Thursday, January 2, 2014

Small talk

Small talk with strangers is sort of painful for me.  That's all.  It's not you waiters and store clerks, it's me.

Why do waiters ask me if I've ever been to a certain restaurant before?  Just making conversation?  Is there something inherently tricky about eating there so they want to help prepare me if I'm a rookie?

Why (oh why?) do grocery store clerks ask me what my plans are for the rest of the day?  Do they sincerely want to know?  Should I link them to the calendar on my phone?  Adam gets a message on his phone when I schedule something on the calendar, would they also like to get a message?  Braeden said when they ask me my plans for the rest of the day, I should say, "I'm going to stay right here..."

Of course I'll never say that--and I'll also never find out the answers to any of these questions.

Because I really don't want to talk to them.

Adam is a different sort.

The other day we were in Pier 1, looking at the after-Christmas offerings.  Always at Pier 1 the store employees circle the store and ask you repeatedly if you have any questions.  I don't want to be the one to tell them, but Pier 1 is really not all that confusing.  There is stuff for sale, prices plainly marked and I think we're all clear on how the retail process works.

Yet still, they wonder if I have questions.

Adam and I were looking at napkins.  They were red, so they caught my eye.  A store employee approached us.  She asked, "Do you have any questions about the napkins?"

Without missing a beat and without cracking a smile, Adam said, "Yeah, how do you use them?"

She was speechless.  Her eyes widened.  I think it was startling that someone actually had a question.  Then Adam let her know that he was teasing her.

(Nobody else asked us if we had any questions for the rest of the shopping trip.)

We went to the grocery store and Adam asked the store clerk how his Christmas had been.

"You're part of the problem!" I said.  "Stop talking to people."

I know I'm the weird one.  People, in a civilized society, talk to each other.  I just need to keep Adam or Braeden or Mark with me.  They'll talk to anyone.  So I won't have to.


Anne said...

HAHA. This is so ME! I totally relate. It is why I like to have Brandon at my side whenever possible. He is much better at the small talk.

Olivia Cobian said...

This is hilarious!

Jennifer said...

This made me laugh. I love your blog.


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