Little rolltop desk

When I was a little girl, my grandma gave me a desk that had been hers when she was a little girl.  In the same way, Olivia got a rocking chair from our great grandma Olivia.  Sometimes being a namesake comes with advantages.

I loved the little rolltop desk and I stuffed the drawers and pigeon holes full of treasures.  The roll top never raised and lowered quite right and then the wood started coming apart so I stopped trying to raise and lower it.

I asked Enoch to fix the desk and he gamely took it for that purpose.  Life got in the way, like it does, and the desk ended up in storage.

When Enoch and his family recently moved, he gave my parents the desk to give to me.

My dad fixed it.  Because he's my dad.

He discovered that the reason the rolltop didn't work so well was because there was school work stuffed inside of it.  There was also a Snoopy ruler my mom thought maybe belonged to my aunt.

I said, "I think it's my ruler," because I remembered trying to maneuver the struggling rolltop with a ruler.  My dad gave me the contents of the desk in a ziplock bag and I put the desk in the corner of our family room for now.  I don't know where its permanent home will be, but for now it looks right at home between the old suitcases and the stump Ammon gave me from a tree he cut down in his yard.  

I like what I like.

I didn't recognize the ruler, but when I turned it over, it was indeed mine.

Here's a spelling book of my grandma's from sixth grade:

My grandma had much neater schoolgirl handwriting than I did.

I was fascinated by this math assignment because I guess the teacher wrote out the questions in longhand and used carbon paper to duplicate it.

(I was kind of horrified by the math assignment because it had mice teethmarks all over it.)

Altogether it makes me happy.  My grandma, my dad who fixes everything, my childhood desk, school work, a window into teachers in the past.  It all makes me happy.

I could do worse

I am maybe becoming my grandma.  When my sisters and I were younger (much younger), we'd go stay with her for a week in the summer.  One of the days we would go to a movie, which was always exciting for me.  We would pore over the newspaper, trying to decide which movie to see and when.  My grandma inevitably had seen everything.  She regularly went to "the show" as she called it, with her friend and cousin, Genevieve.  

I met Nola at Water Gardens yesterday for "the show" and I thought (hoped) maybe I was becoming my grandma.

We went to Elvis.  Emma asked me if it was good, if she should go see it.  I said yes, if you want to be depressed.

It showcased a tragic waste of a very talented life.

It wasn't about the movie as much as slipping into a cool dark theater on a hot summer afternoon.  We each had our small popcorn and small Diet Dr. Pepper which along with our ticket, set us back $5.  

I love Water Gardens.  They don't show any R rated movies; they aren't open on Sunday.  Also, more often than not, no one is there to take tickets after you purchase them at the counter.  

Sometimes I just remember how much I love living in Pleasant Grove.

Just another summer Monday

Yesterday I watched a mother quail and her babies in our yard.   They followed her around until they didn't, then she'd gather them up and they'd follow her again.  I felt mother quail vibes inside the house too.  Mark started his new job at WGU.  He is doing the training at home and every time I'd walk by the closed office door, I'd strain my ears to listen.  I don't know what I was listening for and I never heard anything anyway except soft murmuring voices.  It's weird to have your child start a new job, but at home.  It was different when Emma started working there, also at home.  Emma's been scarily independent since she was a toddler and I hardly ever worry about her.  

During Mark's lunch break, I was whining about all the un-fun errands I had to run.  He said, "Well, the only way through is through."

Fine.

So I did all my errands.  Oil change, post office, Costco.  

When you get your oil changed at Grease Monkey in Pleasant Grove, expect something fancy.

I swung by my school to pick up some things and I saw two of my favorites:  Emily and Jamie.  Emily and I chatted a minute and then I saw Jamie and we were so happy to see each other.  I said, "I need to talk to you!"  

She said, "I have time."

We talked about all the things and the seismic changes that are stressing me out. She both commiserated with and calmed me.  She is the type of person you always want on your team.

I ordered a new teacher planner last week and it was on the doorstep when I got home, having been delivered by your friend and mine, Amazon.  It felt like a reward for being a good girl and getting my oil changed.

Is there anything better than a new planner?  

Maybe air conditioning.  It's hot.

It wasn't quite hot enough for me to swim though.  We went to the Provo Rec. Center after Adam got home.  Adam and Mark swam and I read Gone with the Wind.  Man, that's a long book.  I'm about halfway done and the war just ended.  I wish I could say it's smooth sailing from here, but I know the story.

