Birthday boy

 Yesterday Mark turned 23 and we went to Red Robin to celebrate because we always go to Red Robin to celebrate his birthday.  He loves Red Robin and we love Mark.

I took his picture while we were waiting for Emma and Adam to get there.  In lieu of a cake, a Red Robin menu....

Mark is easy to love.

This is Mark at 23:

He has the most eclectic taste in music of anyone I know.  He will talk about Rush's drum patterns or the optimal instruments in a jazz band or the raw voices of hard rock singers with anyone who will listen.

He loves astronomy.  He dives deep into space related topics.  He recently took a deep dive into the Declaration of Independence, just because he was interested.  He's like Adam in that way.  (I am more of a skimmer of everything.)

He is good at doing things, fixing things, taking care of business.  He is my butler/valet/footman (not sure what to call him, but I know those titles from Downton Abbey) for hire these days and I appreciate his presence as well as his competence.

He is going to school.  He hates going to school.  I am proud of him for doing it anyway.

He is definitely an introvert and bows out when he is done.  At the same time, he can talk to about anyone.  Adam took him with him to visit a man in our ward who is in a care center.  They were having a good visit, talking about old times when Brother Cordon was Mark's Sunday School teacher and even older times when Brother Cordon moved here from California.  A nurse came in to do something and Mark intercepted her because Brother Cordon was in the middle of a good story and quietly asked her to return later.

He's good in situations like that.  His empathy has been forged by two autoimmune diseases and it shows.

I love that he kisses my forehead every day and gives really good hugs.  He always says, when he walks away, "Let me know if you need anything."

Also, he means it.

Weekend

We took the third graders to Bonneville Park on Friday because they passed 1000 iReady lessons in March.  It took about 20 seconds for about 20 of them to be 20 feet up a tree.  After some coaxing, we got them down and some of them were supremely put out that they couldn't climb the tree.

Also, one of my students who was absent was at the park.

I don't think he was expecting the entire third grade to show up....

Here's what happens on Friday nights:  we debate tiredly and without conviction about dinner plans.  We don't care and we don't want to decide.  At 6:45, we were both in our pjs.  Braeden and QE called and she was also in her pjs so we were a club.

Saturday was a good day.  Adam did the taxes (bless his heart that I don't have to do that and also, it's for sure that he is the better choice), and I did all my housekeeping tasks that keep this ball rolling.

I finally found a source linking Matilda Anderson to her parents.  I still have questions.

We did our errands and I got some orange spray paint to paint some bottle brush trees I bought to look like carrots.

It didn't work at all.

I scrounged some orange paint in my box of old acrylic paint.  It kind of worked.  Someday the end result will match my expectations with one of these projects and it will be amazing.

In the meantime, here we are.

I scrubbed orange paint off my hands and we went to the temple.  We met Emma there and I enjoyed it.  I felt loved and what more could I want on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

It was so pretty outside with the fragrant flowers and a beautiful sunset that we decided to take a picture. 

We didn't get too many flowers in the shot, but you get the idea.  We took Emma to dinner and then came home to watch an increasingly upsetting episode of Wolf Hall.  I know Thomas Cromwell is going to be beheaded and it is stressing me out.  (Also Henry VIII reminds me of Donald Trump--bleck.)

I should probably stick to The Great British Baking Show, Jane Austen, and Disney princesses.  I have a low tolerance for tense situations.  

Sunday morning I added some palm leaves to the mantle for Palm Sunday.  Adam was leaving for church meetings and said, "Bring those to sacrament meeting."

I said no.

I didn't want to walk in with palm leaves like I was in charge.  I told Adam he could take them.  I said, "If you don't bring them home, you will need to go back and get them."

He brought them back.

Before church I got a text to meet with a member of the bishopric.  I was asked to have an additional calling and be a primary chorister.  After my meeting with Brother Ivie, I went into Adam's office and said, "I would think that I would have had some notice about a new calling."

He smiled and asked, "How much notice did you need?"

I am happy to be in primary though. 

This week it was Emma who bowed out so Mark was the only one who came for dinner.  As soon as he arrived, I had him hang up my newly framed paint by numbers I did last weekend.  He stood on a ladder with me saying, "A little to the side, a little up, no, stop."  

At one point, he asked, "Is that OK-ish?"  

I said, "Yes."

The whole gallery wall is OK-ish.  It's really the only way I know how to hang things and my boys get me.

We ate and chatted and took a walk by the Lindon temple.

It is very photogenic.

(Adam took the last picture.)

Weekends zoom by.  Only six more weeks of school, so I guess everything is zooming by.

Weekend

 When I was a kid, sometimes I'd feel a let down after Christmas, but then I'd remember New Year's!  It wasn't over.

That's how I felt Friday when we were driving home from Nevada.  I was a little sad the week was drawing to a close, but then I remembered General Conference!  It wasn't over.

General Conference is such a happy time!

We packed up our house in Nevada on Friday.  It always takes way longer than we think it will.  Details, details.  We stopped by Marianne's for a pillow for her and stopped by my parents' to say good-bye and return the bleach bottle we had borrowed.

Some animal was burrowing around the foundation of our house and we put bleach on rags and stuffed them inside the holes to encourage the friends to live elsewhere. (I think all the animals around there are more bugged by me than I am by them...they live there year round and I am just an occasional interloper.)

We listened to more of the podcast we've been listening to about teaching reading.  I have feelings about it so I have to pause and discuss occasionally.

We took some stuff to Marianne in Orem, where she is visiting with her new grandchild.  I can't tell you all the heart eyes I feel about that!

At home, we unloaded the car and I took a 30 minute nap and we headed back to Salt Lake.  We had tickets at the Eccles for Life of Pi.  

We picked up Emma and met up with Emma's friend Bridget at a Greek restaurant.  After dinner, we went to the Eccles and enjoyed the show very much.  People are amazing.

I was tired when we got home, but not nearly as tired as I would have been without that nap!  It saved the day.

Mark had stayed the night Friday night and Emma came over Saturday morning.  Conference weekend feels like a holiday and I love it.

