Grateful Friday

 I talked to Olivia on the phone last night and she said, "How are you doing?"

I said, "I am tired and aggravated."

She said, "Are you aggravated by something in particular or are you just generally aggravated?"

It is something in particular and it is December teaching coupled with compressed days (because of chemo) before grades are due and the iReady middle of year diagnostic.  Mostly it is about the ten children who WILL NOT sit down and get to work.  I have them sit right next to me and they hop up every ten seconds or they are looking everywhere in the classroom except at what they're supposed to be doing.

It is making me a little crazy.

Yesterday though, I had about 6 of them at my desk and it was a constant stream of Get back to work.  Sit down.  You can do it!  Keep working!

A girl right next to me finished!  She pumped her fist and in her darling accented English said, "Jes! I did it!"

I was proud of her and she was proud of her and it made me realize that they aren't actually trying to aggravate me.  They are trying to finish.  They want to finish.  It is glimmers like that that make me grateful.

It's a reminder that I need for everyone on the planet probably.  The person driving below the speed limit in front of me, the person who stops with their shopping cart blocking the aisle at the grocery store, my students.  They aren't actually trying to aggravate me.

For example, I realized the other day that the two boys who always throw their coats on the floor, can't easily reach the hooks because they are so short.

Everyone is trying their best.

I'm grateful for the reminder.  Hopefully it will carry me through these next days.

Birthday boy

 Yesterday Mark turned 23 and we went to Red Robin to celebrate because we always go to Red Robin to celebrate his birthday.  He loves Red Robin and we love Mark.

I took his picture while we were waiting for Emma and Adam to get there.  In lieu of a cake, a Red Robin menu....

Mark is easy to love.

This is Mark at 23:

He has the most eclectic taste in music of anyone I know.  He will talk about Rush's drum patterns or the optimal instruments in a jazz band or the raw voices of hard rock singers with anyone who will listen.

He loves astronomy.  He dives deep into space related topics.  He recently took a deep dive into the Declaration of Independence, just because he was interested.  He's like Adam in that way.  (I am more of a skimmer of everything.)

He is good at doing things, fixing things, taking care of business.  He is my butler/valet/footman (not sure what to call him, but I know those titles from Downton Abbey) for hire these days and I appreciate his presence as well as his competence.

He is going to school.  He hates going to school.  I am proud of him for doing it anyway.

He is definitely an introvert and bows out when he is done.  At the same time, he can talk to about anyone.  Adam took him with him to visit a man in our ward who is in a care center.  They were having a good visit, talking about old times when Brother Cordon was Mark's Sunday School teacher and even older times when Brother Cordon moved here from California.  A nurse came in to do something and Mark intercepted her because Brother Cordon was in the middle of a good story and quietly asked her to return later.

He's good in situations like that.  His empathy has been forged by two autoimmune diseases and it shows.

I love that he kisses my forehead every day and gives really good hugs.  He always says, when he walks away, "Let me know if you need anything."

Also, he means it.

Changed for good

 We had our work Christmas party after school yesterday and we watched Wicked for Good.  Matt buys out the entire theater plus gives everyone a $5 gift card for concessions.

It was a good time.  Third grade made a plan (and yes, that is the name of our group chat.  We are insufferable).

Holly isn't at Bonneville this year, but I was so happy that she crashed the party.  She hugged me and said, "How dare you have something happen to you when I'm not around to love on you?!?"

She got a health update:  it's been a little wild, but I'm doing it.

We got our sodas and popcorn and settled into the recliners and yes, I did fall asleep for part of it.  My body is greedy about sleep these days and it will take any opportunity.

I did enjoy the rest of the movie though.  

The movie is rated PG, but after Elphaba and Fiyero kissed, Matt, in his loud voice said, "My apologies!  That got a little steamy!"  Everyone laughed.  It's fun to laugh in a movie theater full of people you know and love.

When Elphaba and Glinda were singing, "Changed for Good," my thoughts turned to the friends who surrounded me.

They make me want to be better.  They love our students and work so hard.  They decorate for holidays and bring fun and stew over progress and troubleshoot how to reach certain students and how to best present lessons.  They cry over the heartbreaking stories and give all of the enthusiasm imaginable for the triumphs.

So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend

 

Every day is a mixed bag

 Yesterday:

One of my harder students was absent and I must say, I noticed.

I read A Wish for Wings that Work aloud to them.  They loved it.

Multiple students hugged me and one told me she loves me before she left for the day.

A girl's glasses were lost and after an elusive search, I sent an email to all the other teachers and I vowed we would search again tomorrow.  Her mom texted me later and said they'd been found in a hidden pocket of her jacket.  Hurray!

A boy's birthday is during Christmas break.  His mom was so happy when I suggested we celebrate it early.  She said he had never celebrated his birthday in class.

But also:

Several of my students made hardly any growth on their middle of year math diagnostic.  And it matters to me.

Alissa's two hardest students moved.  Miriam's two hardest students are about to move.  My two hardest students are staying put.

