Migraine day

 I get way fewer migraines and headaches in general than I used to.  The difference is that I no longer feel the need to be a hero.

I stayed home from school yesterday.  

I wrote wonky sub plans in the 3:00 AM hour and then slept for a few more hours.  I mostly felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

Contributing to my migraine was a super stressful and somewhat confrontational Monday.  There are strong personalities in those after school meetings and sometimes I'm one of them.  We all want the best for our collective students and we don't all have the same opinions, but we need to work together.

I stopped by Walmart on my way home for 4 things.  It took me 45 minutes.  I don't go to Walmart all that often so I don't know the lay of the land and I was looking for pretty specific things. I searched high and low.  Imagine me studying the boxes of lightbulbs for the correct kelvin number, because Adam told me that was key, while trying not to get run down by the blue vested guys pushing enormous carts and filling pick up orders.

It was a whole scene.

After that I sat in the Walgreens pharmacy window line for an interminable amount of time.  Emma called and said, "Would it cheer you up if I told you I bought you a Christmas present today?"

I said yes.

She said, "How about if I told you that I bought you a second present because I found something you would love on my way out of the store?"

Emma is a giver of good gifts and highly generous.  We're lucky to have her.

Adam and I had dinner with Mark (Mark Monday) and my head hurt a lot and I wanted to lay it down on the table, but the table looked kind of dirty.  Mark kept looking over at me and patting my shoulder.

We went home and Adam rubbed my back, which is heroic of him.  I slept for awhile, but then I spent several hours of quality time feeling like I might die.

Who has more fun than me?

I spent the day resting and napping and being mildly productive (if you count working on my Christmas list while sitting in a recliner productive).  We had tickets to The Best Christmas Pageant Ever but Adam ended up having church commitments and Emma ended up forgetting all about it.  Mark and I went along with Lili and her boyfriend Josh.  Adam bullied me into eating some toast before I went.  I still didn't feel great, but I loved the movie.

"Hey, unto us a Child is born!"

Weekend

 Friday night we pretended it was Saturday and went grocery shopping.  These are the kind of thrilling details you can come here to read all about....

Saturday we hit the road early for Nevada.  I drove and Braeden and QE called and she wanted me to read to her and I hate telling her no.  We told Braeden our brilliant plan to go visit them during the Christmas break and that is when Anna's parents are already going to go visit them.  So it was Braeden's turn to say no. We get to see them over Thanksgiving though, so we will share.

We also had good conversations and I love being with Adam.  Road trips are the best because we just have time to talk.  

We got to our house and a few limbs had blown out of the maple trees and will have to wait patiently until we can drag them away somewhere.  Otherwise the poor house probably felt very neglected.  We haven't been there for a while and thankfully my dad winterized it and Omar is our mousetrapper, which we appreciate with our whole hearts.

We didn't have water and didn't want to un-winterize just for the day so we didn't thoroughly clean but we vacuumed and the little cordless vacuum we have there is invaluable.  I set up some outdoor bait stations for mice.  

I would say it isn't personal with the mice, but it kind of is.

Adam and I organized the store room, which was long overdue, and I gathered rugs and bedding to take to Utah to wash.  We took a break for lunch at Marianne and Robert's.  My parents were there and Morgan and it was a delicious lunch and so nice to visit in their warm and cozy home.  (Our house was freezing.)

Adam went back to install thermostats and Robert and my dad went too.  I visited with my mom while they were doing that.  She had me pick out an advent calendar to take to QE.  My dad came back after a while and I kept quizzing him about what he wanted for Christmas.

I told him it wasn't about him.  I said I wanted to give him a gift, so he had to tell me what to give him.

Pretty much daughter of the year when the words, it's not about you, it's about me come out of your mouth....

Later, we watched a bit of Isaiah's game.  Enoch and family are there in Rhode Island watching a few games so we played Where's Waldo and found them in the stands.  (Enoch isn't terribly difficult to spot.)

Adam came over to retrieve me so we could head back to Utah, but Isaiah had already made three three-point shots (he ended up making 7 in the game and one 2 pointer besides).  It's fun to watch him play basketball.  

We drove home and were exceptionally tired, but we listened to Nate Bargatze comedy which helped. 

