Sickness 101

Sometimes I marvel at people that don't do things.  They don't show up, they don't sign up, they don't say yes.  I wonder how they get away with it.  I wonder why I can't get away with it.

For about a week, I have felt sick.  Sometimes it's been just sort of miserable and I kept going as usual.  Sometimes I've been flat on my back.

I've enjoyed none of it.

I haven't shown up to things that I was supposed to go to.  I wasn't very helpful to someone who called me with an inquiry.  I've been trying to reserve my resources.  I've tried to say no to things I didn't want to do.  (My answers were not accepted.  I tried.)

I've enjoyed none of that either.

I want to be a person who shows up.  I want to be a person who signs up.  I want to say yes.

Sometimes it takes getting sick to help you realize what a blessing it is to be the type of person that people can count on.

At the same time, being sick has helped me see that maybe the people that don't show up, sign up or say yes would really like to be doing more, they just can't.

Also, my self worth is tied to what I do, what I accomplish, lines drawn through items on my to do list.  Adam has been trying to convince me that is not true.  Self worth can't just be tied to tasks completed.  I know, I know.

Who knew sickness could be so informative?