When your son is a raccoon

A while ago, back in the old days (a month ago) when I was cub scout den leader, the Webelos den leader gave me the key to the scout closet because he was going to Hawaii with his wife.  (So he got Hawaii but I got the key to the scout closet so I think we were even.)

I used the key for scouts then put it in a cute little compartment in our van where I keep my mail key and mints for my children to pilfer. 

And I forgot all about it.

We had the pinewood derby, then a food drive so no den meetings for awhile.  Then we got a new ward, etc. etc.

Then he called and wanted the key back.

I said no problem and went to the cute little compartment in our van.

The key wasn't there.

Mark?

I should mention that there was a shiny little flashlight on the key ring and Mark is attracted to shiny objects much like a raccoon is.

Mark had no idea about the key.

I hunted all around, checking all my jacket pockets, my purse, any bags I may have taken to scouts.  Nothing.  I should also mention that unlike certain unnamed people (like Marianne) it makes me crazy when I lose something.  Even worse when it is someone else's something.

I talked to Adam.  He suggested maybe Mark found the flashlight when they took the van to father and son camp.  So I asked Mark again.

In addition to being a raccoon, Mark is a coyote.  He can sense danger and slink around it.  He said he remembered Braeden with the flashlight.

Braeden was at driver's ed so I couldn't hound him about the key.

I went into their room and started looking in their closet.  The same closet that would make a landfill seem hygienic and tidy.

Then I was doubly mad.  The key was gone and my boys' closet was a disaster.  Then, it must be said, I had a bit of a temper tantrum.  Adam found me flinging things out of the closet, yelling at Mark who was trying to dodge projectiles.  He loves to come home to such domestic harmony.  I think it makes that day at work feel like a refuge.

You're welcome, Adam.

Adam, being the level-headed and bigger-than-me person that he is, took me gently but firmly out of the closet and to my bedroom.  He told me to re-laaaaaax.

When I had both boys together, I sat them down and tried to get the story straight.  Who had seen the flashlight and key and when?  Mark kept sidestepping the story like a kid who is used to being in trouble.  (Could be because he often gets in trouble.)  I finally learned that Mark had asked Braeden for a flashlight and Braeden had told him to check the van.  (Braeden meant the wind-up emergency flashlight but Mark found the little shiny one on a key chain.)

And the rest is history.

History for the flashlight and key chain because raccoons are not well known for keeping track of things.

I have apologized and offered recompense anyway I know how to the good scout leader whose key I  lost.  In addition to being the type of husband that takes his wife to Hawaii, he is also very very kind.  He told me not to worry about it.  No big deal.

The upside?

The boys' closet got clean.  Something about their mom flinging the contents across the room got their attention.  They're a lot of things but stupid is not one of them.

May I suggest

Do you have cell phone cords tangled on your counter like I used to have?

It was driving me crazy because my kitchen counter space is very (very) limited.

I bought a little unfinished wooden birdhouse.  I decided to turn it into a cell phone charging station.  I just needed to make a hole in the back to feed the cords through then the cords could go out through the bird holes in the front and the cords wouldn't get tangled.

How to make the hole in the back?

I normally would call my dad but he is busy having fun with draft horses being a missionary in Nauvoo.  Instead I sent an email to the rest of my brain trust, my brothers.

How do I make a hole in this cheap wood taking into account my lack of tools, skills and patience?

Enoch and Ammon both responded with ideas.

Tabor did not.

I thought that was strange.  Either 1) he didn't care--which couldn't be true because I'm his favorite person in the world or 2) he didn't have an opinion--which couldn't be true because he's my sibling and we always have opinions and he's Tabor so he always always has an opinion or 3) he didn't have time--which couldn't be true.  (See number 1.)

When I am there in A FEW WEEKS (sorry to yell, I'm a little excited) we're going to have to have a talk about that guy's priorities.

Both Enoch and Ammon's ideas would have worked but seemed hard taking into account my lack of tools, skills and patience. 

Then I remembered this birdhouse which I bought because it was cute.  The bonus:  it had a little door in the back.

So I wrapped up the cords and bound them with a rubber band.

I fed them through the back door and then through the hole in front.

a snug little home for Pinkie Pie

Now the cell phones have a charming place to roost, the cords don't get tangled and we're all happy.

(Except why didn't Tabor answer me?)

Sigh

the drippy view out the school room window

You know I don't complain about anything, especially the weather.

(Are you laughing?  Because that was a little joke.)

On January 7, it was rainy and 46 degrees.  (Yes, I looked it up.)

Currently it is raining (pouring, in fact) and 49 degrees. 

We have come up with pithy and cute names for it around here.  Juneuary.  The June Gloom.  Whatever you call it, it's my least favorite month.  (Which I sort of resent because growing up, I think it was one of my very favorite months.  June in northeastern Nevada is a beautiful thing.)

Here?  No.

It is no wonder that I am so excited to shake the dust mildew off of this place and hit the road.

Eight more days.

(Stay tuned, when I'm in the Midwest, I will be complaining about heat and humidity.  Not that I complain.)

Books I Read in May 2012 (or didn't)

The Quilter's Kitchen by Jennifer Chiaverini

I didn't finish this book.  It just didn't hold my interest.  I've read another book by the same author that I think I remembered liking.  Not this one.

Day After Night by Anita Diamant

I also didn't finish this book.  When a book starts to feel like homework, I lose enthusiasm.  It is set in Israel after World War II.  I love historical novels and thought this looked good but maybe I just wasn't smart enough for this one.  I felt like there were things about the history of the time and things about Judaism that the author took for granted that her readers would know.  Not me.  Also, I couldn't keep all the names straight.

