Surgery

I had surgery on my wrist yesterday to finally (hopefully!) get rid of my cyst. It is on my left handed wrist.

So I am one handed typing and grateful for autocorrect.

On Friday afternoon, the hospital called with last minute instructions.  They told me I couldn't wear any jewelry.  I said, "I have rings I can't get off."

The lady said, "Try really hard."

So I did.

Soap, ice water, elevation, a ribbon trick I saw after googling.  I got one of the three rings off.  (I haven't taken my rings off much at all, but definitely not since I was pregnant with Braeden 24 years ago and my fingers swelled.

They were stuck.

I had Adam try and he said he was afraid he was going to dislocate my finger.

I called the doctor's office back and said, "Do I need to have them cut off?"

They talked to the doctor and called me back and said yes.

I called my dad.  He said he could cut them off easily.  He said, "Stop by."

I asked him what tools I needed to go buy to do it myself.  He said, "Do you have pruners?"

I said, "Yes, but they can't cut the ring."

He said, "No, for your finger."

Ha.

Ha.

After I talked to him I told Adam what we needed to go to Home Depot for.  Adam said, "I am not doing that."

He was afraid of hurting me, which I can appreciate in a husband, but I asked him where his sense of adventure was.

Adam said, "Let's drive to Nevada."

He's always up for a road trip but I have met our to do list.

The doctor's office recommended a jeweler to get them cut off, so I called a jeweler.  They said they didn't cut off rings, but I could call the non emergency fire department number and they would do it.

So that was my next try and finally success!

They took my temperature and asked me if I had any of the Covid 19 symptoms.  We sat around a table in masks and three burly firefighters used various tools and cut off my rings.  I chatted with the captain about the fire danger from brush fires this year while he had a flattened spoon jammed under my ring, another guy was cutting with a Dremel tool and the third was dripping water on my hand because the friction made it hot.

It was a little surreal.  But not as surreal as my ringless hands.

The firefighters said they felt bad about cutting the rings, but I assured them my dad could fix them.

It's nice to have a dad who can fix things.

Yesterday morning we went bright and early.  Adam held my hand the entire way because he knew I was nervous.  He had to just drop me off though and wait for the call when I was done.  It was strange and the whole experience was kind of strange.  One second the anesthesiologist said, "OK, here comes the happy juice," and the next second I was waking up and they were telling me it was over.  But it was an hour later.

I was happy to see Adam.  He was able to be in the recovery with me which was good because I was very hazy on the instructions they gave me.

Before the surgery I asked the doctor when I would be able to use my wrist because I am left handed. He said he would put a splint on it for two weeks but after the initial 3-5 days(!) of keeping it elevated, I could use it.

I was picturing a small little splint and I got this:

You can't really tell in the picture but it is a few inches below my elbow.  It feels like a lot.  Emma calls me Clubby.

Yesterday I felt pretty awful and reading and talking on the phone made me dizzy.  Adam and Mark set up a little station in our room so I could elevate my arm on the bed.

Adam is having such a busy time at work but he took good care of me (Emma worked all day and Mark was gone too).

At one point Adam came to check on me and he laughed at my "spread" and took a still life picture to send the kids.

It's my everything hurts and I'm dying pose.

Also, I see the towel Adam gave me for a bib when I was eating soup with my right hand.  I see the cup he brought me with milk and the McDonald's cup from the drive-thru on the way home when I felt nauseous and he bought me a Diet Coke.

The wedding ring is broken but I'm keeping that guy.

Last night at midnight when I was medicated and frustrated and having a come apart (I was not made for sitting around and letting other people wait on me when I can't even read or be marginally productive), I found Adam in his office, working.  This month has been a beast for him.  Adam rubbed my back and said, "I have three Supreme Court decisions to tell you about to put you to sleep."

It worked.

Nothing like a little wrist surgery to remind you much you love your husband.

Grateful Friday

First of all, people are crazy.

On the one hand you have things like the CHOP in Seattle where they took out the police and thought that would go well until there were two shootings....

On the other hand you have people posting pictures like this on Facebook:

Yes.  It is a conspiracy by every health professional in the country....

People.  Are.  Crazy.

I told Adam the other day I'd never felt more jaded about things and he said, "I've felt this jaded for a while."

But.

We're not just sitting around feeling jaded.

We're also playing cribbage.

I'm awful at cribbage because you have to do a lot of math in your head and that is my kryptonite.  Adam and Emma are regular whizzes at it though.  We've been playing every evening.  Last night, for the first time, I won.  You can bet I gloated because it was probably a once in a lifetime experience.

When you have outrage fatigue, I recommend more cribbage and less social media and less news.  I'm grateful I have the ability and luxury to shut it all out.

I know that the surest way to peace is to focus on the right things.  My faith in Jesus Christ and hope of better things strengthens me.

