more pictures

Adam told me how to add a few more pictures.  Here is cute Emma and less cute me in front of Notre Dame.

This is SFERV.

We ate dinner in a restaurant on this street.

Emma and me in front of the Mona Lisa. Is this real life?

We are in Paris

I am writing you near my open window and French birds are singing in the early morning air.

I think my French is coming along because I recognized they were birds singing.

I am not very good at remembering to say Bonjour and Merci and Pardon. When you are tired hello, thank you and please just pop out.

Emma is impressing me with her French courage. She talked to her seat mate in French on the plane and asked if she would trade me seats so I could sit by Emma. (It wasn't a hard sell because Emma was in the very last row.). Also, halfway through the conversation, Emma said, "Help me, Madame!" to her teacher because the French was over her head. She asked directions at the Louvre in French and she asked what time breakfast is in our hotel.

As for me, I saw a girl with a t shirt that read Pardon My French.

I need one of those.

The flight was long and miserable but Emma and I saw the Northern Lights! She is my good luck charm when it comes to seeing them. I love that I have only seen them with her flying over the Atlantic.

Our bus was delayed picking us up at the airport which was a jet lag catalyst. We sat around in sort of catatonic states by our luggage. I slept on the lurching bus to the hotel better than I had slept on the flight. By then I was beyond exhausted and there was no screaming baby like the plane....

The hotel is ok--sort of seedy--but the bed was a flat surface and I was grateful.

We went to the Louvre. I was put in charge of 5 girls. I call them my ducklings and they call themselves SFERV (Sarah, Fiona, Emma, Rose, and Vanessa). Fiona had a course mapped out for us and the Louvre knocked my socks off. We saw such a little part of it but it was amazing.

From there we walked/took the metro to dinner by way of walking through an incredible part of the city. You know, walked by Notre Dame. No big deal!

We had dinner in a tiny restaurant. It was beef stew and bread and lemon tart. Emma said that the beef stew tasted like my French beef stew recipe and I said this is much better!

She said, "Still, you can taste the similarities."

Hey, I will take it.

We walked around some more and saw impressive buildings, one after another. The Seine was alight with boats and everything was perfectly beautiful. I felt like we were in a movie. A movie where I was exceedingly tired and wanted to take a nap on the sidewalk.

I will try to add some pictures.

Maybe in a separate post. Still trying to figure this out...


Sent from my iPhone

Thelemma

We're off!  Today!  I have to get my house in order and my suitcase filled.  Not much time for blogging.

I am excited.  I'm looking forward to time with Emma.  (Thelma + Emma = Thelemma)

She corrects nearly everything I say.  She looks at me with looks of derision often and effectively.  She told me I looked "frumpy" when I was trying to figure out if I should pack a skirt.  (In the history of the world, no one overthinks packing like I do.)  Like Marianne said, frumpy is never a kind thing to call someone.  She's a teenage daughter though and she is really really good at it.

Also, she is very funny and smart.  She knows French.  She gives the best hugs in the world and she is kind (mostly) and loyal.  She gets me.  When I told her I was possibly crazy with anxiety about the trip.  She said, "Not crazy.  You are an ISFJ. You're a planner."  Her smile lights up my life.  I'm over the moon that I get to share this trip with her.  It wouldn't be possible without Adam.  Besides the obvious financial contribution, he encouraged me to go and keeps telling me when I get nervous how great it will be.

I will try to blog when I am there.  I'm only taking my phone so I'm not sure how blogging will go.  (I'm choosing books instead of technology when it comes to suitcase space.)

Good books don't let you down.

Books I read in March 2017

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown ***

We read this book for book club.  It wasn't super compelling and I'm shallow and want to entertained mostly.  It wasn't really about imperfection.  I can do imperfection.  Imperfection is sort of my jam. I did like this book though. There was something in the book that really resonated with me.  She talked about the distinction between fitting in and belonging.  She said it's easy to fit in.  And it is.  We can dress appropriately and act socially acceptable and we fit in.  Very different to belong.  To have People.  I've never felt that more keenly than when I've moved.

Connected to that is this thought by her:  If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.  I'm grateful for the right sort of people I have to share my stories with.  Even when they're stories that don't paint me in the best light.  What would we do without the people that love us anyway?

The Truth According to Us by Annie Barrows ****

I loved this book!  It's by the woman who co-wrote The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society which I also loved.   This book was set in a small town in West Virginia during the Depression.  A high society girl, cut off by her parents, joins the Federal Writer's Project and heads to the town to write its history.  I loved the family she boarded with and all the characters.  I cried.  (Which is really not much of a recommendation because I cry easily, but still.)

