Spanish Fork Sunday

 Sunday afternoon we visited Braeden and Anna briefly and Adam gave Emma and Braeden priesthood blessings before their first days of their (senior year!) beginning of classes.

Then we went to Spanish Fork.

I grew up 1) visiting cemeteries in the Salt Lake Valley where my departed ancestors were buried and 2) hearing faith promoting stories of my noble and great ancestors.  (At least they all seemed noble and great to me.)

When Adam and I did our How Many Pioneer Ancestors Do I Have research, I read about Moses Trader Shepherd and his wife Eliza and it was quite a colorful story.  Eliza refused to join the church or move West so Moses went without her.  He married a new wife named Martha then left her in Council Bluffs, Iowa and went back for Eliza.  While he was retrieving Eliza (who agreed to come but did she know about Martha?!?), Martha died in childbirth.

So there's that problem solved.

Moses Trader and Eliza had a one year old son, Aaron, who turned out to 1) be my ancestor and 2) be a lying cad.

Moses Trader and Eliza and Aaron are buried in Spanish Fork (with his wife who is not related to me--she was, however, the wife he was married to at the time of being a cad).

I wanted to see their graves.

They seemed like...interesting...people.

We went to the cemetery and it was a lot bigger than I thought it would be.  (I don't know what I was thinking--a cemetery with only Shepherds buried there?)

Mark and I started canvasing the cemetery and Emma and Adam got on their phones and found the graves on Find a Grave and Adam looked at a map of the cemetery on the cemetery's website.

I thought it was creepy that there were wind chimes hanging near some of the headstones because it reminded me of how they used to tie dead peoples' fingers to bells when they buried them so they could ring them if they weren't really dead.  They tinkled in the breeze and I wondered if someone wasn't dead and wanted out.

You can guess who found the graves first.  He came and picked us up from the other side of the cemetery though and took us back to the right spot.

(My great great grandmother Sylvia is not listed among his children.)

Still.  His blood is in my veins and maybe he turned out to be a nice guy after all.

After the cemetery we went to the Spanish Fork City Park for a picnic.  There were an astounding amount of garbage cans in the park.  Emma and I counted 23 in view from where we were sitting but then there were more on the other side.

Also there was a woman with a yapping dog who offered to give us said yapping dog in a raspy smoker's voice and she reminded me of the witch in Hansel and Gretel.  I was expecting a gingerbread house right around the corner.

Adam and Mark, in total disregard to social distancing and the you know, the pandemic, tried to spit grapes into each others' mouths (luckily they were unsuccessful) and Adam almost made me die a choking death while I was eating grapes and he was making me laugh.

He's been doing that ever since we were freshmen at BYU eating in the Cannon Center cafeteria.

We talked about where in Europe we would like to go and Mark and Emma regaled us with stories from the Hale Center Theater in Orem.  Some people go to great lengths and expend a lot of energy showing their displeasure.  That is all.

I love Sundays and tiny adventures and almost dying in a park in Spanish Fork from laughing too much.

Grateful Friday

I'm grateful I get to be a teacher.  Some days it's hard and I come home and cry because I feel overwhelmed and so very tired.  

I also love it though.  

I have one student who asked me for several days in a row if I'd watched Bunk'd on Netflix.  He had me write it down so I wouldn't forget.  He pointed out the apostrophe and said, "That is important."

So Adam and I watched an episode (I'm letting 8 year olds boss me around).  It's from the Disney channel and it has all the highly saturated color and sassy kids that Disney channel excels at.

The next morning I told him I'd watched.

"Did your children watch it with you?"

Why do I think he'll never be satisfied until he completely runs my life?

Also, I had a student bring me a bag of grapes from her backyard.  She was so proud of them.  And they were delicious.

I like being a teacher.  That is all.

***

I'm also grateful for schools in general.  I am glad I homeschooled Braeden and Emma and Mark and I will never regret that decision for a minute, but I'm also grateful for schools.  I'm grateful for the good places they have been for my children, places where they are loved and cared for and taught.  I'm grateful for the parade of students that walk into my school every morning.  Some of them look a little hangdog and like they need a lift and I 100% know they will get it in their classroom.  Without an exception, their teachers love them and are trying hard.  I know that.  I've been there in the evening when the parking lot is still full and the teachers are giving their all.

