Back to school

Ready or not, I am going back to school today.  I am feeling better.  Still tired, but also, tired of being home.

I finished my cross stitch except for the two colors they didn't have at the store when I went weeks ago.

I had Adam help me put the bins of toys back in the closet under the stairs because he is good at Tetris.

I have two big boxes of stuffed animals that our children have to either keep in their own rooms, take with them or give away. 

Miriam called me after school to see where we should proceed with math.  (I said wait until later for perimeter.  They are just learning area and it will confuse them.)

There were more haikus.

From today onward
Haiku emails only please 

This makes me happy 

Followed by:

Presented with a

Challenge to use more brain space

I will accept. GO!

And:

Chopping paper joy

Sharp and clean, cuts like butter,

Saves us tons of time!

And:

Return soon with smiles

Had time with sunshine and beach

Thursday comes too soon

I emailed them my own haiku:

Home, sick and feeble

Your haikus have cheered me up

I love where I work

Then someone sent this:

Get better quickly

We all miss your pretty smile

Sick days suck a lot

 

Report

I am home again.

Yesterday I had a plan.  I would rest for an amount of time and then do 30 minutes of work (I'm trying to reorganize our toy closet among other various projects). 

Adam said it was a bad plan.

He said, "You have to rest."

I don't like when he's bossy.  Or right.

After about ten minutes of me cleaning up the kitchen, I was exhausted.  I altered my plans.  I decided my only thing besides rest would be laundry.

I love reading.  I love sitting in my comfy chair and watching old episodes of TV shows (Northern Exposure for one) and doing my cross-stitch.

But enough is enough.

I am tired of being sick.

Which is the main reason why I decided to stay home again.  I just want to get better!

I made a good start on a new book. I did the Monday NYTimes crossword puzzle (much easier!) and this is my progress on my cross-stitch mini masterpiece:

It's from Seurat's Bathers at Ansieres. (I don't know how to make the accent mark over the e so pretend with me.)

I miss school.  Yesterday a second grade teacher sent an email to everyone wondering where the "good" paper cutter was.  She wrote a haiku.

Cuts stacks at a time

Handle slices through the air

Best, straight division

Matt answered with his own haiku.

It was a big mess

Being recycled, it's fate

A new one Thursday

I like where I work.  Adam and I went to my classroom yesterday evening so I could get everything ready for today.  He saw me looking around and he said, "Do you miss this?"

Yes.  

But going there was also exhausting.  I am taking the advice I would give anyone else.  I'm staying home.  Sigh.

Weekend

Down and out.

Pride cometh before the fall.  I have smugly been thinking that I have a really good immune system because I'm a teacher and I'm impervious to all the little germs lurking about.

January has taught me a different story.

I have had this undulating level of sickness.  Start to get better and then struck back again.  Over and over.

Friday I didn't really think too much about how I felt; I just got up and went to school.  If you stopped doing things because you didn't feel perfectly fine, I don't think you'd really do anything after the age of 40.  On the way to work, when I was sitting still, I thought, "Wow.  I really feel awful."

As the day progressed, I felt worse.  It seemed like more effort to get a sub than not, so I powered through, feeling worse and worse.  Once the kids left, I left early and went to the walk in clinic.  They gave me a Covid, flu and strep test.

The good news, I guess, is that I don't have Covid.  I tested positive for strep and influenza B.  She gave me another antibiotic and some tamiflu.  I said, "So can I go back to school Monday, since I'll be on an antibiotic?"

She looked askance.  "No.  You're contagious."  She told me to stay home at least until Tuesday.  

I told the doctor about my misguided thoughts on my own immunity.  I said, "I'm a teacher!  I thought I was stronger!"

She said, "It's not your fault.  This is really bad this year." (I never thought it was my fault, but I appreciated her validation.)

I felt super sad to miss the show that Geri gave us tickets to for Christmas.  

Adam said he would stay home with me and I said that was ridiculous and he should go.  They took Liliana with them and they had a good time.  I stayed home and watched Netflix and cross-stitched.  

Sunday, Adam was at church from 7:00-4:30.  I worked on my Sunday School lesson and read and did some Family History.  I stopped when I couldn't figure out if Edwin Bourne was actually born (pardon the pun) to a mother in her late 60s.  That is a puzzle to be unraveled when I have more energy.

It was a much quieter day than usual around here on a Sunday.  Emma stopped by for a few minutes to say hello on her way to a cousin FHE.  I didn't finish the Sunday NYTimes puzzle.  We watched All Creatures Great and Small and we both cried like we always do.

