Grateful Friday

Here are some things I'm grateful for:

It finally--for real--feels like fall.  There are leaves swirling and it's jacket weather and we've had some wild and dramatic thunderstorms.

It is General Conference weekend!  Braeden and Emma are coming home for the weekend and that is my favorite.  There is nothing cozier than the five of us, snuggled under blankets in our comfy clothes, enjoying the good word of God.

One of the students I work with at school asked me if she can call me Mrs. Curly.  (She has curly hair too.)

I got MD (Mark's Doppelgänger) to write!  About half a page!

I've started thinking about Christmas gifts for our kids.  When gifts are your love language, Christmas shopping feels like paradise.  (Also the lists!  How I love lists!)

I found some pretty pumpkins.  They complete me.

Connectedness

I love those connections that make this big old world feel like a little village.

Gina Bellman

Yesterday was kind of a banner day around here phone-wise.  I talked to Braeden and Emma on the phone.  Usually we subsist on text messages and it was nice to just talk.

Also, Marianne, Olivia and Enoch each called me (and Tabor called me a few days ago).  I don't talk to any of them nearly enough in all the busyness of everything but it was great to catch up, to feel loved.  They wanted to know how I was.  They asked about our kids and I asked about theirs.  Marianne made me cry by telling me a sweet story and then I cried even more because I told her about a student I purely love who I also worry about.  When I talked to my siblings, I feel understood.  I feel cared about.

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Last night we had a Relief Society meeting.  I'm on the committee and I'm usually a little grudging.  Even though I truly enjoy being with the other women on the committee, I usually feel like it's one more thing I don't want to make time for.  But since I'm Coralee Dahl's daughter, I saddle up and go help anyway.  Last night our activity was a "Not So Young Girls' Camp."  We met in a backyard and had a fire.  I was kind of dreading it as it mostly fell into the category of out of my comfort zone.  The committee performed a skit and sang a silly song and then I led everyone in camp songs and we had s'mores.  (Fancy s'mores--and the s'mores weren't the part I was dreading.)

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For our skit, Cortney pulled out marshmallows and said she wanted to roast them.  She said we needed sticks.  Terri was whittling and Cortney asked for her sticks.  Terri grudgingly gave them.  Then they decided they needed graham crackers.  Terri said, "Hey, Susan has crackers."  Susan didn't want to give them.  She said she was going to use them for a craft--making birdhouses out of them.  She finally gave them up though.  Next Susan said she'd spied some chocolate in my bag.  I admitted I had chocolate but I said it was my favorite kind and I was saving it for later.  But they finally convinced me.  S'mores are a gooey mess and we didn't have napkins so I asked Debbie for a page or two from her notebook to use as napkins.  She didn't want to share but finally did.  Then Michelle stepped in.  She said, "Oh no!  You have to use these!" and gave us each a cloth napkin.  She said she'd been saving them for a lesson on etiquette but would share them.

Our small sacrifices turned into s'mores for everyone.

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At the end of the evening, some people streamed away back to their houses, but some people lingered.  We chatted in the darkening evening.  I had a few conversations that felt real.  Somehow it seems easier to share vulnerabilities when you've just had chocolate and are cozy in a pretty backyard.

It was time to clean up and the committee gathered things and helped take loads to each others' cars.  Michelle and I were laughing and loading her truck and she said, "I just love you, Thelma."

And I love her too.

We finished loading Susan's car and she turned and gave us each a hug.  Then we all hugged each other.  It just felt like that kind of a night.

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As I was driving home, I was thinking about the evening.  I realized that the skit pretty much exactly reflected real life for me.  I hadn't really wanted to share.  After what felt like a busy week--a series of busy weeks--what I really wanted to do was stay home with Adam and Mark.  But I reluctantly went. I did what was asked.  And I was rewarded.  Just like in the skit, the small sacrifice I made in time and energy turned into something as warm and delicious as a s'more:  feeling connected.

Relief Society

For a lot of my adult life I've been out of Relief Society on Sunday (I've been in either Primary or Young Women class).  Any place is a good place to be (I like some more than others) but I really love Relief Society.

The following happened last Sunday:

I was handed an invitation for a baby shower for a young unwed mother.  Everyone wishes things hadn't turned out that way but that will not hold back the love and support and baby gifts.  It won't.

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Someone talked about how another woman had "saved her life" one Sunday when her life was falling apart and no one at church knew.  This older sister waited for the younger one in the hall and looked her in the eye and asked, "Are you OK?"

The younger sister said, "No, I'm really not."  Then, when she was telling us the story, she said, "I told her what was happening and she gave me her wisdom.  And we became dear friends after that."

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Every week lately, the teacher gives a challenge at the end of the lesson.  A few weeks ago, as I mentioned before, the lesson had been about being able to do hard things.  The question was asked, "Did anyone have an opportunity to apply their faith to doing something hard?"

Someone talked about how her husband and mother-in-law had needed surgery on the same day.

Someone else talked about coming home from spring break to a flooded basement.

A few more sisters talked about hard things that had happened.

Someone else raised her hand and said, "It sounds like a lot of people had a hard week.  Can I make a suggestion that we don't have any more lessons about hard things?

It makes me happy to be there.