Speaking of homeschool, I'm grateful that the new student I just got (who was homeschooled up until now), was actually homeschooled.  Most students we come across who were "homeschooled" come to us illiterate and I understand why teachers think it's so crazy when I say I homeschooled my children.

***

I'm grateful every time I go to the dentist and there are no problems with my teeth.  We had appointments this week and they went well.

I hate tooth problems.

***

I'm grateful every single day for Adam.  He's the one who comforts me on the days I come home and cry.  He believes in me and tells me it will get better.  He picks up slack and gives me good advice and makes me grateful.

Every single day.

Towanda

All last year, I never sat on the super wobbly stool in my classroom.  It seemed risky.  This year, I've thrown caution to the wind.  These are dangerous pandemic times; I'll sit on the super wobbly stool because it is the right height for my document camera.

Then yesterday the stool collapsed. 

While I was sitting on it.

With my amazing cat like reflexes, I managed to not land on the floor.

One adorable little wag said, "Maybe that happened because you're old."

If he weren't so cute, I wouldn't have forgiven him so quickly.

And I am old.

Also yesterday I was pulling into the one way parking lot with my eye on a spot.  Another car came darting in, going the wrong way and zipped into the spot.  It was a pint sized Hyundai hatchback driven by one of the first year teachers who looks like she belongs in high school still.  She even wears joggers to school.

It reminded me of the scene in Fried Green Tomatoes when Kathy Bates' character has a similar thing happen to her.  The young women who took her spot said they were "younger and faster."

Kathy Bates' character demolished the younger women's car with her car and replied she was older and had more car insurance. 

That young teacher better watch it.  I'm old enough to break stools.

Take me out to the ballgame

Geri bought Adam and Scott season tickets to the Mariners games.  Cardboard cutouts of them are sitting in the stands (next to some neighbors of Geri).

The Mariners haven't really been very good for years but I love how the fans are all in.  At the home games now, the stands are full of cardboard cutouts.

The Mariners will mail the ball to a fan if it hits their cardboard cutout.  So far Adam hasn't caught any homers, but here's hoping.

Wake me up when it's over

Summer feels like the gift that keeps on punishing.  Summer's date hath all too long a lease.

Saturday afternoon, I went outside and it was hot and dry and windy and the sky was white with smoke from fires in California.

The post apocalyptic feeling was only intensified when I surveyed my zucchini plant that was crawling with aphids.  I felt like I was in a horror movie.  I had Adam unhook the water to the zucchini.  It was the vegetable equivalent of being put down.  

I'm done.

Once school starts, I'm over it.  Can't it just be autumn? I don't want to water my flower pots any more.  It shows.

Last week, one of my students was humming Jingle Bells.  I said, "We should all sing Christmas songs because maybe the weather will get colder."

"Wait," one of them said. "Is it almost Christmas?"

I said no.

But I wish it were.

I miss complaining about the cold.

Wonderful

 Friday Braeden sent this:

This picture is of Braeden and Sarah Justesen, a newly minted BYU freshman.  I love how happy Braeden looks.

I immediately wanted to meet them!

Rebecca Justesen is one of the nicest people I know.  When Braeden was serving his mission, she took great care of him.

She had the missionaries over often for dinner, she also gave them cereal (one of Braeden's love languages:  cereal) and cut their hair and did a million little services for them. She'd text me and ask me Braeden's favorites.  One birthday he wasn't even in their area anymore and Rebecca and her children decorated his apartment door for his birthday.

I'll never (ever) forget that Rebecca stayed in the hospital overnight with Braeden when he had his surgery.  Even now it makes me cry to think about that selfless service she gave to him and mostly to me.

(Braeden said that when he was in the hospital and Rebecca and Stella were there, he knew he was in good hands.  I did too.)

So yeah, I wanted to meet Rebecca.

She was in Provo, dropping off her darling daughter, Sarah.

We had dinner together.  Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures but I was so happy to meet her and hug  her and thank her in person for her kindness.  We chatted over dinner like long lost friends.  I told Sarah she is perpetually invited to Sunday dinner.

Later, I texted Braeden and thanked him for bringing so many wonderful people into our lives.  An unknown perk of being a parent.

Grateful Friday

Yesterday I taught my class how to log into Chromebooks.  This, my friends, is not for the faint of heart.  I was running around and saying, "No, don't touch that!"  "No, don't click there."  "Click there."  "Well, your mouse isn't plugged in, that's why it isn't working."  "Oh, see?  You unplugged your mouse again...." "You typed the password wrong."  "Stop clicking buttons!"  "Nobody touch anything."  "Everybody put your hands on top of your head."

