Grateful Friday

 Yesterday was a hard day.  The exclamation point on the day was that my PET scan was denied by my insurance and all the effort I had gone to figure out sub plans for Monday was in vain.

Sub plans the first weeks of school are no joke.  They can't do anything independently and it takes so much effort to figure out what a sub could do with them and then you have to write an explanation.

But my PET scan was canceled.

I felt frustrated and in the end, just depleted.  Living one day at a time is all well and good, but it is exhausting and kind of miserable too.

I talked to my people and everyone gave me bolstering words.

I decided to make a little dent in some school stuff and I was working on some google slides.  They didn't look good--graphic design eludes me as a talent.  Adam was late at work, but I called Emma.  I shared the slides with her and she said, "Oh, that is easy."

I said, "Not for me."

She said, "Well that is why you have me."

She fixed them up literally before my eyes.  It was amazing.  She made them look way better than I could do.

Before I went to bed, that little win wasn't enough to overcome the heaviness of the day.  Everything felt too hard and out of my ability to cope with.

I went to sleep eventually (Adam read to me and that helps--I am a toddler).  I woke up at 2:30, hurting everywhere from just tension in all my muscles.  Since my ring ding biopsy, my hip hurts and I can't lie on my back or seem to get too comfortable.  The tension in my neck and shoulders are old friends that make everything more...fun.

I stretched and prayed and listened to a meditation.

I opened up my phone and saw that my mom had sent me some good quotes.

I listened to hymns.

One of the quotes from my mom had referenced a talk by Elder Wirthlin.  I got up and read the talk.  I copied down scriptures and thoughts in my journal.

I am writing this in the 4:00 hour; I need to get ready for school in a few hours.  I'm going to be tired (I'm tired anyway).  Still, my soul feels soothed.

One day at a time is doable, even though it isn't my favorite.  I feel grateful for people who pray for me and listen to me cry and hug me and send me quotes (Marianne even sent me a picture of a fortune cookie message the other day), and read to me and cook me dinner and help me make my google slides look better.

I'm grateful for all the people at school that help and support me.  

I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I keep reading about how He understands and how He knows how to succor His people.

I don't know how it works, but I believe I have felt His power in my life.

I also don't know how sunscreen works, but it keeps me from getting sunburns.

I don't have to understand everything.