Yesterday

 I spent some time on school stuff.  I was making some google slides and I called Adam in to tell me what I was doing wrong.  Story of my life.  He fixed me up though.

I thought, I feel pretty good.  Maybe I don't need to take Tuesday after chemo off after all.

I went to the basement to put a few things in the washing machine and walking back up two flights of stairs almost did me in.  I was completely winded and tired for like two hours after that. (Last week I wouldn't have noticed the climb.)

Maybe I do need to take Tuesday after chemo off after all.

Adam drove me to my appointment to get IV fluids.  He said, "I'm sorry I'm so distracted with work stuff."

I said, "I don't know how well you do your job.  I don't know how well you are doing as a bishop, not really.  I do know how well you're doing as a husband, so stop apologizing."

The man has nothing to apologize for.  He is stretched thinner than he has ever been and from where I sit, he is doing great.

Emma and Mark cajoled and begged their brother for baby pictures.  He obliged and that little one has our hearts.  Braeden also said when YP cries, QE says, "Don't worry, baby.  I'm here."

Adam had a meeting, so Mark and I met up for lunch at JCWs after my IV.  Once the nausea wears off, beef is really what my body wants.  We talked about the scriptures and his video game and the book I'm reading and his classes and some work stuff for me.  Just a basic lunch on a Tuesday with your young adult son.  

The other night, Adam and I were talking about how surreal it still feels that I have cancer.  It feels like someone else's life, but here we are.  

At the same time, it isn't a terrible life.  We are pulling together and doing the things.

In and out

 I have most certainly been in the past several days.  In the house, in my chair, in my slippers--I seriously love my slippers.  They are wool Allbirds and I could do a commercial.

I digress.

Adam is a believer in getting out.  When someone isn't feeling well around here, I suggest they drink more water.  Adam suggests they get out.

We went on a drive yesterday  We went through the car wash and the smell made me a little nauseous.  Adam offered to crack the window.

Ha ha.

He went to Walmart and I sat in the car in the sunshine and called my parents.  It was kind of nice to get out.

Then I was in.  I read, I worked on Family History (I'm completely stuck and the family I am working on has the surname Stuck so maybe I should move to a different family) and I did a little cross-stitch.  I wish I could more evenly distribute my busy days and my sitting around feeling sick days.  It is hard to feel too sick to want to do anything very productive for days on end.

In the late afternoon, I was snoozing in my chair and Adam said, "When you're a little more awake, let's go out."

We recruited Mark to go with us and we went for a drive in Vineyard, just looking at neighborhoods and listening to the music Mark played.  Going for a drive to look at neighborhoods is a foreign thing to me, but it's natural to Adam.  His curiosity has no bounds.

I was telling Mark that when he gets married, I'll have Miriam and Nate cater his wedding with their amazing BBQ and then Mark started talking about the wedding venue his friends had their wedding at so then Adam said, "Let's go there for ice cream."

There was no way they had ice cream there and I told Adam that.

He said, "Hey, I know stuff.  There is ice cream there."

He does know stuff.  They have an ice cream shop there, but it was closed for the season.  So we went back home, but I think that getting out did help me.  I was feeling less sick.  After dinner we played Monopoly Deal, then Adam and I watched Maigret, which is a new Masterpiece Mystery we are enjoying.

I am glad to still be home today.  The stairs still exhaust me.  Walking up the stairs is kind of my test to see how my energy is faring.  I am going to go in to the doctor to get some IV today.  I will be getting out.

Exactly what Adam would recommend.

Weekend

 Hello from chemo town.

Emma went with me on Thursday.  We mapped out plans for a trip in June.  We played Skip Bo.  We did some NYTimes crossword puzzles.  (I told her that her dad was always responsible for the clues about sports so that was her responsibility...she didn't do very well with that, but she knew a lot of other stuff.)

Felicia, in our ward, brought over a very simple and soothing dinner of Costco rotisserie chicken, roasted potatoes, green beans and fruit.  People really know what they're doing.  It was all just perfect.  I really appreciate the kind people who bring me dinner on chemo day.

Adam got home that night--I was already asleep, but I woke up and we talked and he rubbed my back.