Yes, I resorted to acting like we were in a holdup situation.

But we did it.  And they'll get super fast at it.  Eventually.

***

I had recess duty.  At the beginning of recess, the sprinklers inexplicably started going on the big soccer field and those boys were having a heyday getting soaking wet.

The principal came out and got everybody out of the water and the water got shut off.

Every year the 3rd grade boys protest about the 4th grade boys' treatment of them on the soccer field.  Mostly the 4th graders play on the big field and the 3rd graders play on the little field but there are inevitably boys that mix it up.  And there's conflict.  I was breaking up a fight betwixt soccer playing boys on the little field when those sprinklers started going.  And they are not fine mist sprinklers watering a gentle circle of lawn.  They are powerful.  I was about ten feet away from one.  I got drenched, but good news!  It's a heatwave in the desert and I dried fast.

Today I'm grateful that I can teach and that I have a supportive family who picks up all the slack.  I'm grateful for my adorable students.

One little girl shyly told me this week that I was the teacher she was hoping she would get.  Seriously, they don't even have to pay me.

(I mean, I'll take it.)

I need more sleep and I need to get a handle on everything but I'm grateful for this life.  And I'm really (really) grateful it is Friday.

How things are going

I genuinely love my class.  They are very cute and eager to learn and I just look around and think, "I'm loving this!"

My online students are super cute too and I'm slowly wrapping my head around what I'm doing with them while attending to my "day job" as well.  

One of them came to the school with his mom yesterday after everyone was gone so we could meet and chat.  He completely stole my heart and I'll just chalk him up to another reason why I want this virus gone.  I want that boy in my class!

The Alpine School District technology is maybe melting from overuse.  So many problems.  I'm grateful for all the smart problem solvers who are...you know...solving problems.  The people who are creating the online content are amazing.  It's some good stuff.

I was very proud of myself and smugly showed Kate that I had created a spreadsheet with multiple pages(!) to track online student work.  It was fancy.  Kate kindly said, "Yeah...you can do it that way..."

Then she showed me on Google classroom the way it is really easy to access and track.

I have a lot to learn.

Including the home life/school life balance.  I just keep telling myself I'm doing better than I did at this time last year.

Day 1

I slept through my alarm!  After all week of waking up waaaaaay before my alarm with my anxiety driven internal clock.  I. Slept. Through. My. Alarm.

Granted, I was very tired.

Still.

I forgot my lunch.  Left it in the fridge. (Adam brought it to me later because he is hands down the best husband in the world.)

The internet wasn't working at the school.  (The district will "try to increase capacity."  Thanks guys.) The teachers had created videos of all the school wide rules and procedures because we weren't going to have a school wide assembly.  But the internet wasn't working so I scrambled to adjust.

I forgot to have the students stack their chairs at the end of the day.  I was so caught up in all the new routines and weirdness with masks that I forgot something we did every single day last year and should have been second nature.

It was a day.

There were lots of good things too.  It delighted me to see last year's class.  Several of the girls ran up to me and hugged me and I just went ahead and let them even though we have this pandemic going on.

The boys were less huggy but seemed just as happy to see me and I was thrilled to see them.  They are taller.  I told one boy he looked like a 4th grader and he said, "Well, I went to Las Vegas."

These are the kind of incongruous wacky things that make my day complete.

I was equally delighted by my current class.  What a bunch of cuties.  They eagerly asked questions and answered questions and doggedly wore their masks and needed a bandaid (a girl, very concerned, held up her finger and said, "I have a hole!") and shoes tied.  I heard the whole story about why those certain shoes were worn (her older sister suggested they matched her mask.) Later in the day they were much more chatty and it made me happy.  

The entire day, despite the frantic nature of it all, made me happy.

***

My baby is a senior!  I love this kid so much and if I think too much about the whole senior business I cry so I am going to give it a pass.

Maybe it will go away if I ignore it.

Adam took his picture yesterday morning on the front porch (even though he was parked in the garage).  I think it felt more symbolic or something.

I didn't sign one disclosure document last night.  I'd better get on that.  Mark said the only thing from yesterday is a paper saying I can't sue if Mark cuts off his finger in woodworking.

So there goes that money making opportunity.  As John Ralphio would say, "Minor cuts and bruises, major dollars and cents."

