Never Mind, Valentine

I really like Valentines Day. Hearts, chocolate, red. What's not to love?

Emma and Mark and I just spent time toiling over Valentines at the kitchen table. Mark's favorite part of school is penmanship so he happily signed his name to the copious list of cousins I'd compiled for him. Emma made a very ambitious list and started out with a very ambitious confection complete with an original poem, doily and big heart with an arrow through it. She's set her sights lower now that I've told her to wrap it up...she's slapping her name on hearts to beat the band.

Valentines Day. Good times.

Where the snafus occur is with my own beloved Valentine.

On our first Valentines Day as a married couple, I promised him a fancy dinner cooked by me.

Then I had a horrific third-graders-excited-beyond-all-reason day at the school where I taught.

Then I drove through Provo, dodging earnest looking boys and men carrying balloons and flowers.

Then I talked to my sister whose husband was taking her out to dinner.

Then I talked to a friend whose boyfriend was taking her out to dinner.

Why wasn't I being taken out to dinner? (Oh yeah, because I'd told Adam I'd make him dinner.)

Where were my balloons and flowers?

I came home to find my sweet husband studying and I was hopping mad.

Thus started our sad Valentine career.

I'm sorry Adam.

Another year, Adam surprised me with tulips. I was thrilled! Tulips! So much better than cliche roses. I love tulips!

The next year I told Adam, "I hope you give me the same flowers as last year."

He got a look of panic on his face. He couldn't remember what flowers he'd bought me.

He thought maybe it was carnations so I got carnations.

Carnations.

Carnations are not equal to tulips on the flower food chain. The tulips probably don't even associate with the carnations. And I don't blame them.

I'm sorry Adam.

So Adam is a shell shocked Valentine.

This year he said, "Do you want to go out for Valentines day?"

I countered with, "Do you want to go out?"

He said, "I'm asking you aren't I?"

I said, "Are you asking me because you want to or are you asking me because you think I'll pout if you don't?"

Adam said forget it.

I said, "No no ask me again."

I'm sorry Adam.

I recognize that I'm maybe a little unhinged when it comes to Valentines day. I recognize that I usually make Adam's life difficult.

And I really love Adam and want to show him that I really love him.

And am sorry about what a pain I am.

So this year in one of the darling shops in La Conner, I bought him a Valentine.



It was wrapped in cellophane so I didn't read the inside but it looked like the ideal Valentine for my knight in shining armor, my Valentine.

Then tonight I opened it so I could write something clever inside.


It's meant to be from a man to his love.

Forget it. I think I'll go back to being bratty at Valentine's day. I might as well stick with what I know.

I'm sorry Adam.

Altruism

Sometimes I'm just downright benevolent, philanthropic, selfless.

I just love to do things for my fellowmen.

Let me give you an example. Today I purchased something online. I was in a flurry because I was simultaneously having school, making doctor appointments, formulating my Target shopping list and waiting for a phone call.

When will I learn that multi-tasking isn't always the secret to success?

I was excited about my purchase though. I zipped off an email to Adam to tell him what I'd bought.

He called back--soon--and told me I'd bought the wrong thing.

He said, kindly (he's long suffering like that), "You need to read the details. It's all right there."

I got off the phone with him and called customer service. As I was waiting to connect to a live person I thought that there was no way I could not sound dumb in the exchange. When I finally had a human on the line I breathlessly explained my mistake, hoping for compassion and wizardry on the part of customer service to refund my money and cancel the order.

She was also rather kind and long suffering and pointed out to me that I hadn't exactly placed the order. She queried, "Did you see the screen that indicated your purchase was complete? Did you get the confirmation email?"

No and no.

It's like grammar when two negatives make a positive. My carelessness coupled with my carelessness equal no harm done.

And now for the altruism. Didn't I just make your day?

I've made you happy right now because you're thinking, "At least I will never, ever be as brainless as that Thelma."

You're welcome.

Keeping My Public Happy

When you don't have much "public", you have to respond to their demands to keep them happy and loyal.

Even if they're your parents and will likely love you anyway.

Tonight my mom said she had a problem with my blog.

I tried to remember if I'd written anything inflammatory in a moment of weakness.

She said, "It's so...so PINK."

"And your dad doesn't like it either."

OK, OK. I thought it was festive with winsome little birds.

But if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.



Let me know if you have any more constructive criticism.