Be still

Sunday in Relief Society we were discussing the talk by Elder Ellis from October 2017 conference,  Do We Trust Him, Hard is Good.  It's such a good talk and such an important lesson I need to learn.  1) I don't like hard things for myself and 2) I REALLY don't like hard things for my kids.

I need to keep picturing them like chicks who need to peck their own way out of the shell to get stronger.

I loved sitting in that room and listening to the wisdom of the women surrounding me.  Some of them have gone through Hard things (with a capital H) and they chose to turn to the Lord in their suffering and grief.  I aspire to be more like them.

Someone mentioned that she had received the impression to be still (as in Be still and know that I am God).  Another woman raised her hand and asked the question, "But what does that look like? Being still?"

So I've been thinking about that question.  I think for me, the place where I feel most stillness is in the temple.

I have been feeling increased gratitude for temples lately, for a variety of reasons.

I'm grateful there's a new temple announced for Virginia.  Braeden took my heart to Virginia with him when he served his mission and I guess when he was leaving a bit of his heart behind, he left some of mine too.

I'm also so grateful for the temple that I see outside my window every day.  We had Seattle-like weather Saturday and clouds and fog shrouded the temple.

I missed it.

My eyes are drawn to it every time I look out the window.

A new family moved to our neighborhood from New Jersey. Sunday at church the woman said that where they had lived, it took about 5 hours and either an expensive train ride or expensive toll roads and parking to get to the Manhattan temple.  "And now I can see it from my house," she said.

It is amazing and I don't appreciate it enough.

Last week I told Olivia that we were planning a family temple trip.  "The hard part," I said, "is trying to figure out which temple to go to."

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.  Should we go to the Mt. Timpanogas temple that is ten minutes away or the one that is practically on BYU campus or the other one in Provo or to Braeden's favorite, the Payson temple?  That is hard?  Some people have to save for years or take long trips to go to the temple.

Sometimes I think I should just stop talking.

We ended up at the Mt. Timpanogas temple and lately we've been going to the other temples because when I walked in, I felt like I was home.  I felt the familiarity wash over me.  I felt my spirit be still.

Just wow

What a wonderful weekend!  How I love General Conference!  I loved gathering with my family and just enjoying.  The solemn assembly, when we stood and indicated our sustaining vote for our new prophet, President Nelson, was stirring and we were moved to tears.  Later Elder Anderson spoke to all the people that weren't in the Conference Center and told them about the strong spiritual feeling in that room.

But I think we felt it in our basement in Pleasant Grove too.

Braeden asked me a few times which my favorite talk was and I couldn't even answer.  All of them. Every one.  Can there be more?

I loved when Adam and Braeden and Mark came home from the Priesthood Session.  They were floating on air.  They were rejoicing in the awesome experience they had had.  And then I cried a little while they told me about it.

(Which isn't good for my eyes so I think I need to go somewhere with zero emotional highs and lows so I can not cry for awhile.)

I felt confirmation over and over that President Nelson is a true prophet of God.  With every sort of stunning announcement of change, I felt sure that President Nelson knew the Lord's will for us.

When he announced the new temples, Braeden jumped up from the couch and shouted for joy.  Richmond, Virginia is not in his mission boundaries but very close and will be a huge blessing to the people there.

So much excitement.

Emma and I prepared our Easter feast.  She is a pretty good baker and I can't take credit for any of it because she learned it from The Great British Baking Show.  Take that, people who don't value PBS.  We made a lemon meringue pie and she set a pretty table and made up a back story for funeral potatoes (it had to do with Aunt Madge...and I have no idea who Aunt Madge is).

Emma delights me.

Adam had the boys slice the ham so it was sort of a pass the torch situation for everyone.

I also love everything about Easter.  It is more low key than a lot of holidays (Christmas for one) but that doesn't dampen its significance in my mind.  And Easter may as well be a pastel Thanksgiving because my main emotion is gratitude.

I'm grateful for the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  Because of Him, I can repent and try again.  Because of Him, I will live again and see my dear ones again.  Because of Him, I can be helped in all facets of my life.  I can be helped to forgive, obey, carry on.  I know first hand that sometimes, where there is no where else to turn, no source of strength or comfort, I can turn to my Savior.  He will give me the help that I need.

I love to see the temple

source

Saturday our family went to the Provo City Center Temple to perform proxy baptisms.  It was not without its challenges.  We had to talk at some length about a time that worked for everyone.  We had to change the time.  Then we had to delay the time.

But we persevered!

We had some names of very distant relatives that I had found and the names of somewhat closer relatives Geri had found.

There's just something about hearing ordinances performed for a name you found.  There's just something about hearing your son baptize your other son and your daughter on behalf of those people.  It was one of those times when your heart is full.  That is all.

Adam and Braeden confirmed Mark and Emma for the people and that was also wonderful.  We are blessed by temples and priesthood power.

After, they asked us if we wanted to record the names, which is a new thing that patrons can do.  Before that, my job had been handing Emma a towel after she came out of the font so I said an enthusiastic yes to recording.  Emma and I sat down together and scanned and stamped the cards.

Adam said, "You had a big smile on your face while you were doing that."  And I did.

Braeden said, "You just added to a big book in heaven."

