Leave it to my sisters

 Tuesday I got my hair chopped.  I don't have a picture and I'm comfortably tucked in with a blanket so a picture isn't forthcoming. 

But it's short.  

Every time I had chemo, a week later I would lose handfuls of hair.  All those handfuls added up to really thin hair.  Joelyn and I discussed and I showed her a picture on my phone.  I asked her, "Will I look like a Q-tip?"  (My fear with a circle of curls around my head.)

She said, "No.  Maybe if we dyed your hair platinum blonde...."

It wasn't exactly reassuring, but I went ahead with it.

My plan when I got home from my hair appointment was to get ready to go.  I was exhausted so I did nothing.  My body doesn't always cooperate with my plans, which is rude of it.

Yesterday I started with my typed up two page, with columns, list of everything that needed to be done before we left.  We were bringing the round of things we bring every time we come--bedding and towels, food--plus things for the funeral--a lace tablecloth, a guest book, a good pen.  We needed specific food--snacks for QE, snacks to share with the larger family, gluten free things, all the things.

I also needed to print the eulogy, pack my clothes, tidy up the house, do something about my shoes that were spilling everywhere in our mudroom.  (The solution was to move the winter shoes to the garage since I've brought so many summer shoes in from the garage.)

Things like that.

The problem was, I kept needing to sit and rest.  I feel fine, then I get tired, then I get dizzy.  Mark calls it "our vertigo" like Buster from Arrested Development.

I have my Lucille Austero moments.

Mark is very kind.  He helps me do whatever I'm doing and tells me to sit down and drink water.  

Adam loaded the car like the Tetris wizard he is.  I wanted to bring a wooden bookshelf and he laid it down and filled the shelves with all the things.

We finally hit the road and enjoyed our time together, like we always do.  We talked a lot and listened a bit to our latest podcast.  

I was happy to get to our little house in Starr Valley.  Adam brought in loads from the car with our wagon and I unloaded and vacuumed flies (there weren't many since we were just here).  We got everything sorted and I even cleaned the bathrooms.  I love how easy it is to clean this small, sparsely furnished house.  

In the late afternoon, we went to visit my dad.  I started crying when we drove up the lane.  It's so strange that my mom isn't there.  I had a book she had lent me.  I took it upstairs and put it on a shelf.  

It was good to see my dad.  I can tell how sad he is, but I can also tell how strong he is.  When my mom was near the very end, a hospice worker told him she would prepare him.  He said, "I've been preparing for this all my life."  And he has been.  He knows what he believes and he knows in Whom he trusts.  My dad knows that Heavenly Father lives.  He knows Jesus is the Christ.  He knows temple covenants bind us together.  All those truths buoy all of us up.

We visited awhile then went over to Olivia's for a birthday party for Adam and me.

Taught by our mother, my sisters knew exactly how to celebrate my birthday.  It was so good to see Marianne and Robert!  I've missed them.  They were a little jet-lagged, but their normal cheerful selves.  

Edgar made tostadas that were delicious like everything Edgar ever makes.  We enjoyed being together.  My sisters have a practice of having everyone say something nice about the person who is being celebrated.  Olivia called Ammon and Omar back into the room.  We said, "They don't have to say anything nice about us."

Olivia said, "They want to."

I watched the two teenagers trudge dutifully back into the room and I really doubted she was correct, but they rose to the challenge and each said kind things about us.  

Marianne had made a cake; there were candles to blow out and they sang to us.  It made me happy.  Marianne had given me a birthday gift before she went to Ghana, but Olivia had a gift for me (and she tossed a beribboned package of beef jerky to Adam, which made him happy too).

It was a nice celebration.

Today I'm looking forward to mopping the floor with my new mop vacuum that, if you believe the internet, is going to change everything about my life.  I'm going to walk with my sisters and later all of my siblings and spouses, except Tabor and Katie, who won't be here yet, and my dad are going to the Elko temple together.  That will be wonderful.

I wish a lot of things were different, but I know enough to know I have a lot to be grateful for.