Friday we went back for more chemo.  Adam went to Maverik for the requisite drinks to combat the intense Benadryl.  After he returned, I was trying to get him up to speed on the travel plans and Emma would interrupt and correct me and I would say, "That is what I said," when it really wasn't.

I was super discombobulated and kept repeating what she said in an effort to be correct. She said,"Chemo makes you gaslight me."

By then I had no idea what any of the dates were and I said, "I have a lot of Benadryl in me!"

The nurse was there switching something out and laughing about our conversation.  She probably hears versions of it a lot.

Friday is always a shorter day.  We packed up and went to Kneaders and I had soup and bread.  It hit right.  I am learning what to eat and not to eat. 

In the afternoon, I was super sleepy but couldn't sleep.  It was kind of miserable because I was too tired for even reading.  It's like my body had powered down and I just needed to wait it out.  I finally took an hour long nap, which revived me a bit.

An exciting development that was the backdrop of our weekend, was that Anna went into labor!  I wanted more than anything to be there, but alas.

We checked updates all day long.

Emma said, "You know how there are four star generals?  I'm going to be a two star aunt."  So I guess that makes me a two star Nana.  I'll take it.

On my blog, his sister is QE, as in the Queen of Everything.  He will be the Young Prince.  YP.  We loved him before he was born.

We are taking a quick trip to visit next weekend.  I'll miss one day of school.  I miss SO much school.  I wish I could go for longer, but this will have to suffice until spring break when we will likely go again.

Anna's mom, Amy, flew there to be with them.  She was reading a book to QE when Braeden texted the news.  Amy read QE the text, QE squealed happily and then said, "Keep reading."

Girl loves books.  

She will also be a good big sister.  She is very astute and helpful and I can see her staring down any future bullies with success.  As the happy recipient of a fabulous big sister myself, I can see all the signs of greatness.

We drank up every picture and video we got from the little family, halting every conversation if a text came in.  Going there on Saturday isn't a day too soon. 

They sent a video of QE meeting YP for the first time.  She hesitantly walked into the hospital room, holding tight to Braeden's hand.  She was mostly interested in seeing Anna and showing her the picture she had drawn.  Then, Braeden sat down close by, holding YP.  QE looked over at him and simply said, "Hi." 

Siblings are one of the biggest constants in your life.  Those two will mean the world to each other.  I love that I got to see that first, "hi."  

I had kind of a drab day on Sunday.  I felt sick--nauseous and exhausted.  I decided that one thing I felt like eating was a grilled ham and cheese sandwich so Adam pivoted away from what he was going to make and made me that instead.

He's good to me!

Emma came over and we ate and played one round of Skip Bo.  Someone asked if we wanted to play again and Adam said, "Your mom looks tired."

I was. 

I slept for almost twelve hours last night.  It is just remarkable to me that I can do that!  Today I have big plans.

Watch the plants grow (it isn't as riveting as it sounds...).

I also have a good book to read.

Grateful Wednesday

 Another chemo week so this is it for the week.

I thought gratitude would be worthwhile.

Yesterday I went into the office to ask if we could order more cap erasers that go onto the end of pencils instead of the bar erasers that the supply drawer is overflowing with.

When I walked into the office, there were about 5-6 teachers and Matt and a secretary there and they were measuring the distance between their outstretched fingers.  I said, "This looks like a scintillating discussion I'm walking in on...."

Matt had Oakley hold up her two fingers, like she was making a peace sign.

I said, "Whoa."

He said, "See?!?"

She has flexible fingers!

I said, "Well can I shift this conversation from fingers to erasers?"

They said sure and then Matt had Camie order what I wanted from Amazon.

I am always grateful I work at that school with those people.

Speaking of school, I'm grateful as ever for Beverly Cleary.  I read my class in Beezus and Ramona about Ramona taking bites out of all the apples and they gasped.  Then I read about Ramona inviting her friends over for a party without telling her parents.  They were horrified.  "My mom would KILL me!"

I love reading quality books to them.

I am grateful that Emma is doing chemo with me.  Adam will still be in Nashville on Thursday and I'm grateful that my support team is layered.  If I didn't have Emma, Mark has class I don't want him to miss, but I can honestly think of at least five other people close by that I could ask to go with me.

