An extra post

 I only have two careers to compare around here at Christmas time, mine and Adam's. 

Adam comes home with a lot of really nice Christmas presents from his boss and coworkers.

I have Ugly Sweater Day, which is Jamie's favorite day of the school year.  She created a rubric for judging and sent it to us last week.

There were prizes.

Participating is not optional.

Here I am with my team.  I am the shortest and don't know to look at the camera.  This is my life.  This has always been my life.

I didn't even come close to winning the contest.  

The students who came, came to school in pajamas and with frenzied energy.  Many didn't come, which makes sense when the day is short.  A few more gave me presents which were very sweet.  

We went to the Jingle Jam.

It was utter bedlam!  Matt knows how to rile them up, but thankfully he also knows how to settle them back down. 

The students performed their grade level songs for each other by standing up in the spot where they were sitting.  I crossed the room to take a picture of the third graders and realized they absolutely didn't know the song, so I stayed there and led them and did the actions from across the room.

Between numbers, the teachers did lip sync performances or a jib jab/elf yourself kind of situation.  The third grade team was the only one who did a video instead of a lip sync.  Miriam said, "Are we the old team?"

If we are, it is because I bring the average age up.

(I also didn't mind that we didn't do a lip sync.)  

The second grade teachers did a Christmas version of "Raining Tacos."  If you don't know what that song is, you probably aren't an elementary teacher.

And then they threw tortillas at the crowd.  If I could figure out how to make it work, I would add the video I took.  It was a scene.  Over 500 hyped up children in pajamas losing their ever loving minds.

It took several minutes to get everyone settled down.

It was further proof that elementary teachers are not like regular people and we absolutely deserve the bedlam that happens to us because we cause a lot of it.

Back at our classroom we played games and passed out papers and all the things.  I told them they were not to open their gifts from me until they got home.  They were books and some of them were thick above grade level books and some of them were 1st grade level because I wanted to give them books they could read.  I didn't need them comparing.

My little English learner is moving.  It was his last day.  He brought treats for everyone and a present for me.  We told him we love him and would miss him and he said, "Teacher, I'm sad!" and he burst into tears.

We all hugged it out and he just clung to me, the little sweetie.

He kept saying, "I'm sad, Teacher!  I love you so much, Teacher!"  I told him that when he started school here, he didn't know anyone and now he has so many friends and everyone loves him.  

I said, "Everyone at your new school will love you!  You are going to make many new friends."

He solemnly said, "OK, Teacher." (He said it the same way he always said OK Teacher when I told him to sit down or stop talking or no, he couldn't have a piece of candy.)

His gift was a Lego Ninjago book with a mini figure too.  (Another reason I didn't want them to open gifts in the classroom--he's the only one that got a mini figure.)

Ten seconds after he left for the day, he came hurtling back and hugged me again.  He had opened his gift.

"Thank you, Teacher!  I love it, Teacher! Oh, thank you!"  It made me wish I'd given him a Lego set the size of him.

All the introvert teachers sped around their classrooms, getting ready to leave.  I took down my decorations and switched everything to January and took several loads to the car.  A gaggle of extroverted teachers were in the hall laughing and talking.  They were recharging in their way and I was hurrying home to recharge in mine.

I felt such warmth and love as I left the school.  Fellow teachers, my friends, called to me to have a Merry Christmas and a good vacation.  It is so wonderful to work with people I like so much.

I don't need expensive Christmas presents from work.  I'd pick this job any day.

Grateful Friday

 Well, Christmas time is the best when gifts are your love language.  I love thinking about and shopping for gifts.  I love gift idea lists (although I usually don't use anything on them--I still like looking).  I love getting gifts!  I love knowing someone thought of me.

When Emma and I were decorating the tree, the song, "All I Want for Christmas is You" was playing.

I don't care about the presents 

Underneath the Christmas tree

She said, "I guess you can't relate to this song."

No indeed.

It can also be a fraught time when gifts are your love language and you overthink everything.  (Also me.)

