Grateful Friday

When I was visiting teaching in October, the message was "Enfolding with Love those Who Stray."  My companion was giving the message.  She said to me, "You don't know anything about this with your perfect little family, but maybe you will someday."

What?!? (And also that sounded a little ominous.)

Whenever you think someone has a perfect family (no matter the size), you just don't know them well enough.

Today I'm grateful for my inner circle, the people that do know.

Yesterday I had a "playdate" with Janet.  That is code for a phone conversation that is 2 + hours.  We need to schedule it because we need that much time because we need to talk about all the things.

And all the things are our not perfect families.

It's so reassuring to have people you can talk to who you don't give the pat answers to.  How's your missionary?  Great!  How are your children?  SO happy! How are your college kids?  Fabulous!  

It's nice sometimes to give more real answers and to receive more real answers in return.

Marianne called while I was on the phone so I called her back later.

We continued the conversation.  We confided worries and not just worries about our people, worries about ourselves.  Am I doing the right thing?  What is the right thing?  Where is that fine line between doing our best to be helpful and doing too much to be enabling?  Basically we don't want to raise spoiled brats but where's the handbook? Where is the set of instructions?  Who can tell us whether or not we are really messing this whole thing up?

The rules keep changing with each different child and each phase of life but we keep slogging along.  We try to make the right choice when it is before us.

And it is so very wonderful to have people that give perspective and encouragement.

(And my number one provider of perspective and encouragement is Adam.  I'm so grateful for that guy.  Sometimes we look at each other mystified about how to proceed, but sometimes, rarely, we look at each other and think, well that worked!  It gives us the courage to keep trying.)