I told my students not to finish the math test in one day. I told them that there were 60 questions and if they finished it in one day, they are going too fast.
Two of them finished and got the lowest scores I've ever seen on the math test.
I feel demoralized and humbled. It is easy to feel like I failed them.
It is also easy to feel like I just want out of there. Everyone from the school counselor to the administrators to my team teachers to the aides think I have a super hard class. They exhaust me. Much of the challenge is from things beyond their control and beyond my control. Until I have Adderall in my skittle jar, those things will just continue.
But, I wish I could have made more of a positive impact. I keep thinking, maybe if I hadn't missed so much school!
I know how to make myself feel even more discouraged....
I have 14 more days and I will try my best to be positive. Even if they aren't at grade level, I will do my best for them to know that their teacher loves them.
For the counterweights, Hannah texted me a witty description of the birds outside her office window. (We have a fantasy of being bird watchers together.). I had a nice walk with Kim. She told me a tale that had me laughing out loud. Adam and I made dinner together and chatted about everything. Even on my worst days, there are things to be thankful for.
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