Weekend

Saturday morning, Adam and I helped clean the church.  We were there with the Palmers and Walkers and you could do a lot worse.  We got breakfast at McDonald's afterward, like you do.

Saturday Adam and I also spent a certain amount of time preparing for Sunday.  He was speaking in sacrament meeting and I was teaching Relief Society.  We also did our grocery shopping and one thing I love about this time of year are the fruits and vegetables to buy. For the past few weeks, strawberries have been $.98/pound!  Don't the strawberries know about the pandemic/supply chain/inflation?  I don't know.  

Don't tell them.

We discovered a new show on Netflix Man vs. Bee.  We have watched two episodes so far and it is very stressful.  Each episode is around 10 minutes long, which is honestly all I can take.

Adam's talk was very good and my lesson was survived.  

We were both relieved when it was over.  Then we had more meetings all afternoon.  

Emma ended up not coming to dinner because she had a head-ache so we ate vegetarian food without her.  (Mark was nonplussed.)  I loved our dinner though.  We made brown rice and had black beans and roasted sweet potatoes, cauliflower, brussels sprouts and red pepper.  Then we had fresh cucumber and grape tomatoes and pesto ranch dressing.  I put salted peanuts on mine for good measure.

I loved it!

Maybe this will become a recipe blog, but I doubt it.

We went to a park and played Mölkky, which is a Finnish game and Adam beat us in both games which I guess just goes to show his mission gave him an advantage.  

He is also the only one who can say Mölkky correctly.

We talked to Lady Eleanor (as Adam calls her) on the drive home.  (And also Braeden and Anna.)  Anna sent a video of her giggling and she has a fancy new crib so she is growing up before our eyes.

We ate strawberries and whipped cream on bread pudding when we got home (except Mark skipped the bread pudding, which he doesn't like anyway so that was convenient).

Anytime a weekend ends in strawberries and whipped cream, I will call it a success.

Grateful Friday

In no particular order, here's what I'm grateful for today:

• staying up a little later
• sleeping a little later
• being home on slow mornings, watering a plant there, reading something interesting there
• summer sunsets
• Adam's home
• my classroom--I've been going for a few hours here and there to work on projects.  It feels unsettling because summer school is happening in my classroom and another teacher's stuff is all over my desk and students I don't know have name tags on desks.  It is still my classroom though.  And I get excited for school to start, as much as I am enjoying summer.
• I am still basking in the happiness of last week.  I am so grateful that we got to go to the temple with Emma.  It was a glimpse of heaven.  And I keep looking at pictures.

How it went

Overall, Mark and I had a good time.  We had a pleasant drive in the morning, listening to music and talking.  We picked up our two cute workers, Ammon and Omar.  Ammon is serious and capable and reminds me of his dad.  Omar is chatty and fearless and reminds me of his mom.  I loved spending a little time with them.  Mark used the string trimmer and Ammon mowed and I attacked overgrown bushes and Omar was my charming assistant.  He gathered up the trimmings and took them to "Mt. Crumpit to dump it."

(I designated a spot behind the house as Mt. Crumpit.)

We saw three snakes and baby birds in a nest but zero mice so I was glad about that.

Very minimal progress has happened inside the house, but I guess we should be grateful we aren't waiting for a place to live.  

As I dug and clipped in the flower beds, I felt a little like Mary Lennox in The Secret Garden.  It was exciting to find things like hens and chicks underneath everything.  I texted Olivia a picture of a plant and asked her if it was a friend or foe.  She said probably a weed.  I asked Ammon's and Omar's opinions a few times and they'd tell me things like, "Our mom has a lot of that, I don't think it's a weed."  Olivia told me the plants on the side of the garage are goldenrod and will bloom in August.

I have a lot to learn.

But I like it.  I loved working in flowerbeds my grandma planted.  

Olivia had us for lunch.  My parents were there as well as Marianne and Mason (who is doing a little work for them this week).  It was a lovely time sitting in the shade on Olivia's front porch, chatting about our elementary teachers.  My parents didn't love one of my favorite teachers because we did a lot of art projects and not as much school work.  She was one of my favorite teachers because we did a lot of art projects.

I took my crew back to work.  After a few hours, Mark and Omar were both struggling with allergies (they're both allergic to grass so it wasn't a fabulous activity for them) so I decided to call it good for the day. 