I worked on some paint by number canvases, while Emma put together a puzzle next to me. 

Between sessions, Adam had to meet with someone in our ward, so Emma and Mark and I went to lunch and Winco.  We divided up the grocery list and from the time we left our car to returning to the parking lot was 20 minutes.  It would have been even faster if I hadn't chosen the worst possible line.

We got home the same time as Adam and just in time for the afternoon session of conference.  I enjoyed hearing from our leaders, just like I always do.  I felt the Spirit and felt encouraged.  

Emma wanted to have silent reading time afterwards.  Silent reading time used to be sacred time around here!  I'm glad she is still a fan.

I tried to get Mark to join us and if you think I can peer pressure him into anything, you don't understand our relationship at all.  He said he may join later.

I read awhile and started feeling drowsy.  On my way upstairs, I told Emma that I was going to go take a nap.  I said, "You're the gatekeeper.  Don't let anyone wake me up."

She said, "What if I fall asleep?"

I said, "I will still hold you responsible."

No one woke me up and when I emerged from my nap, I thought that either they had fallen asleep or we had a carbon monoxide leak. 

(I found Adam in the basement, alert and answering email and texts, so no leak.)

There were three pillows right there, but I guess he wasn't interested...

I love how Horace is watching over her as she sleeps.

I decided to water the plants and when I was pulling my root treatment (for Felicia, my fiddle leaf fig:  she's a diva) out from under the sink, I realized something was leaking. 

Adam inspected and said, "OK, I'll have to replace the disposal."

So we lost the use of the sink and the dishwasher and subsequently, my desire to make dinner.  Emma picked up some mail on the counter and said, "Well, two meals for $9.99 at Arby's.  That's two of us sorted."

After the last session of conference, we decided to go to The Smoked Taco instead because it is delicious and almost entirely gluten free and Emma had never gone.  Then Emma went home--she was going to stay, but decided not to--and the rest of us went to Home Depot for a disposal.

Adam has installed those things before and it is always a tremendous pain.  He had Mark help him and they were amazingly fast.  

The investment of Legos has paid off with that kid.  

After Elder Stevenson's talk about Easter, I found a board and painted a sign.

It is a little crooked, but I only have one way to be.

I loved the weekend.  I love General Conference.  I talked to my parents last evening and my dad asked me if I enjoyed watching.  I said, "Yes."

My mom asked, "Do you ever think anyone says, 'Oh, it was OK...'"

We didn't think so.

Weekend

 Friday (besides Pi day, yes, there was pie in the faculty room at lunch time), we celebrated Mr. D Day.  We were commemorating the day two years ago that we met him and found out he would be our principal.

I work with people who celebrate things!

Someone made a lanyard for every single student with Matt's ID card on it and we surprised him by having the kids dress like him. It was hilarious and happy.  I took a picture of my class, but cropped it to only a few.  You get the idea.

After school and after Adam got home from work, we headed to Nevada.  We listened to a BYU devotional with Coach Sitake (highly recommend!) and started a new podcast.  

We would hit pause and talk about what we were listening to.

I love roadtrips with Adam.

We stayed in Wells at a hotel because it was such a quick trip.

Saturday morning I communicated with Olivia about what time to be at the church, where the baby shower was being held. Adam and I went to the church at the appointed time and of course Marianne and Liberty were already there, setting up chairs. 

Olivia did the food and created a game and I did the decorations and it was a good time.

I would do just about anything with these two:

Since Parley, the baby, likes tigers, according to his dad, I went with the theme.

Here's the spread of delicious food Olivia made:

The tiger quilt in the background was made by Marianne.

The game Olivia had us play was nursery rhyme charades.  Olivia has this way of getting people to do things they wouldn't normally do.

Here's Olivia's group (including Desi and Liberty and a lady in the ward, Melinda) acting out This Little Piggy.

Here's I'm a Little Teapot (I'm related to everyone in this picture):

Jack and Jill (did they know they'd be rolling on the floor of the Relief Society room when they got up that morning?):

Then my mom and aunts' group did Humpty Dumpty.  Aunt Olivia (who is in her 70s I may add) was Humpty.  She sat on the back of the chair and fell from there!

I know from stories about their childhood and her altercations with my dad that she's always been pretty bronco.

Liberty opened her gifts, which were very nice and I love the convivial atmosphere of a shower, especially when everyone survives the charades.

Olivia, Liberty, me, Lili, Marianne, Desi and my mom.  I love these women.

After we cleaned up, Liliana (newly engaged and we're all happy about it because we love Josh) had a fitting for her wedding dress in the Relief Society room.  Desi is a master seamstress and used to work at a bridal store altering dresses.  We all weighed in on the fitting and admired how beautiful Liliana looked.  I rode to Starr Valley with Olivia and our mom and Lili.  Adam had already gone.  He'd done a little bit at our house, but mostly visited with my dad.

When we got there, my dad said they'd solved all the problems of the world.

I guess we should have had those two on the case earlier.

Marianne and Robert came over and we visited some more.  It was getting to be late afternoon, so Adam and I left.  We stopped by our house and I measured a wall where I'm contemplating a picture and we both felt a little sad that we weren't staying.  We are planning to be there for several days during spring break.

Adam and I drove home with more podcast and music listening and a stop at Maverik in Wendover because we can't not do that.

Sunday was a nice day.  Church was good and Marie Louise and I did a little family history in the afternoon.  After looking at my own family history, I am getting a bee in my bonnet to go to Sussex and Wiltshire while we're in England this summer.  I presented my idea to Adam and I'm pretty confident if it is possible, he can figure out how to fit it in.

Emma and Mark came over for dinner.  We ate and had a Come Follow Me discussion, then played codenames.  It was old against young and Emma's and Mark's mind align in ways that Adam's and mine do not.

That is all.

It's cold and I have traffic duty and my classroom was very cold on Friday so I'm mustering all my courage to go to school today.