Today is another home day.  I hope I have the energy to do something productive.

Although cross-stitch is productive.  So is reading.

Grateful Friday

Yesterday after school and physical therapy (which is getting harder every time!), I gratefully came home to Adam.

He had been in Phoenix and I was glad to see him.  He scraped me up off the floor like he does when I am feeling defeated.

School was hard yesterday.  It is just discouraging sometimes and that is all.

I am still not 100% healthy, but I'm gradually improving.  My students have decided my voice is no longer on Struggle Street, which is what we've been calling it.

The other day, one of them said, "I think your voice is now on OK Street."

And OK is better than struggling, so I'll take it.

I enjoy those kids, even when they discourage me.  

I have one girl who is a fashionista.  It seems like I have one every year.  She showed me all the clothes she got for Christmas and sometimes she wears her older sister's clothes and she shows me the ways they're pinned so they fit her.  She always has lots of accessories and bags and she's the one with all the fun pens the other girls covet.  

Yesterday she asked me, "When you create an outfit, what is your favorite thing?"

I think I just sat there blinking, unsure of how to proceed.  I don't think I create outfits as much as put on a shirt and pants.

She picked up the conversation where I couldn't and said, "I always start with shoes.  They are the most important thing to me."

I love the different things that matter to people and add delight on gray winter days.

It was inside recess yesterday.  Blah.  

I'm grateful for sunshine in the forecast. I'm grateful we're going to a show this weekend (Christmas gift from Geri).  I'm grateful I don't have to speak in stake conference this weekend.

I'm grateful to be Nana.  A few nights ago Braeden and Adam (from Phoenix) and I were all on a FaceTime call.  I was putting away groceries so I put down the phone.  Soon I could hear QE, "Nana where!?!  Nana where?!?"

I quickly picked the phone back up.  She rules this roost and we're her very willing subjects.

The depressing DMV

I had to renew my driver's license and this time I had to go in and get a new picture.

Ugh.

I hate getting my picture taken.

They had to take my picture three times because my hair was in my face (you try telling my hair what to do) and the picture was blurry.  

I was starting to think maybe the pictures weren't blurry, but my face was.

I hate the new picture.  I want to keep my old picture where I look young and fresh-faced.  (I'm pretty sure I didn't like it when I got it.)

So someday, when I need to renew my license and get a new picture, I will want to keep this ugly thing because I look young and fresh-faced.

Depressing.

Mark told me that as long as I don't speed, I'll never have to show it to anyone.

I've never thought of a more valid reason to obey the law.

Love and deathbed repentance

A few days ago one of my students brought me this.  She said she didn't have any wrapping paper, so she used tinfoil.

I said I thought tinfoil made great wrapping paper.

I can't emphasize enough how much tape was used in this wrapping job.

Inside was a pretty + colorful picture and another small package that was a little bag of oyster crackers (why?) taped excessively to another little pouch.

When I finally managed to pull all the tape apart, the separate pouch was Kleenex surrounding colored marshmallows on toothpicks.  In rainbow order.  

It was just so random and so sweet and I loved the great deal of effort she made to create it for me.

***

Parent teacher conferences are coming up in a few weeks and I may or may not have reminded them of that a few times.  

"What do you think your mom will say when I tell her that you just spent 5 minutes putting on lip gloss instead of getting to work?"

Things like that.

The queen of all the girl drama and the one who is almost always chatting when she shouldn't be, gave me this.  I 100% know it is because parent teacher conferences are approaching.

These kids delight me.

I'm never going to let eny one let me down!

Narcissist, party of one

On Friday night, my friends and I talked about what we were like growing up and in high school.  It was so fun to try to explain our origin stories to each other, that I thought it would also be fun to write it out.

What can I say, I already blog.  I'm pretty self centered.

Here's what I was like in high school:

Smart, bookish, unathletic.  I had a brief stint on the basketball team but it was a small town and they didn't cut from JV.  I figured I'd play basketball because Marianne did, but then I realized I didn't like it.

There was a dichotomy in my social standing.  I was definitely not popular, but I was secure in my place.  I was a Dahl.  I had people.  Being a Dahl and also being my mother's daughter marinated me in enough self confidence that being unpopular felt like the natural order of things.  Yeah, I don't really like you that much either.

I didn't date (see above) although I went on a few girls' choice dances that ranged from fun to horrible.  

I had an over inflated notion of my own fashion sense.  I knew I dressed better than all my classmates and I was actually surprised when I didn't get voted best dressed in the senior class.

Surprised. (Thinking about my shock just makes me laugh now.  Silly Thelma!)