Ready or not

 This first day of school!  I am excited.  I am scared.  I am tired.

This is me yesterday.

We the teachers use glasses chains on our masks to keep track of them.  My life is bizarre.

But I am living the dream!  I'm a teacher and I have the most adorable children on the planet (I've met them and compared notes with other children--no I haven't).

Wish me luck!

Family time

 We were supposed to have a small family reunion on Saturday but it was canceled.  The coronavirus just keeps on ruining stuff.

I still wanted to go to Nevada but I got freaked out by (you guessed it) the coronavirus and I was super busy Saturday getting ready for school to start and also trying to be a contributing member of my family at home.

It's a lot.

We joined a zoom meeting on Saturday with most of my siblings.  We played a trivia game about Tabor and then they presented my parents with the 50th anniversary present we have been working on for years.

A quilt.

There are blocks that represent different events in their life and a quilt block representing each of their children's family.  It was a group effort but my sisters deserve most of the credit because they quilted it.  Both parents cried so, you know, mission accomplished.

After the call, Adam saw my sad face and said, "We can drive there tomorrow."

We didn't have church yesterday and I wasn't planning on doing any school prep or laundry so we made a plan.  Mark ended up staying home with bad allergies so it was just Adam and me, practicing being empty nesters.

(We'll be good at being empty nesters.  We like hanging out together.)

We had lunch with my parents (at separate tables) then my sisters and most their kids came over and we sat distanced apart and visited.  There were no hugs or closeness at all and I don't love that.

But I did love a quick trip to see my dear parents and some of my family.

Fifty years of marriage is a long time, but so is eternity.  I'm glad I'll be with them that long.

Grateful Friday

We are all exhausted at school.  We keep saying to each other, "And school hasn't even started yet...."

The school nurse gave a presentation yesterday and stressed us all out.  A lot.

Every day I get good ideas from my fellow teachers about dealing with masks and face shields.  We are decorating our rooms with splashes of color and cheer but there is a heaviness too as we are physically and mentally hampered by a virus I wish I'd never heard of.

I'm grateful for our principal.  We had our first day of professional development meetings yesterday.  He wore casual clothes and said that after we were done, he was ready to help in our classrooms.  He would lift or load or hang up anything we asked.

He also said, "Summer school was our guinea pig and it worked!  Learning happened.  We can do this!"

I will love when the kids arrive.  They will save us from our stressed-about-the-virus-angst.  (Or at least they will distract us from it a bit.)

***

I'm grateful for my family.  Mark checks me like a barometer when I get home from school and administers hugs as needed.  Adam sustains me when I am spent.  Emma and Braeden and Anna are a witty text away.

I'm grateful for my parents.  They are a dear and loved light in my life.  When I feel gratitude for my siblings (and I do--we're a hard headed opinionated lot but we love each other), I know that credit for the gift of brothers and sisters goes to my parents.

It is Tabor's birthday today.  He's 40 which seems impossible in a little brother who I remember holding the day he came home from the hospital.  Welcome to your 40s.  I hope you like Advil.

We were placed in families for a reason.

Those who can't, teach

 I decided to write my students' name tags for their desks in cursive to give them a model of how to write their name.

Then I started writing and remembered my cursive is not good.  (I remember getting Cs in elementary school in handwriting.)  My cursive is passable on the white board where there aren't lines or exactness, there on paper with a sharpie, not good.

I whipped out my label maker and created a label for each desk instead.  Good enough.

My team was meeting briefly in my classroom between testing appointments.  I told them about my sad efforts and the surrender to the label maker.  I showed them a sample.  Janelle said, "It's not that bad."

Then she paused.  "Well...."

Kate said, "Do you want me to write them?"

I slid the pile of labels and a marker across the table.

I am not proud.

In other news, I loved meeting some of my students.  They were nervous and timidly stared around the room with caution.  Soon, they'll have the run of the place.

Tired, but happy, but tired

My classroom is shaping up and I am happy there.

My team made unit learning plans and finessed our curriculum maps and we feel smug with our accomplishments.  It turns out unit learning plans are our love language.

I pointed out to two teachers that they needed to remove the film from their face shields.  When you're one of the oldest teachers, you kind of become the mom in the group.

Adam cut out hundreds of fabric squares for my students to use to clean their desks each day.  I'll take a laundry hamper and bring home the pile each week to wash and reuse the next.

I had multiple conversations with teachers yesterday about the pros and cons of different masks and face shields.  It suddenly feels like a key to our happiness.  The world feels bizarre.

