Yes, Jessica. I Do

I just looked over my blog and saw that I had a comment from Jessica. Jessica wondered if I remembered her.

I do.

I know Jessica from Connecticut. “Connecticut” isn’t just a state in New England in our family’s vernacular. It’s a time period, like the Pax Romana or the Golden Age of Greece. Certainly not a perfect time but looked back on through a very rosy lens. I learned more about myself and grew up more during “Connecticut” than any other period of my life.

We lived in a strange microcosm of Real Life. We women in the student ward. Our husbands were in graduate school, our families were largely still in the West and we were navigating young marriage and motherhood together. We talked about serious things and not so serious things…always with our children in tow. Our children were a part of everything. They were woven into our lives as tightly as we were woven into each other’s lives.

Jessica was one of the children. She is Mindy and Bill’s daughter. Mindy and Bill were the gold standard for future friendships. Adam’s first weekend visit to California to apartment hunt, he met Jeff and Patty. He said, “They might turn out to be our Mindy and Bill.” They did.

Jessica is almost exactly a year older than Braeden. Because of her status as an older child, Braeden acquiesced to her. Braeden was timid and Jessica…um…wasn’t. Once they came to our apartment…which was the exact replica of their apartment except ours was always more cluttered and messy. Jessica, who I absolutely loved because of her spunk and big personality, (I’ve always loved strong women!) yelled at Braeden, “This is MY apartment.” Braeden went to our kitchen and curled himself up in a ball on the rug in front of the sink. Poor Braeden.

He did like Jessica though. They had a grand time playing together in the innocence of toddler-hood when it doesn’t matter if you are a boy or girl or have the same interests or not. Also, Jessica was creative and very bright. It had to be fun to play with her.

I remember Jessica was always dressed with panache. I loved everything she wore and when Emma was born, I’d plop hats on her head until she was too old to let me because Jessica always looked so cute in hats.

I also loved Jessica because of the trouble she gave her mother. Now I loved my friend Mindy, but I never ceased to be entertained by Jessica taxing her mother’s soul. If for no other reason, seeing the frustration of motherhood mirrored on Mindy’s face was reassuring. Some days Jessica insisted on yellow rubber boots and there was just nothing Mindy could do about it.

We had other small Connecticut friends who are still in my heart. Do they realize a woman in Washington still thinks about them sometimes? Thinks about how old they are now and what they’ve “grown up” to be? Will my children encounter them some day at BYU or on missions and possibly remember how they rode in strollers and celebrated their birthdays together in New Haven, Connecticut?

When we left Connecticut, Jessica and Davis were 4 and Thom was 6. Jessica’s little brother, Jackson was an adorable roly poly little 2 year old and so was Davis’s little brother Ryan. Nick, Olivia, Martin, another Jessica, Zach, and Quinn have joined their families now and I wish we could all celebrate birthdays together still.

So yes, Jessica. I remember you and the others. I always will. Because I love your mothers.