I read Seventeen magazine and shopped in Salt Lake City.  Every dollar I earned as a waitress in the summers went to Guess jeans and Esprit sweaters.  And Swatch watches.  

The person who did win best dressed was the most popular girl in our class and wore a lot of tank tops and shorts.

Besides my sisters and cousins, I had one best friend, Marie.  We were a lot alike: smart, bookish, unathletic.

We'd write stories longhand in notebooks and read them aloud to each other.  She also wrote poetry.  We liked a lot of the same things and were generally "other" in our class of 23 graduates.

Once we were laughing about something and talking about a sleepover we'd had and, overhearing, a boy said, "You guys are laughing?  Do you actually have fun?  I thought all you did was homework."

He said it in a really grumpy and begrudging way, like we shouldn't be having fun.

I cried, a lot, when I graduated from high school.  Change was hard for me to contemplate.  High school was also easy for me to get over.

I went to my ten year class reunion, but that is all.  I didn't leave anything there.

I was happily placed between an older sister, who was good at everything, and a younger sister, who was kind of a trouble maker but you would never guess it now because she is the straightest arrow in the quiver (although don't cross her). Both sisters got suspended from school at least once and Olivia also got in trouble for fighting.  I was boringly strait laced by contrast.

I was naturally compared to Marianne, most often by me.  She was taller, got better grades, was more athletic, had starring roles in the school plays, and she was the drummer everyone gathered around to listen to at basketball games.

I was sort of beige by comparison, but I think it was also really good for me.  It forced me to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do and if I still wanted to do it even though Marianne was super good at it.

High school is such an intense and formative time.  I'm grateful that I did have my people.  (And my clothes.  I looked cute, even though I was the only person who thought so....)

Weekend

It was a full weekend!

Friday night I had some friends over--my school friends--and it was so great.  We laughed and teared up a few times and chatted and ate snacks.  Conversations ranged from menopause to personal revelation to blended families to high school to Jamie's conversion story.  And there was a smattering of school/teacher talk in there too.

I tried to listen more than talk because of my ring ding voice, but I loved our time together.  It is good for my soul to be around those women.

Saturday, Adam was busy and mostly gone all day with stake conference.  I didn't have anyone to talk to which was good because I was trying to rest my voice.  I worked on a school project I brought home and then started with my big toy organization project.  The first step was moving a bunch of books upstairs for QE.  She sat and listened to the first two chapters of the original Winnie the Pooh yesterday.  I don't know what's going to become of that girl but I know it will involve books.

(Karla told us Friday night about one of her sons who loved tools and slept with a tape measure as a toddler and now he can fix anything.  I love the variety of talents and interests people are born with!)

I met Olivia and Lili for a late lunch after Olivia's temple shift at the Jordan River temple.  It was fun to visit with them and was a good distraction for me and my nerves.  I stopped by JoAnn Fabrics on the way home to pick up some embroidery floss and that allowed me just enough time to quickly change into a dress and brush my teeth and head to stake conference.  

I survived! (I mean, obviously, here I am writing.)

But, my voice survived.  Olivia was telling me about a discussion she'd had with some new converts about 1 Nephi 3:7.  

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

It gave me comfort leading up to my talk.  The Lord will provide a way!  He will help me!

I sucked cough drops and when it was my turn, I took a little water bottle with me that they had placed at each seat on the stand.  

My voice wobbled a little and President Whitehead jumped up and gave me his little water-bottle.  (He told me later he wanted me to be double fisted, drinking water.) Adam told me the entire stake presidency was praying for me and my voice and that made me feel like I was in very good hands.

I had sent a link to my family and they said they could understand me!  If you had heard my voice earlier in the week, you would know I had help!  I'm grateful the Lord did provide a way and a voice!

Sunday's session of stake conference was great.  Also, I wasn't nervous so I think that enhanced the whole experience.

Poor Markie was sick.  On Saturday Lili told me that she'd heard Mark was sick.  I said, "He is always sick."

I wish he weren't.

I went on a mission of mercy and took him Sudafed (the good stuff from the pharmacy), zinc, my prescription cough medicine, fruit and Benadryl.  

I met his roommates for the first time as they came in, red cheeked from walking home from church.  They were very friendly and one of them said Mark and I looked "exactly" alike.

I'm sorry, Mark.  Is looking like your 50 year old mom every college student's dream?  Mark said it is probably the hair. 

We only had Lili and Liberty and Nikki for dinner, but it was a good time.  We made omelettes--everyone made their own and pancakes that I kind of overcooked because I was too distracted visiting.  