Adam and Emma will both be there on Friday.  I don't love it, but I'm doing it and I'm grateful for that.

I'm grateful that my teammates and I are having a data day this morning.   Another day of sub plans to add to the mix was a drudgery, but I am always grateful to hang out with my team and I love that we are like minded and have the same goals and don't waste time when we meet.

(Unless one of us gets distracted and then Alissa says "squirrel!" and we get back on task.)

I am grateful Mark is around, especially when Adam is away.  It's nice to have someone to eat dinner with.

I am grateful for physical therapy, because it is helping my neck and I'm grateful that I could pull up Pride and Prejudice on my phone to read while I sat there with the heat and electrode things on my neck.  I am listening to a book and reading another book, but I just started Pride and Prejudice because why ever not?

The fact that Pride and Prejudice is just there in the world whenever you need it is something to be grateful for.

They can't and they won't

 When I was growing up, if we ever told my dad, "I can't," he would say, "You can and you will."

And if you know my dad, when he said that, we did whatever it was he wanted us to do.

Let's just say my dad was not a proponent of permissive parenting.

My students are the opposite of they can and they will.

When it rains I remind them not to step in the puddle that forms in a low spot near our door.  I tell them they will be miserable with wet feet the rest of the day.

About half of them tromp through the puddle, just for fun, and then whine about wet feet and wet pants the rest of the day.

When I have a headache and ask them to be quiet, they can't.  They won't.

We are one letter away from earning a pjs and stuffed animal day.  (Why this is a big ticket reward, I don't know, but it is.)

Yesterday I set my timer and said that if everything was cleaned up by the timer went off, they could earn their reward.

One girl sat at her desk pleasantly chatting with other people.  This was about the third day in a row that she did that and was responsible for them not earning a letter.

I said, "You don't want to be the reason they don't earn the reward!"

She said, "Oh!"  She put her computer away, but that was all.

(They didn't earn the reward.)

Also yesterday we had a "Beat the Street" assembly about safety.  Every student was gifted with a reflective arm band that I passed out at the end of the day.  They attached with velcro.  Since everything was done for the day, I read to them for the last five minutes.  The entire time, they were opening and closing the armbands.  Scratch scritch, scritch scratch.  I kept asking them to stop.  

They couldn't.  They wouldn't.

Finally I said, "I'm going to take the armbands away if you can't stop opening and closing them.  I ended up taking three of them away until they finally stopped.

(I gave them back when the bell rang.)

Maybe I need a take your dad to school day.  I need a little more you can and you will around there.

Weekend

 After a busy week, it was sort of a busy weekend.  We did have a few spots of respite in the midst of everything.

For one thing, we had a lingering lunch with Shannon and Chris on Saturday.  We sat at the table for 2 1/2 hours, just talking about everything.  As we talked, some of the uncertainty and troublesome parts of life emerged, but also the joy.  We talked about trips taken and dreamed about, we talked about gifts and birthdays and fans.

Adam is always down to talk about fans.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is slow down and talk to your friends.

We also went to the temple Saturday evening.  It was nice to sit still and not worry about the things I'm worried about.  There's no dread of chemo in the temple.  That's science.

The session we were on had an above average share of disruption.  We started late because people were late.  People forgot things or had one kerfuffle or another, but I didn't even mind.  I told Adam later, "I am a lot more patient in the temple."

I should be that patient all of the time.

It reminded me of the truth that we are all in this together.  We're going to wait for stragglers.  We're going to get it right.  We will take the time it takes.

Sunday was Braeden's birthday.  I wanted to make him a chocolate cake with mint frosting.  I miss that little cherubic face blowing out his candles.

However, Braeden is the gift that keeps on giving and he just gets better with age.  I am ever grateful to be his mother. 

After church, I was talking with Adam and noticed that my fern had dropped a lot of leaves.  What ensued was a whole if you give a mouse a cookie cause and effect situation.

