Not my email

At our family reunion I was talking to some of my cousins about the emails that I get that aren't intended for me (like you do).  Micah and Cedric said I should change my email address to thelmabutnotthatone.

"But then I'd miss out on all the emails," I said.

I have received A LOT of email from the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee). According to one of the emails, they are "beyond livid."  While I can empathize, I do after all have the squirrels, I have yet to do what they've requested and that is to send in $1.

And it's true.  They all emailed me.  Multiple times.

Zendental in California continues to email me and I'd like to refer the DCCC to them.  At least to the zen part.  I think they could use it.  The tone of some of the emails have a definite hysteria to them.

Well, Barney.  Paranoid much?  If the Republican majority in the U.S. House of Representatives is watching me, do they have any squirrel suggestions?

Here's another one that made me feel like I should be helpful but I wasn't.

I didn't ever email Fiona.  I did receive it.  Sorry Fiona.

Finally, here are two sort of bizarre emails:  

Russ, I appreciate your upbeat attitude (will you email the DCCC and encourage them to be more optimistic?) but I think if you have a "nice new apple keyboard", probably all the keys should work.  I spilled Diet Coke on a keyboard once, incapacitating the Z key.  So I'm here to tell you that if all the keys don't work, even the Z, it makes life harder.

This is maybe the best email I've ever received:

It's kind of like saying, "Please knock on my door.  I won't answer it, I'm not home."