Mama Grizzly: part 3

OK.  This is by far the worst one.  It still humiliates me to think about.  The other two can sort of be blamed on hormones.

This one is just me being irrational.

At the end of last school year, we got a nice letter in the mail informing us that Emma would be getting an award at the awards ceremony at her school.

We'd received the same letter when Braeden was in 8th grade.  We went to the awards ceremony and sat through a lifetime of boring-ness for his name to be mentioned.  (But unfortunately that didn't mean we didn't have to go for Emma too.)

I went to Emma's ceremony with Janet.  Our girls sat on one of the many chairs on the gym floor with the other kids and we sat in the bleachers.  It was long.  And boring.  Every time a teacher got up to give an award, it was not to Emma.  Soon all that was left was the National Junior Honors Society. Emma however, was not part of the National Junior Honors Society.  She could not be bothered to fill out the paperwork.  (Sometimes I wonder why my kids aren't more ambitious and then I remember who their mother is.  Oh.  OK.  Anyway.)

Since I knew Emma wasn't part of the National Junior Honor's Society, I was annoyed that we had come to the event for naught.  Worse, Emma seemed to sink lower in her chair the whole time.  In my mind I imagined her humiliation, and it made me mad.

At the very end, the principal told all the kids who'd received an award to stand up so we could clap for them one more time.  The several hundred kids all stood up, except Emma.   Something inside of me snapped.  I went from mildly annoyed to quite indignant.  Fine, waste my time.  Do NOT humiliate my daughter (says the Mama Grizzly with teeth bared). Freja, who was sitting next to Emma, grabbed her arm and had her stand up too but it was too late.  I had already ventured to the dark side.

I didn't stay by Janet's side.  (Why not?  She may have talked me down...)

I didn't call Adam who was out of town on a business trip.  (Why not?  He certainly would have talked me down...)

No.

I marched straight up to the principal.  I told her in no uncertain terms that I was NOT HAPPY.  And then, the worst happened.

I started to cry.  Even now I want to go back in time and gently lead my crazy self out of the crowded gym before I could mortify myself.

But no, I was crying.  To the principal because she didn't give my daughter an award?!?  It was the worst possible version of myself.  On display.

The next day, they called Emma into the office and gave her an apology and her award.

Later, Emma told me that she didn't really care that much.  She hadn't been embarrassed.  I think she could have lied to me and thrown herself down on the floor in despair, just to make me feel better.

I'm pretty sure I'm on some list.  I'm on the list of unbalanced women whose children get awards from now on whether they deserve them or not because they don't want the unbalanced women to fall apart in a public setting.

Also, when Mark goes to school there I'm going to get some dark sunglasses and possibly a fake mustache to wear.

I can't believe I just admitted all that.

I'll understand if you don't want to associate with me any longer...