Writing About Nothing: Castles and Christian IV

Before I dive in, this: on Sunday, my friend Kim (who is the primary president) broke her key off in the primary closet. She felt terrible. She is one of those conscientious people who couldn't imagine inconveniencing anyone. For this reason, I felt compelled to tease her a bit about how she didn't know her own strength.

A few people stopped by to try to help. One little primary boy tried with his tiny fingers to pull it out. It was stuck.

Yesterday, before he went to work, Adam said, "If Mark wants a project, tell him to go try to get that broken key out."

Mark's our fix-it guy.

Mark needed to go pick up a prescription (he is also our prescription guy) so I rode with him and we stopped at the church, Adam's keys in hand. Mark took his tool box. He looked at the lock and saw what I had not seen, the first step was to use two screwdrivers to make it horizontal like the other locks on the closets in the hall so the key had a chance to get out.

He tried to coax it out with a tiny flathead screwdriver and then grab it with needle nose pliers, but it kept slipping.

I decided to google it, because you can google anything. Sure enough. There was a tutorial video about getting the spring from a pen, straightening it, making a hook on the end, sticking the wire into a groove of the key and popping it out.

We just needed a pen.

I looked in the nearby primary room and the Relief Society room. No luck. Then I remembered I had the master key. I opened the library (I have never felt so powerful in my life), but there were no pens in there either!

Why does everyone have to be so tidy?

I felt like Ralph S. Mouse in The Mouse and the Motorcycle when he needed to find an aspirin for Kevin. There had to be a pen in that church!

I looked in Adam's office and there was nothing. Finally, I found one in the clerk's office. Mark disassembled the pen and fashioned a little hook.

But the trick didn't work because the wire was too thick for the tiny key. (And I'll send a new pen with Adam to replace the one we disassembled.)

We were ready to give up, but I said, "I'm going to give it one more try." I almost got it.

By then, Mark was lying on the floor (it was hot and stuffy inside the empty church and I think he was melting). He looked up and noticed that the bottom of the key was wider than the top. He put the pliers flush with the lock, facing down, coaxed it out a fraction with the screwdriver and popped it right out.

It felt like a big achievement on a hot summer afternoon.

Should I be blogging about small things like that when I have a whole trip to report on? I am, after all, all about writing about nothing....

On with the show:

Thursday, June 19-Friday, June 20

From our home base in Hillerød we went to Frederiksborg Castle (on Thursday) and Kronborg Castle (on Friday). They were just stunning. Over and over we read about Christian IV building this or that. It was a pattern everywhere we went in Denmark. He was quite a guy. He reigned for 60 years and had over 20 children--mostly illegitimate.

But didn't you see the sign?

I can't stress enough how amazing Adam was at figuring stuff out intuitively and also doing his homework. He had apps downloaded and so many things figured out.

There were a few chinks in the armor. One of them was parking at our hotel in Hillerød. Adam knew that he needed to move it in the morning, but thought it was OK where it was for the night.

It wasn't.

He got a hefty parking ticket. He talked it over with the person at the reception desk to make sure he was now fully grasping the parking. She asked, "Didn't you see the sign?"

He assured her that he had indeed seen the sign, but seeing it and being able to read it were two different matters.

The food was so good

This was some version of my hotel breakfast almost every day we were in Scandinavia.

They didn't call the pastries danishes, which I think was a missed opportunity. They should claim their glory!

Also, we discovered a store in Denmark, Coop 365Discount. The same grocery store was in Sweden, but just called Coop there. It was our Maverik. We stopped there seven times all told (brand loyalty!). We would get the most amazing bread and really good cheese and ham and fresh fruit and vegetables. I could eat like that every day.

Frederiksborg Castle

Our hotel was just down the street from the castle. It didn't disappoint.

The gospel art kit

In the king's oratory in the back of the chapel at Frederiksborg Castle, I was stunned to see very familiar paintings. They were neither behind glass nor velvet ropes, just there on the walls. At one point Frederiksborg Castle had burned and our buddy Christian IV had it rebuilt. Carl Bloch repainted these pictures after the originals that were destroyed. People would walk by and just give them a cursory glance and Adam and I were just floored and stayed a while.

We even got a shout out!

