Grateful Friday

 I was grateful to be back at school yesterday.  I had to apologize and soothe the injured feelings of my students because I didn't tell them I was going to be gone.  Also, the sub didn't know how to do things.

I told them that I didn't know I was going to be gone and I had written not great sub plans.  And also, the sub they had when I had my treatment was Lela, who was my sub all last year.  I said, "She knows how my classroom runs, this sub had never been here before."

They seemed a little mollified, but all day they kept telling me things the sub did wrong.

I would respond with, you still need to do what the sub says.

We had more conferences and everyone came except one parent.  A lot of parents just come at random times even though they signed up.  One mom was kind of miffed because I was at dinner during the time she signed up but there was no sign up during that time.

Because I was at dinner.

I squeezed everyone in though and got it done.

Today is the statewide read-a-thon and I'm looking forward to a chill day with lots of reading.  The third grade has activities planned and we are having Jamie and Matt come in at different times to read a story.  We are going to do silent reading and I'm going to read aloud to them.  It will be good.

I am super grateful Adam is home.  I am grateful for conference weekend.  I love it!  Emma is coming and staying Saturday night and it feels like a holiday and the gateway to the holiday season.

Happy times.

Migraine town

 I don't like visiting migraine town.

I had a headache all day on Tuesday.  It was manageable and we had a pretty good day.

It was the big day that they had earned their reward.  They all came in fuzzy pajamas and within minutes they complained about being hot.  Pretty soon it just smelled like sweaty children.

Luckily they haven’t hit puberty yet, so they were not too smelly.

They had their stuffed animals and blankets and I put everything on a top shelf none of them can reach.

A boy huffily told me that in second grade their teacher let them keep their stuffies if they weren’t a distraction.

I said there were probably a lot of ways I was different than their second grade teacher.

We had a pretty typical day, but the last thirty minutes, we pulled out all the blankets and they got cozy with their stuffed friends and we watched three Pixar shorts.

One of them was Bao.  They loved it.  There is no dialogue and one point a kid said, “Why do they not speak?”

An English learner who usually is pretty quiet said, “They’re Asian bro.”

They nodded like that explained it.

After school, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, the ac was on.  

We were not sad about it!

Also, Matt had come in our classrooms near the end of the day to give coupons to the students for the book fair.  In the gaggle of after school teachers that congregates in the hall sometimes, a few teachers were fretting about the state of things in their rooms when he walked in.

I soothed everyone’s worries by telling them we were watching a Pixar short when he came into my class.

At least they weren’t doing that when the principal walked in!

Parent teacher conferences are always a wild ride, especially the first ones of the year when you realize which apples didn’t fall far from which trees. 

A mother came in breathlessly and said, “I am sorry we are SO late.  Is it still ok to meet with you?”

They were actually 30 minutes early, but I had the time then so it was fine.  The woman unclear on the time she signed up for is mother to a student who is never quite sure of what is happening in class.  

A super chilled out islander girl came in with her tired looking pregnant mother and four siblings.  Her brothers tumbled around and soon enough the two littlest brothers had their shoes off and they were doing what seemed like a haka on top of my kiva.  Their older brother repeatedly jumped over the kiva (which is a big no in my class) and was equally wild.  The mother didn’t seem to notice.

My student said, “We aren’t supposed to….”

But then she gave up mid sentence.  I didn’t worry about it either.  Not my circus….

All the parents were really nice which explains why I like their children so much.  My headache kept getting bigger.  I went home and finally took my migraine medicine.  It didn't help, which is woeful.  It is the nuclear option and when it doesn't work, I've got nothing.

It did work to make me feel awful.  I hate the feeling of it.  Usually, it makes my headache go away so I can sleep and I don't feel the effects.  But since it didn't work, I was just miserable.  I couldn't sleep.  Finally at 1:00 AM, I gave up and wrote sub plans.  Sub plans written at 1:00 AM are never going to be great and these were extra bad because I said in the plans to have them go to iReady and do the math lessons I assigned and then I never assigned the lessons.  I realized my mistake and texted my team.  I told them to please apologize to the sub and I posted the lessons then, even though math was over.  I figured if she needed some filler in the afternoon, they could do math lessons.

I felt super frustrated about being home.  I would so much rather be at school.  I like it there and I have stuff to do there!

I spent the morning in comfy clothes and I tried to drink a lot of water.  I don't know if that really matters, but it feels like at least I am doing something.

After I took a nap, Mark texted to tell me that he had had an allergy shot between classes, was having a bad reaction and was coming home.

On the heels of that text, he texted that he had driven Adam's car and it wouldn't start.

I told him that there was a battery charger in the car.  Mark said he didn't think it was an electrical problem.  The lights and everything were on, it just wouldn't start.

We both tried to call/text Adam with no success.  I drove to UVU.  I was wearing mismatched t shirt and sweatpants and I looked 100% like I had just rolled out of bed because I had in fact just rolled out of bed.