I started removing some of the dead stems while we chatted, then I got the broom, then I was moving the plant stand slightly and the whole thing toppled onto the floor.  There was one of those self-watering glass bottle things in it (luckily the bottle didn't break, but it did spill.  There was dirt and water everywhere.  Adam went and got the shop vac and I took the sad plant to the kitchen.  I realized it was top heavy because it was so root-bound.  (My plants have missed me since I've left their care to Mark.). I repotted the fern and everything was a tremendous mess.  

Note to self:  leave your plants alone unless you want the consequences.

Adam went to Nashville and Emma came over.  I had a gluten free cornbread mix from Trader Joe's.  I decided to make creamed eggs and cornbread for dinner, which I hadn't made for years and years.  The gluten free white sauce was weird.  The cornbread was OK.  Gluten free is a bummer.

Emma and I talked about her coming with me for chemo and I told her kind of what to expect.  She asked, "How doomsy and sad is it?"  (She is one to make up words.)  I told her not that doomsy.  But maybe that's all the drugs they give me talking....

We played Rummikub and I lost both times.  It's less about the winning and more about being together and whatever playlist Mark is spinning for us.

Another weekend in the rearview.

This morning I checked our extended family WhatsApp to see how Marianne and Robert were faring on their way to Ghana.

It never disappoints.

Grateful Friday

 It has been a week of not great news.  Unsettling things all around.  Where are the grownups? is what I wonder from time to time.

I feel sad and horrified so many times I just stop reading the news.

Some of it hit closer to home.  A recent shooting impacted a family in our school.  Several parents were deported over the break.  Parents are left with the decision of leaving their children--who are US citizens--in the hands or friends or relatives or taking them with them to an uncertain/unsafe future that they left for a reason.

It makes me so sad.  I love these families.  We have room for them.

I'm grateful for compassionate people.  I'm grateful for people who sidestep politics and go directly to humanity and tolerance.  I'm grateful that even though there is an undercurrent of sadness at our school, there is also an undercurrent of strength.  Some of the best people I know walk those halls.  They show up every day, ready to work, ready to love and ready to teach.

I'm grateful that for so many, trying to be like Jesus isn't just a song.

I went to bed grumpy and woke up dreary.  It is cold and dark and everything feels like a lot.

We talked at our faculty meeting this week about negativity bias.  We are hard-wired for it, but gratitude helps.

I'm grateful...

...I have a husband who loves me.

...we both have jobs to support our lives.

...I have the ability to get medical treatment.

...I can talk and text people I love with a slim little box I can carry around with me--kind of amazing.

...I have a warm Bonneville Bronco hoodie to wear today and also a t-shirt underneath (you never know what the climate will be in my classroom).

...we are getting a new HVAC system at school this summer.

...for the gospel of Jesus Christ.  

I keep thinking about a conversation I had with my sweet cousin Hannah.  She said that at times she mourns deeply, but she is never able to stay there because of her faith.

Being like Hannah is something to aspire to.

The ups and the downs

 Tuesday morning my classroom was 57 degrees at the start of the day.  Around 10:00, the heat started (with an actual vengeance).  It kept climbing and climbing and usually I whine and complain, but I didn't because I was busy and it only got truly unbearable at the end of the day when I knew no one would do anything about it anyway.

I had a faculty meeting after school and when I got back to my room, this was the temperature.

I took a picture because I knew Riley wouldn't believe the 40 degree temperature swing.

Yesterday I showed him the picture.  He looked shocked.  He said, "Tell me if it starts to get too hot."

I showed the secretaries the picture.  I suddenly had street cred.  

I had a student whose parents brought a birthday treat for the class when they dropped him off in the morning.  He started crying and wouldn't come into the class because his dad was there and "Dad's don't come to school."  His mom was embarrassed and didn't know what to do.  They aren't native English speakers and I tried my best to explain that dads do come to school and it is fine.  She said, "Two parents are better, no?"

Definitely.

He was inconsolable and everyone was very curious and invested in the entire drama unfolding.  I recommended the Wellness Room to his mom and tried to get everyone else to mind their business.  She took him there and then later he came to class when math was already underway.  He hid in his hoodie and then behind his hair but then he is super smart in math so he eventually started participating because he loves to answer questions.  

When I broke up the class lesson for them to work independently, several boys went over and hugged him.

They can be maddeningly thoughtless but also breathtakingly sweet.

