Weekend

 Saturday morning, I had the thought that I should talk to Marie Louise.  She is my dear friend and she has been through things.  Also, she is British and has a zero nonsense keep calm and carry on approach to life.

She uses the phrase "get on with it" often.

Saturday afternoon she texted me about family history.  I started texting her back, but decided to call instead.

I said, "I was going to text you, but it was too long of a text, so I decided to call."

She said, "Well I'm driving so I can listen."

I started telling her about everything and before I knew it, she was in my driveway and then on my doorstep.  

We were still on the phone.

She hugged me and said, "This is not a club I want you to be a member of."

I agreed.

We sat down next to each other on the couch and she listened.  I knew that she had cancer, years ago, and I guess I assumed it was breast cancer or I just made that up, but she had lymphoma.  She told me, "I'm not going to sugar coat it.  It was rough."

I would be surprised if Marie Louise sugar coated anything.

And here she is, on the other side.

I still don't know what I have or what the prognosis or treatment or anything are.  (There is a word for it:  scanxiety.  I think it is a perfect word.)  So her experience may be totally irrelevant to mine, but I still felt comforted by her.  She is an angel and I'm so grateful she is my friend.

I reminded her of when her husband was having serious health problems and she called me and said, "I'm telling you this because you're my friend.  I don't want a signup going around Relief Society."

Before she left, I reminded Marie Louise of that conversation and I said, "This is the same as that."

She said, "Well, that goes without saying."

She came over Sunday afternoon to work on family history.  When she was leaving she asked, "Can Adam drive you to your appointments?"

I said yes.

She said, "OK.  Because if it turns out he can't, I don't want you to 'be strong'.  Call me."

I feel so fortunate.  I mean, cancer, but I have so many people who love me and are praying for me that I feel fortunate.  

Mark's friend Marek is a regular visitor around here.  On Saturday, he asked me how I was doing and I went ahead and told him.  I figured Mark would tell him anyway and he is over often enough, he should know.

His eyes got big and he said, "Whoa.  I wasn't expecting that."

"Sorry," I said.  "You were probably just wanting me to say fine."

Then I told him that it showed how I felt about him that I wanted him to know.  I said, "You're like part of the family."

He said, "Well, thank you."

This morning I woke up to a text from Mark letting me know that Marek had asked his parents to put my name on the prayer roll at the temple.

I am really trying to get through one day at a time and not spin my wheels with worry and what ifs.  I am not good at it.  It's kind of like learning a new instrument, I guess.  There will be some sour notes.

All this love and support is helping though.  The prayers matter.

***

Today is back to school night and I will meet my students.  I feel nervous about managing school, but I will apply my one day at a time strategy to it too.  I will do my best.  I am excited to meet my students.  I have learned from the special ed teacher that a few of them are fighters.  Mark told me I should just have them sit together and fight all day.

I probably won't do that....