The boy who can

Yesterday Mark came to my classroom after the students had left to assemble the set of drawers I had purchased.  I have a bookshelf that is in its last stages of life and I decided to switch it out for a set of drawers.  Hidden storage is my love language. 

So is Mark.

It wasn't an IKEA piece, which Mark and I regretted.  It was a made in China/ordered from Amazon situation and let me tell you, the Swedes have the Chinese beat in ready to assemble furniture!

We screwed in a million (give or take) tiny screws and I hadn't brought a drill, which would have been smart, but I had two screwdrivers and Mark let me use the better one, which was nice of him.  As we were assembling the tracks the drawers go on, Mark said, "I'm not sure this is right."

I looked at the illustration.  "Yes, it is," I said.

We assembled the top and the bottom.

Mark said, "I don't think this is right."

I said, "Yes, it is."  (I was starting to think it was a good thing I was there to guide the ship.)

We finally finished assembling the drawers and they slid in, but in a very wonky fashion.

Mark said, "I think we made a mistake."

I said, "It's just cheap.  This is how it is."

Mark stooped down and looked at it.

"It's wrong," he said.  He showed me the error of our ways and I realized I should have listened to him all along.

He looked at it for a few minutes and said, "OK, I can fix it."  

He flipped it upside down and quickly removed the parts he needed to (he used a magnet to pull out those little metal things that twist over screws--there may be a technical term but I don't know it).  He zipped along and soon it was correct.

My trouble is that I was looking at the not so fabulous pictures and Mark's trouble was that he was listening to me.

We were following the directions/pictures one at a time, but Mark was looking at it holistically because he understands stuff like that and I don't.  Next time I will listen to him!

I was so grateful to him, I went to Jamie's office (she was still there too at 5:00 PM) and got him a soda out of her fridge.

This picture is from March 2014.

All those years that Mark's bedroom floor was like this have ended up paying off.

September 11

Yesterday when we said the pledge of allegiance, I considered these kids, safely going about their day on a sunny September.  I considered the peaceful mundane-ness of it all.

I don't take it for granted, not on September 11.

After math and morning recess, I sat them down and told them about September 11.  None of them knew anything about it.  I showed them some pictures and told them a very edited version of events.  I didn't tell them how many people died.  I told them about the heroes that ran to help.  I didn't tell them that many many of those heroes lost their lives.  I told them about the feeling of sadness, but also of patriotism and unity.

I told them even though we have a lot of different people in our country, we are in the same country and we can be kind to each other.

It's small, but I couldn't let the day pass without at least talking about it and remembering.

After school, Mark and I were going to go to Costco.  He came to my classroom and I sat him down at my desk.  I handed him a paper and a pen and told him to make a list and a menu.  I'm used to being bossy in that room, I'm also used to being a little bossy anytime with my kids so it works either way.

We were just about to leave for Costco and I realized that I didn't in fact have my wallet.  I had failed to put it back in my school bag after the weekend in my purse.

So that changed everything.

We went home and I got my wallet and I told Mark he might as well stay for dinner.  We went to Costco and bought a lot even though they didn't have the good gluten free bread or the good gluten free pizza.  Rats.  

After dinner, I put Mark to work on building my dresser.  He and Adam got it done.  

Having my kids attend college 30 minutes away is the best way to do it.  A few hours away?  Zero stars.  Do not recommend.

What a day! Also, grateful Friday

Yesterday was hard.  It culminated in me being mad at the world and Adam reminding me, "I'm your friend."

It didn't start there though.

It started with me feeling an increased desire to be patient and just roll with things.  You can see how well I didn't do.

We had both recesses inside and with the wacky week we had of school every other day, it was crazy town.  I had students sneaking onto Youtube when they were supposed to be working.  My school computer is a continual source of angst.  There was a security breach of some kind and now I have a 14 character password I have to constantly type in.  By writing time, which is the last thing in the day before specialties, I told them if they wrote one sentence, the introduction to their paragraph, they could have free time.  My expectations had been altered and they were rock bottom.

You would think they would all immediately be getting to work and having free time, but you would be wrong.  About five of them did that.  Another five copied the first sentence from their passage they were supposed to be researching for their paragraph and I sent them back to the drawing board.  The rest of them did who knows what.  They wandered and couldn't find things and asked again what the assignment was.  

So on the backdrop of all that fun, Emma fell on the ice on her way to work and hit her head hard (I texted Adam, wondering if mothers ever complained and allow me to be the first).  Her head hurt a lot so I was trying to troubleshoot if she had a concussion in the gaps of my day (which weren't many).  Adam finally ended up taking her to the doctor.  She is taking the day off today, but I think she's OK.

Besides that, I got a text from a guy in our ward seeing if it was still OK if we hosted Empty Nesters in March.  What?!? 

This is the older Empty Nesters.  We went one time, back in September or October and decided it wasn't our scene.  There are at least 20 couples in that group who actually go and they signed us up to host? Because we never go?  I tried to be as tactful as I could in my decline.  Sheesh.

This weekend is all family with Braeden's family coming and my grandma's funeral.  I have an eye appointment after school on Monday so I can't stay late and I have a chiropractor appointment Tuesday so I can't stay late and Wednesday we leave!

I decided yesterday was my day to stay late.  I had my sub plans mostly written, but I needed to add to them from stuff at school.  And I needed to make all the copies.  And organize the field trip I'll miss.  And type up instructions for the aides that come in my classroom.  I ended up putting each day's work in a basket.

I don't know how many times you can tell yourself, "This will be worth it.  This will be worth it."  I may have reached capacity.  Being gone from school is so hard!  I can't even begin to warn the sub about behavior.  I'm going to leave candy and say, "Good luck.  Give them candy if they are good?"

So all of this is to say, I was still at school and finally finished at 6:30.  Mark was going to bring me an external DVD player to try out because my class earned a reward to watch a movie.  And that reward was HARD FOUGHT and I was going to deliver.  For reasons beyond my understanding, the TVs at the school were given to surplus.  Streaming services now block you from being able to show something over airplay, so I was out of ideas.