Moods swing like temperatures around there.  You can count on children though.

Back at it

 Post holiday life can be a little jarring.  Especially since I started physical therapy, have a doctor appointment and a hair appointment on different days after school this week.  I went from having spools of time stretching out each day to...not.

Monday was a teacher work day.  I was happy to see my friends.  Miriam was still in Barcelona because her flight home was canceled.  Alissa and I FaceTimed her, just to chat.  We printed her sub plans and created something for her because one of the things she'd planned didn't work when we clicked on the link.  (She made sub plans on her phone, which is heroic!) 

I spent the day mostly making sub plans of my own.

A basket per day.  Besides my upcoming chemo days, I have a data day with my team and a district training day on the horizon.  (I didn't make sub plans for that day yet--sometimes if you work too far ahead, you have to change everything.)

Making sub plans is tedious.  And you have to strike the balance between not too hard for the sub and not too boring for the students.

I went back to physical therapy on Monday also.  I intended to go back in the summer, just to get my neck back into good working order.  Then cancer came calling and I canceled the appointment.  I think after my surgery and with my port, I have been holding my shoulders in kind of a protective posture and it hasn't helped anything.  So back I went.  It is not my idea of a good time.  I like the therapist, but the perky aids talk to me in the patronizing way that people sometimes talk to the elderly (lots of people there are elderly).  They ask me inane questions and I'm not great at small talk.  I know it will help me though (the physical therapy, not the small talk).  I was prepared for the fact that I'd need to go back in a week.  He said he wants me back on Thursday.  (But what about going home after school?)  Sad.  I'll just have to be very good about my exercises so I don't have to keep going so often.

So I have felt this thrum of too much too much too much and not enough time to do the things that make me feel like myself.

At the same time--it's always at the same time, counterweights abound--it's been great to be back at school.  Yesterday they told me all the jokes I guess they've been saving up.  There were the classics like, "Why was six afraid of seven?" (I can't tell you how many times I've pretended that is a joke I've never heard before.)

After a classic rendition of a knock knock joke where "who" is there and I gamely say "who who" and they asked if I was an owl, some kids decided to branch out and make up their own jokes. 

Knock knock

Who's there?

Michael

Michael who?

Michael Jackson!

OK....

Then there was this one: a lengthy story about two apples, one yellow and one red, who were friends.  The culminating punchline was that the red one asked the yellow one if he was a minion.

When I didn't laugh/didn't know that was the punchline, he asked, "Don't you get it?  You know, since minions are yellow?"

I think these kids should stick to the classics.

I read them Hooway for Wodney Wat.  I told them it was one of my favorite books.  One girl said, "You always say that."

I said, "But this one really really is."

They laughed and later they wanted to act it out.  It was darling watching them squatting down and hopping around like rodents.  They loved it and I love them.

Not doubting

 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying:  We do not doubt our mothers knew it.

Alma 56:48

The legacy I treasure most from both of my parents is their faith.  I have never wondered about them.  They have shown me over and over my whole life who they are and what they believe.  Every time they encounter a trial, they have squared their shoulders and expressed their faith and lived their lives in an echo of their faith.

(Their parents were the same way.)

I hope I can hold up the line and pass it on.

Yesterday, Olivia asked my mom to send her quotes to us.  Engrained deep in my memory are the yellowed with age pieces of paper in "the drawer by the washer".  The drawer by the washer was the catchall sort of drawer every house has.  If you were looking for something random, it may be in the drawer by the washer.  If you were looking for my mom's mantras, they were also there.

My mom read and reread these quotes when she needed reminding, when she needed a boost, when times were tough.  I think the fact that my mom kept going back to reread is better than if she'd read them once and didn't need them again.

Life keeps being hard.  We can keep going to the source of comfort and peace.  My mom modeled that and I'll always be grateful.

Here's what she sent yesterday:

“I know that everything will be overruled for our good if we do right. No matter how difficult

circumstances may be to bear at the time, they are for our good, and God watches over us; His angels are round about us all the time.” 

Elder George Q. Cannon, November 27, 1864.

“Therefore, however dark the prospects may be, however gloomy, let us remember that He who sits on high knows our condition, and that He can deliver us.” 

