Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Conflicted

Yesterday someone asked me if I was excited about school starting.

My answer used to be an unequivocal yes.  School with its newly sharpened pencils and stack of new books and fresh start was exciting. That was before "it" happened.  And by "it" I mean my kids going to school. 

I didn't know how to answer which is kind of stupid because it's not a person that I'm really close to and I don't think she really cared how I felt but was just making conversation.  I murmured a quick noncommittal answer.  But am I excited for school to start?

Yes!

-I won't have to wash swimsuits and towels every day.

-I am looking forward to Mark's new curriculum.

-Autumn is maybe my favorite season. (It's at least in the top four.)

-I will get lots of time with Mark.  I have missed him this summer.  My attention is diluted by Braeden and Emma and Mark's attention is diluted by his friends.  Even though a good 30% of our time together each day consists of him telling me how much he hates school, I love spending my days with him.  I love snuggling under a blanket and reading to him.  When I see the shelf full of books we're going to read together next school year, I get positively giddy.

No!

-I will have to pack lunches.  Packing lunches saps the joy out of life.

-I will have to get up earlier.  Getting up early saps the joy out of life.

-I will miss Braeden and Emma.  I won't have them here for lunch.  Not spending my days with them saps the joy out of life.

-Summer is maybe my favorite season.  (It's at least in the top four.)

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I am either quoting Ecclesiastes or Turn! Turn! Turn! (C'mon, you know the song.  Didn't your mom ever sing '60s music to you?)

2 comments:

Olivia Cobian said...

It's good to have mixed emotions about something that's coming regardless.

Marianne said...

I know that turn, turn song!

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