Mark was buying himself a phone before coming to me and it was taking longer than expected.  Even though I was ready to go, I still had things to do, so I busied myself and Mark finally came and the DVD player wouldn't work with my school computer.  That is when I kind of lost it.  All the angst of the day just got me and it was the last straw.

Mark hugged me and spoke to me calmly like you would to an angry toddler (which is pretty much what I was at that point).  He tried different things (he even climbed up and connected the DVD player to the projector on the ceiling but that didn't work either).

Showing my students a movie or not isn't the end of the world, but they EARNED it.  And that was not easy and I wanted to reward them.

Adam came and tried all the things too.  Mark left and I was still a twirling tornado and that was when Adam reminded me he was my friend.

I know.

I was just SO mad.  

I'm working on it.

We came home and Adam stopped off at Kneaders for soup and bread.  Before Adam got home, Mark sat across from me in the family room.  He said, "Today is as stressed as you're going to be.  This weekend will be nice.  You're ready for your trip.  You're going to have a good time.  From now on, you just get to enjoy."  I'd like to think Mark's future wife will be the recipient of his calming wisdom, which he has honed from years of living with yours truly.

We ate dinner at 8:00 pm.  Then we watched an episode of Corner Gas while Adam rubbed my back.

He is my friend, and I'm grateful for that.

Weekend

Sometimes I come home from school with my shoulders up around my ears from stress.  Sometimes I come home with shoulders drooping in defeat.

I think this school year just needs to be endured.

Here's something though.  We have this contest thing going for passed lessons on iReady (which is our math program).  The previous week 6 students in my class reached their goal of four passed lessons.  The other third grades each had around 12.

My class struggles so hard.

Last week, we reached our goal of 16 students getting 4 lessons passed!  Kind of.  Five of my students passed 8 lessons and I counted it.  So I actually only had 11 students pass 4 lessons, but we still celebrated!

Another great thing that happened is that I met Clarissa for our walk and it was light!  It's only going to get better.

Otherwise, the weekend was quiet.  We did the quiet Saturday things.  We got more snow.  Adam left for a business trip to Mexico.  I cross-stitched and watered my plants and baked gluten free carrot cake breakfast cookies.  I'm on a quest to get Mark healthier.

The cookies were OK.  You would think the carrots would have made them sweeter, but they weren't really sweet at all.  They weren't much of anything except the powdery taste of gluten free flour. (I was hoping the oats would counteract that, but alas.)  I watched Mark try one.  I said, "They don't have a taste."

He said, "Weird.  You're right."

I said, "They're not bad."

He said, "No, they're not."

I said, "But, they're not good."

He said, "No, they're not."

Mark and I made beef bulgogi (with gluten free soy sauce) for dinner.  Since he'd had a stomach-ache all weekend, I told him that kimchi was a probiotic and would be good for him.

He said, "No."

He said, "Anything pickled is just a different rotten."

We liked the bulgogi though (and I had a little kimchi, which I think is actually fermented rather than pickled, but I don't think that would have changed Mark's mind).

We had stake conference, which was wonderful.  I felt inspired to do better and be better.  I felt encouraged.

It was the kind of restorative weekend that I need to pull up my boots and get back at it on a Monday.  

A cup of good cheer

Yesterday we visited my grandma.  

The whole great great grandma thing is kind of astounding.  I can't imagine Eleanor bringing her granddaughter to visit me someday....

Sweet Ella was as good as gold.  She slept in the car, a shorter than usual nap, but she woke up happy just like her dad always did.  She was friendly and busy, but didn't touch all the things she was not supposed to touch, but wanted to.

Grace under pressure.

We hurried home to get ready for our dinner party.  Clarissa (Timeon had to work), Liberty and Nikki, Shuyan and Carolina came over for dinner.

Also, the most bizarre thing happened while we were scrambling to get ready.  I had just wrangled Mark to help me move furniture to set up the tables and there was a knock on the door.  It was a girl about Mark's age, wearing a dress and high heeled strappy sandals.  It was not exactly the weather for that outfit.  She was visibly shaken and said, "Is Mark here?  It is an emergency."

I got Mark and she said, "John was in a car accident and I can't drive."

Mark looked a little taken aback, but said, "OK," and left immediately with her.

Anna and Braeden and I puzzled about the whole situation.  Who was John and who was this girl and how did she get to our house in the first place?

Mark called a bit later.  He had as many questions as we did.  He met John a few weeks ago, playing Magic with his friends.  He had invited the whole gang to his birthday dinner so John and his girlfriend had come.  The girlfriend had the address of our house since Mark had texted the group the address.  He's known both of them for about two weeks.  He never got much more of the story.  He took the girl home and I'm glad he was ready and able to be a helper.

But it was bizarre.

Our guests arrived and it was so fun to see them all!

I regret that I didn't take a picture.

We had dinner and Braeden asked Clarissa all about the Tabernacle Choir, which that amazing girl is now a part of.  He talked German politics with Shuyan.  She delighted and charmed us like she does.  Liberty and I chatted a bit about school and Carolina and I a bit about The Home Edit, of which we're both fans.  After dinner, Eleanor went to bed and the rest of us went to the basement to visit.  We talked about books and the cosmos and lego sets and Braeden shared a brief FHE lesson (it included the cosmos).  I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Adult nieces and nephews are every bit as fun as adult children (Carolina is not quite an adult, but she's fabulous).

Weekend

Friday was a hard day at school.  They've all seemed really hard lately.

After school, an adult approached me.  She wondered about sending her child to the school.  Her first question was "Do you say the pledge?"

I said, "Um...yeah.  I forget sometimes, but we do."  (I'm terrible at remembering.  I love America as much as the next guy, but I get started with math and forget.)

She said, "My child has been going to a charter school where they say the pledge and sing the anthem."

(I am sure there are good charter schools around, but we get a lot of students from charter schools where the children aren't learning/progressing like they should.)

She told me her child was not progressing in school (surprise, surprise) and she was wondering about sending them to our school, but she had heard it wasn't a good school.