President George Q. Cannon, August 31, 1884.

“All true Latter-Day Saints will be tested to the limit. Saints will be put to tests that will try the integrity of the best of them.” 

Heber C. Kimball

“True faith is only made manifest in heart-wrenching trials.” I don’t know who.

“The Saints should always remember that God sees not as man sees; that he does not willingly afflict his children, and that if he requires them to endure present privation and trial, it is that they may escape greater tribulations which would otherwise inevitably overtake them. If He deprives them of any present blessing, it is that he may bestow upon them greater and more glorious ones by-and-by.” 

Elder George Q. Cannon

Proverbs 3:5–6

Matthew 11:28–30

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8

And this from Elder Holland: 

“I do not know who in this vast audience today may need to hear the message of forgiveness inherent in [the parable of the laborers in the vineyard; see Matthew 20:1–15], but however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines. …

“So if you have made covenants, keep them. If you haven’t made them, make them. If you have made them and broken them, repent and repair them. It is never too late so long as the Master of the vineyard says there is time. Please listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit telling you right now, this very moment, that you should accept the atoning gift of the Lord Jesus Christ and enjoy the fellowship of His labor” (“The Laborers in the Vineyard,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2012, 33).

So now it's recorded on my blog.  So if they ever read this, my children will know. 

Weekend

 Winter break is over and I feel kind of sad about it.  Usually I am more ready to go back to school.  This time, I know I have chemo again next week and that fills me with a bit of dread.  I was sick last time.

I also have things to be happy about.  There are always things to be happy about.  For one thing, my energy.  I have felt really great the past few days.  I did a big project clearing out my closet in my office and going through everything and putting it all back together on a shelf Adam and Mark built for me.  I even ironed some of Adam's shirts on Saturday!  This return to health makes the chemo feel worth it, even though I still dread it.

Adam continues to thwart me in my attempts to protect his time.  We met Emma at IKEA; she was getting a dresser and we were getting the closet shelf. 

I told Emma under no circumstances was she to ask her dad to help her with the dresser.  I told her Mark could help her.  I also told Mark that I would pay him to build my shelf and that we weren't involving Adam.

Then Adam wanted to deliver Emma's dresser and help her carry it upstairs.  (She built it herself because when Emma wants to do something, she does it.)  Also, Adam talked to Mark on Friday night about building my shelf together on Saturday.  I said, "No!  Mark is going to do it alone."

Adam asked, "Why?"

I said, "Because you don't have time."

Adam said, "Well I want to spend time with Mark."

So they built the shelf.  In the late afternoon they went swimming together at the Orem Rec Center while I continued on my project and then I met them at Via 313 for pizza.  Mark went home and Adam and I went night grocery shopping.

I still can't get over the amount of energy I have.

A few months ago, ten percent of what I did on Saturday would have exhausted me.

It was nice to go to church.  I went to primary but it wasn't my turn to lead the singing.  I just got to sing along and enjoy being in primary.  Several people went out of their way to talk to me and see how I am doing, which was kind.  I was happy to report to them that I'm doing pretty well.

Shannon and I set up a dinner date with our husbands for before my next chemo.  I have these cycles and I need to take advantage of the good times.

Emma came over.  We played Flip7 and talked a little to Braeden and Anna and QE on FaceTime and talked about Scotland (and Emma sang to us with a Scottish accent, like she does...).

I was exhausted last night and went to bed early.  Adam pointed out everything out of character I had done this weekend.  He said, "You made dinner!  When is the last time you made dinner?"

I don't know.  I have helped other people, but this was my first solo dinner in months. 

I'm back! 

I have been pestering Braeden about what he wants for a birthday present.  He keeps saying he doesn't know.  Then last night, he sent this:

I am going to need more guidance.  How do I assess quality and/or approachability?  Amazon reviews?  It is rough when your kids get smarter than you.

Now back to school (I clearly need it, but I don't think the third grade curriculum is doing much to help me keep pace with Braeden).  

I will be happy to see everyone.

Grateful Friday

 I had energy yesterday to take down all the Christmas decorations!  It was remarkable.  I wasn't sure I would last because for the past several months, my energy flags in a big way.

