Weekend

 Friday our school year was over.  I loved seeing sixth graders come in to have me sign their autograph books or shirts.  Some of them asked me if I'd remember them when they went to junior high.  Yes.  They looked around the classroom (shrouded in plastic drop cloths) and said, "I remember this room."

My own students wondered if I will remember them and I will.  And just like childbirth, the negative parts will fade and I will remember them as mostly angelic.

At the end, two of the boys were crying.  We got in a big circle and I said I was the middle of the cinnamon roll.  We wound up in a concentric spiral and then hugged.  (I said, "Don't crush anyone!")

They ran off to their summer when the bell rang.  I hope it is good.  I hope they are fed and cared for and don't spend the whole time playing video games and watching YouTube.

We had our end of year faculty celebration.  We ate a delicious catered lunch and had farewells for the people leaving.  There were awards for staff member of the year, team of the year (we didn't repeat, but in our hearts we did) and teacher of the year.

They went with the pity vote I think and I was awarded Teacher of the Year.  Adam and our kids said it wasn't a pity vote.  They said they wouldn't have given it to me if I was a terrible teacher.  That is true, but I also don't think they would have given it to me if I didn't have cancer.

I appreciated it all the same though.

When Matt called me to the front of the room, he said, "It is hard to fight cancer and low reading scores at the same time."

He is not wrong.

I loaded another armful of things to take home into my car and went home and took a nap.  I was tired and not too productive for the rest of the day.

When we had planned the meals for the week, Mark said we should go to dinner to celebrate the end of the school year on Friday.

We pretty much eat out every Friday, but this time we were celebrating....

Saturday I put stuff away and we had a big Costco trip.  We bought a deck box to put out by the fire pit for the chair cushions.  I got Mark to come and help unload the car.  Adam said, "We got you something..."

Mark thought we'd brought him home some lunch, but Adam said, "We brought you a project."

So Mark gets to build the deck box, which is almost as good as lunch, I guess.

We went to The Sheep Detectives which I liked and also fell asleep during a few times.

I led the singing in primary on Sunday.  The hardest part I think is the age range.  The children are ages 3-11 and I feel like no matter what I do, some of them are a little disengaged.

I had requested an audience with the queen so Braeden called on FaceTime and we got to talk a little.  The Young Prince was sleeping.

Adam and I took a walk in the evening at Harvey Park where I used to walk with Clarissa.  It made me miss that girl.

Today we go to the cemeteries.  It will be a depleted group, but I am looking forward to seeing the ones who will be there.  I love Memorial Day.

Grateful Friday

 My team and I had matching end of year t-shirts:

When I saw this picture I thought, "I'm a little teapot, short and stout."  I'm destined to be the short one in any group it seems.  Also my teammates have normal smiles and I'm just ecstatic apparently....

When I got home yesterday I texted Kim that I wasn't up for a walk.  I said, "I feel like I already took three walks."  I was SO tired.  

There was all kinds of bedlam.  I realized that Mark as a third grader was exactly like most of those boys.  I only had one of him--or two when Gavin was over.  A bakers dozen of Marks is a lot.  When we have unstructured time, things get crazy.  They love making paper airplanes so I put some origami videos on Google Classroom so they could pause the video as needed.  They made and flew so many paper airplanes!  One landed on top of the whiteboard and I said, "I'll get it," and started walking across the room.  One boy started hoisting another boy to reach it and I said, "I'll get it." The boy stood on a shelf and snapped the not all that strong shelf in two.  

A bakers dozen of Marks at age 9....

We cleaned out desks, including for the ones who weren't at school.  You never saw so much chaos.  We got it all accomplished.  I squirted shaving cream on their desks when they were done and they had a good time playing with it and then cleaning it all up.  

I made sure everyone took everything home with them.  By the end of the day I was exhausted!

And I still had miles to go.  

Mark came and brought me a soda from Maverik.  I met him in the office and I told all the ladies, "Sons are worth a lot."  They concurred, even the ones who don't have sons.

Mark and I consolidated everything and took stuff to the gym for surplus and sorted out what I was taking home for the summer and what was staying at school.  Then we covered everything (floor to ceiling in places) with plastic drop cloths.  I have fabric over some of my bulletin boards and I don't want dust from 1977 on my fabric coverings.  