I said, "What do you mean?"  I was taken back.  I love our little school!

She said, "Well, I heard that the academics aren't good and the teachers are bad."

I said, "It is a good school and the teachers are good."  Then I ended the conversation.  

Sheesh.

Later is when I usually think of what I should have said.  "You should probably stay at your current school.  I mean, they say the pledge and sing the anthem after all."

In other news that makes me want to kick someone in the shins, my classroom has been in the upper 70s and Emily's classroom down the hall has been in the 50s.  We decided we should switch halfway through the day.  I was talking to Riley and he said that we were up for a new HVAC system because ours is shot, but since the bond didn't pass, never mind.

Thanks everyone who voted not to fund public education.  Now your tax dollars will keep my classroom a toasty 78 degrees.

So I was a cranky Thelma.  Adam and I went to the ward Christmas party even though I didn't want to (I was cranky).  We sat by some friends and saw people we love.  It was an ugly sweater party and awards were given and everyone laughed a lot.  Then they opened the curtains and on the stage there were about 30 different pictures of Christ.  A primary child, young woman, young man, lady and man all spoke briefly about the Savior.  

It changed my heart.  I saw my difficult students in a clearer way.  I always think that if Jesus came to my school, he would probably gravitate towards those hard cases.  It is my chance to practice being more like Him.

Saturday was Mark's twentieth birthday!  My little baby is twenty!

In my mind he will forever be my sidekick.

For twenty years, he has been melting my heart with his sweetness, stressing me out, being stubborn, and having opinions.

I heard recently that what parents become is the outcome of parenting, not what the children become.  If that is true, Mark has taught me to be patient (still trying), love wholeheartedly, and stay for the long hugs.

I'm grateful I am his mother.

We went to lunch with Emma (Via 313, they have good gluten free pizza).  We talked about things, including Mark's plans and future.  It is clear that I need to trust him more.  He comes up with good ideas. It's easy to think I'm in charge of my adult children, and I am really not.  It's freeing to realize that.

And stressful.

On repeat.

In the evening, Mark invited a bunch of his friends over.  We see a few of them often, but some friends came who hadn't been here before.  I opened the door several times because the group was in the basement and it was disarming how old they were.  One of them had a small beard!  I guess when your twenty year old son invites his friends over you don't need to preside over the gathering offering fruit snacks.

I stayed upstairs but their laughter made me happy.

Sunday was a busy one.  We had church like normal and then I hosted the Relief Society Kringle Mingle at our house.  We had cookies and hot chocolate and oranges and lots of chatting and laughing.  We pulled ladies aside and did ministering interviews.  We used both my office and Adam's office as interview spaces which was a good opportunity to tidy them up.

Both rooms needed a spruce.

I loved talking to my friends.  Some of them said encouraging words to me and I tried to say encouraging words as well.  We need each other.

Storm clouds were gathering and snow was predicted.  After the Kringle Mingle, we decided to drive to Salt Lake to get Mark's computer so he could work from home and they wouldn't have to battle the snarl that is traffic when it snows.  

I was ready for a quiet evening at home, but a quiet evening in the car was good too.  Being together is the thing.

When we got home, we had the birthday cake I had made earlier.  I am experimenting with gluten free cake and it was pretty good.  It was a busy weekend and in the baking aisle at the store, a tub of frosting had seemed like a good idea.

It wasn't.

It never is.

That stuff tastes terrible.

We sang happy birthday anyway.

Weekend

Friday, over burgers, I asked Mark his hopes and dreams for Saturday.

He said he was getting a haircut and would go grocery shopping with me.  I told him I didn't want him to go grocery shopping with me.  He said, "Oh good, because I didn't really want to go."

It was a very amicable exchange, but he's fired from grocery shopping with me.  He gets cranky and impatient.  I told him other things he could do for me instead.  (Dishes, clean up the basement, bring in the couch cushions off the deck (the snow has finally melted and they were dry).  He happily did all those things and I happily didn't have an ill-tempered grocery shopping partner.

I stayed up late Friday night wrapping the books for my students.  It didn't need to be done yet, but I had nervous energy to burn and it was something to cross off the list.  I talked to Adam (in Orlando) before I went to bed and he asked why I was still awake and it was because my mind was spinning with all the things and I couldn't settle it.

I was glad on Saturday when I created the mother of all lists and I sorted out all the tasks and assigned them times and I got a lot done and felt like I could breathe.

I went grocery shopping (alone).  If you ever want to feel a part of something, go grocery shopping the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  The produce, dairy and meat sections were clogged.  Standing room only. Everyone was jockeying overloaded carts, trying to buy all the things.  I walked down the aisle to get the gluten free taco seasoning and I was the only person in the aisle.  We are all eating the same thing this week!  What a great time to be American!

In the line, which was really long so I had time on my hands, I tried to guess whether people were hosting Thanksgiving or being a guest for Thanksgiving based on what was in their carts.  

Besides the tasks I assigned him, Mark spent a good part of Saturday shopping for Christmas presents.  For the first time in his life, he has extra money to spend on gifts and he is reveling in it.  He was telling me about his gifts for Braeden and Anna and Eleanor and Emma and I said, "You're very generous, but you don't need to spend so much money on gifts."

He looped his arm over my shoulder and said, "I'm my mother's son."

It is true.  Gifts are my love language and I love picking out gifts.  Also, two thumbs way up that he is shopping in November.  Maybe he inherited more than curly hair and a proclivity to crankiness from me.

Sunday Adam flew home from Orlando.  He made it for the second talk in sacrament meeting (the guy got up very early).  We were happy to have him home.  Emma didn't come over because she was under the weather, but Adam and Mark built with Legos.  

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving week with many of my people; I'm bracing myself for the ways an impending school break riles up the children.

Labor Day weekend

I am here with two purposes:  one to record our trip to CA and one to avoid getting another text from Marianne that begins, "OK sister..."

We went to California on Friday night.  We had an 11:00 PM flight.  I may never recover.  I'm a toddler who needs her bedtime preserved.