Later, Adam's aunt Geri, his cousin Pam and Pam's son Bridger stopped by.  It was great to see them again.  They've moved to St. George so it was good to catch up and compare notes on our beautiful granddaughters.

Pam has endured so much in her life with an incredible amount of grace and loving kindness.  Her resilience and goodness inspire me!

Grateful Friday

I'm grateful for my students.  One of my hard ones moved away and I feel a little conflicted about it, because I did really like him.  On the other hand, man, my life got easier.  My little group is easy and pleasant and I enjoy them.

I love picking them up from specialties and having the teacher gratefully tell me they were good instead of last year when the specialty teacher would look at me with crazy eyes and want me to just take them away.

I'll enjoy this year while I have it.

And also, they make me laugh.  Yesterday dentists came up.  (When I say we talk about everything I'm not kidding.)  They all told me about their dentists.  I asked, "Do you get a prize for no cavities?"

They all get prizes either way.  Hmph.  I said, "Where's the motivation?"

One girl considered that and said, "By Winco."

So I guess we could add motivation to the list of vocabulary words.

It is Career Day in a few weeks.  They dress up as the career they want.  One boy said, "So it is basically another Halloween?"

I guess.  Depends on what you want your career to be.

One girl said, enthusiastically, "I know what I'm going to be for veterinarian day, a welder!  Because my dad is a welder."

Instead of unpack that sentence, I just gave an equally enthusiastic reply.  "Sounds great!" 

***

I'm grateful for Adam.  Braeden asked me how the empty nest was again and I said, "Wonderful!"

He said, "Maybe we should boomerang there next."

I would not be sad about that.

***

I'm grateful to live in Utah.  I love the mountains and the blue skies.  I love being close to my college kids.  I love that my fellow teachers and I chat about our church callings. I love that when I was at physical therapy and we were talking about my voice (and the fact that I still sound like I belong in a casino, having been an enthusiastic smoker all my life) and I brought up the fact that I'm speaking in stake conference, we had a whole conversation about it.

He wanted to know what my talk was about and he told me about a recent Saturday night stake conference talk he had heard and he reassured me that at least the Saturday evening session is not as well attended as the Sunday session.

(Which is true, but all the Saturday evening people are listening...)

***

I'm grateful my voice is improving.  Finally!  Yesterday one of my students said, "Hey! You sound better!"  

My voice

Yesterday I went to a School Community Council meeting after school.  I told Matt that I needed to leave at 4:00 because I had a doctor appointment and "I can't live like this!"

My voice.

It is still gone.  It was maybe worse yesterday.  And yesterday was day 10.  It is annoying.  My own voice is grating on my nerves.  It hurts to talk.  It feels like so much effort to talk.

Woe is me.

(And I'm pretty sure if something drastic doesn't improve, Adam is going to be reading my talk at stake conference, which wouldn't be terrible for me....)

I went to the doctor and he is the same one who initially diagnosed Mark.  He asked how Mark is doing and what he is up to.  He is so kind and I appreciate a kind doctor.  He prescribed me a steroid to try to revive my voice.

Fingers all crossed.

Love

I love not having a Monday.  They are the hardest days at school.

I love the blue blue sky and the snow from the top of the mountains all the way to the edge of the street.

I love third graders.

I love going home to a quiet house after the unquiet of school.  I honestly don't know how mothers of young children can be schoolteachers.  I mean, they can, they do.  Just, my hat is off to you!

I love podcasts and novels and magazines and blogs.  I love words.

I love being a mother.

I love being a grandmother.

I love Adam.

I love this story a student told me yesterday.  We were somehow talking about blindness during our reading time.  A boy raised his hand and said his family went to a restaurant for burritos.  There was a woman there who was blind and had a guide dog.  He said his older brother helped her because she didn't speak Spanish and the guy at the restaurant didn't speak English.  He said, "The owner speaks English, but he wasn't there."

I struggled to teach that same older brother to read a few years ago.  

I love the reminder that there are a lot of different ways to be smart and even more to be kind.

Funhouse

 

Being Empty Nesters again is a good time, even when we just do mundane things.  

Yesterday we went to World Market and browsed around and only bought some hand soap and a birthday present for Jamie (that Adam picked out--he knows me).  We had lunch at Five Guys and marveled about a doppelgänger couple of some people in our ward at a table across the room.  Adam said, "That's creepy."

I said I wasn't sure it was creepy; it was remarkable.

We delivered a chair and some computer monitors to Emma.  I love going to her apartment.  It is very cute and she clearly loves it.  Happy children is just about the happiest thing you can have.

