Planners gotta plan

 Yesterday I asked Matt if I could talk to him.

He said, "Yeah, what do you got?"

We were surrounded by people in the busy work room.  I said, "Can we have a conversation?" 

He said, "Ohhhh," and followed me to my classroom.  (My students were at PE.)

If you need a hype man, may I suggest Matt?  He is exactly who I need.  He told me that he has worked with a teacher and a secretary who had cancer and chemo.  He laid out his plan for how to handle it.  It felt...doable.  He said, "I'm concerned about your health, but I'm not worried about any of this."  He gestured around my classroom.  He said, "The entire school is your team and we've got this."

He also told me that my students would learn a lot of empathy and that was probably more important than anything else I could teach them.

When I was at the doctor's office on Tuesday, Adam told him, "She's not sleeping."

Dr. Chipman scooted his wheelie stool a tad closer to me and asked, "How are we going to get you to sleep?"

I don't know.  Tell me I don't have cancer?

He prescribed an anxiety medicine.  When I got home yesterday I told Mark I had been prescribed anxiety medicine and we would have to go get it when it was ready. (I was planning to take some of my nuclear option migraine medicine so I wouldn't be driving!)  He said, "Well that's about 52 years too late."

OK, but it is here now.

Marek was over and he very earnestly said, "I think anxiety medicine is a good idea."

Yesterday was Mark's first day of school for his semester at UVU.  I said, "I should have milk and cookies or something for you for your first day.  Milk and gluten free cookies."

Marek shrugged and said, "Well it's OK you don't have cookies, because I'm here and I'm gluten free."

And he is.  I love Marek.  My quirky kids collect quirky friends and I'm not sad about it.

I slept long and well last night.  I feel less anxious (and I didn't even take the anxiety medicine because I had taken migraine medicine and I didn't know if they'd get along).  I will save the anxiety medicine for coming days.  

I know there will be coming days.  It's not like this is going to be easy.  I just feel so grateful that it is feeling more and more doable.  As plans start to fall into place I feel like I have a new lease on life.

I need plans!