Soulless by Gail Carriger **

I got this book from the library because it was highly recommended.  Then I looked at the cover, "a novel of vampires, werewolves, and parasols."  What?  Not my normal genre but it was highly recommended so I gave it a try.  The writing was witty and enjoyable.  The subject matter was sometimes interesting (Victorian English society) and sometimes just weird.  Also, sometimes I had to skim because it was dodgy.  I don't really recommend it but I did finish it, so that's something.

The Things We Do For Love by Kristin Hannah ***

Anything by Kristin Hannah is a sure bet for me.  This was a good book.  It's about all the things.  Sister relationships, marital relationships, a suffering motherless girl, forgiveness and acceptance and goodness.  I also love about her books that you think you know how it's going to turn out.  You think you know how it should turn out.  Then it is different than you expected and you're glad.

Good things

It's no way to live, just looking forward to the future.

Sometimes though, the future is what gets you through the present.

And good things are going to happen.

I'm excited for my trip with Emma.  I'm excited for summer.  I'm going to try to grow zucchini.  (Don't mention this if I fail at zucchini/the squirrels triumph.  Thank you in advance.)  I'm looking forward to sitting on the deck and watching the sunset while Mark does flips on the trampoline and Adam and I discuss the day.

I see adventures in our future.  I love it when we pile in the car and head out for whatever destination Adam's heart desires.  I like that we stop at Maverik first (Adventure's First Stop) and then we stop at a different Maverik along the way (because I inevitably need to use the bathroom) and then we stop at Maverik on the way home.  Because Maverik.

Braeden told us his probable release date from his mission.

I haven't made a paper chain yet, but I'm thinking about it.  I'm excited for the challenge of keeping that kid in milk.  It was the job I was born to do.

It's counter-intuitive because thinking of Emma going to college also makes my heart crack a little but I'm looking forward to outfitting her dorm room.  She's excited.  She's started pinning things.  Braeden will probably take whatever he grabs on the way out the door that day to college.  Emma's started a pinterest board.

I love both those kids.

I'm looking forward to Sunday dinners with my college kids.  It will be the highlight of my week.  I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas with all my kids.  I may or may not have gifts waiting in the wings for Braeden already.

Don't judge me.

Good things are going to happen.  And I'm happy about it.

Joy

Occasionally the world feels heavy.  It just does.  And usually, ironically, it's because I love people.

It seems like love shouldn't end up in sorrow but it does sometimes.  People make choices that break your heart.  People are thoughtless or selfish.  They're wrapped up in their own choices.  They mistakenly think they are beyond help.  They mistakenly think they aren't hurting anyone.

I had a dream early Sunday morning about someone I love who I haven't talked to in a long time.  We were sort of mad at each other in the dream and I was sad about the choices he's made that have wrecked his life.

Finally in the dream I said, "I really care about you."

His face softened and then I woke up.

I told Adam the dream.  I said, "I wanted to go back to sleep and see what would happen."

Yesterday Heather taught our YW lesson.  She hit it out of the ballpark.  When the next generation are in charge of the world and that includes people like Heather, let me tell you, the world will be in good hands.

She taught us about the Atonement of Jesus Christ which is the only source of peace in a fraught world.  She read us this from a talk by Elder Nelson:

Joy is powerful, and focusing on joy brings God’s power into our lives. As in all things, Jesus Christ is our ultimate exemplar, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.” Think of that! In order for Him to endure the most excruciating experience ever endured on earth, our Savior focused on joy!

And what was the joy that was set before Him? Surely it included the joy of cleansing, healing, and strengthening us; the joy of paying for the sins of all who would repent; the joy of making it possible for you and me to return home—clean and worthy—to live with our Heavenly Parents and families.

If we focus on the joy that will come to us, or to those we love, what can we endure that presently seems overwhelming, painful, scary, unfair, or simply impossible?

I don't always know how to do that.  I don't always know how to focus on joy when I'm faced with the "overwhelming, painful, scary, unfair, or simply impossible."  I really don't.

Last night, which didn't really help my mood when I already felt weighed down, we watched part of a documentary on D-day.  Emma and I are heading to the Normandy beaches and I wanted a refresher.  It was horrible.  So discouraging to watch wave after wave of American soldiers being mowed down on Omaha Beach.

I remembered the lesson, but where was the joy?

Then I realized, the joy, at least part of it, was the innocent people who were eventually freed from concentration camps.  The joy was freedom wrenched back out of the Nazi's hands and restored to people who had lost it.

I'll keep trying to find the joy.  Spring follows winter.