Here's another thing to be grateful about.  Adam and I were at Target the other day (both wearing masks BTW).  They have cleared out the shelves where they put the school supplies.  The school supplies weren't out yet, but they will be soon.

It made me giddy.

Risks

There are plenty of risks I am not going to take.  I'm for sure a you-go-ahead-and-I'll-sit-here-and-read sort of girl.

One risk I'll always take is with a can of paint and furniture though.

I'm painting a desk, a book shelf and an end table.  Who knows if it will work out well.  It's just paint and it's just furniture.

I'll risk it.

One of these things is not like the other

I'm not good at thinking about money.  None of us are that great at it, except Mark.  We started paying our kids an allowance years ago at our bishop's suggestion because they had no money to pay tithing.  I always forgot to pay them and they forgot to ask me about it, except Mark.  Once the other kids graduated from high school, I stopped paying them the allowance (that we all usually forgot about anyway.)  But, on the first day of every month, Mark wants to know where his money is.

I told Emma I'd pay her an hourly wage for some odd jobs I have as well as piano lessons for Mark and helping him with his math, which is impossible to me.  I told her she has to keep track of the hours though.  I'm not going to remember to do that.

Yesterday, she helped Mark with some of his math homework.  I said, "Did you keep track of the time?"

She said, "Oh, no, I didn't.  I forgot.  It was only about 5 minutes though."

Mark (naturally) had his own opinion and gave me the amount the help was worth to him and therefore the amount I should pay her.

He's the child who checks the stock market like it's his job and sends Adam and me unsolicited texts like this "in case we want to diversify."

Adam said if he wasn't convinced Mark would become a day trader and spend all the money on fees, he'd give Mark some money to invest on our behalf.

Mark's eyes gleamed at the prospect, but he said, "Yeah, I would probably become a day trader."

Who knows where that kid came from.

Family reunion: our first

I didn't get many pictures so I asked Mark to send me what he had.  Helpful.  Thanks Mark.

I got the idea from Marianne:  establish a family reunion tradition now.  We rented a house near St. George for a few days and had a lovely time.

The drive there was mostly Braeden on a Zoom call for a work meeting and Emma frantically finishing a 10 page paper in French.  Gone are the days I had to plan distractions for road trips.  (I still need to pack snacks.)

Once we arrived, we did a little grocery shopping and spent a little time at the pool.  We played golf (the card game) and talked about starting a movie but then it was 9:30 and we all know that's too late for Thelma to start a movie.

Saturday we drove to Zion National Park but the canyon was full and closed.  Instead we drove through the Mt. Carmel tunnel and saw the beautiful scenery and went to the gift shop.  A national park gift shop is only rivaled by an art museum gift shop for awesomeness.

The people at the park told us that they would open up the canyon at 6:00 PM, so we decided to come back.

We returned to our little house and spent more time at the pool.

Anna fits in perfectly with my pale faces

We also watched An Inspector Calls which Braeden and Anna recommended.  It was so good!  We had an early dinner (which turned out to be the first of two dinners) and headed back to Zion.

This time we got in and it was perfect.  The light was beautiful, the temperature had cooled and it wasn't too crowded.

We hiked up the trail to where you enter the water for the Narrows.  It was one of the few times we remembered to take pictures.

There are Braeden and Adam in the background.

Adam took this one of Braeden and Anna.  I love these two together.

These two are pretty great also.

We hit Dairy Queen on the drive back for ice cream and second dinner (depending on who you were).  

Saturday, Braeden and Anna made us breakfast and we packed up and headed to Sand Hollow Reservoir.

Except it was full.

When other options are limited, the great outdoors draws a crowd!  Our second choice was Quail Creek Reservoir.  We set up a little sunshade for me and everyone else went into the water.  I had a good book to read and should have been very happy and satisfied, but I was hot.  The sunshade was also good at trapping heat.  Mark wasn't feeling well because of the perfect storm of changing his sensor and eating breakfast then taking his pump off to swim.  His glucose levels were all out of whack.  We still need to learn ways to make that all work better.

We left the reservoir after only a few hours.  We had lunch in Cedar City and then drove home.  Mark and Emma curated songs.  They had people create categories:  songs I don't like but everyone else does, songs I would listen to if I had to do dishes, songs that tell a story, songs that make me feel vague and uncertain, songs that have a message I endorse, a song from when I was 12.  It was fun and we sometimes sang along quite loudly and we sometimes said, "OK, can we skip this song now?"

I think we will call our first family reunion a success.  Lots of things didn't work out exactly as planned but it was OK.  We were together and we were happy.

Grateful Monday

We were gone on Friday--more on that later--so today, Grateful Monday.

I'm grateful for fathers.

I'm old enough to have a lot to be grateful for from my dad.  I have a whole lifetime of him being there when I needed him, his wisdom and wit, him fixing everything that needed fixing.  I'm grateful that I get all those things from him still.  When we were there a few weekends ago, my classroom stapler that had been broken was sitting on the counter for me to take home.  He'd fixed it.

