All week I have felt a low grade anxiety. Last night Adam told me that this has happened before. (To his credit, he didn't say it in a "here we go again" sort of way, but in a "I get you" sort of way.)
He pointed out that I'm not good with transition. I thrive on routines and time with my children.
It's no wonder that I feel anxiety.
My life is on the cusp of being upended. Back to school means a shuffle of Everything and every back to school means my kids are a year older and I'm at the stage of parenting where I feel like I'm on a slippery slope of time with them so that doesn't help me feel any better.
I wondered if I did feel this way last year too. I looked at my blog. (Because it's the closest thing I have to a journal.) Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote this.
This year feels different than last year. More intense. More busyness, less time with my children.
But I survived that.
And I'll survive this.
I'm glad I have Adam (and my blog) to remind me. This has happened before. I keep reminding myself that different doesn't mean worse.
My family is helping me cope. Emma gave me a wide berth which I appreciated. Mark and Braeden flanked me on either side and insisted their proximity and back rubs and foot rubs would help which I appreciated. Then after they were sent to bed, I cried in Adam's arms. A good soaking cry. Everything's going to be all right.
1 comment:
I'm with you. Football practice during school will be at 5:30. :(
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