Adam spoke in church on Sunday and I enjoyed hearing him. I was asked to sub in nursery and that is a different gig since last time I was in nursery. It is half as long and there were three very sweet and calm children who tenderly played with the toys and patiently waited for their snacks.

As a bonus, my neighbor Jenn was the other sub and we were able to visit about grandchildren and adult children and how cute those nursery kids were.

Later in the afternoon, we scooted our kids out of Sunday dinner early because Adam had two meetings at our house.  (I made cookies then happily sequestered myself away.)

I went upstairs and Braeden and QE called and I read her two stories and she modeled how she was using a scarf to be Little Red Riding Hood. 

We're back at it today.  

Grateful Friday

 Wednesday we had an unexpected faculty meeting right after school.

Nothing like ending an exhausting day by being told that amidst the swirling uncertainty of the district splitting and us joking that our district will either be called "The Leftovers" or "The Scraps," our Title 1 funding will not exist next year.

We also talked about the fact that some in the state legislature want to drastically change the way public education will be funded (spoiler alert:  it won't be funded well).  There are many who believe that public education is evil/wasteful/the enemy.

We often feel like we are barely holding on and now our support staff will be slashed. It is wearying and discouraging to be told that all our efforts are neither appreciated nor supported.  

I looked around at the grim faces of my fellow teachers and I knew that their thoughts, like mine, were reeling because we need that support staff.  We need more of them.

We have many students who are a year or more behind academically.  We have students who come to us without their basic needs met.  We have students who do. Not. Know. How. To. Act.

The gap will only widen.

I didn't really realize how disheartening it all was until I talked to Braeden last night about it and started crying.  I guess it had been there, below the surface for awhile.

About the time I'd finished cleaning up the dinner dishes, I realized I also had a lot to be grateful for.

For one thing, as Dr. Seuss said, I have brains in my head and shoes in my feet.  I can keep doing what I can do.

I'm grateful to have a son who understands me thoroughly and knows what to say always.  One time when he was three years old, I was crying about something completely unrelated to him and he brought me his blanket.  He's always been like this and it feels like Heavenly Father must love me because he sent me Braeden.

I'm grateful to have such a great principal.  He said, "What questions do you have?  I have facts and opinions and I will tell you which is which."

He thoughtfully answered our questions and then he said, "This doesn't change what we do within these walls.  We will keep focusing on numeracy and literacy.  We will stick to the essentials."

I'm grateful for the stalwart people I work with.  I can't tell you how many times a kid is positively flipping out and an adult has a serene poker face and just handles it with grace and kindness.

I'm grateful that when I was driving home and my mind was mulling things over and I thought for the hundredth time since the election that maybe I should consider changing schools, an answer came into my mind.

It was a clarifying course to follow.

I'm staying put for now.  Just call me a member of the orchestra playing the violin while the Titanic sinks....

I'm also grateful that maybe things will be OK.  There is a good chunk of time between now and next year and maybe something good will happen.

There's nothing wrong with hope.

You can't make old friends

Erin and I went through a rebellious phase and this was it.  We had a hammock and it was forbidden.

We also couldn't tie knots (not an Eagle Scout between us) and we tied an excessive amount of inferior knots hanging the hammock between bookshelves.  When our resident assistant was there, knocking on our door in an effort to catch us in the act of using our hammock, we furiously untied 12 million knots (give or take) while trying to suppress our giggling.

We have both gone on to live upstanding law abiding lives, so I guess we got it out of our systems.

I love Erin.

It was my very good fortune when we were matched as roommates our freshman year at BYU.

We talked on the phone the other night, for over an hour, and it was sublime.  We decided we need to talk more often.

She is one of my oldest friends.  We knew each other when we were as young as the above picture.  We've visited each others' childhood homes.  We know each others' siblings and parents.  We have a lot in common and when I talk to her I feel understood and loved and I benefit from her wisdom.

She is a woman of faith and humor and resilience.

We've known each other almost 25 years and at any time in those years, if we'd seen each other, we could have talked like no time had passed.

You can't make old friends.

YEN

 If I have people over and don't take a picture of the table, did it even happen?

A lot of our guests wanted an explanation about my clock wall.  I don't have one except I like it and it's a pain whenever the time changes.

