My people

It is Teacher Appreciation Week, which means we have treats in the faculty room and occasionally something from students.  One of my students made this for me.  His mom emailed it because their printer wasn't working.  He has autism so he doesn't always chat with me or express a lot, but this card he made me speaks volumes.  I've read them three Ramona books so far and they love them and I love them and I felt seen with this card he made.

We finished Ramona the Brave yesterday and they voted for the next read.  One of the options was the next Ramona book and another one was the next Humphrey book (among others).  Humphrey won by one  vote and the students who voted for Ramona were bugged.

I said their whole lives there would be elections and the person they voted for may not win, so they needed to learn to handle it gracefully.

One of them said, "We can say, 'aw shucks, maybe next time.'"  They nodded in agreement.

Imagine if third graders could help certain unnamed people with that attitude....

Especially after a long weekend, my students have a lot to share.  Yesterday morning I called them to the kiva.  They were bleary eyed with the new time change.  I told them the announcements and we said the pledge.  One of them raised her hand and said, "My grandpa is dying."

I said I was so sorry to hear that.

Another one raised her hand, "I had a smoothie yesterday."

(Which feels like the next thing to say when someone has shared some sad news?)

I said, "That sounds...good."

Suddenly they all wanted to share.

"I had a head-ache yesterday.  A heavy head-ache."

"Someone in my family is dying and they have kids."

"I went to St. George."

"My brother broke his arm."

On and on they went, telling me their things.  They are my people and I am theirs.  I am glad I get to read to them and I'm glad I get to tell them to get over it when they lose an election.  I'm glad I get to see them rise to big and small occasions.  I'm glad I get to be the one to hear their stories.

A good day

 Olivia and I had a conversation the other day about how, for us, a good day was one where we were productive.  We aren't opposed to relaxing or recreating, but the best sort of day is one where we are productive. 

(I think you can't be Coralee Dahl's daughter and be otherwise.)

We're a lot of fun....

Anyway, yesterday was a good day!

I had a robust to do list and I did everything on it!

I had lunch with Alissa and Maren at Marley's (neither of them had ever been there).

I had a good blend of productive meetings and productive head-down-getting-stuff done (sub plans!).

The weather was gorgeous and Kim and I took a walk after school.

I told Mark that I would come home way more relaxed if I always had teacher work days.  I guess I just don't know to what end I would be doing the work....

(And I like it more when the kids are there anyway.)

Weekend

 We knew our fridge was on the struggle bus and Adam had ordered a new one (to be delivered this week), but on Friday morning, when I pulled out my lunch to take to school, it felt decidedly not cold.  I tested the temperature inside the fridge and it was a balmy 60 degrees!

I went to school knowing that I had a project ahead of me.

In another chapter of I never know what will happen at school, we read a story about Garrett Morgan, who invented gas masks and improved traffic lights.  They wondered, like they always do when we read a biography, if he was still alive.  He was born in 1877, so I had them help me do the math to figure it out.

Since he would be 149, I told them that he wouldn't be alive still.

Hands shot up.  The kids who are studying the Old Testament for Come Follow Me this year had to report that people used to live older.  They rattled off the ages of Adam et al.  

OK, OK, but most people don't live that long....

After school, Mark and I pulled everything out of the fridge.  We put condiments in coolers and threw everything else away.  Two garbage bags full of eggs and cheese and meat and dairy products and good leftovers and gross leftovers that no one was going to eat anyway.

It was sad. And for the 1200th time this week alone, I felt very grateful for Mark.

We went to JCWs for dinner.  He convinced me to go there so I could get a peanut butter milkshake to soothe my sore throat.

I had a sore throat which is kind of what-else-is-new, but also annoying.

It didn't take too much convincing because I know those are Mark's favorite GF burgers and I owed him one (or 1200) and also he wasn't wrong about the peanut butter milkshake thing.

We came home and I was tired so I went to bed early.  My throat kept getting more and more sore.  During the night it turned out to be the worst sore throat of my life.  It was only on one side, but swallowing was excruciating.  I texted Adam and he was still awake.  He called me and I couldn't really talk to him, but he told me to gargle with salt water and take medicine and he made me feel better by being Adam.

I did everything he said and was able to sleep.  

Saturday I woke up with a less sore throat, but with feeling generally sick.  Achy and tired and miserable.  Cue pity party of one because I had saved up a bunch of stuff to do Saturday.  And also on the list was figuring out food for the following week that didn't need a refrigerator.  Mark and I were going to go to Costco and Trader Joe's and figure out a freezer heavy meal plan.

I felt very discouraged.

Mark bucked me up like he does.  He kissed my forehead and said to give him a shopping list and that I should rest.  I said he couldn't go to Costco.  He said, "Then I'll go to Walmart.  I can get what we need."

He is just helpful and solid and loving and I don't know what I'd do without that kid.  

I talked to my mom on Saturday.  She is on hospice and there is nothing easy about her life right now.  Despite that, she usually just wants to know how I am.  I cried and told her all my self-pitying circumstances and she was sympathetic.

I also told her that her example means the world to me.  Every time I talk to her, besides her telling me how good my dad is to her, she tells me that every night she prays for the Savior to be with her.  "And He is."

I don't know why she has to suffer and I don't know why any of us have to suffer, but I know and I have always known that my mom is one of the strongest people I know.  Her life has always been one of service and faithfulness and she is no different now, even though she can't do the things she used to do.