...Whatsoever you record on earth shall be recorded in heaven...It may seem to some to be a very bold doctrine that we talk of—a power which records or binds on earth and binds in heaven. Nevertheless, in all ages of the world, whenever the Lord has given a dispensation of the priesthood to any man by actual revelation, or any set of men, this power has always been given. Hence, whatsoever those men did in authority, in the name of the Lord, and did it truly and faithfully, and kept a proper and faithful record of the same, it became a law on earth and in heaven. (D&C 128: 8-9)

And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven... (Matthew 16:19)

Momming

Braeden needed to go to the doctor.  I said he could either go himself once I got him the new insurance card or I could meet him at the doctor's office.  He opted for me to meet him.  He said, "You know stuff."

So we met at the doctor's office.  The doctor said I looked more like Braeden's sister than his mom.  Later I asked Braeden if he thought that was really true.  Braeden said he thought people were just trying to be nice when they say that.

And that, ladies and gentlemen is why some questions are better left unasked.

The doctor asked Braeden about medicine he was taking and Braeden said, "Nothing else besides Coke Zero."

I don't think the doctor heard him.  If he did, I hope that was when he was pretending to think I was not Braeden's mother....

The doctor asked him where he was going to school.

"BYU."

"Are you dating?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to."

"I sound like your bishop now," the doctor said with a chuckle.  "I used to be a bishop in a BYU ward."

And that, ladies and gentlemen is going to the doctor in Utah County.

It wasn't quite 11:00 AM when we were done.  Braeden wondered if we wanted to go to lunch.

I said, "Isn't it early for lunch?"

He said, "I'm ready for lunch."

And that, ladies and gentlemen could be why he wanted me to meet him at the doctor's office.

I didn't mind a bit though.  Lunch with my entertaining and handsome son is always a welcome treat.

Grateful Friday

Today I'm grateful for President Thomas S. Monson.  His funeral is today and I'll be watching it and remembering a great man.

When I was growing up, his were always my favorite talks in conference because of the stories he told.  I loved to hear him speak because he entertained me and made me feel warm inside.

As an adult, I have had various real experiences where I have felt the Spirit confirm to me that President Monson was a prophet of God.  I've felt lifted by the words of a prophet and amazed that he seemed to be speaking just to me when he was in reality speaking to everyone.

There are many ways that President Monson has inspired me.  The internet has been littered with quotes by him lately and I've loved that.

One that I've always remembered and appreciated is this:

I aspire to be like that.  I want to be trustworthy and on the Lord's errand.  I'm grateful I get chances to try.

Sometimes the things I'm asked to do are not that hard.  I have the time and the ability.  Sometimes they are hard.  Sometimes I don't want to.  Sometimes I feel like I don't have the time or talent or inclination.

I'm grateful for a prophet of God who has inspired me to be better.  To keep trying.  To be someone who will run those errands.

Family Home Evening

Last night for Family Home Evening, we decided to create a scene from the Book of Mormon out of legos.  We were thinking maybe we'd make a stop motion video.  We decided to recreate Lehi's dream.  We didn't have time to finish, but there will be other Mondays.

When you have a Mark, he's the builder. Adam and I were relegated to sorters.

See that little pile of green and brown legos?  I don't want to brag, but I did that.

While we were sorting, Mark started with making people.  He carefully selected faces for each person and asked our opinions on which face looked more like Lehi or Sam.  Even though Ishmael's family and Zoram aren't mentioned in the dream, Mark made them.  "I think they were there," he said.

And who's to argue with him?

Mark finished the tree and I thought we were done for the night but then he snapped together a rod of iron.

The kid is just good with legos.

There is Lehi, holding a piece of the fruit.

And the takeaway?

Don't be Laman and Lemuel:

My cup runneth over

Braeden and I got home last night from our Washington, D.C. trip.

I wish I had better words to describe it but I will have to do my best.

Mostly I felt like I did this small thing.  A little sacrifice.  I sent my dear son away on a mission.  It wasn't easy.  I missed that kid and it felt physically painful to drop him off at the MTC.  But I did it, because it was what I was supposed to do.  I wanted us to be obedient.  I guess I hoped Braeden would benefit from the experience.

So I did that small thing and I never expected the enormous blessings and rewards that would result.  I didn't know I would end up with dear friends.  Over and over in my life, I realize the rewards for our obedience and efforts always outpace any offerings we make.  It makes me feel puny but also incredibly loved by a Heavenly Father who blesses His children.

Braeden baptized Stella last year on September 10.  Somewhere along the line he said, "Can I come back here when Stella goes to the temple?  And also I promised her I would."

So that was that.

And also Stella is part of our family now and I got to go too.

Saturday we went to the temple.  We had the baptism and confirmation performed for Renée, who is Stella's beloved daughter-in-law who passed away several years ago.  Braeden performed the temple work for Christopher, Stella's son who has also passed away.  I can't wait for Christopher and Braeden and Mark to meet.  Stella and I have a lot in common and one thing is that we adore our sons.

I was honored to be Stella's escort while she did her own temple ordinances.  In short order she had every temple worker we talked to in love with her.  Because that's how she is.

There is no one in the world like Stella.

People from the Salem ward who love Stella and threw their arms around Braeden in a happy reunion came from Virginia Beach to be with Stella.  I loved all of them.  Not just because they told me I looked young enough to be Braeden's sister, but that helped....