Picture Time

Turkey Trot:

I forgot, I did have a picture of La Conner. Apparently La Conner has 9 turkeys that roam free. Why not? I was contemplating living in a place with wandering turkeys and Tabor pointed out the guide at the Quilt Museum won't be around forever. Now I have a career goal. Someday I'll work in the Quilt Museum. And amble around with the turkeys after hours.


Roping Lessons:

Tabor taught Braeden how to rope. I volunteered my foot to be roped but I wasn't quite as accommodating to the tutelage when Tabor hit a lamp shade (mostly because it revealed a little puff of dust).

Roping also included tying Braeden up.


Tabor was nice enough to teach Braeden how to tie him up too.


Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle:

rolling down the hill

Beautiful Seattle

The Wheedles on the Needle:

My brother with the gravity defying mustache and his daughter with the gravity defying hair.

Tabor says Baby Olivia looks like Governor Blagojevich without her hair in the pony tails.

A baby that cute? I'm not believing him.

A Gift Idea for Vain People

My extraordinary sister-in-law Jennifer gave me this gift:


She formatted and printed all of my blog posts through December 2008 and had them bound in a book for me.

I keep looking at the book in disbelief. So much work on her part. I feel a little guilty that each time I was clicking PUBLISH POST for the sheer pleasure of it, it was creating more work for her.

Thank you Jennifer! From the bottom of my (vain, love-to-see-my-name-in-print) heart!

Visitors

My brother Tabor, his amiable wife Katie and their daughter, Baby Olivia are here visiting. (I've taken no pictures and will try to repent.)

I think Baby Olivia will always be Baby Olivia in my mind...even when she's 25. There are a lot of Olivias in our family (and obviously all beloved since we keep re purposing the name).

There's my great-grandmother who was named Olivia. There's Aunt Olivia (my dad's sister). There's my sister Olivia (The Olivia in my book) and now baby Olivia.

Having Tabor here is completely comfortable. Only my cheeks hurt from laughing so much. Like any good sibling, he knows me. From beginning to end. Well, being 8 years younger some stuff does predate him...like I had to first show him a Lawrence Welk clip on youtube so he could appreciate this little comedic gem.

Yesterday morning we spent our time lounging around and playing with Baby Olivia. She delights our kids. She delights me too. Maybe it's because she reminds me more of my kids at that age (she's one) than any other babies I've been around.

Tabor went out in the woods with Braeden and Mark to check out some of the boy hot spots.

He's an uncle like that.

When Emma pulled out her alarmingly large store of stuffed animals and proceeded to tell us each by name, I said (in a forced meant-to-be-sweet tone), "Emma, maybe no one cares about your stuffed animals' names."

Tabor said, "I'm trying to care."

He's an uncle like that.

So Emma continued,"This is Smoky, this is...."

We went to La Conner to see the sights. (Here's a tip for the reader: Mark in tiny shops full of breakables isn't a recommended enjoyable activity.)

We found the store where Conner, one of our Christmas bears came from. We soon had three swooning children on our hands (or at least two...I'm not sure if Braeden swoons anymore) when they saw the collection of Webkinz. They each quickly located a must have. Mark said, referring to the spotted leopard he was clutching, "He wants me. I didn't find him...he found me."

Against my protestations, Tabor bought them each a stuffed animal.

He's an uncle like that.

He also promised me he'd never buy them anything else for the rest of their lives. I reminded my children of his promise the next shop we entered.

"Don't break anything because Tabor isn't going to buy you anything else..."

I was very disciplined in my shopping until we hit a small book store. (What is it about small book stores that are so alluring? What is it about enormous book stores that are so alluring?) Even though I know full well I could get the books cheaper on Amazon.com, even though I know my book shelves are already full, I weakened and made a few purchases.

One of them was for Baby Olivia so it doesn't count.

On the drive home we stopped at the Outlet Mall. Mostly because my kids don't fit into the tiny togs at The Children's Place and Carter's and Osh Kosh and Baby Olivia does. I was trying to live vicariously.

In one store, the clerk asked me if the sweet baby was mine. I said "No, she's my niece." I don't get to hang out with my nieces in stores so I really liked the sound of it.

After dinner I gave Tabor a big piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. It's his favorite.

I'm a sister like that.

Spelling

"My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.”

A.A. Milne

I have nothing against people that can't spell. In fact some of my favorite people in the world aren't such great spellers.

These favorite people of mine, the non spellers, they know they can't spell and guess what?

They do not create signs advertising their businesses.




Adam said it was the fault of the little shopping center. Look at the example they have when it comes to signage: