Joy

Occasionally the world feels heavy.  It just does.  And usually, ironically, it's because I love people.

It seems like love shouldn't end up in sorrow but it does sometimes.  People make choices that break your heart.  People are thoughtless or selfish.  They're wrapped up in their own choices.  They mistakenly think they are beyond help.  They mistakenly think they aren't hurting anyone.

I had a dream early Sunday morning about someone I love who I haven't talked to in a long time.  We were sort of mad at each other in the dream and I was sad about the choices he's made that have wrecked his life.

Finally in the dream I said, "I really care about you."

His face softened and then I woke up.

I told Adam the dream.  I said, "I wanted to go back to sleep and see what would happen."

Yesterday Heather taught our YW lesson.  She hit it out of the ballpark.  When the next generation are in charge of the world and that includes people like Heather, let me tell you, the world will be in good hands.

She taught us about the Atonement of Jesus Christ which is the only source of peace in a fraught world.  She read us this from a talk by Elder Nelson:

Joy is powerful, and focusing on joy brings God’s power into our lives. As in all things, Jesus Christ is our ultimate exemplar, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.” Think of that! In order for Him to endure the most excruciating experience ever endured on earth, our Savior focused on joy!

And what was the joy that was set before Him? Surely it included the joy of cleansing, healing, and strengthening us; the joy of paying for the sins of all who would repent; the joy of making it possible for you and me to return home—clean and worthy—to live with our Heavenly Parents and families.

If we focus on the joy that will come to us, or to those we love, what can we endure that presently seems overwhelming, painful, scary, unfair, or simply impossible?

I don't always know how to do that.  I don't always know how to focus on joy when I'm faced with the "overwhelming, painful, scary, unfair, or simply impossible."  I really don't.

Last night, which didn't really help my mood when I already felt weighed down, we watched part of a documentary on D-day.  Emma and I are heading to the Normandy beaches and I wanted a refresher.  It was horrible.  So discouraging to watch wave after wave of American soldiers being mowed down on Omaha Beach.

I remembered the lesson, but where was the joy?

Then I realized, the joy, at least part of it, was the innocent people who were eventually freed from concentration camps.  The joy was freedom wrenched back out of the Nazi's hands and restored to people who had lost it.

I'll keep trying to find the joy.  Spring follows winter.