I wish I knew.
Here’s what I do know though. And I’ve known this since I knew I had a mother and father that love me. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. I know it.
Here’s another thing I know. I can look at my children and see THEIR worth. It abounds. It is so blaringly obvious to me that I wonder someone hasn’t kidnapped them by now just because they are so fabulous and anyone would want them.
In my imperfect mothering, if I can see that in my own children, why don’t I remember that my Heavenly Father must see that in me…in all of us?
I know that because he loves us, God sends us help. He did last night. I went to the General Relief Society broadcast, which is always a thrill. I love it. Sitting in the darkened stake center, surrounded by friends and taking in the wonderful talks on the big screen, I couldn’t help think about my friends and family all over the country doing the same thing, filling their wells.
President Uchtdorf, in his charming German accent, spoke about “a principle that will help (us) find a path to peace, hope and joy.” All around me I could feel women sit up and pay attention. We needed this! My friend Stephanie reached over and squeezed my arm. He said,
“Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Father in Heaven’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate.”
Of all of the good and true messages I heard from speakers at last night’s meeting, I can’t get the idea of creativity out of my head. I have been thinking about times when I was truly feeling creative…not trying to emulate someone else…but really living by my own lights. That was when I felt most alive, most like me. When I feel like that, I feel happy. I feel like I have a solid place in the world and don’t need to measure up to any false standard I’ve fabricated in my silly head. That’s what I want to hold onto.
Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe