Resolve

Last week I suddenly was seized with an urge to take down my Christmas decorations.  For my entire life, I have taken down Christmas decorations on New Year's Day but you know how I get itchy for change...

And I also wanted to hang up the new curtains Adam bought me for Christmas.

I like them...a lot.

Here's the thing with me when I feel compelled to start moving furniture:  I need help from the brute squad.  They helped me move the bigger pieces of furniture around but then Emma didn't want to help anymore (since her friend Hannah was over).  I tried to make her feel guilty with a "fine, don't help."

(When will I learn that only works on Braeden?)

Braeden was the only one helping me because he's my stalwart mom pleasing oldest child.   I knew I shouldn't inflict my urgent need to change on everyone else but for all of Braeden's wholehearted help, he's as careful as a spooked colt.  I needed Emma to help me with the ornaments on the tree.

She and Hannah (sorry Hannah) were roped into removing red ornaments...and putting them into their specific little boxes.  No, not those boxes, these boxes...

Hannah said, "Wow.  You guys are really into organizing these ornaments."

(My role in life, that I had explained to Hannah earlier when I asked her to grab a corner of the love seat because we were moving it to a different room, is to make my children's friends happy that they have their own, more rational mothers.)

I love to organize things.  I love to think of clever little schemes to arrange things.  I love to come up with plans and goals and New Year's Resolutions.

It all seems so tidy and lovely.

(I am not so fabulous at keeping things organized or tidy or keeping New Year's Resolutions.)

I have read about one word New Year's Resolutions.  I've thought about what one word I would pick.

I would like to choose something lofty like "intentional" or "deliberate".  I aspire to a new level of being.  I want to be the type of person that rationally does the most important things and doesn't worry about lesser things.  I want to always make the best choices and never waste time.  I want to be in charge of my destiny.  I want to be the Louisville slugger and not the ball.

But.

Alas.

That doesn't leave much room for spontaneity.  Or slothfulness.  And sometimes you need a little dose of each.

I decided I wanted three spick and span little resolutions.  Here they are:

1) Learn to play Pachelbel's Canon in D on the piano.   (Braeden asked me if I wanted to memorize it too and I said "Sure, why not?" but I really meant to say, "I don't think so," because I don't think so.)

2) Send each one of my far away family members a birthday card.  I have them all organized in a little file.  I even picked out which cards to send to which niece.  I selected one with a lot of verve for Carolina because she is some-thing.

3) Keep the top of my dresser perfectly clean every livelong day.  (My bedroom is never perfectly clean because it's the least public + biggest room in my house.  This naturally results in it being the place to stash things.  No more! I say, no more!)

If I'm really being honest (and if you're still reading, to which I say thank you because this is getting wordy), what I'd love to resolve to do is to write my story.

I have a story in my head that I want to write but I am scared.  If it's still in my head, it has the potential to be an actual book that actual people may read someday.

If I write it, it may turn out to just be really stupid and no one would ever want to read it.

So I'm scared.

Here's my real and genuine New Year's Resolution:

Happy New Year!