Olivia took this picture of my parents recently:

I love how happy they are together.  The way my dad treats my mom and always has treated her is a lot to be grateful for.  He taught me what to expect and look for in a husband.

I'm grateful for Adam's dad, Linn.  We miss him.  Adam's sister posted this collection of pictures of him on Facebook yesterday:

I'm grateful for what he taught Adam and the example of goodness he was to me.  I'm grateful for the kind of grandpa he was and the relationships he forged with his grandchildren.  I'm grateful for him present tense too though.  I know he is aware of us.  I know he is proud of his children and grandchildren and I know he'd love to sit down with them and hear their big ideas.  He'd love to take them all on a bike ride or for a swim.  He'd love Anna with her red hair!  I'm grateful for the eternal nature of families and the knowledge I have that we will be together again.

I'm grateful for Adam.  I love remembering the way he used to read to our kids and the world he introduced them to.  He's alway provided an anchor for all of us.  As our children have grown, they don't need to be swung up onto his strong shoulders when they are tired, but they still need him.

He is the go to person when any of us are in a jam.  He has perfected the process of changing Mark's sensor and keeping his diabetic supplies ordered.  He listens to Mark's recounting of things that I for sure can't follow.  He talks about music and French with Emma.  He teaches her Finnish because she loves languages.  He talks politics and governments with Braeden.  He doggedly works hard to provide all the things for all of us.  He calls us together for scripture reading and prayer.

I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for organizing us into families.  The world needs good fathers.

I can't be something I'm not

A few years ago Olivia gave me some fleece scraps leftover from something.  They were Seahawks patterned so she thought of us.

I stashed them in the closet in my office until I would be quarantined and ready to tackle some projects.  (Or something like that.)

I can't be something I'm not, so I started in with abandon.  I had no idea how much fleece there was--a bagful?  I started cutting the strips into more or less the same widths then I started sewing them together in longer strips.  It seemed like it wouldn't be enough for an entire blanket so I found a small green fleece blanket that we'd had forever and I cut it into strips and sewed them along with the Seahawks fleece.  It was in no way symmetrical.

Adam said it was fine.  He said it wouldn't matter in its capacity as a blanket to snuggle under while watching TV.  He understands who I am.

Braeden and Anna came over and Braeden said, "Hey, that's my green blanket."

Oops.

So then I decided to give the finished product to Braeden.  Maybe that would absolve me from cutting his green blanket into strips (crooked strips).

I sewed a back onto the blanket.  The fabric for the back (a navy blue flat sheet from Target) is not stretchy and the fleece definitely is.  So now in addition to not being symmetrical, the poor blanket doesn't lay flat.

It's fine.  No one around here expects anything close to perfection from me.

Except then I started thinking more about giving the blanket to Braeden (and Anna).  Anna's mom, Amy, can actually sew.  She made Anna a gorgeous denim picnic blanket for a bridal shower gift.  It was both symmetrical and laid flat.  I started up an inferiority complex as I was finishing up the blanket, sewing not straight lines through it to make the misshapen thing less shifty.

I decided to give it to Braeden anyway.  He can snuggle under it and watch a Seahawks game some day and think about his mother who commandeered his blanket and made it into a wonky creation but loves him all the same.

The finished product in all its glory:

I apologize to my mom who tried to teach me to sew.

Good things come to an end

Emma and Mark are both working at the theater again.  That's the good news.  The bad news is dinner time.

Yesterday Emma worked from 2:00-6:30 in the box office and Mark worked starting at 6:00.

At lunch we talked about what time dinner would be.  Emma said, "I guess you have decide which child you like more."

Here's what I liked more: when everyone was home all the time.  I know, it couldn't last and everyone is glad they're back at work.

Still.

Goals

Mark in 2010, using my sunglasses to practice the piano because of the sunlight coming in the window.

All the kids took piano lessons when they were little.  Mark hated piano lessons.  And since he was my youngest and I'd fought all the battles already, I let him quit.  I didn't want to die on that hill.

This summer he has suddenly developed an interest in playing the piano.  He printed some sheet music (that has 4 flats so he's not sticking to anything simple).  He's relying on his native ability to play by ear and a little help from Emma and he is figuring it out.

I asked him (mistakenly, when will I learn?) if he wished he hadn't quit piano lessons.  He said, "No."

Silly me thinking he would change his stubborn stance.

In an effort to renew our efforts in our church's Child and Youth program, we met Sunday afternoon and talked about goals.  Everyone talked about their goals.  Emma is finally feeling a little lonely.  Three months into quarantine wears down even the most introverted I guess.  One of her goals was to spend more time with her brothers.  One of Mark's goals was to get better on the piano.

Yesterday, on my morning walk, inspiration struck.  Emma could teach Mark piano lessons and that would help both of them with their goals.  As an added benefit, I would pay Emma (whose employment opportunities are diminished) for her time.

I told Adam my idea and I said, "So I guess everyone wins but us, because we have to pay."

He said, "But we get to hear Mark play the piano."

Yesterday afternoon, Emma was sitting next to Mark and Mark was playing scales.  Willingly.

So everyone does win.

Adam

We went to Salt Lake City to finalize our flooring choice.  (Although Adam was just overwhelmed by all the choices and said, "I trust you.")

He usually trusts me, but sometimes he questions me.

He asked, "So why are we getting rid of carpet, getting wood floor, and then covering it with rugs?"

I said, "Stay in your lane, bro."

That is a good all purpose response when I don't really have a good explanation.

I told him he'd like it though.

I'm not sure why I have so much ill-founded confidence about my decorating decisions, but I kind of do.  There's a lot of "trust me" and "you'll see" involved.  He just lets me because 1) he doesn't care that much and 2) he doesn't really want to be bothered.

When we were driving, Adam told me about his latest reading.  He gets interested in a topic and dives deep.  He said, "Tell me if I'm talking about qualified immunity too much."

He doesn't talk about it too much, but I have to pay attention if I'm going to follow what he says.

He talks about different law cases and different constitutional amendments and I say, "Wait, which one is that?" because I memorized the amendments for a test in high school, but I surely don't remember them now.

He told me about an article he read that he found in the footnotes of a Supreme Court decision.

I said, "How are we the same species?"

Once when we were dating and both doing our homework, he was reading all the footnotes and I said, "You know you don't have to read all the footnotes, right?"

He looked at me like I had said, "You know you don't have to be honest, right?"

He said, "That's where all the good stuff is."

I skim when I read and am bossy about decorating.  He reads the footnotes and then he reads articles mentioned in the footnotes.

We're different, but it works.

We know how to get along.  At a drive thru, I told Adam I didn't want a drink.  He ordered a soda, looked over at me and said, "Yeah, make it a large."

I said, "Did you order a large because you know I'm going to drink some of it?"

He said, "Yes."

It works.

Grateful Friday

I just love being around these two.  They have their own sibling language it seems (or at least I don't know what they're talking about 25% of the time).  They laugh a lot--often at something one of them is showing the other one on their phone) and are excited to see each other and just quietly look out for each other.  I'm grateful to have them.

I'm grateful for their brother too.  Braeden called me the other morning while I was taking my walk.  It was nice to have him along for my walk.  We talked about all the things and a few times in the conversation, I thought, "This kid is smart."

I'm grateful my mom bought a new scanner and has undertaken the project of scanning photos and putting them on Family Search.  She sent us this photo of my dad:

I love it because I can remember it.  Those horses are Betty and Billy and they were these gentle and super strong giants.  My dad entered them in a pulling contest at the fair and it was exciting for me as a little girl.

I also love if you zoom in, my uncle Demar is one of the guys standing at the fence and I love the look of joy on his face as he is watching his little brother.

My mom found out you can't put pictures of people kissing on Family Search.  So she took this racy picture down.

It is a picture of my great-grandparents.  He died long before I was born, but she was my Grandma with the Brown Eyes.  She would tell me to take care of her brown eyes and I firmly believed that I had brown eyes because of her.  She was a storyteller and had a sparkling personality.  I like to think of her in heaven surrounded by people she loves.  I hope she and my great grandpa are kissing.

I'm grateful for families and history.

I'm also grateful for Nola.  She came over again yesterday like any good neighbor for another flooring consult and now I actually do know what I'm going to decide.  No duct tape involved.

That's a good feeling.

I'm grateful for my job.  I miss it.  I know that teachers are supposed to relish summer and having a break but I'm just ready to go back.

Maybe it's because the school year was cut short, I don't know.

I was at the school yesterday, dropping some stuff off and picking some stuff up and talking to a fifth grade teacher about magnets.  I truly love that place.

I'm grateful my kids are back to work.  They both are back at the theater and it makes them happy.  We are dipping our toes in going back to normal.  Kind of normal.  Not really normal, but closer.

I figured it out!

I keep bringing home flooring samples and puzzling over them and asking everyone's opinion.

Emma said, "Are you just going to get enough samples that you can make a new floor?"

Mark started singing, "I got it one piece at a time, and it didn't cost me a dime."

So, that's the new solution.  I will attach all these samples together.  Duct tape?

It's a relief to have it decided.

Mark

Mark told me yesterday that today is his half birthday.  (We're still doing that apparently.)  I said, "Is it?"

He said yes.

I said, "So what do you want to do?"

He said, "Well, get dinner somewhere..."  (He always wants to get dinner somewhere.) "...and watch a movie."

He had the movie all decided but I can't remember the name.  I did tell him it didn't grammatically make sense as a title and he said, "Who are you to say what is or isn't grammatically correct?"

I said, "I'm a teacher."

He went on to describe the movie and it is a suspenseful sci-fi movie so I will definitely have a book to read on the sly, just in case.

And he doesn't read my blog so he'll never know.

Also, he asked me yesterday if I've been writing my blog.  I said yes and he said one of his great accomplishments in life is that I write a blog.  (When I stopped writing regularly because my world tilted when I became a teacher, Mark encouraged me to get back to writing.)

He checks up on me, but he doesn't read it.

He already got his half birthday gift a few weeks ago.  It was a wall hanging for his bedroom that he had to have.  And he remembered that his half birthday would be an opportunity to get some money out of me.

There is one thing about Mark that you should know.

He keeps me on my toes.

This picture was taken 9 years ago but the attitude is definitely still the same.  He thinks he's in charge and he always has.

When he's not being a little tyrant, he is definitely one of my favorite people though.

Yesterday we went on a flooring sample expedition to Salt Lake City.  He fed me all his strong opinions about politics and flooring.  He went inside and bought me a soda at Maverik while I filled the car with gas.  He said, "I hope I got the right amount of ice."  He did.  I told him about the Seinfeld episode we watched last night and he laughed a satisfying amount for the storyteller.  He told me about what he is and isn't looking forward to in his senior year.  He found all the good music to listen to and he told me he loves me.

Ever since he was a little kid, he just randomly tells me he loves me.

I love him too.

Fluctuating principles

I have had an on again off again relationship with Facebook and I'm tired of it.  It's divisive and unhelpful in my life.  It's the only good way I have to connect with some people so I'm not going to delete my account, but I'm giving it a wide berth.

Olivia gave me a start of a yellow rose bush and I planted it in our yard.  I fertilized the soil and watered it deeply.  I'm going to give it as much attention as I can.  I know I planted it too late but I'm hoping the crazy cold weather will offset that.

If it doesn't make it, I will try again because Olivia has thriving yellow roses and so do my parents.  They came from my grandma and grandpa Dahl's yard and I want some too.  I won't give up on this one.

I am also not giving up on fighting the good fight on hospital bills.  I really like our insurance and I am grateful for it.  There are bills that have slipped through their cracks though.  I keep getting the same bill from the hospital from when Emma had her surgery in December.  I call the insurance company and they agree with me that yes, the insurance should have covered it.  They tell me they will resubmit the claim.  Then the next month I get the exact same bill from the hospital and we start the process over again.  Every month since January.  It's been a lot of fun.  But I'm not giving up.

Emma got a long overdue bill from the electric company on an account from her last apartment that she thought was all closed and taken care of.  She freaked out and I promised her I'd help her get to the bottom of it.  I told her that a lot of adulthood is the frustration of trying to figure out things like that.  It helps when the hold music is good.  I won't stop until we get it resolved.

My principles are not iron clad though.  My principles faltered and I turned on the heat.  In June.

Such a lovely time

I didn't take one picture!  Luckily people I love and who love me enough to let me steal their pictures did take pictures.

We had a wonderful weekend in Nevada.

Friday we went to Hyrum's graduation.  It was one of those unique Covid 19 kinds of graduations.  Desi was describing it to her roommate and her roommate was shocked that 1) everyone in the class had a truck and 2) they would then all fit on the football field.

It's Wells, Nevada so of course they all had trucks and I think the baby boomers were the only ones who had classes bigger than twenty something.

The graduates' parents were in the trucks and the seniors were in the truck beds.  They drove around the track and stopped off at a platform to be handed a diploma.  Then they parked on the football field. We stood with the Hyrum fan club outside the fence and I can tell you we were an effective cheering section.

Hyrum's sisters were responsible for decorating the truck 

The handsome graduate!  We are super excited to have him at BYU.  Emma made him a membership card to the Davis Dining Club.  It was pretty fancy.

There was a parade through town after the graduation and the best part of that was Olivia throwing smarties candy at the graduates and missing about 3/4 of the time.

The plan had been to go to a restaurant and celebrate after but I had this terrible allergy attack and we were all pretty tired so we went to Elko to our hotel room and spent a really horrible night.  Sometimes we struggle in hotels.  Mark had the best night and he slept on the sofa bed.

Saturday we went to visit with my parents.  We tried our best to keep our distance.  It was hard to remember to stay away from my mom.  I kept ending up right next to her and would back away.  My mom has been going through bins of pictures and mementos and she gave me some things including some silhouette drawings from when I was in primary, a 16 x 20 inch photo of me as a bald smiley baby and my tithing notebook.  When we were little we had these little spiral tithing notebooks to keep track of how much we owed.  It delights me.  I loved seeing the entries for $.10 here and $.07 there.  I told my dad that I demanded higher wages when I saw that he'd paid me $.70 for hauling wood.  He said he doubted I was worth that much.  I did have a record of my mom paying me $5 for finding some medicine so she was clearly the better one to work for.

