Weekend

 Saturday the reality hit that just because my chemo is over and I was all ready to just be good and done with it, it is not done with me.

Adam and I went to clean the church in the morning and I was vacuuming the chapel and just got exhausted.  I went and sat down in the bishop's office until I felt less dizzy.

I recovered after we got home and then I repotted the plants that I got from Bonneville.  It was six plants all in the same beautiful basket and they looked really pretty together, but they have different light and water needs so I put them in individual pots.

Again, exhausted.  

It was starting to be a pattern.

We went to La Casa Del Tamal in downtown Salt Lake for a birthday lunch with our kids.  Adam paid and Emma said, "That is a pretty good deal for your birthday."  

We enjoyed our kids and felt like it was a good deal too.

Also, those shrimp tacos, I could rhapsodize about them.

When we were walking back to the parking garage, Braeden called because we had wanted to FaceTime with them.  I said, "Well, your dad and I are separating...."

Braeden said, "Well, I guess you had a good run...."

I said, "No, I mean he and Mark are going to Winco and Emma and I are going to a vintage shop."

Braeden said, "I think Dad did better in the divorce settlement."

But Emma and I had a great time.  We went to two stores that she knew about and I loved them and got (you'll never guess) so tired.  I bought some pretty things and Emma bought an amethyst necklace and we felt pretty accomplished.  I love being with my girl.  

After we joined back up with Adam and Mark, I texted Braeden that we had reconciled.  Also, I napped in the car on the drive home and was basically worthless the rest of the day.  

Guess what I need and I don't have?  Patience.

We did get to FaceTime with our favorite little Californian family later though, so that was happy.

Over the weekend I continued to be surprised and not surprised by people reaching out to me about my mother.  It reaffirms to me that people are so good and that so was my mother because of the kind things they say about her.

Emma came over and wanted to practice the song she and her brothers and several cousins are singing for the funeral.  She asked me to sing the soprano part and I started crying.  She chided me, "If you cry, I'll cry!"

Mark said, "You're going to go blind!"

(Which isn't super helpful, but crying makes my herpes simplex in my eye worse and it can cause blindness.  Still doesn't help dry up tears....)

I normally don't cry when I sing, but the song that is going to be sung at my mother's funeral is not normal.

After Adam got home we played Qwixx and ate pulled pork.  Miriam had brought it over on Friday.  It was vacuum sealed and I put it in the freezer and per her instructions, heated it in a pot of boiling water.  Perfect.  She also gave me a bottle of their amazing barbecue sauce.  Their pulled pork is the best I've ever had.  

Later, Adam and I took a walk along the Murdock Canal trail.  It was a beautiful night.  All the trees are blooming and there is an alarmingly small amount of snow on the mountain.  The winter that wasn't.  

Today is our birthday.  My mom won't sing to me for the first time in my life.  We have Big Exciting Plans.  We're going to Costco to buy the stuff we want to take to Starr Valley later this week....