Since both my sons and Adam thought I should (and who am I to disagree with the men in my life?), I went to urgent care Saturday night.  It didn't feel exactly like strep throat, but it felt miserable and if it was something that I could get an antibiotic for and feel better, sign me up.  

I was tested for strep, Covid and influenza and they were all negative.  Sigh.  Not that I wanted any of those, I just wasted a trip when I would rather be tucked under a blanket.

Sunday I stayed home and watched church remotely and had a little less angst about it all.  I know that wishing things were different is never going to help.  I need to find ways to thrive in the hand I've been dealt.  As Marie Louise would say with her British/Australian accent, I need to "get on with it."

Emma came over for dinner and we had frozen pizza which is the best idea I could come up with in our refrigerator-less state.  We played Qwixx and talked and I always enjoy my time with Emma and Mark.  

Adam went to church in Birmingham, Alabama and I think he enjoyed it.  I enjoy living vicariously through him.  He narrated the countryside he was seeing while he drove.  He talked about someday going on a road trip like that with me.

Some day.

Grateful Friday

 I am grateful my grades are more or less in hand.  I have a few last minute assessments happening today and then I can post those grades.  Third quarter, in the books!

I am grateful for the pretty pictures Adam sends of where he is in the world.  I can live vicariously through him.

I am grateful when things work.  There are plenty of times when I try something at school and it doesn't work, so I'm grateful for when they do work.

My students were getting a bit lax on their iReady lessons--the third grade didn't reach their goal of lessons passed for February.  I decided to make it a competition and whoever gets the most lesson this week will get a prize.  A boy who didn't do a single iReady lesson the entire months of November and December is leading the pack with 16 lessons, just this week!

Another random thing that is working is to set a timer on an app on my phone and set it in front of one of my students.  He works for seven minutes and then gets a two minute break.  It's like magic and why didn't I do that in September?!?

I am grateful I don't have to go roller skating.  Last night was Bonneville Night at Classic Skating.  At recess some of Alissa's girls wondered if I was going to go.  I said no.  They were shocked, "But why not?!?"

I said, "I don't really know how to roller skate."

More shock, and also a lot of advice, "You can just hold onto the side, that's what I do."

Also, they tried to entice me, "They also have laser tag!"

I didn't tell them, but Classic Skating was the last thing I wanted to do.  Three cheers for being an adult and just saying no.

The final thing I'm grateful about is having Mark around.  He is helpful and good company.  I especially notice how much I rely on him for everything when Adam is out of town.  What a gift to have him living with us right now!

Reminders

 Sometimes I wonder if I want to keep teaching.  Even without all the cancer stuff, this year has been hard.  (Actually I don't know.  I can't separate the two.)

I have some hard students and when I don't feel well, I get a sense of defeat about the whole thing.

I want to say, OK.  I give up.  I'm going home.

Yesterday I had a few reminders of why I don't want to quit.  During math, we were doing Word Problem Wednesday, which is what we do the second half of the year.  Every Wednesday I tell that the reason we do Word Problem Wednesday is that in their lives as grownups, they will never have to do math worksheets and they won't have a math workbook.  They will have situations that are basically word problems.

As we worked our way through the problems, I realized, "They are getting these!"

And their exit tickets showed me it's true.  (There were a few exceptions--there always are.)

I live for moments like that!  Moments where they get it!

During our reading lesson, there was more of the same.  We were working on context clues and I loved seeing their brains figure out the meanings of words and idioms.  

What a gift to be able to be at the front lines of children making connections and learning new things!

At the end of the day, when they bursting out the door after the bell rang, one of the girls called over her shoulder, "Bye Mrs. Davis!  I love you!"

I love you too.

It isn't meant to be easy

I had a rough night's sleep last night, which is the last thing I need when I am fighting fatigue so hard.  Adam is leaving today for a week long trip and that's never fun.  He'll be back just in time for my chemo.  Between now and chemo, I have grades that are due and I need to plan for four sub days.

And then there's the whole cancer thing that messes with my mind.  Good news!  Last chemo round!  But then what?  Did it work?!?  What is next?  How long will my remission be?

All unproductive things to wonder about at 1:00 AM, but there you have it.

This morning I read this by President Nelson:

 "...life isn't meant to be easy....Victory comes only to those who muster the faith to stay on the track--the strait and narrow way."

It is validating.  This isn't meant to be easy.  I'm not living life wrong if it isn't easy.

Also, what does victory for me look like?  I don't think victory means a perfect life, free of troubles.  If it comes only to those who muster the faith to stay on the track, I guess staying on the track--the strait and narrow way, will lead me there.  I'll figure it out eventually.

I can do hard things.  I have survived lots of hard days.  My own prayers and the prayers of others on my behalf have sustained me thus far and I don't foresee them drying up and ceasing to work.

So onward.

Weekend

 We had a wonderful time!  I am glad we were able to go to California to spend time with family and be there for the blessing of our little YP.  

Top ten things from the weekend:

1- walking hand in hand at the farmers market with QE

2- buying QE some really good strawberries at the farmers market when she wanted a snack (California is constantly showing off).

3- witnessing the great parents Braeden and Anna are--I love the way they pull together

4- being in mild and verdant and fragrant California 

5- holding YP--he is so snuggly!

6- Adam and Mark took excellent care of me at every turn

7- reading to QE

8- sharing the love with Anna's parents.  I like them so much and we all like our shared family so much.  It's a lot of love and I'm here for it.

9- the way QE kept lifting my arm to listen to my watch tick during church

10- family time--it was great to be with Geri and have lots of time with Adam and Mark and Braeden and Anna and those adorable grandchildren!