We dropped off the boys and then stopped at my parents' in hopes my dad could sharpen the clippers that were sort of a mess.  I said, "Is that fixable?"

He said, "There's nothing I can't do."

I said, "I know.  That's why I am here."

He went to his shop with the clippers and I chatted with my mom and Mark fell asleep on the living room floor.  He had had enough benadryl to knock him out cold.

My dad took me on the front porch and we rocked on the swing and he said he was going to "overstep."  He didn't though.  He gave me advice and we had a good chat.

I'm so grateful for my good parents.  They are my anchors and fix a lot more in my life than just my clippers. 

Mark and I drove home and Mark was either asleep or grouchy most of the way home.  When we neared Salt Lake, he perked up a little--I think the benadryl wore off--and we listened to a few episodes of a podcast about Watergate.  We pushed on for a late dinner at Apollo burger in Lehi (they have gluten free buns).  I assessed that we looked pretty rough rolling into there.  Mark was a little sunburned (he didn't need me to put sunscreen on for him because he could do it--why are children always a little bit like toddlers?), we were both covered in dust, our eyes were sort of bloodshot from allergies, and I had cuts and scratches all over my hands and arms. 

We made it home finally and after showering, we were both none worse for the wear.  My only regret for the day is that I didn't take before and after pictures because I want something to show for it!

Marky and me time

A few nights ago, Mark texted, wondering if he should invite Marek to dinner.  Then he texted this:

I love Marek, but I opted for Marky and Me time (Adam was out of town).

He told me about his lunch with Geri and Emma and his afternoon at Emma's.  I told him about my abysmal day.

I felt better.

We went to the Tuesday movie.  The kid behind the counter asked, "Are you aware of the Tuesday deal?"

Friend, would we be here at 10:00 AM on a Tuesday morning if we weren't?

$5 for the movie and a popcorn and a drink.  What a great country!

Mark wanted to see Top Gun Maverick.  I didn't have a strong desire to see it, but it turned out that it was great fun.  Mark and I whispered predictions and laughed and no one even cared because it was 10:00 AM on a Tuesday morning at Water Gardens.  At one point, I whispered I had to go to the bathroom.  Mark said, "You can wait."

I said, "No."

When I got back, he told me what I'd missed.  Marky and me is a good thing.

The drive home, we talked over each other about how much we liked the movie.  We drew all the parallels between it and Star Wars.  You couldn't grow up in this family and not liken everything to Star Wars.  Those are the facts.

We puzzled over replacing the head of the string trimmer.  It's not for nothing that Mark has been following Lego and IKEA instructions his whole life.  He figured it out.

Over dinner, we rehashed Top Gun.  We want Adam and Emma to go watch it with us.

Today we're going to Nevada, to do yard work at our house.  We have a cooler packed and Joan loaded with yard implements.  I'm looking forward to a day of Marky and me.

You don't have to tell me how much time has passed and everything that has happened between then and now.  I lived it.  But I'm still grateful to be the mother of this kid!

Choices > Control

Control.  I hate it when things are "out of control."  I know enough to know I can't control everything, but I still kind of think I should be able to.

Spoiler alert:  I can't control things.

I can't control my children, the behemoth structure that is being built right next door, the weather, the details of my job, the fact that they still haven't picked up our recycling that was supposed to be picked up last Thursday.

Rats.

I heard awhile ago, that while you don't have control, you have choices.  What a freeing thought.  I do have choices.  Yesterday was a little rocky when I stopped by the school to paint a bookshelf.  I love my school and want things to stay the same and they...aren't.  I can't control that, but I have choices.

In everything I have choices!  Amazing!

Right now I choose to go call the garbage pickup people, again.

Happiest of weekends

Saturday we went to the Mt. Timpanogos temple with Emma.  I have thought about Emma every time I've been in the temple since she was born.  I loved being there with her and was grateful for all of our family that came to share the day with us.  It felt like pure joy.

Mason, Desi, Marianne, Clarissa, my mom, my dad, Geri, Braeden, Anna, Adam, Emma, Me, Vanessa (Emma's friend), Olivia, Lili and Edgar.  Clarissa's husband, Timeon, was there too, but he left before the picture.

It was wonderful to be surrounded by so many people who show us such love.  Firm as the mountains around us, stalwart and brave (they) stand.

Afterward we went to Black Bear Diner for a very slow dinner.  We took a picture of my mom with her girls and their girls.