Security isn't terrible that time of night.  Also, it always feels like insult to injury that Mark is met with such suspicion at the airport.  He can't go through the scanner with his pump, so it feels like the logical conclusion is that he must be a terrorist.  He is patted down very thoroughly and they even swab his hands to see if they are covered in explosives.  

I always just bite my tongue even though I want to say something snarky.

Braeden picked us up at the airport and it was so good to see him.  He swoops me up in the tightest hugs and I forget how much I need those hugs.

We stayed at a hotel and Braeden retrieved us again the next morning to take us to the airport to get the rental car.  We went to their apartment and enjoyed getting acquainted with Eleanor.  We went to the Davis Farmer's Market and a great used book store.

I had brought a stack of books for Eleanor and had put some in everyone's suitcase:

Some of them were surplus from school and some of them were gifted to me by a kindergarten teacher.

At the bookstore, I said, "Hey, we have room for more books since we brought those for Eleanor."

Adam amended my statement, "You have room for books."  Apparently he wasn't willing to be an accomplice to a book buying spree.

I bought some books anyway.

(And fit them all in my suitcase, so there.)

I had a flare up of my eye disease (because that's always fun).  I didn't bring enough medicine (I'm supposed to take 5 pills per day when I have a flare up), so I called my doctor and had a prescription sent and it was a whole ordeal and Adam took over getting it accomplished.  He even drove to the Walgreens in Sacramento where the prescription was sent.

He's always the MVP (even when he won't take extra books in his suitcase).

We had lunch at Black Bear Diner and Eleanor was masterfully handled by her parents.  She is busy and loves to stand and just pitches her body toward anything she wants.  Here she wanted a glass of water so she just flung herself on the table.  

She is tenacious, that one!  She is also incredibly darling and I love watching Braeden and Anna team up to provide an idyllic life for her.

We spent the rest of the day in their air conditioned apartment.  I read to Eleanor.

She loved this book and would get really excited and bounce up and down and grab at the pictures.  Other books she would just grab and chew on them.  

I miss her.

In the evening, Eleanor went to sleep and Braeden went with us back to our hotel to swim.  He was jumping in his car and I said, "Don't you need a swimsuit?"  

He said, "I keep one in my car."  Like you do....

Adam and the boys swam and I read my book.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Sunday we went to church with Braeden and Anna and Eleanor.  Eleanor was really and truly comfortable around us by then and Adam or I held her during sacrament meeting.  I loved their diverse little ward.  The sacrament was blessed in Mandarin.  Braeden and Anna have a friend named George who was recently baptized.  (Braeden was supposed to baptize him, but it was on the day Anna was giving birth.)  George is in his 80s and is blind.  Braeden and Anna pick him up for church and love him.  He was sitting behind us in the chapel and I overheard a young man, who was passing the sacrament whisper, "George, would you like the sacrament?"  "Give me your hand and I'll guide you."

It warmed my heart.

I got Eleanor duty during Sunday School which is the best kind of duty.  After church, George came over to their apartment too and we had homemade pizza.  Braeden had me sit and chat with George while he worked on the pizza.  George is completely personable and has clearly had a rough life.  He's lived here there and everywhere and doesn't have any family.  When he found out I'd grown up in Nevada, he told me that he'd lived in Winnemucca awhile.  He had been hitchhiking through and had stopped and worked washing dishes at a casino for several months.

He would ask me about my family and my childhood and my siblings and my children and my parents and he kept marveling at how fortunate I was.  "What a good life!" he said, over and over.  "What a good life!"

I had to agree with him.

Monday, everyone (except me) went swimming at the hotel.  I declared myself there to take care of Eleanor when she was tired of swimming.

But it was hot.  So I changed into my swimsuit and went swimming too.  For me, it has to be really hot to make swimming worth it.  For the rest of my family, there needs to be a body of water available.

I think Eleanor falls in line with the rest of them.  She was a little unsure of the cool water at first:

But soon, she was a happy little fish:

When Braeden was 5, we made a deal with him that he would get a Happy Meal if he would go off the diving board at the pool at Forest Park.  It was a big deal because we were poor and Happy Meals were few and far between.

He was doing underwater somersaults in the pool like his Grandpa Linn taught him.  I said if he could do five in a row I would buy him a Happy Meal.  He did six.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out in the apartment with the AC, lunch at Red Robin, where Eleanor was angelic, and a visit to Target.  My grandma sent them money for clothes and they were thrilled to buy Eleanor some cooler weather clothes for their trip to Washington.  

The Happy Meal wasn't the only childhood throwback.  Earlier they had been talking about how Braeden would never forgive me for getting rid of his Yu-gi-oh Duel Disc Launcher.  (You devote your life to your children and they fixate on the junky toy you threw away....)  It put them in a Yu-gi-oh mood apparently because Mark bought some cards at Target (Braeden already had some--at least I hadn't thrown them away.)  They played Yu-gi-oh.

Adam and I took turns cuddling Eleanor.  I loved how she would nudge her head up to Adam for a kiss.  She is 100% a keeper and it broke my heart to leave her behind.  I told her maybe her parents wouldn't notice if she came home with us.

Anna told me they'd notice.

All too soon we headed to the airport.  I realized on my boarding pass that we were in first class.  Adam is the guy who just quietly does stuff like that to make life better.

I asked him, "Why are you so good to me?"

He smiled and asked, "Why are you so needy?"

We walked and walked and walked in the new and unimproved Salt Lake airport after we landed.  I was SO tired and I just wanted to go to bed and I knew I'd have an early morning.  The airport is all about the hike now.

We got to the curb and there was a huge (think Space Mountain at Disneyland) line for the parking shuttle.  Adam led us on another LONG walk to the parking lot.  We had no idea if it was faster or not and we decided that since we were already doing it, we'd just assume it was faster.  

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Mark was incredibly upbeat the entire walk and kept encouraging us and it was disarming and out of character and needed.

In the car, he played just the music we needed to get us home.  That was very much in character.  We made it home!