What can I say?  I'm shallow.

 Cakewalk by Kate Moses

I was determined to finish this book.  My lack of stick-to-it-ness was getting pathetic.  Meh.  It bored me.  I have sort of a love/hate relationship with memoirs.  I want to love them.  If they are not really really good, I don't.  This book sort of meandered and I didn't really get the point (I guess there doesn't always have to be a point) and she tried to tie it all in with cake and desserts but I just wasn't enjoying it that much and there are a lot of other good books in the world.

Emergence-Labeled Autistic by Temple Grandin

This one was for book club and guess what?  I didn't finish it.  It's really interesting and I wanted to read more but I was too busy and reading was not a luxury I had.

Reading books in May?  Not my best month.

5th Ave Awards

Last night we went to the 5th Avenue Theater in Seattle for the awards for high school musicals. 

Wow. 

Our school was one of 93 schools nominated for an award.  We were nominated for 11 awards, which was sort of thrilling.   Because we were one of the 8 schools nominated for best overall musical, they got to perform on the 5th Ave stage, in front of thousands.

My baby boy.  On that stage.  It took my breath away.  It is a good thing that I am distracted by too many other things.  I totally understand why there is such a thing as horrible stage mothers, and I could have the potential to become one.  It is an indescribable rush to watch my boy perform.  All the other kids in the cast as well.  I think they are all pretty fabulous.

Here's the picture I snapped with my phone:

Ummmm.  Adam will not be pleased with the quality of picture I am posting here.  It's the best I could do.  Braeden is in the back on the left side. 

I sat next to Janet in the theater, which was crackling with energy.  Whenever Glacier Peak was up for an award, we clasped our hands and held our breath...and didn't win.  Finally Mr. Oke, the intrepid and talented director, won!  Indicative of his talent and attention to detail, his acceptance speech for best director was given in Seuss-ian rhyme.

We all thought we were robbed when we didn't win overall best musical.  We may, of course, have been a little biased and heavily invested in our own production...

It was a magnificent night though and fun to be involved in something very positive that celebrated the great accomplishment and hard work of some brilliant kids.

The drive home was enjoyable too.  I took home Braeden and two of his fellow freshmen friends.  Also, a patient and long suffering senior who lives on my street.  (Sorry Max.  I recognize your tolerance for those wacky boys.)

As the hour waned, their conversation declined.  They started talking about their funerals.  Braeden wanted Ethan and Jadon to plan his and he wanted it full of jokes.  He said, "I want a 21 gun salute with clown guns that have a sign that says "bang".

source

Ethan said Jadon could deliver the eulogy and he would climb in the casket with Braeden and jump out at a key point and say, "Here lies a good man!"

(Again, I feel like I have to apologize to Max.)

Stress Lessons

Being the primary president completely threw me for a loop.  I have been, in the biggest understatement of the year, stressed.

Oh yes.

But as I look back on the past little while, I can see that there are lessons to be learned.

1) Be supportive even when you are living with a raving lunatic.

Adam and our children have taught me this over and over.  And over.  They patiently ride out the time(s) when I am freaking out.  They aren't phased by tears or irrationality.  These are priceless skills to have in family members.  The first Sunday I told Braeden and Emma to come running if they heard me yelling for help from the general direction of the primary room.  They solemnly promised they would.  If they rolled their eyes, they didn't let me see it.

2) The upside of feeling overwhelmed is sharpened priorities (and limits on your narcissism).

Typically going to a brand new ward when I knew only a small percentage of the people, I think I may have wondered what to wear.  I may have felt a little self conscious and hoped the people I didn't know would like me.  I didn't even think about it.  I just tried to survive.  Also, I didn't have time to obsess about what my writing group thought about the chapters I'd sent them to read.  No time to worry about it.  (And that's something because I can obsess.  Believe me.)

3) Don't underestimate the impact of a kind word.

Two different women that I don't know, primary teachers, told me on the phone that they have been in my position before.  They told me I could do it.  They told me it would get easier.  One of them told me she was praying for me.  Sometimes kindnesses are just kindnesses and I'm grateful.  But sometimes, they are lifelines.  You never know.  So I want to be a little kinder.  Just in case someone needs a lifeline.

4)  Pray

Sometime prayers are answered quickly.  Sometimes they aren't.  But I know they're answered.  I know too much and have felt too much to deny that.

So I'm going to try to be supportive of other people when they need it (or even when I don't know how much they need it).  I'm going to try to keep important things on the top of my priority list.

And I'm going to keep praying.

Oh yes.

May I suggest

There are some recipes that are quick and easy to prepare.

There are some recipes that are something you can get ready in minutes when you are squeezing dinner in with superhuman strength.

There are some recipes that everyone in your family loves and is excited when they find out what's for dinner.

There are some recipes that are all three.

(I love those recipes.)

This is incredibly simple.  It is found here.  (I provide the link because as Jill...and Janet... can attest, my transference of recipes can be a little dodgy.)

I don't think even I can mess this up though.

Put a pork roast or pork tenderloin (about 2 1/2 pounds) in your slow cooker along with 1 cup of water.  Cook on high for 3 hours or low for 5 hours.  Remove the pork from the slow cooker and shred it with forks.  (The tenderloin is easier to shred but usually costs more so find it on sale.)  Add barbecue sauce--Sweet Baby Ray's.  Is there any other kind?  I just keep adding and mixing it until I think it's enough.  But I'm really exact like that.  Then I mix up a packaged cole slaw mix.  (You can make your own if you want.  I applaud you.)  Serve on toasted buns.

And be happy, because it is good stuff.