From there we went to The World's Biggest Costco (I'm pretty sure we're the only ones who call it that).  It was less about being efficient and more about seeing everything.  I guess you could say we got our steps in.  We really only needed gf pizza but we left with a cartful, like you do.

Across the street was Ashley Furniture and why not stop by when you're not exactly in the market for new furniture? 

"Is this going to be a place where people talk to you?" Adam said with dread.

I'm the introvert who detests small talk with strangers and Adam could happily find out about all their hopes and dreams. He hates talking to pushy salespeople and they don't really bother me.  If my mouth doesn't say it, my body language does and they usually leave me alone pretty quickly.

We sat on lots of couches.  And critiqued lots of other couches.  I am on a quest to have Adam get a big squashy recliner and he doesn't want one. (Actually I probably don't either, but at this point I can't give up.)

We talked to Braeden and Scott on the drive home.  It was just a nice day.  We were together and that is the best kind.

Weekend

Our contract time to leave school is at 4:00, but on Friday, at 2:30, they told us to go home early.  They told us three times because none of us were ready to go home yet.  They were worried about the impending storm.

It didn't materialize.

My weather app is giving me major trust issues.

I was glad we had decided against our trip to Nevada, although I was kind of sad we had decided against our trip to Nevada.  Adam and I were both pretty tired from the week.

Having a day off on Monday took a lot of pressure off of Saturday which was delightful.  We did all the things including going to Winco.  It's our weekly fancy date.  At one point we separated and when Adam found me, he said, "It is really hard to find someone wearing a black jacket and a BYU sweatshirt (what I was wearing) in this place." 

Adam is always one to invent a new idiom and Emma, our family Amelia Bedelia, is terrible at idioms (which is surprising because she is excellent at words).  I sent the new idiom to our family group text:

 Emma responded to Adam's nonsense with this:

Emma is probably the cleverest person I know.

Before Christmas, I had bought some soup from Costco that was gluten free.  It was languishing in the back of the fridge, forgotten.  Saturday, Adam cleaned out the fridge.  He is the self appointed refrigerator czar and you don't want to put the dairy in the wrong spot.

Ask me how I know.

The soup was expired and my vote was to throw it away and Adam said it would be fine:

Adam heated up the soup.  He said the prayer before we ate.  He prayed, "please bless this food to be...OK."

I held it in until after the prayer, but then I lost it.  It was one of the times where I laughed so hard I cried.  Those are our sons' favorite times with me.  I swear they want to kill me by laughter and they probably will someday.

It was just such a low bar for our dinner.  Let's just hope and pray it doesn't kill us?

It was actually really good and we're still going strong, so I guess Adam's prayer and lack of respect for expiration dates worked out.

Sunday morning the snow finally had materialized and it was beautiful.

I love waking up to fresh snow.

And also someone had plowed our driveway by 7:00 AM.  We have the best neighbors.

After church and the best sacrament meeting Adam and I have ever been to (wow!), we had ten for dinner and I embraced mismatched dishes because some of our dishes are in Nevada.

In other words, I'm growing as a person.

We had a fun evening.  Adding 8 kids in their 20s (I know, they're adults, but they are kids to me) really livens up the place.  Hyrum brought his new fiancé and it was fun to meet her and we all like her a lot.  Adam headed up a brief Come Follow Me lesson (we had Clarissa start the song we sang, I mean, when you have a member of the Tabernacle Choir in your midst...).  After that we played Heads Up.  It was Davises and Lili against the Johnsons and it was fun.  Maybe the most fun was watching the other team.

Today I am looking forward to low-key adventures with Adam.  We're going to take the second chair to Emma and hit the World's Biggest Costco (just for kicks--we know how to party) and I'm going to paint my nails.

Big stuff.

Grateful Friday

I'm going back to school today.  I had a telemedicine appointment and got some antibiotics and some cough medicine.  I don't know if I really needed antibiotics and I'm pretty sure the doctor I talked to didn't know if I needed antibiotics because he could hardly hear me squeak out my end of the conversation.

He called me sweetie, which bugged me.

I think the antibiotics are actually helping though and I know the cough medicine helped.  I slept much better last night and I'm grateful for that!

Yesterday was Braeden's birthday.  Anna sent a video of QE saying he is the "best guy in the world."

Couldn't agree more.

I'm grateful for Braeden.  I'm grateful to be a mother.

I waited until Adam got home to talk to Braeden because my voice is so wonky.  Braeden said that besides on his mission, this is his first birthday that my grandma hasn't called him.

Mark said the same.

That fills me with gratitude and a little sadness too.  My 51st birthday will be the first one I don't hear from my grandma.  How lucky am I?  But I miss her.