Two students moaned, "This is impossible..." during phonics and wouldn't get to work.  (Another student said "whine less and work more" and that could really be in the above list of positives because I was privately high-fiving her in my mind.)

A boy who (isn't moving) but is difficult all day every day finally had to just come and stand by me during song practice because he was being such a pain.  

They keep me on my toes.  But I'll keep going back.

Weekend

 Fun at school:

In November we had jars in the office, one for Matt, Jeff, Caroline and Riley.  Students could bring change and whoever had the most by the end of the month would get a pie in the face.

They used the money to give Thanksgiving dinner to some families in our school.

Of course Matt won.  Two students were randomly selected to throw pie in his face and I love an elementary school with a good principal and that is all.

The field trip:

There were thousands of elementary students at the Marriott Center.  We found our seats; everyone was accounted for.  I was strategically seated where I could keep an eye on my live wires.

BYU does quality everything.  I loved the show.  My students loved the show.  They did a dance from Mexico and the boys in front of me whooped when it was announced and then were enthralled.  

Then they did a dance from Colombia and my Colombian boy was waving his arms in the air and bouncing in his chair and I was so happy.

Then we tried to leave.

I had a styrofoam peppermint on a stick that I had showed my students that I would hold up so they could find me.  I had three so I gave one to Miriam and Alissa too.  I led the charge and holding up my peppermint, led students out of the arena and had them line up against the inner wall on the concourse.  I counted heads and I was missing a student.  Alissa and Miriam joined and I counted again and I was still missing a student!  It was my nightmare.  I sent a boy to the bathroom to see if the missing student was there.

He was not.

The missing boy was not one that I was concerned about wandering off (I had a firm grip on that boy).

The missing boy was one whose name I write on sub plans as a responsible student the sub can turn to for help!

I found a security guard and he was wholly unhelpful.  He suggested that maybe his parents had picked him up.  I don't know what I expected the security guard to do, but that wasn't it.  I walked around the Marriott Center in a panic, praying my little heart out. Alissa took her class outside to see if he was there.  She called me and she said, "I have him!" 

He was missing for probably 5 minutes, but it was the longest 5 minutes of my life!

I gathered my students and walked outside in the falling snow toward the busses.  I felt wobbly with relief.  Alissa was standing outside the bus her class was on and said, "He's on this bus, do you want him?"

I said, "Yes!" I needed to see that boy!

I hugged him and told him that I was sorry we had lost him and I was so glad we'd found him.

In the crush of elementary students, he had thought he was following our class.  He was confused that his friends weren't outside with him because he thought he was with them.  I told him he did a great job staying in one spot when he realized he was lost because I never would have left him.

He looked pale and stressed and we went to the bus and all the rest of the students freaked out and said, "Where were you?!?"

I didn't think it was particularly helpful so I distracted them with asking them about their favorite dances.  Later, I asked my student (who still looked stressed), "Are you OK?  Were you scared?"

He said, "No."

I said, "I was scared.  I was panicking!"

A girl across the aisle on the bus said, "I think we all were scared."

When we were walking back into the school, he asked me, "Teacher, on a scale of one to a million, how scared were you?"

I said, "About 900,000.  I thought I would find you, but I was scared."

He smiled, satisfied that I cared I guess.  

I said, "I would not have left without you."

He said, "What if the seasons changed?"

I said, "I would still be there."

With that he went to lunch and I went to message him mom a "so we lost your son today...." message.

I would rather her hear it from me.

Ward Party:

We had our ward Christmas party and I usually don't love ward Christmas parties (I know my sisters are shaking their heads as they read this).  They are people-y and sometimes long and sometimes awkward choosing where to sit.  It's a me problem. (Also Shannon and Chris and Kim and Rod were not going to be there.  My pals!)

But when your husband is the bishop, it feels like you really can't gracefully get out of them, so I went.  We ended up sitting with and having a nice visit with two other couples who are about our same age.  The food was good.  They had a very short and good program (one song/nativity from some primary children and Adam was asked to "make remarks" and they were brief). 

Then I moved over to Cortney and Jordan's table and had a good chat with them (actually we were about the last people there).

So it was a good ward Christmas party.  Except I went home feeling kind of wonky. 

Lots of people asked me how I was feeling.  People said, "Well, you look good!" (It felt like they were expecting me to look emaciated or something.) And some people said, "It's good to see you out!" (It felt like I have one foot in the grave and it was something of a miracle that I was walking around.)

One man told me, while he was serving me some ham, "I pray for you every night.  We need to keep you around."

I'm not dying!  Do you think I'm dying?!?

I know, me problems.  They are kind and care about me and that means a lot to me.  I guess I just don't love being reminded over and over again that I have cancer.  I just want to be normal socially awkward Thelma who doesn't know where to sit at the ward Christmas party instead of sick socially awkward Thelma who people are amazed to see among the living.

Nate Bargatze

Ammon and Melanee gifted us with tickets to watch him perform at the Delta Center and it was so fun!  I laughed and cry laughed and it felt good to have a night out even though I was very tired being out past my bedtime. 