Also, I only ever look at the biggest clock to check the time, so no, it doesn't bother me that some of them are a few minutes off. (I welcome anyone else calibrating them if they are so inclined.)

Then I told them about how my grandmother's grandmother clock identifies as living in Hawaii because it is always 6 hours off no matter what I do.

Then Marcia realized I was wearing a shirt with clocks on it.

It was a whole theme.

We had four kinds of soups, bread and scones, brownies and peanut butter cookies.

You know who can cook well?  Empty nesters.  They've had practice.

I had a game planned, but we never got to it because everyone sat around the table for hours talking.

(And it's a miracle some of those men are still alive after hearing some of their teenaged antics.)

Two of the men got up and quietly rinsed dishes before they left.

It's a quality group that enriches my life!

Turkeys and limes

 Yesterday my students made fact family turkeys.  They were each given a domino and they had to use the two numbers as factors, then multiply and divide the fact family.

A turkey leg got severed and my desk was the turkey hospital.  I made a cast and then everyone wanted one.

(The cast clearly didn't do much for the math.  Please believe me when I say I am trying.)

They also wrote things they were grateful for on leaves.  I stapled them to a bulletin board.  No surface is safe.

I particularly liked these:

I am imagining there are multiple ways to spell it....

On another topic, do you remember in Little Women when Amy desperately wants to take limes to school, because they're all the rage?

Well, let me tell you, Mini Brands are the most exciting thing in the young lives of my students.  Yesterday was 27 school days until Christmas break so we started our advent calendar.  They were beyond thrilled with the little door and the fact that they are all going to get a turn eventually.  

I get a little excited about the door too.  It's cute!

They asked many clarifying questions like, "What if I'm absent, but my picture is behind the door.  What happens then?"

I told them that I'd choose someone else and we'd do theirs another day.  

They asked over and over, "So we all get one?!?"

Yes.

My little English learner exclaimed, "I LOVE you Teacher!"

I said, "I love you too, now sit down.

Weekend

 School has been a little frustrating.  Teaching division is not for the faint of heart.  My practicum student and I have been trying to teach them about the connection between multiplication and division.  I called several of my students up to my desk one at a time so I could help them.

Me: draw a picture showing three times five.

(They can do it; not a problem.)

Me: now write the multiplication equation that goes with that picture.

(Again, no problem. )

Me: now write the division equation that goes with that picture.

They write 3 ÷ 5 = 15.

Me: You wrote three divided into five groups has 15 in each group. Does that make sense?  Here are three counters.  Divide them into five groups with 15 in each group.

They honest to goodness take the counters and try to make five groups of 15.  Eventually they see it is impossible but we're not any closer to them getting it.

I dreamt about it all weekend.  In one dream my students were in danger and I was trying to protect them + teach them division.  In another dream, they were playing with hackey sacks in the back of the classroom, while I was trying to teach them.

Maybe things will go better today.

Friday night we went to a wedding reception for a girl who was a beehive while I was YW president and I've always liked her a lot.  It was fun to see and talk to so many of our friends.

Saturday afternoon we went to the BYU art museum and invited Mark to join us.  

I love art museums.

Also, our sweet little QE fell and hurt her head.  Braeden rushed her to urgent care and they glued her up (which would have made her great grandpa Dahl approve--he's a gluer of wounds).  Braeden called us from the car after the doctor visit.  He was shaken.  She, sporting a big bandage on her forehead, said cheerfully, "I have no shoes on and I am in the car!"

Braeden took her to Medicinal McDonalds as he called it because her favorite thing in the world is to get orange juice at McDonalds.  Then they went to Target and looked at books which, on second thought, she probably likes even more than orange juice.

I felt empathy for Braeden.  We want so much for our children to never be hurt and here we are in this mortal world where people get hurt.

I think her attitude was instructive too.  Sometimes we worry so much about our kids, but they are going to be OK and are just marveling at the novelty of being in the car with no shoes on.

Sunday was a marathon of church, family history with Marie Louise and dinner with our kids.  I had Mark move furniture to accommodate YEN, which we're hosting tonight.  Emma told me a story about catching a glimpse of her outfit reflected in the elevator at work and thinking she looked like she "won 5th prize at a regional dance competition."

She certainly can paint a picture with her words.