I'm grateful for the snow we're getting.  It is beautiful and also needed.

We had planned to go to Nevada this weekend but between my health and the weather, we decided not to.  I'm sad about that, but also grateful for a quiet weekend at home.

In sickness and in health

Sometimes it is very obvious that I am married to a firstborn.  Two nights ago, Adam made me use the neti pot.  I hate using the neti pot and he said, "Do it anyway."  He stood there and watched me, making sure I used up the whole bottle of saline.

Later he asked, "Do you feel better?"

I said, "Yes, but I'm not going to admit that to you."

He said, "You have to use it.  Every few hours."

Being a second born, I'm sometimes the tiniest bit subversive.  He went to work and I didn't use the neti pot one time.

He also said that I should not do any dishes or laundry, even though they both needed doing.  Adam said, "I don't want to come home to these dishes being done."

Since fetching the packages off the front porch about tired me out, I was more obedient on that front.  I actively did very little.  I finished one book and started another.  I worked on my stake conference talk.  I watched a movie while I cross-stitched.  

Also, I watched the snow fall.

I crossed my fingers for a snow day.

It took Adam two and a half hours to get home.  When he called to tell me he was on his way, I still couldn't talk.  I had googled ways to get your voice back, thinking the internet knows everything and there was probably some simple trick I could employ.  I read in several places that if you have a job like a teacher or singer and use your voice a lot, you should not power through laryngitis because you could damage your vocal cords.  

Adam said, "You're not going to school tomorrow."  Since I pretty much felt like a shaky colt, I agreed.

I'm grateful for my bossy firstborn who takes care of me.

Sick day

 I am home today.  Sick.  So much for bragging about my immune system and the benefits of Wellness Formula.

I'm out of Wellness Formula, by the way, but I've ordered more from Amazon.

My voice was no better yesterday than it was the day before plus I felt worse.  It was the kind of day that was easier to go to school than create lesson plans.  Sometimes lesson plans aren't that daunting on the fly, but the second day back from break, they seemed hard.

School was also hard.

I wrote a note on the board for them to start on their math review that we do every morning and they were all silent.  They think they can't talk when I don't talk and it is kind of a beautiful thing.

We got through our day pretty well.  We have been reading a story about the Solar System so I had them go on Epic and read books about planets.  They loved that and some of them took copious notes.

They also loved Pictionary spelling.  Every day we practice their spelling words and then the actual test is on Friday.

Usually I say the word, they write it on their white boards then hold them up and I say either yes or no and they look around and correct their spelling as needed.

Yesterday I drew the words on the board.  They are all vowel r words and we had already practiced them one day so they were pretty good at guessing.  Stairs.  Large. Thirst.  (I drew a dramatic stick figure crawling toward a glass of water.)

They worried about me.  One of them asked, "Do you think you should get checked out?"

I said, "Yes.  Maybe I'll call my mom to come and pick me up."

At lunch I went in the office to ask Matt if I should get a sub for today or just see how I felt later.  He wasn't there, having gone outside for recess duty to relieve the aides because it was so cold.  What a guy!

I asked my question and all three secretaries said, "Yes!  Get a sub!  Now!"

So I did.

They asked if I was leaving then.  (My voice made me sound like my days and maybe hours were numbered.). But I said no.  The afternoons aren't that hard because they have specialties.

For writing I got a Henri Matisse print from the library and had them use adjectives to describe it.  Not wanting to talk made me a more creative teacher, I think.

During P.E., I wrote sub plans and made copies and left early.  

Today my plan is to do nothing.  My mom told me to get a good book and stay warm.  I can do that.

Off to a start

I wouldn't call it a great start, but it was a start.

I couldn't find my mittens.  I considered maybe they were in my classroom.  They weren't.  Maybe they're in Nevada?  How could I lose my mittens?!?

It was 54 degrees in my classroom.  Bless the hearts of the voters who opposed the bond.  The wind chill made it 6 degrees outside.  I donned my gloves (usually I would wear gloves inside of mittens, but alas) and took a stop sign and went out to my post.  Matt was there.  He said, "Give me the stop sign and you go back inside."

The award for world's best principal goes to....

I was so grateful!

My computer was completely dead.  It was plugged in but I guess that plug wasn't working because it was dead.  Also I got a text from a parent that she wanted a meeting.  That's always a great way to start a morning when you are disoriented from trying to remember how to be a teacher again.

I also had morning recess duty, but since it was a balmy 14 by then, we had inside recess.