I told Mark I had I-have-a-grown-son-helping-me survival guilt so we went to go help the 4th grade teachers who were working in their teammate's classroom while she is home on maternity leave.  Then I gave the rest of my drop cloths to my team and offered them help, but they said they were in good shape.

I got home and unloaded everything.

Then I. Sat. Down.

I am grateful for my sweet students.  Several of them brought me gifts and the homemade ones are the best.

I am grateful for my team.  Miriam brought pulled pork and homemade rolls for lunch.  Alissa gave me the shaving cream and ideas every time I asked her this last week. (She had the idea for origami and it was a winner!)

I am grateful for the helping spirit among teachers, because they are a pitch in and help group, always.

I am grateful Adam is home!

I am grateful for Mark.

Sons are worth a lot.

Field Day

 (I love living in the shadows of a mountain range and I always will.)

Yesterday was field day and it was pretty good.  There were the struggles of herding children from station to station, but I told them I would carry neither water bottles nor jackets and for the first time ever, no one lost anything.  Pretty amazing.

Most of them had a good time.  The aides and specialty teachers run the stations and do a great job.  Besides field day we did some math and I read to them--I am in the second to last chapter of our Humphrey book.  

The teachers beat the 6th graders in the kickball game and the PTA sold candy to the students and I think they made good money!  Most of the younger kids sit in the grass and eat candy and ignore the game.  Alissa and Miriam both played kickball so I was minding the third grade.  A boy in Miriam's class couldn't find his money.  He 100% knew that he had brought it outside.  I offered Takis for anyone who could find it and they fanned out around the grass, scouring the place.  

One of Alissa's students came up to me and said, "I'll share my money with him if he can't find his."  They really are the sweetest sometimes.

Finally the boy said, "Maybe I left it in the classroom..." So a group was sent on a quest back to the classroom.  Sure enough it was there.

I opened soda cans for kids who bought soda, but couldn't open it.

One of my students came up to me with a wad of chewed up caramel.  He showed me that one of his teeth was stuck inside.  I said, "Wow," because I had no other way to respond.  He dug the tooth out and held it out for me and I really didn't want it.  I said, "Do you have a bag the candy came in?"

He fished a ziplock bag out of his pocket and said, "It might have a hole in it."  Then he stuck his finger in a hole and said, "Yep."

I said, "Well put it all in your pocket."  He put the holey bag and tooth in his pocket and popped the caramel back in his mouth.

Besides that, I told everyone who asked if they could use the bathroom to go in the PE door because it was open.

Today we will do all the end of year things for real--I will show them the slide show, give them their awards, clean out desks, send everything home.  Friday is an hour and a half long and a lot of kids don't come.  I don't know why we go through that charade, but we do.

Also today (late), Adam is coming home.  That guy is having about 5-6 weeks of traveling off and on.  Happily I will be along for some of it.

I think I can, I think I can

 Yesterday we had Camp Day.  Miriam and Alissa moved their desks and set up tents in their classrooms.  My part of Camp Day is an art project and they need desks, plus I don't want to mess with tents. 

(I like not camping.)

My same student who groused about not liking the treat from testing, was unhappy we didn't have tents (even though we were rotating classes and he would get to be in tents).  I called him over to my desk and told him that him complaining made me want to do less for him.

He stopped complaining.  

I read them The Berenstain Bears book The Bear Scouts.  They love it just like I loved it when I was their age.  That silly Papa Bear....

Then we did our art project.   It all went well and I did it three times and didn't run out of any of the art supplies so high fives all around.

We worked on their memory books in the afternoon and I spelled a million words for them.  One student was just having me spell everything.  She even asked how to spell OK.

I said, "I bet you can figure that one out."

She looked mystified and then it occurred to her.

They got to sign autographs with other third graders so everyone was running around getting signatures like they weren't going to lose the memory book 15 minutes after they got home.

During recess, I noticed the 6th grade boys playing kickball with all the intensity of 6th grade boys who are going against the teachers the next day.  I said, "Are you guys practicing for tomorrow?"

One of my former students said, "Yes, and Coach Childs thinks we have a 50-50 chance."

I didn't tell him, but they don't have a 50-50 chance.  The teachers are not in a mood to show mercy to 6th graders at the end of the school year.