Desi, Marianne, Clarissa, Olivia, Lili, me, Emma and my mom.  Missing are Marianne's girls: Liberty and Carolina.  These women are my everything.

Sunday after church, we hustled our food prep and then went to the Carlsons' for Eleanor's blessing.  Another joyful time!  We love Anna's family completely and it is wonderful that we share our deep affection for these three:

Eleanor's dress was brought back from Belgium where Mark Carlson served his mission.  Anna and her sister wore it for their blessings too.  Eleanor looks a little stressed in this picture, but she was a champion considering how many people were there, wanting to admire her.

Braeden blessed his sweet baby and it was a time when my joy leaked out my eyes a little.

Here is who help bless Eleanor:  Braeden, Adam and the Marks

This boy has been the sun and I've been a planet basking in his light ever since he was born.

We took a four generation picture:

And a five generation picture:

All the best days in my life have been surrounded by my family and usually part of making covenants or participating in ordinances in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It is easy to feel loved by my Heavenly Father when I consider these happy happy days!

Space between

Yesterday Braeden and Anna and Baby E went to the Carlson's for a few days.  I finished the pantry (my stackable drawers finally arrived!) and took a nap and felt kind of droopy.  I think Adam and Mark and I all have some kind of low grade sickness.  We all three had sore throats and felt extra tired.  Geri is coming this afternoon and today Mark and I are going to go grocery shopping.  The fact that Mark is going with me makes it feel less daunting.  Figuring out meals and what to feed people is not my strong suit.  It feels like something grandmas should be able to pull off with panache.  

Last week I called Marianne for help with meals.  She sent me an email with half a dozen crowd pleasing recipes.

I know enough to know to call Marianne.

I am looking forward to the rest of the week.  It will be a happy time.  We will be together, that is enough. 

Happy days

Yesterday was a wonderful day, just being home.  (Although Adam and I did take a quick trip to Home Depot....)

We held Baby E and talked to her and sang to her and read to her.

I pulled out my box of board books, some of them a little worse for the wear, but well loved.

Later, Braeden read to her and it made my heart sing.

She was taking Goodnight Moon very seriously.  I love watching her little eyes take everything in as she processes the world around her.  What a miracle babies are!  She loves our ceiling fan and Emma's phone case.  I love watching her concentrate as she tries to make sounds.  She'll be talking someday and we all want to know what she has to say!

I don't know if it was the board books making him sentimental, or having his brother home, but Mark pulled out the box of Bionicles.  When I went upstairs to bed, this was happening.

I am glad those three are mine.

This morning when I opened my computer, this was on the screen.

Braeden borrowed my computer yesterday when he had a meeting with some people he is doing a research project with this summer.  Emma told us last night about the trip she is taking to San Francisco in July.  Mark found out yesterday he got the job at WGU he interviewed for and will start working there in a few weeks.  They may still like Bionicles, but my children are grown ups.

Weekend

We went to Nevada on Saturday.  The whole day felt like a race.  We stopped and picked up Emma, we went back to her apartment when we were several blocks away because she forgot church shoes, we went to Floor and Decor and got tile and shower shelves for Pleasant Hill (the name we have given our house in Starr Valley because My Grandparents' House is a lot to say).

We went to Elko to celebrate Isaiah's graduation.  It was so nice to visit with Enoch and Jennifer for a few minutes.  They're moving to Portland soon, which is sad because we won't see them as often but gives us a reason to detour when we go to Seattle.

From there, the race continued.  We dropped Emma and Mark off at Costa Vida so Mark could fuel up on some gluten free filling food.  Adam and I went to Spring Creek to buy a lawn mower for PH (an even shorter name I just created!).  We were following google maps and it led us on a three mile roundabout detour which was...exciting.  We ordered the lawnmower, pick up the kids and hurried to Wells for Morgan's graduation party.  It was fun to see people there and visit and eat and try to keep my plate from blowing away.  It was a windy day and also Wells is never not windy.

By then Braeden and Anna and Baby E were at my parents' house and that was my next destination to hurry.  Poor little baby had had a long day in the car and I had decided earlier in the day that my grandma name would be Nana because Braeden had been calling me Grandma Thelma and I didn't like that.  (They'd called Anna's mom Grandma Amy and she didn't like it either.  We'd both said we didn't care what we were called as grandmas, but it turns out we do...)  Also, I came up with the (maybe I'll patent it) Nana Pose.  If I held her facing away from me and if I bounced enthusiastically, we could achieve a tentative peace.  The Nana Pose.