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world

We were eating our lunch of bread and cheese on the bridge outside Frederiksborg Castle and heard someone say, "Adam and Thelma?!?!"

It was our dear friends Howie and Heidi Barker from Washington!

Howie had been our bishop and Emma's doctor when she broke her arm. (He was the one who made a frail looking elderly woman get up off a bed so I could lie down when Emma's cast was being cut off and her arm was bent weird and I almost fainted. You really want me in a crisis!)

Heidi and I were in the same book club and writing group. Their son Max was Braeden's good friend and their daughter Gretchen was Emma's. It was marvelous to see them.

They were doing a tandem bike tour through ten countries bordering the Baltic (like you do?).

I'm still so amazed (and grateful) we got to see them.

No one can show displeasure like a Dane

There were room after room of royal portraits in Frederiksborg Castle. What is amazing to me is that these portraits were presumably approved. The portrait maker said, "Here you go."

And the recipient said, "Yes, thank you. That looks just like me."

I told Adam to give me a look of displeasure to fill out my collage of unhappy Danes.

I thought this lady looked like Adam's Grandma Kate:

Maybe it wouldn't be so terrible to be royal

I've watched enough period dramas to know that it wasn't always peaches and cream to be royal. They had a rough time (just ask one of Henry VIII's wives)! We walked the extensive grounds and gardens at Frederiksborg Castle and I considered maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

Deep delight

We took a tiny boat ferry across to the other side of a little lake. There were two charming older men running the ferry. We were grateful that like almost everyone, they spoke English. The cadence of their Danish accents coupled with their jovial spirits and the sunshine-y beautiful day was delightful. There was a breeze and the sun sparkled on the water. We loved it!

Adam was paying for our passage with his phone--everywhere, even a tiny little boat on a small lake--took Apple Pay! It wasn't working so the other boat operator took over. He waggled his fingers and said, "Magic Fingers." Then he victoriously said, "Success!"

The Danes got it out of their system

They were into ornamental decorations and now they...aren't. On the left are pictures from Frederiksborg Castle and on the right are pictures from our hotel room.

Gilleleje

At the recommendation of the desk clerk at the hotel, we drove to Gilleleje on Thursday evening. It was a little town on the coast. I immediately started looking for pretty rocks and Adam immediately started wishing he could get in the water. I was wearing a jacket and it was in no way warm enough to get in the North Sea. Adam didn't have his swimsuit, or I think he would have been sorely tempted. There was another man who walked out on the dock in a swimsuit and dipped one time into the water and then left. It was impressive.

I found some pretty rocks (and as a bonus, smooth sea glass).

We had a seafood dinner and split an ice cream cone. Some days are just perfect.

Kronborg Castle

Kronborg Castle is up the road in Helsingør.

The churches inside the castles were my favorite parts

No thank you

Frederiksborg Castle was set up kind of like a national history/art museum and Kronborg Castle was set up for how it would have been in the time of Frederik II (One of Christian IV's children). In the king's bedchamber, this was the rug next to the bed.

I don't think I'd get out of bed!

At Kronborg Castle, there were casements. I started to go with Adam and quickly realized it was a dungeon sort of cave under the castle. Nope. No. Uh-uh. No. No. No. I made a beeline out of there and happily sat out in the sunshine in the courtyard and Adam showed me pictures later.

This is Holger the Dane who sits under Kronborg Castle and will wake up and be ready to fight if Denmark is ever in real trouble. (I asked Adam why he didn't wake up during the five years Germany occupied Denmark during World War II. He said maybe Holger knew they would be OK in the end.)

Kronborg Castle is Hamlet's castle so there were actors doing little Hamlet scenes. When Adam was down in the creepy casements, an actor playing Hamlet suddenly appeared holding a skull and muttering to himself.

Farewell Denmark

On family search, Karoline Lang (Adam's great grandma) wrote in her life story that after they joined the church and moved to Utah to join the Saints, the last view of Denmark she had was of Kronborg Castle, all lit up. We learned on our visit there that it had been occupied by the army at the time.

This picture of Karoline and her children was in an American history book (that Adam found and purchased a few months ago) where they were used as an example of unskilled (and unwanted) immigrants. Rude.

I still love the picture.