I can't be something I'm not

A few years ago Olivia gave me some fleece scraps leftover from something.  They were Seahawks patterned so she thought of us.

I stashed them in the closet in my office until I would be quarantined and ready to tackle some projects.  (Or something like that.)

I can't be something I'm not, so I started in with abandon.  I had no idea how much fleece there was--a bagful?  I started cutting the strips into more or less the same widths then I started sewing them together in longer strips.  It seemed like it wouldn't be enough for an entire blanket so I found a small green fleece blanket that we'd had forever and I cut it into strips and sewed them along with the Seahawks fleece.  It was in no way symmetrical.

Adam said it was fine.  He said it wouldn't matter in its capacity as a blanket to snuggle under while watching TV.  He understands who I am.

Braeden and Anna came over and Braeden said, "Hey, that's my green blanket."

Oops.

So then I decided to give the finished product to Braeden.  Maybe that would absolve me from cutting his green blanket into strips (crooked strips).

I sewed a back onto the blanket.  The fabric for the back (a navy blue flat sheet from Target) is not stretchy and the fleece definitely is.  So now in addition to not being symmetrical, the poor blanket doesn't lay flat.

It's fine.  No one around here expects anything close to perfection from me.

Except then I started thinking more about giving the blanket to Braeden (and Anna).  Anna's mom, Amy, can actually sew.  She made Anna a gorgeous denim picnic blanket for a bridal shower gift.  It was both symmetrical and laid flat.  I started up an inferiority complex as I was finishing up the blanket, sewing not straight lines through it to make the misshapen thing less shifty.

I decided to give it to Braeden anyway.  He can snuggle under it and watch a Seahawks game some day and think about his mother who commandeered his blanket and made it into a wonky creation but loves him all the same.

The finished product in all its glory:

I apologize to my mom who tried to teach me to sew.

Good things come to an end

Emma and Mark are both working at the theater again.  That's the good news.  The bad news is dinner time.

Yesterday Emma worked from 2:00-6:30 in the box office and Mark worked starting at 6:00.

At lunch we talked about what time dinner would be.  Emma said, "I guess you have decide which child you like more."

Here's what I liked more: when everyone was home all the time.  I know, it couldn't last and everyone is glad they're back at work.

Still.

Goals

Mark in 2010, using my sunglasses to practice the piano because of the sunlight coming in the window.

All the kids took piano lessons when they were little.  Mark hated piano lessons.  And since he was my youngest and I'd fought all the battles already, I let him quit.  I didn't want to die on that hill.

This summer he has suddenly developed an interest in playing the piano.  He printed some sheet music (that has 4 flats so he's not sticking to anything simple).  He's relying on his native ability to play by ear and a little help from Emma and he is figuring it out.

I asked him (mistakenly, when will I learn?) if he wished he hadn't quit piano lessons.  He said, "No."

Silly me thinking he would change his stubborn stance.

In an effort to renew our efforts in our church's Child and Youth program, we met Sunday afternoon and talked about goals.  Everyone talked about their goals.  Emma is finally feeling a little lonely.  Three months into quarantine wears down even the most introverted I guess.  One of her goals was to spend more time with her brothers.  One of Mark's goals was to get better on the piano.

Yesterday, on my morning walk, inspiration struck.  Emma could teach Mark piano lessons and that would help both of them with their goals.  As an added benefit, I would pay Emma (whose employment opportunities are diminished) for her time.

I told Adam my idea and I said, "So I guess everyone wins but us, because we have to pay."

He said, "But we get to hear Mark play the piano."

Yesterday afternoon, Emma was sitting next to Mark and Mark was playing scales.  Willingly.

So everyone does win.

Adam

We went to Salt Lake City to finalize our flooring choice.  (Although Adam was just overwhelmed by all the choices and said, "I trust you.")

He usually trusts me, but sometimes he questions me.

He asked, "So why are we getting rid of carpet, getting wood floor, and then covering it with rugs?"

I said, "Stay in your lane, bro."

That is a good all purpose response when I don't really have a good explanation.

I told him he'd like it though.

I'm not sure why I have so much ill-founded confidence about my decorating decisions, but I kind of do.  There's a lot of "trust me" and "you'll see" involved.  He just lets me because 1) he doesn't care that much and 2) he doesn't really want to be bothered.

When we were driving, Adam told me about his latest reading.  He gets interested in a topic and dives deep.  He said, "Tell me if I'm talking about qualified immunity too much."

He doesn't talk about it too much, but I have to pay attention if I'm going to follow what he says.

He talks about different law cases and different constitutional amendments and I say, "Wait, which one is that?" because I memorized the amendments for a test in high school, but I surely don't remember them now.

He told me about an article he read that he found in the footnotes of a Supreme Court decision.

I said, "How are we the same species?"