A bunch of us went over to PH to see the progress and then we went to where some of the brick from the house that burned has been languishing in the sagebrush.  I had the idea I wanted to redo the hearth where the propane stove sits using bricks from the old house.  Sentimental? Who me?  It was an adventure in my sandals climbing between sagebrush and rocks for bricks.  Lucette and Azure were great brick finders and Ammon cheerfully helped me in my harebrained task.  We were prying bricks apart and knocking off the mortar and I said, "I imagine Grandma and Grandpa looking down at me doing this and wondering why."

Ammon said, "They're probably thinking, we know it's hard to get building materials right now, but is it that hard?"

Tabor and family eventually came and we had a weiner roast using willows and gathered around my parents fire pit, which is also made of the red bricks.  I was holding the baby and two people made me s'mores so I felt like the winner.

Sunday Liliana spoke in church because she is leaving soon for her mission in Costa Rica.  She is such a dear girl and will be a blessing to everyone she serves.  I had Nana duty during sacrament meeting.  I got her to sleep and then made the classic sit down error.  I did enjoy my time with her though.

After church we had a lunch for everyone at Olivia's then headed back home.  It was a full weekend and we saw lots of people we love.

Grateful Friday

I am so looking forward to the next two weekends and the week between them.  I'm calling it Party Week in my head (and apparently on my blog).

We're going to Nevada and then back home where Braeden and Anna and baby will be in and out as we share them with Anna's parents.  Adam's mom is coming.  Next weekend Emma is going to the temple and Braeden is blessing their baby.  It's a lot of wonderfulness.

I'm thinking through preparations and I'm really bad at planning meals.  I told Adam that I never know what to eat when we have company.  He said, "You never know what to eat when we don't have company too."  He's not wrong.

I am still looking forward to it all!  I'm grateful for time spent together.

Yesterday afternoon Adam and I went to BYU for a choir performance.  We miss those!  Emma was in a BYU Women's Chorus reunion choir.  Clarissa was too so it was very fun to see both of those songbirds perform.  It was in the Museum of Art which was lovely.  We sat with Timeon in the mezzanine on chairs pulled over from the restaurant.

Emma is on the left and Clarissa is on the right

It was beautiful and I cried.  It's just so joyful to hear such lovely music and to see Emma and Clarissa pour their hearts into their song.  I love it.  It was also a very beautiful spot with the sun streaming through the rainbow sculpture.  (I think we call that a sculpture?)

The last thing I'm grateful for today is that yesterday I had lunch with my friend Shannon.  It's nice to be free to do stuff like that.  We visited about everything and nothing and then when we were finished eating, she cleared her throat like it was time for the real reason she invited me to lunch.  She wanted to ask me questions about Family History.  Delightful!  

I'm grateful for friends and family and music.  It's a lovely world.

Patience

 I was on a tremendous roll.  I cleaned the garage!  I got Emma to go through the last boxes in her room!  

(The best strategy is to hold stuff up to her and have her say yes or no.  If she hesitates, it's a no.  She said it was helpful to have me there. She got rid of more stuff because she didn't want me to judge her.  I said, "I am not judging you!"  She said no, it's a good thing.)

The next stop on my organizing and cleaning up train was the pantry.  It was tolerable until Mark came home and there was an explosion of gluten free stuff to squish in will all the glutinous stuff.  Add the Capri suns (which he has in case of low blood sugar) and it was a hot mess.

I ordered some stackable drawers from Amazon.  I even measured in a rare act of responsibility and they were going to fit perfectly.  They were set to arrive from Amazon yesterday.  I pulled everything out of the pantry.  I got rid of some stuff and consolidated other stuff.  I made piles.  I waited for the stackable drawers that were going to be the answer to everything that ailed the pantry.

I got this email:

Meanwhile the kitchen looked like this:

I felt woeful.  Mark was home from work.  I wailed down the stairs, "I need you!"  

He said, "OK," in a sort of alarmed way, but not that alarmed because he is used to me overreacting.

I showed him the email and the kitchen.  He said "OK" again (because he is even-keeled like that) and we put everything back in the pantry in a slapdash way.

Earlier in the day, I'd seen this:

I don't have patience, I'm just glad to see what it is....

It's summer but the teacher brain is still on

 My friend Bonnie gave me this on Sunday:

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. 

--Thich Nhat Hanh 

 I can't stop thinking about it.  