After our wonderful day at the temple we went back to the house Stella rented for us.  Some friends from Virginia Beach joined us for Chinese food takeout and we sat around the table and talked.  Stella related some of her experiences leading up to her baptism and then the Heinzelmans (I really don't know if I'm spelling that correctly) told us the story of their conversions.  It was astounding.  Hearing the experiences of these good and intelligent and truth seeking people, it was clear to me that Heavenly Father loves them.  He loves His children.  He wants us back.

Every insignificant and temporary worry that plagues me seemed to float right away.  I felt the perspective of what matters most.  I felt filled up with light.  I felt increased love for Adam and our children and really everyone.

This is what matters.

This is where it's at.

How the rest of the weekend went

Adam and Braeden and Mark went to the Priesthood Session of conference so Emma and I hung out together Saturday evening.  We went to Magelby's for dinner.  We predicted how many men would be in the entire restaurant (which was packed).  I guessed three and she guessed six.  There were five.

Sitting across the table, Emma and I chatted and I just enjoy being with that girl.  We talked about BYU and her future plans and her friends.

On the way home we stopped at Walgreens for a prescription for me and my ring ding eye.  The pharmacy was closed but good news!  We didn't go home empty handed.  Emma bought a little cat that was painted to celebrate Dia de los Muertos.  I don't like Halloween but Day of the Dead is better.  I like the bright colors.  Emma named the cat Josefeline.  Because she's my clever girl.

I tried to convince her to stay the night and she didn't want to.  I had her give me five good reasons why she should drive back to Provo and she only came up with four.  I said I would give her five good reasons why she should stay and I could only think of four also.

The boys came home and I asked, "Braeden, are you staying here tonight?"

He said, "Heck yes!"

I said I was trying to convince Emma to stay and Braeden said, "You know guilt won't work."

And yes I do.  Emma was packing up her belongings (and Josefeline) and I said, "Emma, you know you're the most stubborn person in the world."

She said, "Yep."

Adam and Braeden and Mark and I stayed up late, talking.  We talked about the past year or so for our family and the lessons we've learned from some of the craziness.

I'm grateful for our family.  I love our children with a fierce mama bear love but I also just really really like them.  The older they get, the more they feel like friends.

Sunday we went across the street to the Porters for a brunch and to watch the first session of conference together.  It was an amazing spread of food.  Nola said she likes it better than Thanksgiving.  Between sessions of conference, we were treated to a concert by all the talented kids.  There was singing and piano playing and cello playing and more singing.  Garrett, one of the Porters' friends from IN who is attending BYU, played the piano laying on his back on the piano bench with his hands crossed above his head.  Maple Leaf Rag.  It was awesome.

We headed back across the street to watch the final session of conference, uplifted by the spiritual feast of conference, the literal feast from brunch and the wonderful talented kids.

I just love General Conference.  The older I get the shorter it seems to last.  I can't wait to read the talks and remember the way I felt.  I aspire to be more and to do better.

The kids stayed around until about 9:30 Sunday night.  We ate and played games and made plans and Adam crushed everyone's dreams at Yahtzee.

One of my favorites

Since we were in France during General Conference, I sadly didn't get to watch it all in one fell swoop over a weekend.  I missed it.

I've watched/listened to/read the talks since, but I always love the heavy concentration of watching them all at once.  It's like getting an IV of spiritual enlightenment.

Still, I love conference!  One story that I've thought of over and over has also felt relevant to me over and over.  It's from Elder Gary B. Sabin:

My father-in-law taught at BYU and loved BYU football but could not bring himself to watch their games because he was so nervous about the outcome. Then a wonderful thing happened—the VCR was invented, which made it possible for him to record the games. If BYU won, he would watch the recording with perfect confidence, absolutely certain of the ending! If they were penalized unfairly, injured, or behind late in the fourth quarter, he wasn’t stressed because he knew they would pull it out! You might say he had “a perfect brightness of hope”!

So it is with us. As we are faithful, we can have equal certainty that things will work out well for us in the end. The Lord’s promises are sure. This does not mean this mortal university will be easy or without many tears, but as Paul wrote, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

It reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Joseph and The Technicolor Dreamcoat:  We've read the book, and you come out on top.

I'm grateful for living prophets that inspire and lead and remind us of things we know.

"things will work out well for us in the end"

What more could we ask for?

The winds of change

Yesterday I was released as the Young Women president and I got a new calling.  I am a Temple and Family History Consultant.

Gulp.

On the one hand, I feel a bit of relief about the YW thing.  I mean, you know how I love not camping.  On the other hand, I will miss those girls!  They are some great girls.  The good news, I now have a short list of candidates my sons can marry.  I just need to convince my boys (and probably the girls).

Braeden handed me this during sacrament meeting:

Which was, you know, helpful.

I am sort of enthusiastic about my new job but also feel a bit of trepidation because I don't know much about family history.  The bishop gave me a xerox copied description of my calling from the Church News (apparently it's a new calling in the church).  The first line of the description said that you didn't need to be experienced in family history.  So I guess I'm qualified.

There were tears and hugs from the young women which sort of shocked me in a good way.  They like me!  I like them too.

I'll miss them.

The network

Earlier this week, some kind person in Gloucester, VA sent me this:

I love whoever gave him treats and then sent me the picture.  It makes my day every time I see his face.

Saturday night we had three missionaries over for dinner.  I'm the first to sign up when we have a chance.  Mostly so I can text a picture to their mothers.