The AC isn't working well (which isn't news) but happily it does eventually get cold and it stays cold most of the school year.

My classroom was 80 degrees all day and I felt wilted about 5:00 and went home.

Even though I still had A LOT to do.

I do one item on my list and think of three more to add to my list.

Last night I was exhausted.  My teacher stamina has not kicked in.  We went to MOD for dinner.  I was sitting at a table facing the door while Adam ordered (gotta save those tables since half of them are off limits).  About five guys came in wearing the heavy boots and tired expressions of having worked outside all day.  A few of them had masks down around their chins or just covering their mouths. One didn't have a mask on at all.

I made eye contact with each of them as they walked by and one by one they either put their mask in place or fished it out of their pocket.  Mark said it was the trifecta of being a mom and a teacher and over 40 so I'm not afraid of anyone.

Several people have asked me how we will enforce children wearing masks.  The same way we get them to stay in their seats and raise their hands and not poke each other in line.  It won't be perfect, but we'll do our best. 

If nothing else, I have the trifecta going for me.

Happy whirlwind

Yesterday I had an all day meeting with my team and I loved it.  Because I love my team.

We dove in and talked curriculum and logistics and showed off our school supplies to each other.  There was a lot of "oooooh I want to do that too!"  I shared with them what I'd learned over the summer for writing and science and they broke down the first day of school procedures for me (I was a humanities teacher last year for the first day of school).

We had a panic attack over a district assessment we needed to give in late October.  There was going to be multiplication on the assessment and we start multiplication in late October.  We puzzled over our curriculum map, trying to decide if we should switch things around but completely resisting wanting to because our curriculum map is like it is for a reason.

The three of us trooped into our principal's office and laid it all out for him and then we noticed in tiny print that the math assessment is optional.

Oh.

We thanked him for his time and I said something about us being really great at...teaching...reading, if not doing it.

We were relieved.

It was a productive day and then I hurried home because we were having dinner guests!

Braeden and Anna and Anna's family, the Carlsons came for dinner.  We puzzled about whether we wanted to squeeze around our table or move furniture and set up a long table configuration or just have two separate tables.  We decided in a nod to social distancing to do two tables (and also, most importantly, that was easiest).

We put the unmarried kids at one table and they chatted like they've been lifetime friends and the three married couples sat at one table and we chatted like we've been lifetime friends.

It's amazing to me how immediately comfortable we feel around the Carlsons.  I'm so grateful to them and their goodness and their lovely daughter.  

We had a great evening together and enjoyed each other immensely.  I wish they didn't live so far away so we could get together more often.

Read any good books lately?

School starts next week but for me it starts this week.  So here's an end of summer/end of quarantine/end of Thelma has more time kind of post.  Some of them were just things that were randomly available since I couldn't go to the library, some of them are Newbery winners, some of them are re-reads.

Here's what I have read (since March):

The Patron Saint of Liars by Ann Patchett ***

The Other Family by Loretta Nyhan ***

Beneath a Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan ***

Where the Forest Meets the Stars by Glendy Vanderah ***

Saints, Vol I  **  (Braeden told me there's lots of polygamy in Vol II so I decided to skip it.  I don't need that stress.)

Far From the Tree by Robin Benway **** (great book--not great language)

The Paris Architect I can't remember who it's by and I didn't like it/didn't finish it

The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend by Katarina Bivald ***

The Victory Garden by Rhys Bowen ***

The Giver by Lois Lowry **

Left to Tell by Imacculee Ilibagiza ***

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle ***

The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill ****

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella ****

Things Fall Apart by China Achebe **

Adam of the Road by Elizabeth Janet Gray ***

What Matters Most by Louanne Rice ***

Creativity, Inc by Ed Catmull *** 

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier ****

Crispin by Ari ***

Viola in the Spotlight by Adriana Trigiani **

The Writing Thief by Ruth Culham *** (this is a book about teaching writing)

The Help by Katherine Stockett ****

several books about teaching math and one more about teaching writing that I borrowed and returned and don't remember the names of....kind of skimmed them anyway

Grateful Friday

I'm grateful it is my parents' 50th wedding anniversary today.  That's a big deal!  I wish we could celebrate with a big party and invite the whole world, but alas.

The scaled back celebration of it doesn't diminish my gratitude though.  I'm grateful for their goodness and their eternal marriage and the family they created.