We took TRAX from the Courthouse Station to the Delta Center because Adam reasoned it was less walking for me and less hassle parking.  We were late (after a pit stop at the Lego store--how old will our boys be when they stop requesting Legos for Christmas?).  I had wanted to leave earlier and Adam said we would be fine.  (Every time we go anywhere our entire marriage that is the exact conversation.)

Well, Adam was right this time.  We slid into our seats and they were just starting the opening acts and we didn't miss a single thing.

Actually Adam is right a lot, we usually are fine.  I still like being early.

Sunday

I led the singing in primary, which is always fun.  In the afternoon a little boy and his dad dropped off a plate of Christmas treats--I think for Adam.  When I answered the door, he was greatly taken aback and said, "Hey!  You're my music teacher!"  He turned to his dad and said, "She's my music teacher!"

I think he thought I must live in the primary room.

Also Sunday I got to talk to QE.  I showed her the Christmas tree she helped decorate and she said, "I want to see more decorations."

I was ready.

She showed me something she was building and she showed me her tree and some Christmas pillows besides.  

It was a festive phone call. (FaceTime was a great invention.)

Grateful Friday

 I didn't feel on top of the world like Monday, but I did OK yesterday, pretty good energy.  Today my head feels fuzzy and congested.  I am not the picture of health, but I am grateful that a day to give my body rest was enough to put me back on track.

I'm grateful for the weekend.  More rest and fun times too--Ammon and Melanee had two tickets to Nate Bargatze they couldn't use and gifted them to us!  I'm excited for that!

I'm grateful for Mark setting up a wrapping station for me in QE's room.  I put a sticky note with a threatening None Shall Pass message on it and now I can slowly wrap gifts to my heart's content.  I won't have to pull things out and put them away.  (It was Adam's idea.  That guy is brilliant.)

I'm grateful I got to take a walk with Kim last night.  It was only one this week, but one is more than none and I love connecting with her.

I'm grateful to be a teacher.  Unexpected things happen so much, they should be expected by this point.  The other day a second grader hugged me and told me about her cheek being numb because she had gone to the dentist.  I know her vaguely because I taught her sister, but it's kind of delightful that random children want to tell you about what's happening in their mouth at any given time.

I encountered a kindergartner in the hall and he said, "Do you even know me?"

I said no.

He said, "My name is Jim and I just moved to Orem."

I said, "Well, welcome, Jim.  I'm Mrs. Davis."

He'll have my vote for president someday.

I need to remind myself that I'm grateful to be a teacher because yesterday afternoon was a doozy.  Every year I've taught 3rd grade at Bonneville we have made paper dolls for a Christmas Around the World project.  This year was supremely chaotic.  I have a few students who cannot be given a task with any level of complexity without going off the rails.  Some of the students loved it and created the cutest and most creative costumes on their paper dolls and some of them lay down on the floor.

We had a faculty meeting after school and Matt brought snacks and I laughed with my team and when we did a group project we joined up with 5th grade so I was able to laugh with Caroline too.

It helped.

I'm grateful today that we are going to BYU for Christmas Around the World.  I've been a few times before.  Never with school children.  Here's hoping we survive!

Sick day

 Nothing ruins a sick day like, well, being sick.  I would see something that needed doing and think, "Maybe I'll be up for that later."

I wasn't.

I was sick.

I did see pretty things as I padded around in my fuzzy socks, doing things like taking Wellness Formula (like it's my actual job) and refilling my water bottle.

Since I was also listening to the Follow Him podcast (such a great one this week!  I say that every week), I had my phone handy and snapped pictures of pretty things that caught my eye. 

If you're going to be sick, at least the world is pretty.

moody predawn with the temple glowing--woke up early, still got 9 hours of sleep

The low sun hits my disco ball in the morning only.  Usually I miss it because I am at school.

Tuesday night Adam went to a fancy work dinner and brought home these pretty glass jars.  I love when they say take home the table decorations!  Birds were flitting around the snow-covered tree outside and it set a lovely scene.  (Adam also brought me home a piece of creme brûlée cake which I was not sad about.)

Somewhere around mid-morning, I heard the tell-tale sound of a bird hitting one of our windows.  I hate it when that happens! After I ate lunch, I noticed a package on our front porch, right next to a dead bird.  (Sincere apologies to the delivery guy!)  Mark was home from class so I called him upstairs.  I said, "In my family growing up, the boys did the outside stuff and the girls did the inside stuff and there's a dead bird on the doorstep."

He generously didn't point out that he currently is doing all the dishes and laundry and went and got a shovel and got rid of the bird.

He also brought in the package.

(When you live with your parents you have everything but peace.)

Altogether it was a pretty good day.  I got a bunch of school stuff done on my computer.  I read my book and did a tiny bit of cross-stitch.  I also talked to both sisters and both parents on the phone.  Not bad.

Going back to school today; wearing a mask!