Yesterday I took gifts for my teammates and also for Jamie.  I went into her office to give her gift to her and the other coach, who shares an office with Jamie, was also there.  I couldn't exactly back out and pretend it never happened, or pretend I didn't have a gift for Jamie and not the other coach.

It was super awkward.

I think the other coach is great!  I really like her.  But Jamie is my she's been to my house several times and I've been to hers friend. She gave me some of her soup yesterday so I could try out the new recipe she discovered. (It was pickle soup! It was surprisingly good!)

Anyway.  I felt weird about it.  I didn't think about the whole sharing an office thing....

Then there are the gifts from my students.  They make my heart sing.  So sweet.  

Something like this:  a Diet Coke with a handwritten card is pretty much peak present for me from a student.  I don't want anything expensive, but their thinking of me makes me feel loved.

This was inside another card (she had also painted me a picture of a snowman).

I try to strike the balance between my appreciation and celebration of their efforts and not making the other kids feel bad.

They don't need to bring me a gift!  I cringe a little inside when they ask me what I want for Christmas.  

Yesterday a few students brought things to my desk and I thanked them and I noticed one girl looking over, kind of downhearted.  It was early morning when they were doing brain bins and she and another girl were playing with dominoes.  She came over to my desk and asked, "Teacher, what is your favorite color?"

I said, "Red."

They went back to their table and started speaking Spanish, which is the best way to be stealthy around me.

A few minutes later, they came back to my desk, all smiles.  "Teacher!  We made something for you!"

First they proudly showed me the T.

Then this, which confused me at first until I realized it was Mis Davis written backward (I don't know why it is backward).

They hugged me and I hugged them right back because I loved their gift.

It was a Little Drummer Boy kind of moment.  We all have gifts to bring when we give love.

Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum.

To quote Ferdinand from the movie Babe....

 Yesterday morning I had four students sobbing uncontrollably at different times.  Full on weeping.

One girl's dad came to the Christmas sing, but just as we were finished singing. So she cried.

We were working on a group project (the Santa village using area...I'll never do it again) and the group didn't share one student's vision and went in a different direction. So she cried.

Another group put away their project and one of the girls wasn't finished.  So she cried.  I suggested she go retrieve the project and keep working on it and she did.  She also refused to sit by her group for the rest of the day.

Two boys got in a tussle because one was holding a crayon and the other grabbed the crayon and the crayon broke.  You never saw so much accusation and incrimination.  I said, "They're my crayons!  I don't care if it breaks!  You're fine!"

During writing time we were having a discussion and I was taking answers from the class.  One of the boys didn't get called on so he put his head down on his desk and...cried.

We took a five minute break and I showed them a Lucas the Spider video.  We all needed it.

Alissa had had a lot of crying in the morning too.  She sighed and said, "They have big emotions."

After lunch, I had gathered my strength and had a solid and structured plan, but things were still a bit rough.  One student gave his best pouting face (and you've never seen such a great pouter) when I told him in no uncertain terms that he was not to further discuss the existence of Santa Claus.

"Stop," I said.  "No more. I've asked you to stop and you're being unkind."

After the afternoon performance we had about 15+ minutes until the end of the day.  Parents could come and check their students out right then and there.  I considered offering $5 to any parent who would take their kids early.

What a day.

We had an hour of professional development after school (of course we did) and then I went to the chiropractor.

When I was finally home, I took a bath and changed into my pajamas.

When Adam was heading off to young mens where they were delivering goodies to people, he said, "If you weren't in your pajamas, I would have invited you to come with us."

To borrow a phrase from MarkI said, "That would have been a negativo Stevo."

I was done.

This morning after a good night's sleep and another hot bath (the best way to start the day, especially in December), I feel ready for another day.  I really do love those knuckleheads and I'm going to do my festive best these last two days.

Joy to the world

 Every year at school about this time, I remember a teacher who was a guest presenter at my multicultural education class at BYU.  He was a Jewish man teaching at an elementary school in Salt Lake City.  He talked to us about his culture a bit and then he told us that his classroom was the only one that was calm in December.