Speaking of my parents, I got my rings back!

My dad is, and always has been, my hero!  I feel like all is right with the world again.

***

I'm grateful for the sweet slideshow our kids made us earlier this week:  25 things we love about you, complete with pictures.  

I'm grateful that when Braeden talked about temple marriage he got teary talking about how much he loves Anna.

I love how much he loves her.

***

I'm grateful my classroom is shaping up.  I really have a sort of neutral, monochromatic thing going on I think....

It's subtle.

There's evidence of protection against the virus everywhere.  Last year, the reading books all lived together on the same shelf and kids just grabbed one, any one.  This year they are isolated from each other and the bins will be labeled.  Communal school supplies are boxed up and there's no longer a sharp pencil and dull pencil cup where they can exchange their pencils and we sharpen up all the dull ones once a day.  They're going to have their own (labeled) pencils.

I now have a paper towel dispenser and a hand sanitizer dispenser mounted on classroom walls.  (And soon I'll have a hand sanitizer stain on the carpet.  I know how it will go.)

It all makes me feel a little stressed.

I feel the responsibility parents place on me when they send their precious children my way.  I know they are hoping I'll be kind and understanding and competent and that their children will be loved and that they will learn.  

It's a lot of responsibility.  

Now I feel like keep them safe is heaped on top and I'm staggering a little under the weight.  I'll do my best.

I'm a mix of excited and terrified and I am hoping that somewhere along the way I can figure out how to be a person as well as a teacher.  (Last year it kind of felt like I could only do one or the other.)

But this post is supposed to be about gratitude so let me circle back around.

I am grateful to be a teacher.  I truly love it.  My classroom--the colorful chaotic place that it is--is a happy place for me to be.  I look at my future students' faces on Skyward and I feel a jolt of excitement.  They will become dear to me in the coming months.  I will listen to their stories and tie their shoes and put band-aids on all kinds of real and imagined injuries.

And they will become mine--if only in my mind.

I'm grateful I get to do what I love.

Bendy brain

I have a friend whose son is on the autism spectrum. He went to a special school for awhile and they taught the kids to have bendy brains.

I keep reminding myself to have a bendy brain.  

A bendy brain doesn't come naturally to me.

Yesterday on my way to school, I got a phone call from my principal.  Janelle was substituting summer school and Kate is in Alaska for the summer so I was the one who got the phone call.  Decisions had to be made but I am the way way junior member of our 3rd grade team.  

It all had to do with how we are handling assessments (which we want to do because we know our kids are behind from last year) and back to school night which can't function in its normal way.

I made some preliminary changes and went into the office and talked to the principal a little more and then waited until after summer school and talked to Janelle a bit more.

We made tentative plans.

We tried to find our principal because we had more questions but couldn't (I don't know, the school isn't that big).

I decided to go home and clean the toy closet because 1) it was a disaster zone and 2) it is something I could control.  It is in no way urgent because it only gets used when little cousins visit but it was something I could see to completion.

Shout out to Adam who helped with the closet and put everything away with his mad Tetris skills.  Shout out to Mark for helping too and being my least sentimental child.  "Can we throw this away?"  

"Sure."

"How about this?"

"Yep."

It's like a breath of fresh air.

Then I texted more with Janelle.  Then Kate.  Then we emailed.

And guess what?  We have a plan.  Put three teachers together and they pragmatically will come up with a plan.  That is all.

Knowing

A while ago, Adam asked me, "What are the gift giving expectations for our anniversary?"

Emma laughed.  And laughed and laughed.  To the point of it was disrespectful to her mother.

Everyone knows gifts are my love language.  I love getting gifts.  It makes me feel loved.  It doesn't need to be anything fancy or expensive, but when someone picks out a gift just for me, I feel loved.

It does kind of make me feel like a jerk when I'm married to someone who could care less about gifts.

Adam did get me a lovely gift though.  I felt loved.  He knows me.

***

I went to my classroom yesterday and now that I know my class list and how many are in person and how many will be online, my mind is reeling with the unknown and unknowable and the little things I still need to get done.

When I got home I went into Adam's office and sat across from him and said, "I feel really stressed."

He gave me a knowing nod as if to say, "Yep, right on time."  He knows me.

***

On the way to our dinner date, I told Adam about something I heard on the radio.  I talked about Ter-Ter and he knew immediately I was talking about the radio program Fresh Air.  Years ago, we were listening to an interview on Fresh Air and the person being interviewed called Terri Gross Ter-Ter, which struck us as funny.

