Mama Grizzly: part 1

I have this problem and it's called temporary insanity.  It happens when one of my cubs appears to be wronged or in danger.  I am sure there is a certain amount of value to the instinct of a mother protecting her young.

I'm also pretty sure that I sometimes go too far.  I get a little crazier than is strictly necessary.  I don't do it on purpose.  I wish that I would act differently.  Perhaps the really unsettling part of it all is that it is completely contrary to my nature.  Sure I get cranky, but I rarely assert myself to strangers, particularly on my own behalf.  I don't like to display too much emotion in public.  I don't like to talk to strangers.  I would wander around a store looking for something for a long time before I would ask a store employee for help.  I am, at my core, shy.

So it's alarming when I have these out of body experiences that result in me acting in uninhibited ways to protect my young.

The first time it happened, we were living in Connecticut, in our student apartment.  We lived on the second floor and the apartments were in groupings of four with a shared front and back staircase and hallways shared between us.  Adam was gone somewhere for the evening and I was home with Braeden who was one year old.  I was also newly pregnant with Emma.

Our downstairs neighbor was, I think, from Pakistan.  I can't remember.  We weren't friends.  He was single and had little furniture so his footsteps would echo when he walked around late at night.  (Gosh, I miss apartment living!)  Also, he smoked.  He smoked really nasty unfiltered Pakistani cigarettes that smelled terrible.  If our windows were open, the smoke would drift in.  Even if our windows weren't open, the smoke would enter our apartment underneath our front door.  On this particular night, I could see the smoke entering my apartment.  It was that thick.  If I had been the only one home and not pregnant, I would have been annoyed.  I may have left the apartment.  I wouldn't have done what I did.

I scooped up Braeden and with him firmly planted on my hip, I marched downstairs.  Without pausing to think, "What are you doing Thelma?!?" I knocked boldly on his front door.

He answered, cigarette in hand, his black hair wild and his face unfriendly.  I proceeded to lecture him.  I railed against his smoking because I have a baby here Mr. Nasty Cigarettes plus I am pregnant so stop smoking!  OK, I don't think I said that exactly.  I can't remember what I said (because remember, I was having an out of body experience?) but I know that up to that point in my life, I had never ever done anything like that.

I wish I could say it never happened again...