This Tiger Can’t Change Her Stripes

I remember one summer I was in Nevada, home from college, and helping my friend Marie shop for her upcoming semester abroad in London. It was an exciting time and we went to Elko and JCPenney. If you needed clothes that was the best you could do. Other clothing stores were over 100 miles away.

She was looking for a raincoat. She had in mind exactly what she wanted. This is something I always admired about Marie. She was determined to get what she wanted. She expected it. And she was patient and stubborn enough to get it. She tried on a few coats. They weren’t just right. She tried them on again. Nope. Not good enough. We left the store without a coat. She would find one somewhere else.

I am just not like that. I am not patient. It’s not in my make-up to procrastinate. If it had been me, I’d have tried on the jackets. Found them not quite right. Tried them on again. Then picked the one that was the least not quite right. It’s just how I am. And I wish I were different.

I don’t want to be a person who just settles.

So Adam’s taking us to London…Emma and Braeden and me. Again, since I can’t procrastinate and want everything decided yesterday, my mind immediately started buzzing with travel plans. What were we going to take? What clothes did we have that were suitable? What did we need to add?

I decided that I need a pair of good comfortable walking shoes. I am not a shoe person. I’d rather be barefoot. I have sandals I wear every day all summer. In the winter I stick to my black mules. They more or less go with everything but I wear them even if they’re not “quite right”. They are comfortable enough--and most importantly—easy to slip off my feet the minute I’m indoors. What they aren’t is great for walking long distances which I plan to be doing in the rooms of the British Museum (I can’t WAIT to show my kids mummies and the Rosetta stone and Greek pottery…)

So I determined that I would buy some new shoes. Some good, lasting shoes. Shoes that would be comfortable and QUALITY. I like quality but I rarely have the patience to save for it and I am a sucker for a bargain. Really, the bargain is usually more exciting than whatever I buy.

I called Janet. Janet the fashion plate. Janet always looks fabulous and pulled together. Janet would instruct me in the art of shoe shopping. She told me the good brands and I made a list. Janet knows me though. “They’re not cheap shoes,” she warned.

I readied myself and got online. I found a darling pair of Earth brand (one of Janet’s recommendations) mary janes. Mary janes are the cutest possible shoe so I was happy. Then I saw the price. $130! When I really splash out for some expensive shoes I may spend $30. Yikes. I was in over my head.

I tried to hold the image of Marie and the raincoats in my mind. I tried to remember what Janet had told me about the pair of Dr. Martens she’s had since college.

I still couldn’t spend that much on shoes! I decided to compromise. I’d go to the outlet mall. Maybe I’d find what I was looking for—at a lower price.

I talked to my dad on my cell phone as I drove. He asked me where I was going. I told him I was going to buy some expensive shoes.

He said, “So you’ll find some shoes that you like but you’ll see that they’re not expensive enough so you’ll say never mind?”

“Yeah,” I said, “Something like that.”

I wandered in and out of shoe stores. I was proud of myself as I passed up anything that was not what I had in mind…brown leather mary janes.

Then I got distracted. I went into The Children’s Place and bought Emma three shirts that were under $3 each. I was thrilled by the bargain.

Focus, I thought. Focus. Think Marie and the raincoat. Janet and the Dr. Martens. You can DO this.

I passed up some comfortable and comparatively inexpensive Naturalizer shoes. They weren’t “quite right.” I was SO proud of myself.

Then I got tired of the whole exercise. Done shoe shopping. I was ready to just get the first thing I saw. I went into the Bass outlet. I found some brown leather mary janes. They were on the clearance rack.

Did you hear the angel choir singing or was it just me?

I tried them on. They SEEMED comfortable. They were cute. And $39!!! I was happy. And tired of shopping. I bought them quick before I could dwell too much on the comfort system I’d read about on the Earth website. How Earth shoes correct your posture and are so Good For You.

As I drove home I felt disappointed in myself. I didn’t feel like I’d held out for the perfect shoe. I just didn’t have it in me.

Then I got home. I tried on the shoes again. They really are pretty good shoes.

And I can’t be something I’m not.