I told Adam what I'd heard on the radio and he looked at me appreciatively and said, "That's interesting."

He's a big idea kind of guy and he loves having his thinking challenged and deepened.  I told him what I was thinking about and he nodded and listened and I could tell understood.  He knows me.

***

I don't know if it is the wild temperature extremes or fault lines but Utah never seems to be able to have smooth pavement.  It is always buckled or cracked.  The restaurant parking lot was no exception.  I was wearing heels for the first time since March and Adam steered me onto the safest ground in the parking lot.  He knows me.

***

While we were eating, when we weren't people watching and making up stories/trying to determine the relationships for other diners, Adam told me all the ways he's grateful to be married to me.  It made me teary eyed.  He stopped talking and tilted his head and smiled at me and my tears.  He knows me.

***

I keep thinking about how young and naive and inexperienced I was when we got married.  I for sure didn't know all the ramifications of who I was marrying and all the unknown scenarios we would find ourselves in.

I'm glad I married Adam though.  When you know, you know.

Mini road trip

We were planning on being in Seattle this week if the blasted coronavirus hadn't wrecked everything. Because of that, though, Adam already had some work time blocked out.  We went to Lava Hot Springs yesterday in southern Idaho.  It was only a couple of hours away and I always like sitting next to Adam in the car.  We listened to the playlist curated by Emma and Mark and listened to a podcast and held hands.

I hadn't been feeling great and I'm not that much fun at best so I sat in the shade and read my book while the other three rented tubes and floated the river.  Emma capsized and scraped her arm and leg up so she joined me after awhile.

Adam and Mark wondered if she wanted to go to the pool and she said no because she thought it would sting all her wounds.  After they left to return the tubes she said, "I hate feeling like the weak link."

I told her there was no way she would ever be a weaker link than I am.

Here's a picture of Adam and Mark in the river:

It was a nice spot and about 10 degrees cooler than Pleasant Grove.

We stopped in Brigham City on the way home for a peach shake to share and we drove around the temple and tabernacle.  It's a pretty little town.

Today is our anniversary!  25 years.  I feel lucky and grateful.  I am happier now than I was then because I didn't even know about Braeden and Emma and Mark.  When I think of myself back then I marvel at the things that awaited that girl.

Hard things and scary things and really really great things were all in store.

I don't think I could have imagined this and how they would change me.

I'm grateful to be by his side.  Forever.

Weekends with Emma and Mark

Saturday morning we all did chores around the house and then went to a late lunch at TruReligion.  I hadn't been there since last year and it was nice to be back.  I love that place.  And like Mark said, "It's great to get a Dr. Pepper the size of your skull."

Because of our delicious and late lunch, we weren't too hungry for dinner.  Since we were all four home for once in the evening, (I miss the quarantine days when everyone was for sure home.  Always.) we decided to watch Knives Out.  We watched it through Vid Angel, which was a good call.  There was clearly some language we missed hearing.

Emma and I assembled cheese and meat and crackers and fruit and vegetables onto a tray to take downstairs.  She popped some popcorn.

Then she said, "How long until Mark comes down here and throws hands?"

Often when we're on a trip, I want to stop at a grocery store for bread and cheese and fruit for dinner. Mark hates that.  He says, "That's NOT dinner."

Mark came down and surveyed what we had prepared.  He said, "OK, but that's not dinner."

In the midst of a heatwave we were in the basement under blankets, watching our movie.  The basement is its own climate.

We liked the movie a lot.  Everyone helped carry stuff upstairs and when I walked into the kitchen, I heard Emma say, "Alexa, play Spooky Scary Skeletons."

Then this happened.

Adam took the black and white picture.

Emma said, "When the vibes hit, they hit. I don't make up the rules."

Then we read scriptures.

I went to bed and Mark made himself some scrambled eggs.

He said, "That wasn't dinner."

***

Sunday afternoon we got an email from Mark's drama teacher.  For the musical theater class that he is enrolled in, it turns out he will need to do another audition the first week of school.  One minute of a song.  Adam and Mark and I were talking about ideas.

Mark said, "We need Emma."

We called Emma down (she'd been napping) and Mark sung for her.  I loved the way her face lit up when he was doing well and the way he mostly looked at her when he was singing.  Her approval matters to him.

And he has it.

I'm glad those two are mine.