A few weeks ago, my friend Julia told me she had a plant she needs to bring over for me to take care of.  Julia is Heather's mom and when Heather was Emma's roommate, Emma would bring home her plants if they were sick for me to rehabilitate.

Julia now thinks I'm a plant whisperer.  I'm not.  I don't save them all.  I do like to try though.  I like to tinker with water, light, pruning, position and see if I can help something to thrive.

I never blame the plant though.  I just try to figure out what it needs.

I am reading a book this summer, Try Softer by Aundi Kobler.  I've been reading about how trauma and lack of attachment early in life can have an effect how people cope.  It's the kind of thing where the more I read, the less I understand and the more I realize I don't know.

I don't know about my students.  I know glimpses of their little lives and histories, but there's a lot I don't know.

The quote by Thich Nhat Hanh and thinking about my plants makes me realize that maybe I won't be able to really get to the bottom of what they need.  People are more complicated than plants.  It really makes me want to try though.  All plants need sunlight and water.  All people need love and security and belonging.  Maybe I can start there. 

Different rhythm

I think I'll get so much done on my to do list.  I'm home!  So much time!  Yesterday I had ministering interviews, phone conversations, Adam and I took Janelle to the airport, then I hung out at his office until Emma was done working (I had my LETRS training to do, but I answered text messages and got three phone calls while I was there).

I'm not getting all the things done.

It's a different rhythm than being unavailable during the day and keeping my head down and working.  My head is popping up every few minutes.  I'll get used to it though.  My estimations of how much I think I can get done will settle down closer to reality.

Braeden was one of my phone calls.  He told me that he had had the most harrowing morning of his life.  Anna went back to work for 6 hours and he was the stay at home dad for a baby who screamed most of the time.  She has been sick, poor little dear.  I'm sure that will not be what it is like every day.  I talked to Braeden about how parenting is leveling up though.  You experience much more joy and much more anguish.

In the joy department, the reason I was waiting for Emma is we wanted to go to Deseret Book and buy her temple clothes in preparation for her going to the temple in a few weeks!  It makes me so happy and a little teary to think about it.  I told her that every time I go to the temple, I think of going there with her.  We didn't calibrate our plans for the fact that Deseret Book closes at 6:00 on Mondays.  We got there at about 5:55.  I told the lady that I knew they were closing soon and we would be fast.  You know how you go to Deseret Book and, especially in the distribution center part, the nicest ladies on earth work there and sweetly help you?  

This was not like that.

This lady was bugged we were there and she wanted us gone.  We quickly grabbed a few things and will have to go back another time to get everything.

We met up with Adam at Bruges Waffles and Frites.  It was a new to us restaurant and was delicious and provided an opportunity for Emma to tell me I was wrong in pronouncing every French word I attempted.  I've said it before, I was much nicer to her when she attempted English.  It is still a delight to be with Emma.  I watched the drama unfold at a nearby table and recounted it all to Emma and Adam.  Sometimes don't you just want to follow people and see how the rest of their life goes?

After that Adam and I went to the World's Biggest Costco (because we like wandering around not knowing where anything is and we like shopping somewhere where they have goat cubes) and Home Depot.  

I have been to Home Depot more times in the past few months than the rest of my life combined.  

And I'm not that young.

But we got the garage done

In an effort to always try to be a little bit of a drama queen, I had heat exhaustion on Friday.

I started early in the garage.  Mark joined me and then took a break for a job interview.  Adam worked from home and when he had a break, we all went to lunch.  Then I got back to work.  It was hot.  Not that hot, but sort of hot.  I didn't drink enough water. (I had stuff to do!) And my body is not very efficient.  I think I'm part lizard.  I struggle to get warm, once I'm cold and I don't really sweat when I'm hot.  (Too much information?)  My face turns beet red when I'm hot, which is...attractive...it must be said, but I don't sweat.  

Adam joined us in the late afternoon and we made great strides.  Once the garage was finally done, Adam said, "You need to go drink water and take a cool shower."  I did.  I felt OK.  And then I didn't.

I felt dizzy and nauseous and awful.  Adam said to drink more water and I didn't want to, but he insisted.  I sat in a chair and drank water and started to feel human again.  We had planned earlier to use a Dairy Queen gift card I had for our dinner (Mark was gone).  I didn't feel like eating, but I didn't want to wreck our plans.  (Narrator:  she would wreck the plans anyway.)