In the afternoon we went to Olivia's for a potato salad making party.  I think I've made potato salad in my own home maybe once and I've made it with my mom and sisters many many times.  I love the process of making it.  And with our daughters helping it was speedy quick.  My mom made the dressing and I remembered when I was a little girl and my great grandma Jaynes was the one who made the dressing.  There's no measuring involved.  The matriarchs just intuitively know.

Later, my sisters and Adam and Robert and some of our kids were sitting around talking and it got a little heated as we turned to politics and the state of things.  Our kids were uncomfortable but my sisters and I have been arguing for four decades so we were fine.

At least no one pulled anyone's hair.

Earlier I had had a similarly intense conversation with my parents and I'd cried (because I'd started talking about my students).

I was talking about it with our kids later and I said that I was glad that I'd been raised in a family where we could disagree and express ourselves.  That is a blessing.

That evening we had a dinner to celebrate Hyrum.  Braeden and Anna came in time for those festivities and I loved having them there as well.  Marianne had my parents get their food first.  Then she had the "lucky men who were married to Dahl women" go next.  Robert and Edgar and Adam are a happy (and I should add lucky) trio.  They enjoy being around each other.  I ate dinner with them.  When I sat down, Adam and Robert were talking about the length they liked to mow their lawns.  I almost rethought my decision to join them, but the conversation shifted and I'm glad I stayed.  We stayed into the evening, visiting and enjoying being together.

Sunday was an even better day.  It was the day that Omar was baptized.  He was going to be baptized in Boulder Creek which was a fabulous idea and then the weather didn't agree.

It was cold.  So unseasonably cold.  It had been in the upper 80s on Friday and the high was in the 40s on Sunday.

It was snowing a little that morning and Olivia and her family prayed that it would be sunny for the baptism.

Tabor and Katie, who have moved to Lund, Nevada arrived and we were a happy group.  We gathered in Olivia and Edgar's living room with Robert presiding and my mom on the piano and Marianne leading the singing.  It did not take long until I was in tears.  It was just so nice to all be together and I felt the Spirit strongly as we sang together and some of those kids can sing!

Mark and Hyrum blessed the sacrament and Morgan and Marcos passed it.  There was a wonderful feeling in the room and I felt the purest kind of joy.

Lili gave a sweet talk on baptism and then Olivia and her kids sang a song.  Wow, I'm proud of my sisters.  They are such terrific mothers and women and I'm sorry I used to pull their hair (but they sort of deserved it).

I told Braeden I wanted him to be close and be ready during the baptism.  Boulder was running pretty high and Omar is just a little guy.  Clarissa's husband, Timeon is from Kiribati and since he grew up on an island, he basically grew up in the water.  Clarissa said he would be ready too.  And he was.  He wore a sulu and flip flops and white shirt and tie.  Kiribati is on the equator so you would think Timeon would be too cold for the high desert melted snow rushing past but as all his admiring cousins-in-law decided, he is a beast.

Also, the wind stopped and the sun started shining.

Brave Ruben baptized his little brother.  You can see Timeon downstream behind the bushes being a baptism lifeguard.  It was wonderful and very memorable.  The minute Omar came out of the water, Olivia scooped him up in a blanket and carried him up to Edgar who took him to their warm and waiting car. Ruben wrapped up in a towel and followed and once Edgar was driving away, it started snowing again.

So the takeaway is if you really need something, have the Cobians pray for it.  They got their sunshine.

Here's my sunshine:

Emma snapped this picture of my parents walking to the baptism.  I love it.  The winter parkas look out of place on a June day but I promise they weren't.

We all went back to Olivia's for Omar's confirmation and then a dinner.  Edgar cooked hot dogs and hamburgers outside in the falling snow and Adam joined him in solidarity (and because he likes hanging out with Edgar).

These cousins recreated a picture.  Here is the original:

Ruben, Liliana, Mark and Hyrum--they were all practically doing the splits on that huge horse.

Here they are now (different horse):

Cuties.

The snow kept coming and we decided we should probably hit the road.  Not too far on the other side of Wells, the snow stopped though.

It was 20 degrees warmer in Pleasant Grove than it had been in Starr Valley, but still cold.  Adam wondered if we should turn on our heat.  I said that on principle, we can not turn the heat on in June.

I'm very grateful we got to spend the weekend with our family.  It's been a long time since we've been together and I also loved worshiping with them and being together to celebrate big milestones in their lives.

Families are where it's at.

Grateful Friday

I was so so so (SO) grateful yesterday that I was able to get in to the chiropractor.  I had been on the waitlist for a few days and my whining appeals to the kind office staff finally paid off.

I had three ribs out of place and if you have ever had three ribs out of place, you know that doesn't feel great.