I will do my typical duties of holding all the teachers' keys and cell phones and minding all the children.  In addition to liking not to camp, I like to not play kickball.

Mark came after school and helped me get my room whipped into shape.  He'll come back Thursday to help me cover everything since we are getting new ceiling tiles and the other ones have been there since 1977.  They are expecting a lot of dust and we need to plan accordingly.

The last week of school

Yesterday my team and I were talking before school.  We all agreed that this is not our favorite week.  We are less teachers and more camp counselors.  Basically we are just trying to keep things going.  For science we talked about pushes and pulls and force and I had those little frogs you push down on and they jump.  I made a bracket and we had a competition.  A little bit educational.

My hardest student was gone.  It was an amazing day.  Remarkable.  I kept wondering where half the class was.  

He was the only one absent.

Never let anyone tell you one person can't make a difference!

In order to balance the aggravation scales, I didn't have that extra measure of energy sapping, but I have lost our mail key!

It is so frustrating.  Losing things is the worst.  We have a locked mailbox down the street and I always keep the mail key in a little compartment in my car.  For reasons beyond my understanding, we don't have a spare.  But in nearly 12 years of living here, I've never once lost the mail key.

I have looked everywhere. Multiple times.  I have looked all over my car and in my bag and every coat pocket.  Everywhere.  The best I can determine, maybe I accidentally threw it in the recycling bin when I was recycling junk mail.  (Although I always leave it in the car, so I don't know why I wouldn't have done that.  Except I didn't.)

I need to go to the post office in person, which feels like adding insult to injury.  They will likely have to drill it out and issue a new key and it will take "7 to 14 days" and I just want to hit my head against the wall.

Ugh.

At least my hardest student was absent.

Also, we had our animal showcase.  Each student had an art project about their animal and they had written a paragraph about the animal they had researched.  They did a great job.  Their parents came to see the projects.  The students were super nervous, which I didn't really understand.  Then I realized some of them were nervous their parents wouldn't come.  And several of the parents didn't come.

The parents who did come went around and looked at other students' work which was so kind.  One of the mothers in particular was so friendly and made even the most reticent students come alive and talk about their projects.  It made me happy.

There are a lot of ways in this world to be a hero.

Weekend

I left school in a ratty mood on Friday.  I had created a wrapped box for my students with seven ribbons tied around it.  Every time we finished a test, we cut a ribbon.  They were excited to know what was inside.  Several of them asked me if I knew what was inside.

Do they know how the world works?  I wrapped it....

We cut the last ribbon and their prize was that they could either choose Takis or Twinkies (for the white kids for whom the Takis are too spicy).  Most of them were thrilled.  A few of the boys complained that they had been "scammed" and "gypped."  I don't know what they were thinking would be inside the shoebox sized box.  A new car for everyone?

It bugged me though.  I don't have to give them anything, and I told them that.  I said, "Buying you treats is not part of my job and you don't have to have one if you don't want one."

They looked chagrined and took a package of Takis.  Some of the girls, who are more socially aware, thanked me in an exaggerated fashion, then gave those boys a side eye.

Their behavior was pretty wild too. We practiced for our animal showcase.  The parents are coming today to see their projects and we had them show their projects to the other third grade classes.  It was chaotic.  The past few years I have done the same fun activities the last week of school.  This year I also have a stack of worksheets because this group can't really handle much unstructured time.  If they lose it, we'll just do worksheets.

I had gone to school early several times in the week so that I could leave early Friday.  I went home and we finished packing up and hit the road for Starr Valley.  I think by the time we hit the dirt road, my shoulders had fully relaxed.  Adam emptied the mouse trap (I am grateful for him!) and Mark immediately started vacuuming flies although there weren't too many.  I wiped off the counter and put stuff away and took the dust-covers off the furniture.  Soon enough we were in good shape.  We went over to visit my dad.  He shaved his mustache to work at the temple and he looks more like his brothers without it.  We enjoyed visiting him and I missed my mom.

Saturday morning Hannah and I took a walk.  (I would have tried to have Olivia join us, but she was at a track meet.)  While I was tying my shoes, Hannah said, "Look at those tiny petite shoes!  You are so little!"