Their mothers and I texted back and forth a little.  They said thanks and I said I know, I have a missionary too.

Sunday night we went to Ogden to meet Elder Justesen who is serving there.  His mother is one of the MVPs of Braeden's mission.  She fed him often.  She cut his hair.  She texted me pictures of him.  She let him borrow some pants she was going to send to Elder Justesen when Braeden slid in the mud.  I love her.

She had posted on Facebook about a musical fireside the Ogden missionaries were presenting.  It seemed like a good chance to meet him.  I took cookies.

When we got there, I remembered that Ryan Jenkins, who was born to my friend Lisa when we lived in Connecticut, was temporarily serving in the Ogden mission too before going to the Philippines.  (This is the kind of stuff you learn from Facebook.) I told Adam, "That's Ryan!"

On one hand, I wanted to talk to him and take his picture and send it to Lisa (of course I did).  On the other hand, Ryan wouldn't remember me and would probably think I was straight up crazy.  The mom side of me won.  I got up to walk over to him and then I realized he was talking to Davis!  Davis is Ryan's older brother and he was one of Braeden's best buddies back in the Connecticut days.  Every Friday night either Lisa or Apryl or I (along with our husbands) would babysit Braeden, Davis and Thomas so the other two couples could go out on a date.

I walked up to Davis and Ryan. "Hi, I'm Thelma Davis," I told them.

"Braeden's mom!?!" Davis said.  Ryan had no idea who I was.  I chatted with them for awhile and explained why we were there.  (Davis was there because he's going to BYU.)

Lisa and I were messaging back and forth about the Jenkins boys sighting when I got a text from Rebecca.  She told me where her son was sitting in the choir.  (I already had figured it out--super recognizer.)  I asked Adam, "How did she know where he was sitting?"

Adam said that maybe there was another mother in the audience texting Rebecca with the info so she could text me.  "There's a whole underground network of mothers working together," he said.

And that is when I decided that I'm glad I was saved for these latter days so I could be part of this maternal texting network.

As sisters in Zion we all work together....

After the fireside we found Elder Justesen.  Just as expected, he was very nice and friendly and not at all alarmed by this eager family of strangers who gave him cookies and wanted to meet him.

You guessed it--I texted Rebecca this picture.  I look sort of loopy in the picture but 1) it was the end of a long day and 2) I'm not photogenic at best.

But you already knew that.

Rebecca and I texted back and forth.  She appreciated the picture and the cookies for her son and I felt like they were mere drops in the bucket to repay how generous she was to Braeden.  We decided someday our boys would be friends in real life.

I hope Rebecca and I will be too.

My overflowing heart

When my heart overflows, it is in the form of tears.  And there have been some tears around here lately.  I have had an amazing experience and I am in no way capable of finding the words to describe it all.

I have to try because I want to remember.  Also, I want to record it for Braeden.

It was incredible to have Stella here.  At the airport Stella hugged me when we met.  Then she set her bags down so she could give me a real and proper hug and said, "And that one is from your son."

And that is when the tears started.

She had had lunch with him that day.

There were many things Stella and I bonded over.  We talked about anything and everything much like women that are soul sisters do.  We share a love though and it's for that kid.  We talked a lot about Braeden.  She knows him in ways that I don't now.  I am pretty expert on the first 18 years of his life but she knows him now.

I loved hearing about what he is like now, as a missionary.  I loved hearing about what he means to her.  What mother doesn't love people who love her children?!?

Stella is the most remarkable person I've ever known.  She has had a very successful and full career and her work in Africa for UNICEF has literally saved millions of lives.  She held positions of high esteem and great importance.  Yet, she sat in my kitchen and made me feel like a wonder because I made pumpkin muffins from a mix.

She is wonderfully generous in both her praise and with everything else.  She bonded with our children and they loved her much like I assume everyone who meets her must love her.

I was filled with gratitude when I heard the ways her life has changed as a result of hearing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  She had endured a series of heartbreaking losses but her pain has been lifted.  It is amazing and wonderful.  It is the same miracle that is available to all.  And it is precisely the sharing of that peace that makes it worthwhile for me to send my boy across the country.  I want him to share that message with as many people as possible.

We had the opportunity to go to the temple with Stella.  We performed proxy baptisms for her parents, grandparents, and her son.

Does my face look tear stained?  Because it was one of those occasions when my feelings poured out my eyes.  Incredible!

We attended two sessions of General Conference together in the conference center.  Stella applied the tenacity that eradicated diseases in Africa to getting tickets to conference.  And she got them!

How I loved being there with her!

Sunday afternoon, on our way home from conference, we stopped by and met the Morris family.  Elder Morris has been Braeden's companion and has been teaching Stella also.

The above picture is from Stella's baptism, three weeks ago.

We "recreated" the picture with the moms:

And then the dads...

And then for good measure we had our favorite missionaries' younger siblings pose for a picture:

What fun!

Monday, Adam and Stella and I went back to Salt Lake City and saw the sights at Temple Square and then drove through the mountains which were showing off their fall colors and also dusted with snow.  It was beautiful!

One great thing about spending time with Stella was the fascinating conversation.  We talked about everything from politics to religion to race relations and her unique perspective was enlightening.  Before dropping her off at the airport, I asked her every medical question I had.  It's not every day you share an order of sweet potato fries with an accomplished doctor.