When you have short curly hair you resemble an alpaca if you don't spray some water or something on it.

I was just rumpled alpaca.

I finally got ahold of Adam by doing a find my phone ping.  He called me back immediately (he'd been at a dinner with his phone on silent).  Mark and I miscommunicated about which building he would be at and we were neither one doing all that well.  He had hives all over his face and neck and seemed pretty miserable.  Adam thought that there was something else wrong with his car--maybe the starter or alternator?-- but he thought the charger would get it back on the road and home.  

Mark and I, in our various disheveled and miserable states, opened the hood and contemplated our life choices.  A guy drove by and rolled his window down and asked if we needed jumper cables.  We said we didn't.

Then the battery charger had 25% battery life which wasn't enough to get it going.  Adam kept saying to try again and I kept wishing our friend with jumper cables would return.

A girl drove up and parked next to us and asked if we needed jumper cables.

It was time for all the nice students at UVU to help the strugglers!  So kind!  She got us going and Mark and I drove home and I directly tucked myself under a blanket.

I realized that I need to be a lot nicer and give people the benefit of the doubt more often.  The horrible sub plans?  I was doing my best.  The guy with hives and his alpaca mother at the UVU parking lot?  They were doing their best.

Later in the afternoon, I took a walk with Kim that was very restorative.  It was what I needed.  When I got home, Mark was coming out of his allergy medicine haze and he and I tried to figure out what we wanted for dinner.  We ran through a whole list of things, but landed on toast (me) and beef jerky (him).

Some days are just like that.

Rainy day and Monday

 On the way to school, I warned myself it was going to be a hard day.  I wanted to manage my expectations.  I had been away from school for two days and that is always a lot to come back from.  There were piles and there were notes and all the things.

My students had been working for a reward where they got to wear their pajamas and bring a stuffed animal (if their parents approved) and we would watch a (short) movie.  They earned the reward when I was gone.

Some of the students wore pjs and brought stuffed animals yesterday.

Most of them did not.

All of them were freaked out.

But I thought we were doing it today!  But I didn't know we were doing it today!

I said we would do it the next day.  I messaged parents and told them.

We voted to decide a new reward for them to work toward.  I let three students make a suggestion and then we vote.  One boy with a delightful mop of dark blonde curly hair (which endears me because it reminds me of Mark, though Mark's was red) had an idea.  He wanted "dress like an old person day."  He was the only one who voted for it.

When he didn't win, he said, "Darn!  I really wanted to dress like George Washington!"

I suggested Halloween.  He said, "But it would have been so fun to dress like George Washington!"

Even on a sort of miserable day, those students are bright spots in my life.

It was hot in my classroom, of course it was.  It was a Monday so there were no specialties.  It was rainy so lunch recess was inside.  I had zero margin and so many piles.

It had stopped raining by afternoon recess, but I had recess duty.  It was the kind of day that I had to just leave my class to the fates so I could go use the bathroom.

(I am lucky that I have such a good class!)

I was worn all the way down and had a sore throat and headache and all the reminders that my immunity is low and fatigue is real.

I texted Mark that I needed to call the waaaaambulance because that is what he tells me if I get whiny.  He texted back kind encouragement.  I talked to Adam on my way home from school.  He is cheering for me from across the pond.

I read this verse in Isaiah last night:

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Sounds pretty good to me. 

Weekend

 I sat in my chair, I napped, I read, I watched Netflix and cross-stitched.

There you have it.  My weekend.

Saturday morning, I told Adam, "I feel drugged up, but I haven't taken anything."

He said, "You had over a liter of drugs pumped into you."

So that's true.

I also went to the primary practice on Saturday.  My job was to hold up the posters and it was basically all I had in me.  I had decided to make the posters for the primary program because they were still having a hard time with some of the lyrics.  At the practice it was pretty clear that if I sat off to the side, that was the best place for them all to see me. Also off to the side, I didn't block the view for the congregation as much.  It was also clear that them all looking off to the side wasn't ideal.

I tried different spots around the chapel and finally decided that the posters were more of a hindrance than not and I felt silly for all the time I had spent creating them.

Adam left on Saturday afternoon.  Mark drove him to the airport.  I felt out of sorts and restless and tired.  I'm a lot of fun.

I felt a little better Sunday.  I debated what to do about the posters.  Before church, I talked to the primary leaders and I said that I would not hold them up unless I felt like they really needed them.

Then, during the program, there were two boys who looked over at me during the songs (neither of them had been there for the Saturday practice).  Both of their families are pretty hit and miss with coming to church, and one of the boys had never been to primary at all because when they do come, his family leaves before primary.

I held up the posters for those two boys. 

Most of the other children didn't look over at me; they looked at their parents or at Sam, who was leading the music.

I felt really grateful that I had my posters.

It felt like a metaphor for life in general.  When we take even the smallest step in the right direction, we are helped.