Riley did something to the heat and it started working with a vengeance.  By the afternoon it was 80 in my classroom and my students, wearing hoodies and sweaters, had lolling tongues and flushed faces.  

I talked to Riley again.  He explained that the system associated with my classroom (lucky me!) is worn out and it doesn't open when the heat is supposed to go on and it doesn't close once you open it. 

I had a student worriedly ask me when the next election is.  "November.  We will elect a new president then."

He said, "I'm afraid of Trump.  He wants to attack Mexicans."

I said I didn't think that was true (but the most recent thing I read about him was that he was once again making fun of John McCain's POW injuries so what do I know?).

Another student said, "I like Trump."

I said that no matter who we wanted or didn't want for president, the important thing was to be kind to each other about it.

A girl said, "Talking about Trump reminds me of a joke. Can I tell it to you?"

I said, "Is it appropriate for school?"  You never know.

She said, "Yes.  What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?"

I said, "What?"

"Swimming trunks!"

I like third graders.

Also, mid-day, I lost my voice.  My students would look at me askance and one of them said, "Teacher! It keeps getting worse!"

Then they tried to describe it to me, like I didn't know.  "Sometimes it goes really high and sometimes it goes really low and sometimes I can't even hear it."

We skipped read aloud time and I didn't participate in singing time.

Guess who needs a voice?  The teacher.

Weekend

I told Marianne that Wellness Formula let me down.  I hadn't taken it consistently when I first started getting sick because of my migraine and feeling nauseous.  

Marianne said it sounded more like I had let Wellness Formula down.  

I still believe!  I started taking it like it was my job yesterday and I have high hopes.

But I've been sick with a cold all weekend.  And since I started using Wellness Formula (and started teaching which kind of armed my immune system against everything) I haven't had a full fledged cold.

I could do an ad for Wellness Formula, but no one is asking.  

Besides trying to keep a cold at bay, I enjoyed the weekend with Adam.  We are back to being real empty nesters and we like it.  We took one of Emma's chairs to her Saturday afternoon and it was fun to see her apartment and have her show us all her projects and arranging.  It is as neat as a pin and I can tell she's happy having her own little nest.  

Otherwise I mostly laid low.  I rested and studied for my talk and watched the snow fall.

I'm back to school today.  I'm ready, but not ready.  Last night when I set my alarm and started thinking about things, I felt this cascading feeling of I'm not ready.  Then I remembered the third grade teachers have before school traffic duty.  With the wind chill it is currently 8 degrees in Orem, UT.  

That doesn't do much to boost morale.

I'm taking Wellness Formula in my bag.

Grateful Friday

Yesterday I woke up with a headache.  So many plans to get stuff done.  So many plans.

Mark told me that usually our bodies wait until we have a break to shut down.  He is not wrong.  I felt worse than I have felt in a very long time.  Barely functioning.  I dragged myself downstairs for some applesauce and then slept on the couch for an hour.  I dragged myself back upstairs and back to my bed and turned on a podcast and slept right through it.  I basically slept from 10:00 PM to noon with a few dragging around breaks in between.

My poor neglected list of projects just sat in the corner.

I was very grateful when I started to feel better.  I was grateful that I didn't have anywhere to go.  I was grateful for my warm and safe and comfortable home.

Things don't always turn out how I may want them to, but it still isn't a bad life.

I'm grateful we got a dusting of snow.  Welcome winter!  

I'm grateful that Adam is returning from Phoenix today.  

Here's this though:  I was asked to speak in stake conference and if Adam can't shield me from these kinds of situations, what is he even doing going to all those meetings?

I didn't cry the day I took the tree down

I have very little of interest to report, but I come here out of habit.

Yesterday was mostly consumed with taking down the Christmas decorations and trying to right the house.   There is a whole song written about the melancholy of taking down a Christmas tree and I don't feel melancholy; I am usually very happy to be moving to a new season and making our house quieter.

As I was taking all the ornaments off the tree alone yesterday, I did feel an emotion and it was rage.

Someone had wrapped the wire hooks on some of the ornaments (those really flexible long hooks that I hate) enthusiastically around the branches.  It took both hands and a lot of effort to disengage them.

So far Mark and Adam have pled innocent so that leaves Emma.

She will blame Braeden because she always does even when he lives a few states away.

I went to physical therapy yesterday and they had me do a new exercise that was really hard both physically (strength and range of motion-wise) and mentally (I lacked the coordination).

Nothing like feeling like a clumsy weakling and then heading home to rage at a Christmas tree....

I feel good about today.  I have errands and need to drop by my school, but I am also looking forward to feathering our nest a little around here.