Before Stella came to see us, Braeden emailed that she was like family to him.  She's like family to all of us now.  I never knew Braeden's mission would result in new friends--friends that are like family.

Stella is part of all of us now and I couldn't be more grateful.

Celebrating weekend

It's a much more low key time of year around here than Christmas, but Easter is every bit as meaningful to me.  (If Easter decorations were red, I'd probably transform my house with them.  As it is, I have a few cute bunnies I pull out Easter weekend.  Pastels.  Meh.)

We kicked off the celebrations Friday evening with me going to watch Adam referee a basketball game, Emma going to the Hale Theater with her friends and Mark staying home alone (at his own request).

Who says we don't know how to party?

I enjoyed watching Adam referee until it started feeling like I was trapped in the play place at McDonald's.  (That's the stuff nightmares are made of.)

It was a men's game--a regional semi finals.  The thing about men that play basketball is that they're pretty young and they have young kids.  The wives come and watch the game but mostly wrangle children and visit with each other.  It was very familiar to me, because I used to be there.  I was the one with the wild redhead that was something of a whirling dervish.  It was all sort of contained until the teams showed up for the next game (complete with wives and toddlers in tow).  It got crazy.  I had unknown children climbing all over me and balls bouncing all around me and children screaming because they were tired and bored and maybe watching your dad play basketball isn't as thrilling as it could be when you're two.

As soon as the buzzer rang, I beat a hasty retreat for the quiet sanctuary of home.  I loved my adorable toddlers--even the wild redhead.  But I really like teenagers.

Saturday was more basketball for Adam (I didn't go watch this time) and chores around the house and appliance shopping.  We're just looking.  Our dishwasher is slowly dying and our refrigerator is fine, we just hate it.  So we're perusing.  Anything's fun with Adam.  Even appliance shopping.  Also Emma and Mark are pretty good company.  Mark buckled up his burrito.

Safety first.

Saturday evening, Emma and I went to the Women's Broadcast.  It was so good.  I love hearing from our inspired leaders.  They make me want to be better.  So does sitting next to Emma.  I want to be what she needs.  The Women's Broadcast always makes me excited for General Conference.  What a wonderful world!

Sunday morning the house was quiet and I prepared little Easter treats for our children.

A few treats and some cash.  Emma's Easter basket is in her closet and I didn't want to wake her up.  So she has a little nest instead.

I know what you're thinking.  Pretty fancy.

After church we had Ammon and Melanee's family over for an Easter feast.  It was fun to visit with them and cuddle with Lucette and teach them how to play Monopoly Deal.

Last night I was reflecting on my week.  It was quite a week with ups and downs.  I was mostly filled with immense gratitude.  I'm grateful for peace in adversity.  I'm grateful for shining examples in the form of young missionaries who survive terrorist attacks with their faith intact.  I'm grateful for a good conversation I had with my grandma about how much the gospel means to us.  I'm grateful for my family...every last member.  I'm grateful for my missionary son who I love more and more each day.  Finally, I'm grateful for Easter.  I love the reminders of rebirth and renewal.  I love remembering the Atonement of Jesus Christ and knowing that because of Him, all is well.

In the face of adversity, there is nothing wrong with hope.

Hope smiling brightly before us

Another terrorist attack.  I tried to just avoid the news altogether.  Between the presidential election and ISIS, I'd rather just stick my head in the sand.  Wake me up when it's all over.

Then I heard about the missionaries.

Two about Braeden's age and one about the age of my parents.  They were going about their way, delivering a fourth missionary to the airport and once she was on the other side of security, the bomb went off.  All four were injured.

When you have a missionary son, that is heart stopping.  Maybe it's heart stopping anyway.

The weather yesterday was rotten too.  There was an angry spring mix of hail and rain and snow.  Then there was the wind.  The wind doesn't so much blow around our mountain home as it howls.  Sometimes I wonder if the house will give up and blow away.  Maybe I should get some ruby slippers just in case I need to find my way back from Oz.

The violent weather didn't do much to calm my troubled heart about the violent world.  Then I remembered the Family Home Evening lesson the night before.  (And it would be sad if I forgot it, since I was the one teaching.)

We talked about the Atonement.  I told our children in no uncertain terms that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ there is nothing unfixable.  I know that is true.

It is good to remember on a day when you feel like it's you against the buffetings of the world.

source

Weekend report

Friday I started my latest project.  I'm painting our kitchen table.  It is a hand-me-down from my friend and former neighbor Jill.  It is a good, solid and big table.  I just wanted it painted.

I will never be accused of mulling things over too long.  I decided to use some of the leftover paint from Adam's office.  I like the color and it's really high quality paint.  I also decided I needed an orbital sander for the project.  I didn't even know what that was until I saw it on a furniture painting tutorial online.  So I did what I do and texted my brothers for advice.  Enoch and Ammon have tools for days.  I figured they could tell me what to get.  Ammon did one better than that and told me to borrow his.  At first I said I wanted to be a grown up and get my own but then I realized that I don't exactly have a lot of tables to paint so I took him up on the offer.

Emma and Mark and I moved the table to the garage which was a tricky endeavor.  Big table + narrow doors.  When you add strong kids, it worked though.  I sanded and painted.  As I was brushing the paint on, I thought, "Does this color even work with the rest of the kitchen?"