Once when we were dating and both doing our homework, he was reading all the footnotes and I said, "You know you don't have to read all the footnotes, right?"

He looked at me like I had said, "You know you don't have to be honest, right?"

He said, "That's where all the good stuff is."

I skim when I read and am bossy about decorating.  He reads the footnotes and then he reads articles mentioned in the footnotes.

We're different, but it works.

We know how to get along.  At a drive thru, I told Adam I didn't want a drink.  He ordered a soda, looked over at me and said, "Yeah, make it a large."

I said, "Did you order a large because you know I'm going to drink some of it?"

He said, "Yes."

It works.

Grateful Friday

I just love being around these two.  They have their own sibling language it seems (or at least I don't know what they're talking about 25% of the time).  They laugh a lot--often at something one of them is showing the other one on their phone) and are excited to see each other and just quietly look out for each other.  I'm grateful to have them.

I'm grateful for their brother too.  Braeden called me the other morning while I was taking my walk.  It was nice to have him along for my walk.  We talked about all the things and a few times in the conversation, I thought, "This kid is smart."

I'm grateful my mom bought a new scanner and has undertaken the project of scanning photos and putting them on Family Search.  She sent us this photo of my dad:

I love it because I can remember it.  Those horses are Betty and Billy and they were these gentle and super strong giants.  My dad entered them in a pulling contest at the fair and it was exciting for me as a little girl.

I also love if you zoom in, my uncle Demar is one of the guys standing at the fence and I love the look of joy on his face as he is watching his little brother.

My mom found out you can't put pictures of people kissing on Family Search.  So she took this racy picture down.

It is a picture of my great-grandparents.  He died long before I was born, but she was my Grandma with the Brown Eyes.  She would tell me to take care of her brown eyes and I firmly believed that I had brown eyes because of her.  She was a storyteller and had a sparkling personality.  I like to think of her in heaven surrounded by people she loves.  I hope she and my great grandpa are kissing.

I'm grateful for families and history.

I'm also grateful for Nola.  She came over again yesterday like any good neighbor for another flooring consult and now I actually do know what I'm going to decide.  No duct tape involved.

That's a good feeling.

I'm grateful for my job.  I miss it.  I know that teachers are supposed to relish summer and having a break but I'm just ready to go back.

Maybe it's because the school year was cut short, I don't know.

I was at the school yesterday, dropping some stuff off and picking some stuff up and talking to a fifth grade teacher about magnets.  I truly love that place.

I'm grateful my kids are back to work.  They both are back at the theater and it makes them happy.  We are dipping our toes in going back to normal.  Kind of normal.  Not really normal, but closer.

I figured it out!

I keep bringing home flooring samples and puzzling over them and asking everyone's opinion.

Emma said, "Are you just going to get enough samples that you can make a new floor?"

Mark started singing, "I got it one piece at a time, and it didn't cost me a dime."

So, that's the new solution.  I will attach all these samples together.  Duct tape?

It's a relief to have it decided.

Mark

Mark told me yesterday that today is his half birthday.  (We're still doing that apparently.)  I said, "Is it?"

He said yes.

I said, "So what do you want to do?"

He said, "Well, get dinner somewhere..."  (He always wants to get dinner somewhere.) "...and watch a movie."

He had the movie all decided but I can't remember the name.  I did tell him it didn't grammatically make sense as a title and he said, "Who are you to say what is or isn't grammatically correct?"

I said, "I'm a teacher."

He went on to describe the movie and it is a suspenseful sci-fi movie so I will definitely have a book to read on the sly, just in case.

And he doesn't read my blog so he'll never know.

Also, he asked me yesterday if I've been writing my blog.  I said yes and he said one of his great accomplishments in life is that I write a blog.  (When I stopped writing regularly because my world tilted when I became a teacher, Mark encouraged me to get back to writing.)

He checks up on me, but he doesn't read it.

He already got his half birthday gift a few weeks ago.  It was a wall hanging for his bedroom that he had to have.  And he remembered that his half birthday would be an opportunity to get some money out of me.

There is one thing about Mark that you should know.

He keeps me on my toes.

This picture was taken 9 years ago but the attitude is definitely still the same.  He thinks he's in charge and he always has.

When he's not being a little tyrant, he is definitely one of my favorite people though.

Yesterday we went on a flooring sample expedition to Salt Lake City.  He fed me all his strong opinions about politics and flooring.  He went inside and bought me a soda at Maverik while I filled the car with gas.  He said, "I hope I got the right amount of ice."  He did.  I told him about the Seinfeld episode we watched last night and he laughed a satisfying amount for the storyteller.  He told me about what he is and isn't looking forward to in his senior year.  He found all the good music to listen to and he told me he loves me.

Ever since he was a little kid, he just randomly tells me he loves me.

I love him too.