And sitting in my chair and reading.

Holiday brunch

Yesterday we were lucky enough to go to Olivia's for her holiday brunch.  I don't think when she started it she knew it would be such a cryfest, but it is.  And it is wonderful.

We go around the circle and talk about our past year and our upcoming year and it starts to get real really fast.  We talk about hard things in our lives and it is vulnerable but the safest place ever.  Inevitably talking of trials we've faced or are facing turns to talking about our reliance on the Savior and the Gospel.  Cue more tears.

I think the younger girls are often mystified by it all, but it occurred to me that it is a blessing for them to hear, especially their older cousins who they admire, admit to not so perfect lives.  We're all in this together.  Also it is a blessing for them to hear those same older cousins testify of Christ.  

That sisterhood is a tether in my life and I'm so grateful for those women and girls who mean so much to me and who help me remember who I am and where I belong.

We packed up and headed home, but didn't fully winterize because Adam and I decided to head back for Martin Luther King weekend in a few weeks.  

Being there makes me happy.

Being here makes me happy.

If my remaining week can live up to my very ambitious to do list before going back to school, I will be very, very happy.

(And surprised.)

Weekend + happy new year

I am beginning this post on a Sunday afternoon at the Home Place.  The winter sunlight is low and fading.  Mark has quiet jazz playing on the speaker and Adam and Mark are making gf Chex Mix for our New Year's Eve party. 

We came here Saturday.  We brought our Christmas gifts that Adam and I bought each other for here.  One of my gifts was a bookshelf.  I told Mark that I'd make a deal with him:  if he built the shelf, I would make his bed.

Emma helped me and it took less than 3 minutes to make his bed.

The bookshelf was a little wonky (which happens sometimes with IKEA stuff) and Mark struggled for about an hour, which is not normal for that kid who is a whiz with an Allen wrench and IKEA instructions.

I said, "Thank you for making my bookshelf!"

He said, "Well, you made my bed...."

I love the bookshelf.  It is mostly empty but it lends a homey feeling I didn't know was missing.

Emma built some IKEA chairs.  We are giving her the chairs that we have here which were my grandma's.  They will look good in her new apartment.

Emma said, "Why am I doing this and I also made beds?"

I said, "Because you are getting two free chairs."

She realized that was a good trade.

We went visiting after dinner at my parents' house.  Ammon's family, Olivia and Edgar and Marianne and Robert and some of their family were all there.  

Location, location, location.

***

I am back early in the New Year.  I'm the only one awake, which is kind of my favorite.  Except I didn't get enough sleep, which isn't anyone's favorite.

Back to my recap of events:  Lili spoke in church and it was wonderful.  She's always been as good as gold and I love to see the growth and conversion she experienced.  She is not a loud talker and the microphone was a little low.  My dad got up towards the beginning of the talk and adjusted the microphone to the delight of all of his grandchildren.  Lili didn't miss a beat, she said, "Thank you Grandpa," and went right on speaking.

We had Costa Rican food at Olivia and Edgar's after church.  It was good food and fun to sit around visiting with everyone.

We came back to the Home Place and some napped and Mark read and we played a few games.  Mark is a binge reader.  He rarely reads, but then he decides to read and it is about all he does. 

Around 8:00 we went over to Marianne's for the New Year's Eve party.  That is 9:00 mountain time and I never go anywhere at 9:00 PM except to bed.

I was having enough fun that I didn't notice how tired I was for awhile.

We had an abundance of delicious food and we played the bowl game which was delightful and at one point I thought maybe would send me into the next life because I was laughing so hard.

Also, it turns out Hyrum and Carolina thought I was younger than Olivia.  Olivia said, "She's a grandma!" I said they just noticed the pecking order.  I would have zero success bossing her around, but she can boss me around.

After the bowl game we played the game where you write a sentence, pass it on, the next person illustrates your sentence, folds over the original sentence, passes it on, the next person writes a caption of your picture, etc.

That also ended up very entertaining with lots of statements about who loves who, Thelma and Olivia wishing they were as curvy as Marianne, and Tabor being maligned.

I'm convinced any time you get that many family members in the same room, you're going to have a wild time.

I hit my wall about thirty minutes before we actually left.  Emma tried to convince me to stay, it was 11:30, but I was tired and beyond.

Also, once you stop staying up for the New Year, you realize it really isn't that important to your life.  At least that is my experience.

Today we have our ladies' holiday brunch at Olivia's which is always a highlight.  Then we will have to pack up and leave which I never want to do.  I want to stay here forever.  I mean, I have a bookshelf and everything now.