***

I am grateful for Mark.  Yesterday I was standing at the sink washing celery stalks that I was about to cut up and eat with peanut butter. (Is there anything better?  And it has to be Adams peanut butter and I'm not just saying that because Adam is the love of my life.)  Mark was out mowing the lawn and I saw something brown and still across the yard.  I thought it was either a dead squirrel or a deer leg that some animal had dragged into our yard.  Mark was on the other side of the yard.  The next time I looked out the window, he had stopped mowing and he had a snow shovel and scooped up the dead squirrel (turns out that is what it was) and hurled it onto the hill.

When he came inside I told him he was awesome (because I wouldn't have done that--I would have gone and found him and had him do it).  He shrugged and looked at me like I was a weirdo because what else was he going to do?

A few days ago, Adam had Mark check all the drip irrigation in the yard.  He did and he also reconfigured the whole set up in the front flower bed because he thought it would work better.

That is exactly the kind of thing either one of his grandpas would 1) know how to do and 2) just do without being asked because what else were they going to do?

Every time Mark is like his grandpas it makes me happy.

***

I'm grateful for Emma.  I love having her around.  She just adds this Emma-ness that isn't the same without her.  I love how she listens without any sort of agenda.  She's always been one to soak up and process information quietly.

***

I'm grateful for Adam.  That kid works so hard.  His capacity for hard work and also his capacity for smart work amaze me.

And then he'll stop working and grill chicken for dinner.

And then after I go to sleep he goes back to his office.  This month is a super busy one for him.  I'm hoping things ease up as time passes.

***

I'm mostly grateful today that we're heading to Nevada.  I don't even remember the last time we went.  Maybe around the New Year?  It's been a long time.  We are going to socially distance visit my parents and help celebrate Hyrum's graduation and Omar's baptism.

(Ruben is baptizing Omar in Boulder Creek and it is supposed to be cold.  If nothing else, it will be memorable.)

I'm so looking forward to spending time with my family.

Idyllic mornings

I try to time my morning walks in the sweet spot between the cougars are no longer prowling and it's not too hot.

About a month ago there was an early morning cougar in our next door neighbors' backyard so yeah...I think about it.

Lately 7:00 feels about perfect.  I put in earbuds and listen to my favorite podcasts.  I smell the flowers and feel the mist rising from sprinklers in yards I pass.  I duck under leafy branches of trees that spill onto my path.  I see a handful of people I know, also out for either walks or runs.  We wave hello and good morning and carry on.

It's one of my favorite parts of the day.

And I know that many people don't have the opportunity to take a lovely walk in a super safe (except, you know, the cougar) neighborhood.  I never see police but I would never imagine they would suspect me of anything as I stroll along listening to my podcast.

I used to not totally understand the term white privilege but I think I grasp it more now.

I don't apologize for being white and for my privilege because I was born white.  I am not doing anything wrong by being white.

I am sorry that everyone can't feel safe the way I do though.

I truly am sorry for that.

Collaboration day 2: change of venue

We had planned to meet at the school at 9:00 AM.

Around 7:45 AM, I got a text from Kate, asking me if I'd seen the district email about internet outages.  We wouldn't have the internet at the school.

I said, "We can meet at my house.  We have WiFi...and AC."

So they said sure.

And I spun into triage-deathbed-repentance tidying.

We haven't had people over in any way shape or form since March. (Besides Braeden and Anna that one time and they aren't really "company.")

The main floor is usually easy enough to straighten up but I realized that since we were doing some different online classes, Janelle may need to use my office.

It's not really a public space so I did some mad stashing and straightening.

In the end, our house was I-had-an-hour-to-make-it-look-good clean.  It was OK.

It was weird to have my teacher friends in our house.  Like worlds were colliding.  Adam emerged from his office shell shocked a few times.  He is in such an intense busy time, working crazy hours and barely coming up for air.

He was a good sport about having three loud mouthed teachers in his kitchen.

In the afternoon, Kate and I did the online class Janelle had done earlier.  There were three math tasks for us to do, the first two were easy and basically familiar and the last one was pretty much nonsensical.

I figured out how to do it but I had no idea how or why it worked and that was the point.  We were supposed to see that you can know how to do something but not understand why.

We're supposed to teach why and teach so children can conceptualize and represent the math.  I'm still in the process of wrapping my mind around the whole common core math stuff.  It's different than how I was taught, but I think it's good.

It's how Adam just naturally does math and it's why he's so good at math.  It's why I can ask him any math problem and he can just spit out the answer faster than it would take me to pull out a calculator.

I showed him the third problem that was so crazy town to all of us.

He said, "Hmm."

Then he said,  "Oh."

Then he explained it to me because it all made perfect sense to him.  He was gesturing with his hands showing me where the numbers were on a number line and how they relate to each other.

He conceptualized and could represent the problem and all I could think was, Adam is smart.