We drove to Dairy Queen and went inside.  I was feeling nauseous again so I told Adam I didn't want to eat.  He said I needed something, so I said to get me an ice cream cone.  By the time he'd ordered, I couldn't stand the food smell anymore so I went to the car.  Adam said he would get the food to go.  I texted him to eat his food before he came to the car because I didn't want to smell it.

What it comes down to is that I'm a lot of fun.

Adam came out with a melting cone tipped upside down into a cup.  I said I didn't want it.  He said I might feel better if I eat.  I said no.

Several times on the drive home, I wanted to ask Adam to stop so I could throw up on the side of the road.  Also, I really really didn't want to throw up on the side of the road.  We made it home and were going to watch Netflix, but then I lay on the bed and closed my eyes and said, "Never mind."

I woke up a little shaky and weak, but as Saturday progressed, I felt all better.  We took stuff to DI and to the dump on Saturday.  Every time I go in the garage, I feel happy.  It was long overdue and is a lot better.

What's a little heat exhaustion between friends? (not fun, that's what it is)

Grateful Friday

It's summertime!  It really feels like it now.  I am grateful for and looking forward to all the summer things.

Long evenings, s'mores, slow mornings, food cooked on the grill.

Yesterday when I got home from school, I started cleaning the garage.  Ambition is high and it isn't stupid hot yet, so I figured there was no time like the present.  I spent a few hours and still have many many more hours to go.

Although I will rope Mark into helping today because he isn't working and I know his currency.

Since I was already embarking on an overly eager project, I decided to start reading Gone With the Wind.  It's on my 100 Epic Reads of a Lifetime List and I'm reading all of them even if I've already read them.

It is 861 pages long, so here's to my zeal!

In late July, the air will be smoky and hot and all the gumption will have seeped away from me, so I'll celebrate now!

Shifting sands

People keep asking me if I'm enjoying summer.

Is it summer?  I've been in meetings every day since school has been out, but today is the last one.  Then I'm fully ready to embrace summer.  Project city and I'm the mayor.  

My brain is alive with lists and sublists.  I want to do all the things.  I keep adding stuff to the list.  What can I do now to make things easier later?  (I usually think future Thelma is sort of incompetent, which isn't really fair of me, but there you go.)  What can I do to be productive?  What can I do to calm the crazy?  How can I read all these books?!?

I haven't settled into a summer routine yet (because I am still at school in meetings) so I am in this weird in between place where I am making plans but not really executing them yet.  The sand is shifting under my feet, but that's OK.  I'll get there.

I am learning from Miriam and Janelle.  Miriam has never in the history of the world ever not been sunny and optimistic.  When she's stressed, she says enthusiastically, "Let's go!"

Janelle 100% trusts future Janelle.  She knows she has good ideas and she knows she will yet have good ideas.  She also keeps a stream of consciousness type list going that she may or may not look at again.  But she doesn't need to.  Future Janelle has it covered.

Kate met with us yesterday too and I loved having her there.  We miss not having her on our team.  She figured out stuff along with us and helped us make copies, sort, paper clip, repeat.  Also she knew how to make a copy of our google classrooms which is amazing.

The world needs everybody.

On the rock our mothers planted, for us in this goodly land

Yesterday was a full day of sitting in one chair.  That is the worst kind of day.  Except the speaker we had was great, so there's that.  He talked to us about resilience and trauma.  Some of it was heavy, but some of it was hopeful too.

I loved that I was with my people.  I ate lunch with third and first and kindergarten teachers.  It could have been any combination and I would have enjoyed it.  For a person who mostly feels anxious in new social settings and would rather be left alone than engage in small talk, I love that I'm at a point with my school friends that we've moved past small talk.

I also got to chat a few minutes with Jill who was my relief society president in my BYU freshman ward.  I love that I keep running into her.

I also loved that I texted Mark before driving home to see if he would take a walk with me.  He said yes.  It was compensation for sitting in one chair all day.

***

Here's another thing that happened yesterday.  I was feeling frustrated and discouraged about something that matters a lot to me, but also isn't the end of the world, if that makes any sense.

I remembered Monday.  I remembered Emily Street and Ellen Jorgensen.  I remembered Arvella Nelson and Margaret Livingston.

Their blood is in my veins.

They did really hard things.

I want to meet them someday (see them again in the case of my grandma with the brown eyes, Arvella).  I want to tell them that I knew their stories and drew strength from them.

So I'd better be strong.