Those two cute boys were there, wanting to participate and help was there.  I'm not saying this because I was so wise to make the posters.  I wasn't.  It didn't have much to do with me at all and I doubted why I had even made the posters.

God is good though.  He loves His children.  Maybe He especially loves the children who don't come to church so often.  When they do come, He wants them to feel included.  So if my posters helped with that, I'm grateful.

Adam watched the primary program from London.  He said it was good and he could hear the singing clearly.

Later in the afternoon, Mark and I took a walk.  I kept telling him to slow down and it was a very short walk, but it was a walk.  I'll get stronger.

Emma came over and she and I looked at photos and tried to order them in my photo project that never ends.  Mark was getting grouchy, so we stopped and made GF pumpkin pancakes (mix from Trader Joe's).  They are so good; I especially like them with applesauce.  Braeden and Anna introduced us to them.  After that we played Qwixx.  Mark destroyed us.

I went upstairs because I was tired and Mark and Emma went to the basement because he wanted to show her something. 

It was a good weekend.

Grateful Friday

 Nothing too exciting to report.  I did my immunotherapy.  It was pretty routine.  The nurse accessing my port poked and prodded for a long time.  It hurt.  The nurse who is super good at it was across the room and I was wishing for her.

Finally I said, "Has my port moved?!?"

She cheerfully said, "No, I just like to take my time."

Swell.

She got it inserted finally and meanwhile was chatting with me about my life.  When she learned I was a teacher, she said, "Thank you for what you do!"

I said, "Thank you for what you do!"

Because I realized even though she "likes to take her time" and poke at my port, I am very grateful for her and all the nurses like her who take good care of me.

I am grateful immunotherapy is better than chemotherapy.  I feel the same hit by a truck vibes, but I don't feel nauseous.  

I am grateful Adam was there with me yesterday.  We did a crossword puzzle and he brought me a bagel and helped unplug the machine I'm attached to when I had to use the bathroom.  Things like that.

Last night, he had a dentist appointment (our dentist works late some evenings) and then a church meeting.  We were going to have spaghetti for dinner and I said I didn't feel like spaghetti.  Adam ran through a long list of things he could pick up for me and I didn't want any of them.  He finally gave up and went his way.

Mark was heading out to get a haircut and he asked me what I wanted.  He ran through another list of things and I finally settled on a cheeseburger kids meal from Iceberg.  I hadn't really eaten besides the bagel and it hit the spot.

I'm grateful for the perseverance those two have to feed me when I am being difficult.

The plan today is to rest at home.  I'm grateful for that too.  I have a little list of tasks I can do from my chair.  I feel out of sorts and fatigued, but I know from experience that all I have to do is outlast it.

I can do that.

Lorax taking a few days off

 Marianne said I deserve it because when we were growing up, she was always the spokesman and was the  one who got in trouble with our parents if she argued with them.  I stood by and let her.

I guess I am the eldest daughter at school.  The young fresh faced teachers tell me their woes and I take them to the office.  Yesterday a timid 6th grade teacher said she would go with me, because she had the same question, but she shrunk behind me and back into the main office when the time came.  Morale is kind of low among the teachers because of all the nonsense that is getting in our way.  

I know enough to know that every job has some degree of nonsense. I will keep being the Lorax and speaking for the trees, but the trees are going to be on their own for a few days.  I have my immunotherapy today, so I will be down and out.  Just tired though, so that is better than sick.

Adam flew home last night to be with me and I am grateful he is here.  I plan to work on my photo project and read my book and do some family history.  It isn't terrible.  It isn't great; I'd rather be at school, but it isn't terrible.

Wild sky, sweet kids

 I would say it is all bonding us together.

In the workroom yesterday after school, we were making copies and waiting our turn for the copiers and grousing with the 4th grade teachers.

We had another (false) fire alarm.  We didn't evacuate, because we figured it was false, and I think this is how "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" started.

Still no air moving.

It was in the 60s outside so I kept my door propped open, which is a big no no, but come at me.

There was lightning and a huge clap of thunder during afternoon recess so they all ran inside in a panic.

Then we talked about it (because the trauma!).  The same student who wondered what to do if the sidewalk was on fire the day before, wondered what to do if the school was on fire and there was lightning outside.

I suggested in that scenario, to go outside and lie down flat because lightning strikes the highest thing.  Let's just hope those two events don't happen at the same time....

After all of our airing of grievances, Alissa said what we all feel:  I just want to teach.

We'll get there eventually, hopefully.

Everything isn't gloom and doom.  My class is such a good little class.  I don't know that I've ever bonded with a group so quickly.  They are funny and bright and none of them irk me (which is kind of amazing).  What is even more amazing is that every single parent has signed up for parent teacher conferences and that has NEVER happened.  If they all actually come, I may throw a parade.

I hope the rain continues.  I hope it turns to snow.  I hope the heat works better than the AC.  There's nothing wrong with hope.