I'm still tired.

It was so worth it.

I love Braeden and Anna and Eleanor.

As George proclaimed, "What a good life!"

Recharge

The other day, I went to leave for work and the battery was dead in Joan.  I yelled for Mark, who was getting ready for work and he came and helped me with the little battery charger we have which is worth its weight in gold.

I took it with me to work.

Joan usually only takes short little trips and her battery is four years old and I think she needs longer trips to charge it up.

Sorry Joan. 

Adam is traveling this week and Mark and I had some chicken noodle soup for dinner.  He had put it in the slow cooker earlier, but have failed to read on it that you also needed to add 6 cups of water.  He said I hadn't told him that.  I said that I had, however, taught him to read.

I added the water and that slowed the cooking down more than we wanted.  I added the gluten free noodles and they were weird and didn't cook right.  I dished us each up a sad bowl which was really the last thing either of us wanted on a warm summer evening.

I needed to go for a drive to recharge Joan's battery so I asked Mark to come along.  I told him if he ate all his soup like a good boy, we could swing by Wendy's.  Mark loves Wendy's, but there is nothing there he can eat.  He was curious about baconator fries though.  They don't have gluten, just fries and bacon and cheese (what a healthy treat!).

He chose the music and I had veto power with any song, but he spun some pretty good ones.  We got him baconator fries, which he liked (and it wasn't so terrible because it was kind of a small container).  He gave me one fry, which is Mom Tax and we all know it. I had a little frosty and we were happy clams.

We drove and listened to music and chatted.

Both Joan and I had our batteries recharged.

Marky and me time

A few nights ago, Mark texted, wondering if he should invite Marek to dinner.  Then he texted this:

I love Marek, but I opted for Marky and Me time (Adam was out of town).

He told me about his lunch with Geri and Emma and his afternoon at Emma's.  I told him about my abysmal day.

I felt better.

We went to the Tuesday movie.  The kid behind the counter asked, "Are you aware of the Tuesday deal?"

Friend, would we be here at 10:00 AM on a Tuesday morning if we weren't?

$5 for the movie and a popcorn and a drink.  What a great country!

Mark wanted to see Top Gun Maverick.  I didn't have a strong desire to see it, but it turned out that it was great fun.  Mark and I whispered predictions and laughed and no one even cared because it was 10:00 AM on a Tuesday morning at Water Gardens.  At one point, I whispered I had to go to the bathroom.  Mark said, "You can wait."

I said, "No."

When I got back, he told me what I'd missed.  Marky and me is a good thing.

The drive home, we talked over each other about how much we liked the movie.  We drew all the parallels between it and Star Wars.  You couldn't grow up in this family and not liken everything to Star Wars.  Those are the facts.

We puzzled over replacing the head of the string trimmer.  It's not for nothing that Mark has been following Lego and IKEA instructions his whole life.  He figured it out.

Over dinner, we rehashed Top Gun.  We want Adam and Emma to go watch it with us.

Today we're going to Nevada, to do yard work at our house.  We have a cooler packed and Joan loaded with yard implements.  I'm looking forward to a day of Marky and me.

You don't have to tell me how much time has passed and everything that has happened between then and now.  I lived it.  But I'm still grateful to be the mother of this kid!

Cleaning the church

Adam and I were part of the crew cleaning the church early Saturday morning.  Sun was streaming in the glass in one of the foyers, highlighting how terrible the windows looked.  Someone must have cleaned them with disinfectant or something because they looked bad.

Julia began gathering and emptying all the trash, Ethan started vacuuming the chapel, Verdon cleaned the kitchen and then started vacuuming.  Garrett was vacuuming the halls and classrooms too.  He had his toddler there in a stroller.  (His wife was home with their newborn.) Tara and Sione arrived and started in on the bathrooms.  Adam and I tackled the windows.

It didn't go too well.

We sprayed and wiped and wiped and sprayed.

I despaired of how they still didn't look great and Julia told me, "The windows look a lot better than they did."

We moved on to other windows around the church and while I was cleaning the inside and Adam was cleaning the outside, I thought about serving in the church.

Sometimes we botch things.   Sometimes we say the wrong thing and offend someone; we don't follow through with an assignment; we fail to come prepared. Sometimes we forget something important.  Sometimes we use disinfectant instead of glass cleaner.  

Sometimes, even if we're doing the right thing, using the glass cleaner, we don't feel like we are too successful.

Sometimes our children are the ones who make tiny handprints on the glass doors and sometimes we're the ones wiping the tiny handprints of someone else's children.

I guess what matters most is in the showing up.  I loved being there with my neighbors, fanned out across the church, cleaning it.  It occurred to me how sturdy the church is and that it was OK if we weren't perfect at our jobs.  We were trying.

Also, I showed Julia and Tara pictures of my granddaughter and Julia, whose daughters are friends with Braeden and Emma and who has grandchildren of her own, cried when she saw a picture of Braeden holding his baby girl.  Tara grew up in Virginia Beach and her parents are Braeden's (and my) friends.  Ever since his mission, Tara has had an interest in Braeden's life and she and I feel connected.

I guess if you ever want to feel part of something good, show up when it's your turn to clean the church early on a Saturday morning.

***

When our children were little, Adam started the tradition of taking them to McDonald's for breakfast after cleaning the church.  It was a reward for their service.  We still do it.  When the teenager at the drive thru window handed us our Diet Cokes (breakfast of champions!) we noticed that they were different sizes.  They weren't different enough sizes that one was a medium and one was a large, but they were different.

Ever curious and a seeker of answers, Adam asked, "Why are they different sizes?"

The morose boy said, "They aren't."

Adam said, "Look!" and he held them up to each other.

The boy was completely disinterested and mumbled, "Huh, I don't know," and sent us on our way.

The whole thing mystified and sort of delighted us enough that we took a picture and texted our kids (there's a reason cell phones were invented and it is to send pictures of two Diet Coke cups to your kids).

Mark immediately texted back:

And he was right!  I wanted to go back and tell the kid at McDonald's but I don't think he was nearly as perplexed by the whole thing as we were.

