Grateful Friday

 Another Friday has rolled around.

I'm grateful for my team.  They are flexible when I need them to be.  They are funny and supportive and OK with my foibles.  They have good ideas.

We like to take walks together when we are collaborating.  Yesterday Caroline said, "I keep seeing you guys everywhere."

Alissa said, "Well, we're team of the year."

I said, "For a few more weeks."

Miriam said, "Nah, we're going for a repeat."

I love my team.

I'm grateful for a weekend where I am crossing all the fingers that I will have more time with Adam.  Time with that guy is at such a premium.

I'm grateful for the Lindon Temple dedication this Sunday.  

I am grateful I have Kim to walk with.  We chat and the walk time just flies by.  I loved loved loved my walking buddies in Washington.  It only took me over a decade, but I am grateful to have found a Utah walking buddy!

I am grateful for the growth that I am seeing in some of my students.  I am grateful for their sweetness and affection.  I am grateful it is almost the end of the year because I am so over a few of them and their behaviors!

Doing what I can

 Emma and I are going to go see The Devil Wears Prada 2 on Saturday.  I asked Adam if he wanted to go and he didn't.  I asked him if he had watched the first one and he hadn't.  What?!? 

We watched it Monday night because I insisted.

He liked it.

So maybe he'll go with us on Saturday (although he wants to do some yard work).

In other news, we are still slogging through testing.  All but two of my students are finished with the first one.  It isn't what anyone would call a blazing success, but maybe better things are ahead?

If nothing else, this makes me happy.  

The Amazon box is full of snacks I ordered for testing.  They don't know what is in the box and I'm not going to tell them it is snacks.  They are too short to peek into the box.  Before school, I pull some snacks out for the day.

Tuesday was goldfish crackers.  I told them, "I o-fish-ally believe in you!"

Testing time brings out the cheesy in all of us.  Except, yesterday it was fruit snacks and I didn't have anything cutesy to go with it.

I also have little turtles they get during the test.  At the end of all the testing, they'll get to take their turtles home.  They have named them things like Albert and Tory.  The adoration they feel for their turtles makes me happy.

I am trying to keep the main thing the main thing and remember they are little kids.

When other sources cease to make me whole

 Last night I learned of the passing of one of my dearest friend's husband.  It was completely unexpected.  My heart hurts for her and their children and everyone.

It really puts low reading score angst into perspective....

Life is precious.  People are precious.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the most precious and priceless thing I know of.

Rainy days that are Mondays

 We started testing yesterday.  I banished one student to the special ed room (the plan in case it was necessary) because he couldn't.  Sit.  Still.  Several of the logins didn't work.  We had to try and try again.  One girl had a full on panic attack and an aide took her to the office and Camie talked her down.

We only did one hour.  I told them that the test was long enough that I didn't want them to finish today.  They shouldn't finish today.  If they finished they were not taking enough time.

Two students finished and got low low scores.

From there, the day only kept on its trajectory.  Since it was Monday, we had no specialties. It rained all day long.  A girl had a bloody nose.  We had inside recess all day long.  They were so amped up by the afternoon that we abandoned all the ships and I taught them how to do the Mexican Hat Dance.  They love it and they kept running and crashing into each other for no reason except they hadn't had recess all day.

The last part of the day, third grade had Read with a Cop.  They usually bring a book, but yesterday they did not.  I found a book and we assembled in the cafeteria.  The kids were antsy and giggly and generally out of control.  I told the policeman that I apologized in advance.  He did great and taught them a game and read the book and then fielded questions and got a little too specific about the statute for kidnapping charges.

Moving on please.

After he was done, we stayed in the gym and played red light green light for five minutes.  Anything to not have to go back to our classrooms.

They cleaned up and I shooed the last of them out the door and it was the first time I had my classroom silent all day.  I tidied up and straightened the desks and turned off the lights and sat quietly at my desk in the rain soaked light coming through the window and mapped out today.

I also checked the weather.

We aren't supposed to have rain.

Weekend

 I doubt it's a coincidence that weeks seem longer and harder when Adam is gone.

He was in Nashville and then New York City.  I wasn't.

The school week was rough.  The home week was a little rough.  I made it though.

