My friend Bonnie gave me this on Sunday:
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.
--Thich Nhat Hanh
I can't stop thinking about it.
A few weeks ago, my friend Julia told me she had a plant she needs to bring over for me to take care of. Julia is Heather's mom and when Heather was Emma's roommate, Emma would bring home her plants if they were sick for me to rehabilitate.
Julia now thinks I'm a plant whisperer. I'm not. I don't save them all. I do like to try though. I like to tinker with water, light, pruning, position and see if I can help something to thrive.
I never blame the plant though. I just try to figure out what it needs.
I am reading a book this summer, Try Softer by Aundi Kobler. I've been reading about how trauma and lack of attachment early in life can have an effect how people cope. It's the kind of thing where the more I read, the less I understand and the more I realize I don't know.
I don't know about my students. I know glimpses of their little lives and histories, but there's a lot I don't know.
The quote by Thich Nhat Hanh and thinking about my plants makes me realize that maybe I won't be able to really get to the bottom of what they need. People are more complicated than plants. It really makes me want to try though. All plants need sunlight and water. All people need love and security and belonging. Maybe I can start there.
1 comment:
This is so nice!
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