All of this is to say:  we're having adventures over here.

Magnified

Yesterday was another one of those days (that happen quite often) where my class feels out of control.  A student threw a soccer ball--during class.  Two boys escaped to recess early--I retrieved them and made them stay in for five minutes during recess.  I had a new student who 1) sung tunelessly all day  2) didn't do any work 3) cried a few times.  There are about five people in the building who are able to set up new passwords for students.  None of them were there yesterday.

One of my very hardest students was in show off mode for the new student and he kept shouting out sassy answers to questions in an effort to be funny.

It wasn't funny.

We had a counselor lesson and the counselor talked to them about goals.  The above student's desk is strategically placed very close to my desk.  When the counselor had them write down their goals, he wrote he wanted to behave better at school.  He wrote: I will do it by listening to my teacher and being nice to other students and doing my work.

It melted my heart.  We are all trying.

***

Mark came to my class for the afternoon.  We did science.  They built bridges out of paper and tested them with pennies.  Also Mark kept sneaking Skittles and they all heard him so he didn't get away with it.

Mark walked around giving them tips.  But this group didn't even need much help.  They were pretty impressive.

After the bridges, we played with tracks and cars.

We tested the sweet spot between having an incline for the cars to go fast and too much of an incline where the cars fell off.  At the end we had a bracket to figure out the fastest car.  

Basically it was a big mess, but fun, and we got it all cleaned up.

I asked Mark what it was like to be in my classroom.  I said, "Does it seem like me or different?"

He said, "It kind of scared me.  It brought me back to being in the school room, but magnified."

I didn't think I was that scary.  I'm still not very scary.  But I'll admit to a teacher voice. A teacher/mom voice.

After Mark left the school, he went for a haircut.  Adam, the king of the before and after, took these shots.

I don't know why the sunglasses were part of the pictures.

And speaking of magnified, that kid...needed...a haircut.

Always Mrs. Bennet

I would love to be more like Elizabeth or Jane Bennet, Elinor Dashwood, Anne Elliot.  I'd even take Emma Woodhouse.

But more often than not, I'm Mrs. Bennet.

Friday afternoon I talked to Mark and he was sick.  He was unable to get a Covid test until Monday.  I tried to figure out a way to get him a test, but to no avail.

Adam called Mark and asked if he wanted Adam to come and get him.

Mark said no.  He said he didn't feel like traveling.

So he was quarantined in his room.  The cafeteria delivered his meals and they were gluten free.  Saturday morning he got Rice Chex, milk, some fruit and...some cream cheese.

I'm guessing other people got bagels and it kind of cracked us up that they still sent the cream cheese.

I didn't talk to Mark all day.  I texted him and he texted back infrequently and he was his usual succinct self.  I called him in the afternoon and he didn't answer.  I called him around 5:00 PM and woke him up.  He sounded terrible.  I checked his blood sugar and it was sky high.

Cue Mrs. Bennet.

Later I was texting him and he answered sort of and eventually.  My fertile imagination pictured him feverish and incoherent.  I worry about him more than my other children.  My mom understands why.  So I cried and channeled Mrs. Bennet and we finally got Mark on the phone.  He was in better spirits than I was expecting.  He told us about the cream cheese incident and he seemed OK, though sick.  Adam said, "I'll come tomorrow and bring you medicine and try to get a Covid test.  (Some medicine messes with his monitor and we didn't send him with a good supply of medicine.  I think the year when everyone was masked and didn't get sick lulled us into a false sense of health.)

Mark said, "I think I'm OK.  How about I call you tomorrow if I want you to come."

Adam glanced at me and said, "I'll come."

Because though I'm Mrs. Bennet, Adam is and will always be Colonel Brandon.  

Adam got all the medicine that Mark could take and bought a home Covid test and Mark's results were negative.  (Can you trust those tests?  I have no idea.)

For my part, I had to stay home because I was teaching in Relief Society.   Also, Braeden texted a link because he was speaking in church and I got to watch him.

For all the downsides of the pandemic, that's an upside.

In the evening we celebrated Emma's birthday.  She is going to California to visit Braeden and Anna later this week so we won't see her on her birthday.  In lieu of brothers, we had cousins.  It was fun!  It's been a while with our busy Sundays since we've had them over.

I didn't get a picture of the group, but we had Desi and Mason, Liberty and Nikki and Liliana.  Adam took this picture of the (dairy free) cake I made.  (Mason can't eat dairy.)

We played Codenames:  people born in Nevada verses people not born in Nevada.  (The Nevadans lost.)  And then we sat around the table and swapped stories.

Somehow my humiliation of crying to the junior high principal when Emma was in 8th grade came up and we've come full circle.

Me = Mrs. Bennet.

Acceptance is the first step.

Family FaceTime

 Sunday afternoon, Adam and I took a drive to check on the progress of the Saratoga Springs and Orem temples.  I think they can manage building them without our oversight, but we like to go take a look.  While we were out and about, we had our family FaceTime call.

Everyone's a little blurry and mid expressions, but it's always a happy time.  As you can see, Emma and Mark were showing off their new lights in their rooms.   We all talk over each other and laugh a lot. Also, everyone makes fun of me for only showing my forehead at times like that but it's tiresome to keep my phone held so my face is perfectly framed.  Adam was driving but occasionally I would point the phone his way and he would say, "You're pointing it at the ceiling."

I think the takeaway is that I won't ever have a career as a cameraman.

Emma is planning a trip to California to see Braeden and Anna.  Braeden said, "We'll talk to you more when we get off the phone with everyone, Emma."

I said, "You guys go ahead and go and I want to talk to Mark more."

Braeden and Mark instantly got nervous looks on their faces.  "What?"  I said.  "You're not in trouble.  I just want to talk to you."

Braeden texted me this:

And Mark texted me this:

I said, "But I'm the nicest person in the world."

Emma isn't afraid of me at all.  I don't know if that is better or worse.

(A little healthy fear in sons isn't terrible.)