Probably not.  I'm the queen of good enough and making stuff work though.  I'm not afraid.

I'll post some pictures when the whole process is done.  We still need to add a million (ball park figure) coats of polyurethane.

Friday night Adam had basketball games to referee (when you live in Utah County there is such a thing as church regional basketball tournaments and they have a sort of endless nature--it's good that Adam enjoys it) and Mark went to a friend's house to watch a movie.

That left Emma and me to fend for ourselves.  We went to Kneaders for dinner because that's a good way to fend for yourself.  Also, sensing the threat of boiling over, I had Emma write a list of everything stressing her out when we got home from dinner.  All the impending doom.  We sat across from each other at the (substitute folding) table and slayed her dragons.  We wrote new lists (I love lists!) and I commanded her to cease and desist from worrying about a lot of the stuff because either 1) her dad and I could handle it or 2) it was too early to start worrying.  I told her it was like worrying now about paying for her eventual kids' braces.

She countered it was nothing like that and I told her to stop worrying!

Why is it always easier to see that someone else is worrying needlessly than to stop yourself from worrying needlessly?  I guess that's why we have each other.

(But "Get Accepted to College" was on Emma's list of distress!  I think someone will take my little straight A student....)

Saturday was more basketball for Adam and painting for me.  Mark assembled my new red wagon that was a Christmas present.  I'm going to fill it with flowers on my deck.

Mark pulled everything out of the box and said, "I love it when something is simple.  I can just tell how this is going to go together."

I looked at the disparate parts and had no idea how it would go together so I'm glad I have that kid.

I got text messages from Luke wondering who I was cheering for, Yale or Duke.  He's a big time Duke fan so I told him I'd cheer for Duke because of him.

Adam got home and reminded me of this shirt I have and told me I should rethink my support.

I then declared I was going for the blue team.   I don't think Luke appreciated my cowardice because he texted to gloat after Duke won.

I'm glad Jennifer lets Luke use her phone to text me.

Saturday afternoon Adam and I hit Winco for steak because we do that every Saturday afternoon (steak for Sunday dinner is a new but honored tradition).  Emma went with us because we were stopping at IFA and she wanted to see the baby chicks.  A store employee saw Emma and me looking at the chicks while Adam was perusing weed killer and asked if we wanted to buy some.

I almost laughed out loud.  Because no.

There was more painting and sanding (it's a process, that table!) and then Adam and Mark and I tried to take the base off the old red wagon (because I have a hare brained idea for a new life for the wagon).  The screws were rusted and the whole bottom of the wagon was rusted through in spots.  I got my sledge hammer and wanted to use it.

I told Adam how much I love having a sledge hammer.  He said, "I know you do," and he led me away from his car which I was near.

We managed to sort of get it apart but I'm going to take it to my dad's shop for some tweaking.

That night, Emma had friend plans so Mark and Adam and I watched Pee Wee's Big Holiday on Netflix.  Mark was super skeptical about the whole thing but Adam and I convinced him.  Pee Wee Herman is the exact right amount of creepy and ridiculous and funny.

At bedtime, unrelated to Pee Wee's Big Holiday, I had hiccups that wouldn't go away.  Adam said, "I think I will vote for Donald Trump."

I knew that wasn't true and was waiting for his punch line.

Finally, I said, "What are you talking about?"

He said, "I just wanted to make your hiccups go away."

And guess what?  They had gone away.  It's the first positive thing I can say about Donald Trump.

Sunday was the dedication for the Provo City Center Temple.  There were three sessions so we watched Ammon and Melanee's kids during the first session and went to the second.

I loved reading stories to Azure and made an elaborate mess out of feeding carrots to Lucette.  I hardly saw Cormac because he and Mark were playing.

I also loved the dedication of the temple!  I feel a lot of sentimental fondness for the Provo City Center Temple and I enjoyed the outpouring of goodness I felt at its dedication.  I know temples are holy places and I'm beyond grateful for the blessings I receive there and for the fortunate proximity I have to temples.

Sunday night ended with a fireside about the upcoming trek this summer.  Emma, based on her past trauma, is dreading it.  Mark, not old enough to go, is jealous.  I ran into Amy, my friend from college at the fireside.  She's going as a Ma.  Unlike Mark, I'm not jealous.

Because of the whole I love not camping thing.

We came home and played a hand of Monopoly Deal (I won't mention who won, but I did).  Emma and Mark each put a toothpick in their mouth and started speaking like they were 1920s gangsters.

The other day on the phone, I asked Marianne how we both got such weird kids.  I said, "I guess because they were homeschooled."

Then I said, "Wait--"

That may have implicated their mothers....

From the ashes

Sunday night I took my third trip to the Provo City Center Temple.  It doesn't get old. 

Saturday evening we found out that the Young Women in our ward and their mothers had been invited to go to a special tour of the room where the brides prepare for their weddings as well as a sealing room (where marriages are performed).  I scrambled to get tickets and to let everyone know. 

Sunday was a busy day and by the time I sat in my seat before the tour, I mostly just wanted to go to bed. Then they showed us a video about Young Women and temples and...I cried.  Then a couple spoke to us.  The man found out where we were from.  He said, "So this is thirty minutes from your home and you passed a temple to get here.  Plus there is a temple the other direction even closer to your home."

He told us about his wife who is from Argentina.  When she was baptized in the '70s, the nearest temple was 12,000 miles away.

That is staggering.

Not for the first time, I had the feeling that I'd better make something of myself since I have been given so many advantages and blessings in life.

He talked a little about the Provo City Center Temple.  It used to be a tabernacle.  It was used for church meetings and concerts.  Adam and I had stake conference there when we were first married and when I taught at American Heritage School, we had our Patriotic Program at the Provo Tabernacle.  It was a beautiful and serviceable building.

Then it caught fire.

It completely burned except the brick shell.

The bricks were soft and since the building was built by pioneers back in the day, it was not anything close to earthquake proof or sturdy.

Our speaker told us there was a lot of debate about what should be done with the building.  Most everyone thought that it wasn't worth it to repair.  Someone suggested it be razed and a new post office could be built in its place.

But then at the October 2011 General Conference, President Monson made this announcement:

Late last year the Provo Tabernacle in Utah County was seriously damaged by a terrible fire. This wonderful building, much beloved by generations of Latter-day Saints, was left with only the exterior walls standing. After careful study, we have decided to rebuild it with full preservation and restoration of the exterior, to become the second temple of the Church in the city of Provo.

The speaker pointed out that God had a different purpose for the tabernacle.  He then said we are like the tabernacle.  He said, "You are beautiful and do good things now. If you haven't already, you will someday have a fire.  It may be small or you may really crash and burn.  Some people, including you, may think you're worthless, but the Lord just has a different purpose for you." 

He can make something magnificent out of the ashes.

The temple is stunning and gorgeous.  It has been strengthened in amazing ways and is glorious in its new purpose.

It was meaningful to be there with the young women (especially Emma).  As we walked through these elegant rooms that were enhanced by their significance in my life, it was a silent tour but I was sending them telepathic messages.  Urgent ones:  You want this in your life.  You want to get married in a temple where you will be sealed to your husband and children forever.  Don't settle for anything less.  You want this girls.

An attractive college aged woman was leading our tour.  At the end, when we were outside the temple, one of my girls, Rose, said to the tour leader, "I just have to tell you, you are beautiful."  The woman was taken back but smiled happily.  As we were taking the protective shoe coverings off our feet, the girls were still dazzled by the tour leader apparently.  They told her they loved her shoes.  "Thanks," she said, "I got them in New York when I was living in Connecticut."

That caught Emma's attention.  She asked where in Connecticut (south of Hartford).  Emma said, "I was born in New Haven."

"I love New Haven!" the woman said. "The best pizza restaurant in the world is in New Haven."

"Pepe's?" Emma asked.

The delight over being called beautiful and having her shoes admired was completely eclipsed by the Pepe's mention.  The woman grinned widely and gave Emma a high five.  Because Pepe's.

On the drive home I reflected on all I had to be grateful for:

1-close proximity to temples
2-opportunities to serve good girls
3-an eternal marriage
4-Adam
5-my kids who are mine forever
6-Pepe's

It's a pretty good life.

Why is Braeden so happy?

For one thing, that's just him.  He's always been a happy ray of sunshine.  He was an easy baby and a cheerful toddler and an exuberant teenager.  It's just who he is.  He is happy on a cellular level. There were many occasions while he was growing up when I wasn't happy...at all...and he would cheer me up.  He would make an excellent court jester.

I think there's more to it than that though.

When I read his letters, I can see that he is just downright joyful right now.  At first glance it doesn't make perfect sense.  If you look at his life in terms of what most Americans view as a happy life, he's not living it.  He doesn't live in a fancy house.  He's living in a trailer park.  He doesn't have a nice car--until recently, he only biked.  Now he has access to a car but with limited miles.  He doesn't have a girlfriend nor is he surrounded by friends and family.  He's not earning lots of money.  (He's earning zero money.)  He's not getting accolades for his success.  In fact, he is mostly rejected in his efforts to share his message about Jesus Christ.

But that kid is the happiest I've ever seen him.

And that's saying something.

In his email this week, he wrote:

...the best part of the week has been being able to feel closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ...

and

Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the way that we can have complete happiness in this life and joy and hope in the life to come.  I know that Christ lives and His Gospel is the way to happiness.

So if my son, living far away from everything he knows, is the happiest he's ever been, can I have that too?

I think so.

We had stake conference last Sunday and our stake president said, "There is no room for discouragement."

I thought, really?  Because I feel discouraged sometimes.  How can there be no room for it?

Then I remembered Braeden and his effervescent joy and I thought, maybe he's right.

Maybe knowing who you are and Whose you are, really knowing, edges out discouragement.

Maybe when you know your purpose and you fully believe it's a worthwhile purpose (which Braeden does), it's easier to stay happy.

Just this morning I read in the January Ensign an article entitled "We Believe in Being Positive".  I love this:

Being of good cheer does not mean being ignorant or naive to life’s challenges. Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles described cheerfulness as “a deep trust in God’s unfolding purposes—not only for all of mankind, but for each of us as individuals.” Challenges will certainly come, for they are a natural part of mortality, but we don’t have to be weighed down by discouragement and sadness. We can put our trust in the Lord and be positive.

So I'm going to try to remember this.  I'm going to hold a picture of my good-humored son in my mind.

What kind of lucky day was it when I gave birth to Braeden?  He blesses my life even when he's on the other side of the country.