I do it to myself, in other words.  

I have an advent calendar and Christmas activities and Christmas read alouds and Christmas school work.  For example, yesterday they were drawing Santa's village based on the different given areas of the buildings.  We did a word search for Christmas words of different syllable types.  We did a Christmas song mad libs.

And they are all acting like insane lunatics.

I can't be like the Jewish teacher who visited my class, though.  I am grateful for the birth of Jesus Christ and I think that it is worth celebrating.  Even though my desire for sharing love and joy and light with them usually results in chaos, I can't not do it.

And, when you think about it, maybe feeling deliriously, hysterically happy is the appropriate reaction.

Unto us a Son is given!

In the bleak midwinter

Yesterday a student came back from WIN time with a box that was some kind of project he had worked on there.  He asked, "What do I do with this?"

I said, "You can put it on the counter."

He paused a moment, distracted by something.  Then he said, "What should I put on the counter?"

I didn't even know what to say.

We've been trying (not succeeding) at figuring out area of irregular shapes.

This was one student's quiz:

We got this email from the office:

There was a report made today in the office during lunch that XXX and XXX were drawing pictures of XXX and XXX holding hands.

XXX let me know that she doesn' t like it and that it is annoying. 

She said that XXX drew a picture of an air quote "I love you" character as XXX.

XXX drew the picture of XXX and XXX holding hands.

I asked XXX where the picture was and he said he thinks he threw it away. I asked why the drawing was created and he said that he wanted to make XXX happy. I asked XXX why he wanted to make XXX happy he replied so that she wouldn't be sad.

The office is turning this over to your team.

Such a fun age....

The energy at school among students is accelerating at the same rate energy is flagging among teachers.

I was gathering up my things to go home and the sky was low and gray and I still had a frustrating pile on my desk of things that needed doing, but I was going home anyway.

The sky reflected my mood.

I talked to my parents to check in on my mom and my dad asked me how many more days I had school until Christmas break and I said, "Until Friday."

He said, "That's a lot of days!  You can't quit now."

Rats.

I was told yesterday that I need to keep my classroom door locked at all times.  If a student needs to go to the bathroom or get a drink or go anywhere, when they come back, they're going to have to knock and be let inside.  That feels like such an enormous pain!  There are going to be so many extra interruptions!

Another teacher said, "These are the times we are living in."

And then there was a school shooting yesterday to put an exclamation point on that for emphasis.

It felt very much like bleak midwinter.

Despite the bleak feeling day, the house was warm and I told Alexa to turn on the Christmas lights.  I know I have many many things to be grateful for.  I am grateful for Christmas songs that are beautiful and also give me comfort and hope and reminders of what it all means.   Even bleak midwinters have an uplifting message.  Here's the last stanza, by Christina Rossetti:

I will keep trying to give my heart.

Weekend

Much like Marley was dead: to begin with, we went to the grocery store: to begin with.

Then I decided to make pumpkin bread.  Adam was deep into his church email so I went alone to Walmart (on a December Saturday because I am insane) because it is closer than Winco for pumpkin and cloves.  I don't know the last time I used regular flour, so I picked up a 5 lb bag of flour in case I didn't have enough.

I don't bake much anymore, which is a little sad because I like to bake.

I had the pumpkin in the mixer, I had the eggs on the counter, coming to room temperature, I had the butter softened.  

Friends, I didn't have any sugar.  I had like 1/3 cup.  I looked in the pantry thoroughly.  I used to buy my flour and sugar at Costco because I used it that often.  It was amazing to me that I had run out of sugar.  I didn't even have any brown sugar.  I had honey, so I contemplated using that, but it seemed to invite new complications.  

I announced to Adam I was going back to Walmart.  I think he heard the despondency in my voice and he said, "I'll go for you!"

I said he didn't need to and he said, "I need to wash my car anyway."