Only one of my Dahl cousins would think that my size 9 shoes are tiny and petite.

We started walking and talking and soon enough we were both crying.  We talked about grief and life and things we have learned in the past year.  Losing her daughter, Norah, last October has changed Hannah.  She was always my beautiful and stellar cousin.  Now she is more wise and compassionate and has been refined into someone else.  I will think about some of the things she told me she's learning for a long time.  When we got back to our house, we sat down inside and visited.  She wanted to share something on her phone but didn't have her reading glasses.  I gave her mine, but they are progressive lenses and it made it worse.  I went and got Adam's glasses off his nightstand and they worked.

I still marvel that we used to play in the orchard and sit on Olivia's bed (Olivia, Britta, Hannah and me) and draw page after page of girls in fancy dresses.  

Now we need reading glasses.

I used my Tineco mop (with the replaced part so it no longer leaks) and cleaned the floors.  It is an amazing machine and I couldn't be more happy about it!  Adam and Mark worked outside.  My dad came over for lunch.  He drove his excavator over.  I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I thought you might want to drive it."

Ha ha.

He had brought it over for a project though and wanted to leave it there, so we gave him a ride home.  First, after eating and visiting a bit, we went to the cemetery.  We saw my mom's grave and Norah's, then my grandma and grandpa's grave as well as my cousin Amanda.

Here my dad was telling us some story and Mark snapped a picture.  That sky!

When we were dropping my dad off, I decided I wanted to go and talk to him more.  I did and had a good talk and a good cry.  I told him that it is a good thing I don't have an eye condition that is worsened by crying....

I am grateful to have my dad.  He is wise and gentle and a good listener.

He took me back home and I was emotionally spent, but better after all the crying.  I think I've been on autopilot a lot, just getting through the days.  It's good to have a cleansing cry every once in a while and confront whatever is beneath the surface.

A piece of Adam's sprinkler system broke off inside another piece and he thought he was going to have to go to town and buy a new part.  We took it over to my dad and of course my dad could fix it.  

We had dinner and then I looked around longingly at the little house and declared I didn't want to leave.  It is the same every time.  

Sunday we woke up to falling snow.  I took a picture out the kitchen window.

Adam braved the elements and took a picture outside from the exact view as his sunset picture from 12 hours earlier.

In this chaotic weather year, we had a winter without nearly enough snow, it got warm, then cold and the blossoms froze, then it was blazing hot, everything's dry too soon and then snow on May 17.  

We went to church (I brought sandals).  I finally saw Olivia at church.  I asked her what she was doing during the second hour.  She said, "Sunday School?"  I said I thought maybe we could visit.  She said, "I guess we could have a presidency meeting."

Adam and Mark went to Sunday School.  After, Adam said, "Your dad asked where you were."

I said, "And you ratted me out?"

When I hugged my dad good-bye he asked me if we had everything decided in our presidency meeting.  I said, "Yes, it was very productive."

We headed back to Utah, stopping in Salt Lake to briefly visit Emma.  Mostly we were all cold and tired and happy to get home.

Grateful Friday

 I am grateful we are going to Starr Valley for the weekend.  I am looking forward to seeing my dad and Olivia's family.  I am looking forward to our little house.  I am hoping we still have some lilacs to take to my mom's grave.

I am grateful for my team.  Yesterday we mapped out the rest of the year.  When I said, "But what are you doing that afternoon?" because we are finishing up a lot of the regular curriculum, they gave me good ideas.

I am grateful for my students.  Those maddening chaotic students are very sweet.  I love when one of them sidles up to my desk first thing in the morning to tell me a tale.  Yesterday a boy told me about the only time he ever saw his dad cry when both of his dad's parents died on the same day.  He told me he hadn't ever met those grandparents because they live in Mexico.  He told me that his parents couldn't afford a plane ticket when they came to the United States so they walked.  He was two years old at the time.

I said, "So you had a big adventure even though you don't remember it."

He is such a dear boy.  When he isn't rolling on the floor or being a scoundrel in one way or another, he is telling me he loves me or earnestly trying to finish his work even though it is really hard for him.

I am grateful these children were my people this year.  It was for sure the hardest school year I've had.  I had some really difficult students and, you know, cancer, and my mom passing away.  It's been a lot.  But they were my people and I love them.