Collaboration

We have three days of collaboration as a third grade team this week and then more in August (When we have a better sense of what the school year will look like...I don't want to think about it).  We met in my classroom and the AC in the school wasn't working because it never does and since we also have major budget cuts as a district....I'm glad we're only collaborating for three days.  It was 83 degrees in my classroom.

I gave them t-shirts, earlier Kate gave us each a Swig gift card and today Janelle gave us mugs filled with chocolates and the chocolate melted in the hot classroom.

I love my team.  We are in 100% lock step over the essentials.  We give the bulk of our creative energy and time to literacy and math.  We brainstormed and came up with what I think is a great strategy for really targeting next year's third grade literacy needs.  We know they are behind.  Everyone is behind.  But we have a plan that will involve a lot of cooperation and planning but I think will be great.  And we also freely acknowledge if it crashes and burns, we will come up with something new.

Because sometimes the things you think will be amazing...aren't.

What I love is how we differ too.  Our classrooms have their own cultures that reflect the teachers.  I insist on silent reading time and the others don't.  Jamie joined us for collaboration (which was awesome because she is awesome and has so many good ideas).

She said, "The research doesn't really support silent reading time as being that key for teaching reading."

I got a little riled up (and maybe it was the heat).

"I don't care what the research supports!"  (Those words actually came out of my mouth and I stand by them.)

I told them about Braeden being a reluctant reader and I MADE him read silently 30 minutes a day.  It was 100% non-negotiable.  He read Garfield comics over and over and over and then he finally gave up and read actual books.  And then he turned into a reader.

I only do 15 minutes a day in my classroom but it is staying.  Don't argue with me about it.  Especially when it is 83 degrees and my chocolate is melting.

I also do art and music appreciation and other teachers do things like character lessons and insist on making time for class meetings to build community.

We have these tiny snippets of time that are, I guess, discretionary and I love that we put our stamp on them.

Speaking of stamps, Janelle also gave us each a self inking stamp with our last names on them.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love where I work and who I work with?

Respite

Adam has had a very busy work schedule and all of us were feeling weary and discouraged by the news.  We decided to head for the hills--or mountains as it were for a Sunday drive.

We took Braeden and Anna with us so we took two cars, Adam's Subaru and Joan.  It was Joan's first time on a dirt road.  I baby her like she isn't a Jeep, but she is, in fact, a Jeep and did fine.

The mountains were beautiful and restorative.  We tried to get to Cascade Springs but every route was closed.  So we drove around the Wasatch back up some very narrow and winding roads.  We got up to where the aspens were just getting their leaves and there were still a (very few) patches of snow.  We were at almost 9000 feet.

When Braeden and Anna were in our car (they're the popular couple so they took turns being with Adam and me and Emma and Mark), we were talking about our feelings of helplessness.  I said something about all the blessings I have been given and what am I even doing?  Anna said, "Well, you are a mother."

I am.  Here's my message to the world:

Braeden found that stick and said, "What a good stick!"  He asked Mark if he still collects good sticks.

Mark kind of smiled at him indulgently because he doesn't still collect sticks and said, "If you turn it upside down it will be a better stick.  You want the biggest part on the bottom."

My boys and their sticks....

(When it was time to leave, Braeden said he didn't want to take it because it was such a good stick and maybe someone had left it there and still wanted it.  I said probably their mom didn't let them take it home.  I said, "Sorry Anna, Braeden and his sticks are up to you now."  Braeden left the stick behind.  He is, you know, 23 now.)

Mark climbed up on a post and appears to be pontificating which is nothing new.  Emma stood at his feet and said, "Here Mark, trust fall.  I'll catch you."

But Mark just leaped down onto the uneven ground like a 17 year old boy.

How I love these four:

Spending time with them is good for my soul.

It is not lost on me how fortunate I am that I live in this impossibly beautiful place where I've always felt safe.  It is not lost on me that I've never been suspected because of the color of my skin and that I have always had opportunities and safety nets.  I never did anything to deserve any of it.

The horrible things happening in our country make me incredibly sad.  I don't understand the violence and destruction people are resorting too.  I don't understand how they can wreck their neighbors' livelihoods. I don't understand that level of hopelessness and fury.  I don't understand.  And I recognize that it's because I've never felt that level of hopelessness and fury that I don't understand.

We talked about it as part of our Come Follow Me discussion.  We talked about iniquity and inequality.  We talked about power and kings.  We talked about who our actual King is.  We talked about what we can do.  (Not a lot, it feels like.)

We decided we can vote.  We can try to be a positive light in our realms of influence and to the people around us.  We can pray.

I reminded them that we don't live in the kingdom of Davis.  We aren't in charge and we don't have to fix everything.  We live in the Kingdom of God.  We have a King and He loves all His children.  We need to follow His commandments and love His children too.

He is at the helm.