Friday I stayed after school for the Bonneville Carnival put on by the PTA.  They needed volunteers and I volunteered to help in the fish pond.  Then, they sent out a desperate plea for face painters.  They said you didn't need to have experience.

So I signed up.

I went to my station and I doubt I can adequately describe the woman who was tasked to train me, but I will try.  She bustled up with a case of face painting wares.  The PTA moms called her Miss-something-I-don't-remember, so I assume she's a teacher, maybe at Timpanogos High School?  She spoke at an abrupt rapid clip.  She told me that some high schoolers were supposed to be the face painters, but there was an AP test and prom.  She said, "So you don't have the smart kids or the prom kids."

She tsked at the quality of face paints the PTA had provided and said, "I'll give you some of mine."

She described in very great detail the consistency we were going for with the paint.  She showed me, holding her brush up to my face.  She said, "See, it's the consistency of clam chowder."

She said that she could paint a hundred faces an hour.  She said I probably wouldn't be able to do that many, but that I should stick to stencils, because they were easier.  

I went to my station, humbled by her lack of confidence in me and the apparent nuance to face paint consistency.

Despite that, it went pretty well.  They were elementary students and those are my people.  At one point a mom came up and asked me if the face painting cost money and I almost laughed out loud.  I promise no one would pay me to daub face paint through a stencil, even if I somehow achieved that perfect clam chowder consistency.

After my shift, I went home and Mark and I went to dinner at La Costa.  We needed to drown away the sorrows of the week with good Mexican food and Diet Coke with lime (for me, Mark is a Coke Zero guy).

Saturday morning I was delighted to get a phone call from Erin.  We talked for nearly an hour and a half.  I'm sure we could have talked twice that long.  Odessa, Texas is too far away.  Also, old friends who have known you for almost 35 years are pretty priceless.

Adam called to check in for a minute.  Then, he said, "I have to go.  They want to dress me in my gown."

I said, "Is this how I find out you're a cross dresser?"

He said, "My robe.  Whatever.  You know what I mean."

It was a graduation and he was part of the stage party and I wish I'd been there to see it.  Those graduations are happy.

Mark and I had lunch at Chubby's, which always makes me feel like I'm giving up to eat at a place that doesn't even try to hide the fact that you are getting chubby by eating there.  Then, we went to Project Hail Mary.  Mark hadn't been to a movie for a long time and the last two movies I went to were the first and second Wicked movies for school Christmas parties.  I had taken a substantial nap through both of them.

We both like movies and it was nice to be in a theater.  We whispered about which trailers seemed interesting and then settled in.  Science fiction isn't really my genre, but I liked it.  I was a little confused by the ending, but so was Mark.  He told me what he thought had happened and I think he was right, but I need things a little more spelled out, I guess.

In the evening, I went to Provo to watch Emma perform.  Her friend Brigitte was doing a set at Java Junkie on Center Street.  She got Emma to sing three of the songs with her.  

Earlier when I was figuring out where to park, I wished Adam were there.  When Brigitte asked me to record their songs, I missed that guy even more.  

Sure enough I didn't record the first two songs correctly, but then I did OK.  Here's a clip, if it works....

Listening to Emma sing is a great joy in my life.  That is all.

After the set, Emma and I walked down the street and had dinner at Guru's.  It was wonderful just sitting across from her and chatting about all the things.  I feel very fortunate for the proximity I have to her and Mark.  (And I am grateful I can talk to Braeden on the phone.)

One thing we talked about were the gaps in reality Project Hail Mary expected you to accept because she had seen it weeks ago.  Emma said, "It's just a movie!  It doesn't have to all make sense."  I know.  Science fiction isn't really my thing.

Adam flew in late Saturday night and Mark went to pick him up.  I am happy to have him back!

Church was good and then we had a nice Sunday afternoon with our kids.  Meatloaf and Skip-bo, plus we got to talk to Braeden's family and lay our eyes on our (above average) grandchildren.  

Today we start state testing.  I have donuts for them and donut coloring pages that says, "Donut be stressed.  Just do your best."

State testing is stressful no matter how many donuts or pithy coloring pages you have though.  One way or another, at least it will be over in a few weeks.  

