to me to bake.  I felt like me and I felt like a person.  I hardly ever bake anymore because gluten free kind of takes the fun out of everything (as does cancer).  But I really love to bake and I was happy to have the energy.

We went to my classroom to decorate it for Christmas and put it to rights.  I was very grateful to my family for helping.  Again, it's usually something I mostly manage (Mark usually helps hang the snowflakes), but this year I was helped and I appreciate it.  He would never say it, but I think Adam thinks I need to alter my expectations and not decorate.  He helps me all the same.  It means a lot to me.

We had lunch at Chubby's and then Emma went back to her apartment.  It was wonderful to have her for so many days.  After that we went to Winco.  Amazingly, I wasn't flattened after shopping.  We were walking out of the store and I told Mark.  "This is the first time in I don't know how long that I am not exhausted after this!"

It felt good.

I was tired when we got home and sat in my chair and read, but it feels like so much progress!

Adam and I rewatched the first episode of The Gold that I slept through the last time.  I told Adam and Mark they could go on without me, but no man left behind I guess.

On Sunday morning Adam said, "Are you up to church today?"

I was!

The Relief Society did sort of an instant choir and I marched up there like I was going to be able to sing the song.  It was "Amazing Grace" and it kind of destroyed me.  I ugly cried.

The second and third verses in particular.  I wasn't ready.

The Lord has promised good to me; 

His word my hope secures. 

He will my shield and portion be 

As long as life endures.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares

I have already come. 

His grace has brought me safe thus far, 

And grace will lead me home.

I thought I should have told Adam no and stayed home in my warm slippers.  I can't take me anywhere.  Nola was standing next to me while we they were singing.  She put her arm around my waist.  After singing, several of my friends stopped to squeeze my arm and give me a loving smile.

I'm a hot mess, but I am loved.

It snowed in the afternoon, which was icing on the Christmas decorated house.

This was at the start of the snow, but we got a few inches.  Lovely!

I lit my Swedish änglaspel that Braeden and Anna gifted me last year.  It felt cozy in a snowstorm.

After Adam got home, we made dinner and Mark wasn't feeling well (got glutened I think) and Emma didn't come because she was sick (a MIRACLE that I didn't catch her cold while she was here--sweet girl washed her hands until they were raw).  So Adam and I played Skip bo and watched an episode of Professor T and I was asleep by 8:30.  I get + need a lot of sleep!

This morning I finished my Christmas shopping.

Now, ready or not, back to school.