I was tired by mid afternoon, but I was also finished with the task.  I was grateful to have energy and I felt like myself!

Mark helped me a lot with the ladder stuff and with carrying all the bins up and down the stairs.  At one point he came upstairs and I was putting a few things in the dishwasher.  He said, "You'd better not be doing any dishes!  Are you trying to put me out of a job?"

I gratefully ceded the kitchen to him.

We drove to Salt Lake City to get Adam at the airport.  I was happy to see him.  It had only been a bit over 24 hours, but it felt longer.  I'm grateful whenever we are able to do something to help and support Braeden and Anna and I'm grateful Adam is the kind of dad who is up for anything.  And it's usually his idea.

We ate dinner with Aunt Leone (which is an idiom in our family that means we ate really early) and met Emma at La Casa Del Tamal in Salt Lake.  Adam had gone to a different location of the same restaurant with his friend, Gene, who is Mexican (despite what you would think for a person name Gene).  Gene thinks it is the best Mexican food around here and I think I agree.  We ordered way too much food and needed three to go boxes, but that bodes well for lunch today.

I'm grateful for a husband who introduces me to new things all the time--things like tamales with chocolate mole sauce and spicy meat wrapped in banana leaves.  He just goes around enriching all of our lives.

Tomorrow we are meeting at IKEA.  I'm getting a new shelf for my closet and Emma is going to buy a new dresser.  She thought she could carry it herself into her apartment.  I had her look up the weight of the boxes.  She then said maybe her friend Brigette could help her.  Adam said, "We'll go."

He's the busiest person I know.  Probably because he is always swerving to help other people.  

I'm grateful he's mine.

Happy New Year!

 We are back in Utah and I woke up to a rainy day that I wish was snowy.  We have had a mild winter and I'm not sad about that, but at the same time, I do like snow.  Especially when I am cozy inside.

Yesterday we packed up and got the house ready to be gone.  Having Braeden there was a boon.  He added 1/3 more manpower to loading the car.  It shouldn't surprise me, but I see those boys that I used to carry around heft the biggest boxes or a big fully loaded cooler like it's nothing, and I'm a little amazed.  But also grateful.

We left Adam and Mark to finish winterizing and Braeden and QE and I went to visit my parents.  We helped them take down a few Christmas decorations and visited and my mom read QE some stories and nursery rhymes.

We said good-bye, which is never not ever easy.  Adam and Braeden and QE headed west and Mark and I headed east.

I was happy to be with Mark.  He had been sick while we were in Nevada, fighting off a head cold.  Also he willingly (gratefully?) cedes all attention to Braeden, our resident extrovert.  Mark is only too happy to fade into the background.

I had a full drive of Mark time though and I appreciated it.  He had made a playlist and it was good.  He had songs from the 70s, 80s and 90s and I only vetoed one song (Alice In Chains).  We talked about our hopes and dreams for the new year.  We stopped at Del Taco in Wendover which is an exciting new development.  It is a great gluten free option for a roadtrip and we are over the moon when we find one of those!  We traded driving and it wasn't terrifying (just like my boys being these big strong men, driving with my children and it isn't terrifying still takes me by surprise a little).  

We stopped at Winco for party supplies.  Mark unloaded the car and I started putting stuff away.  After a little rest, I started taking decorations off the little tree.  I called down to Mark and he brought up all the bins.  Usually I take down Christmas in one Herculean exhausting session, but I know I need to pace myself this year.  After the little tree, I started assembling all the food for our night.  Emma came and we ate and caught up on the week.  Then we played games and between rounds I set a timer and we would take decorations off the big tree for five minutes.  After the timer, we'd go back to the game.  It took several rounds, but we finally finished.

The kids were willing to do more, but I was done.  As is my custom, I let the new year turn without me witnessing it.  Braeden told me that Anna said in Russia (where she served her mission) they say that whatever you are doing at the New Year is what you'll be doing that year.

I was asleep.

Today I'm intending to work more on the Christmas decorations--and I think I will likely finish since the trees are done.  Late this afternoon, we'll pick up Adam and I'll be happy to have him back.  I think he'll be happy to have missed the boxing up of Christmas.