I said, "I'll come with you, but are you going to vacuum your car?"  (Sometimes going to the carwash with Adam where he has to vacuum every nook and cranny you never knew existed in a car is like going to a museum with him where he reads every printed word available.)

He said he wouldn't vacuum, so I put my shoes on.

My frustration was high when I contemplated all the things that weren't happening at home thanks to me going to my third grocery store of the day.  As he was parking, I said, "It is discouraging to know I'll be the dumbest person in Walmart."

Adam texted our kids because he said that was the funniest thing I'd ever said.  

I wasn't trying to be funny.

We got the sugar and it wasn't all that painless.  I made my pumpkin bread and tried to triage the rest of my to do list.  Adam made dinner while I folded laundry.

He told me dinner was ready and I came downstairs to this:

Probably the most consistent aspect of my parenting is that my children set the table correctly.  That doesn't say a lot about my parenting, but the table always looked nice.

After dinner we watched Wolf Hall on PBS and I painted my nails and then sat next to Adam on the couch and he tucked a blanket around me so that I wouldn't ruin my nails.

I love Saturdays with that guy.

Sunday was a busy and good day, marred only by Mark getting sick.

We went to our church and then went to Emma's.  She was singing a duet with a friend and then her choir (she's the director) was also performing.  I love going to her ward.  They meet in a beautiful old building in the Avenues with big arched windows in the chapel complete with wavy old glass and some stained glass. Everything from the talks to the prayers were edifying.  Also, those kids can sing.

We hightailed it from there back to PG for our ward choir practice.  My best contribution to the choir was bringing my kids.  Mark started getting sick during choir practice and I don't know if it was gluten or food poisoning, but he was not doing well, poor kid.  I hate that he has to deal with everything that he has to deal with.

The bumps and bruises of mortal life abound, but I'm grateful for this Christmas season and the Savior whose Atonement lessens the sting of all things mortal.  Because of Him all pains and sickness and loneliness and sorrow have an expiration date.

What a wonderful thing!
 

Grateful Friday

 1) My sweet boy from last year stopped by my classroom yesterday to give me a cookie because it was his birthday.

I love him so much!

2) Speaking of love, Adam got to see QE yesterday and I was jealous, but also happy for him.  The called over FaceTime and Adam read a story to her and then I did.  I told her to hug Papa goodnight for me and she sunk into him blissfully.  

Adam sent some pictures and the one of Braeden sitting on the floor at a bookstore, reading to QE, is my everything.  I heard that when you have grandchildren, you get to love your own children again and it is true and why grandchildren are so magical.

3) I'm grateful for prayer.  I have a whole list of people I am praying for.  I'm helpless to do much else, and  even though I wish I could do more, I feel united with them through my prayers.

4) I'm grateful for my siblings.  My mom has pneumonia and is in the hospital.  They all sprung into action and I was the last to know because my phone was silenced.  I had 47 unread messages in the group chat at the end of yesterday's school day.  I'm grateful for the love that unites us and for their sturdy capable selves.

And also we're all praying together.

5) I'm grateful Adam is coming home today.

6) I'm grateful to be a teacher.  It knocks me all the way flat sometimes and can be so hard, but it can also be wonderful and exhilarating.  We didn't have a nines skip counting song, because I thought the nines trick makes it unnecessary.  They wanted one though, so I made up one to jingle bells.  Yesterday I gave children jingle bells and they rang them in chaos and we sang the nines skip counting song for all we were worth and it was fun.  Later, we read a story about people getting ideas from nature and they were shocked by the story of someone getting an idea from shipworms for building a tunnel under a river.  It led to all kinds of discussions about why you would want to build a tunnel under a river.  We talked about the Chunnel and I ended up showing them pictures and we were miles off track, but it was a lot of fun.

Yesterday during "Brain Bins" time, a student was building with magna tiles on my desk.  She likes to be close.  I gave her an idea and she said, "I know you're trying, but that won't work."

I appreciated her compassion.