Lifesavers

 Yesterday was an extremely frustrating day.  I felt like quitting.  For real.  I felt like taking my ball and going home.  My students had all sorts of various and bizarre behaviors (including but not limited to the student who pulled their pants down and went to the bathroom on the grass during recess)!

The aide who told me about it said, "You could teach for 50 years and never be prepared for what is going to happen!"

She is not wrong.

I also had frustrations with adults.  It was a pretty rotten day.  The more amped up we get about end of year state testing, the more my students' behavior disintegrates.  Ugh.

When I got to the car to drive home, I did the wisest thing I could think of and I called Braeden.

I talked to him while I drove home and told him all the things.  He said all the right things (why I called him).

When I got home, I FaceTimed with him so I could lay my eyes on the Young Prince.  That was the dopamine hit that I needed to right the ship.  (QE was busy, but that is the advantage of two grandchildren.)

After I got off the phone with Braeden, I called Mark upstairs.  I said, "I had a bad day."

He said, "And I'm the lucky one who is around to hear about it?"

I said yes.

I told him all about it.  He also said the right things + he hugged me.

Adam was on a plane, but I know enough to know that when the chips are down, my boys will come through.

This morning while I was getting ready for work, I listened to a conference talk.  It was "Ministering-That Ye Love One Another; as I Have Loved You," by Kristin Yee.

It wasn't meant for third grade teachers who want to burn it all down because they are so frustrated.  It's also not not for third grade teachers who want to burn it all down because they are so frustrated.  God is in the details of our lives.  I know that.  These words helped me.

We may not be able to fix difficult or heartbreaking circumstances as we hope; some changes are not ours to make.

Some changes are not ours to make.  I need to tattoo that on my heart.

When we pause and choose to care for someone over something, His Spirit and love can enter in and we can receive the peace and perspective that we really need.

I am so grateful for little messages of truth that lift me and remind me and keep me going. 

It was only Tuesday

 When my team convened in my room after school, we all had the same thought, "I can't believe it is only Tuesday!"

Yesterday was a long week....

We walked to Orem Junior High for their musical.  It's about a 25 minute walk.  Twenty-five minutes of keeping everyone walking and on the sidewalk (not the street) and out of peoples' yards and no, you can't throw pinecones.

A police officer helped us cross 800 North on the way to the junior high, but I don't know where he was on the way back.  It was high anxiety.

The play itself was well done.  I loved seeing former Bonneville students and I loved seeing one of my students waving enthusiastically at her older sister.  She was so proud.  I had a little hotbed of trouble and I made two students come and sit by me and every other student in the row move down.  I said no to anyone who needed to use the bathroom unless they asked me multiple times.  If they wanted to go get a drink, it was an automatic no.

One of my students said, while we were trooping down the street, "What if someone thought we were all Teacher's children?"

They were delighted by that idea, but when we are on a field trip like that, it does feel like they are all my children.  It's a lot.

We got back to the school and I felt like a nap, but we had a quick lunch because we returned late and then writing.  One of my students had a full on temper tantrum about writing.  She was very offended that I wasn't helping her enough.  Writing time is every man for himself and they are asking me to spell words and asking me a million questions and clamoring around my desk and I am just trying to survive it.

Almost everyone else finished what they needed for the day and she had her head down on my desk and was crying.  I told her that I was sorry I wasn't able to help her more, but I could help her now.

Well, she was over it.  She said, "Oh, now you want to help me.  Too late!"

I told her she could stay in from recess then.

She was still hopping mad during recess.  I tried to reason with her, but we were past that.  She went to recess and we picked up writing again after recess.  She acted like nothing had even happened and she helped translate for a Spanish speaker and was as pleasant as she could be.

After school Miriam and Alissa and I commiserated about everything. We made sure we were on the same page for testing and we divided the classes for next year.  We put our students into three different 4th grade classes, trying to balance boys/girls, behavior, academics, special ed., English learning.  It's an undertaking.  There's a spot for notes.  My team asked me what I was going to write about my hardest student.  We batted around a few ideas:  good luck, hope you have Advil, they are a puzzle.  In the end I left it blank.  I know whoever the teacher is will come and ask me.