Sometimes I seem to have this out of body experience where my sense of wisdom flees and I'm left with...I don't know...ill-advised nonsense? Almost always my children are involved.
Last weekend I went to the GPHS parent organization auction. I went to help. I wasn't going to buy anything. That was the last thing on my mind. I was going to get in, provide a little help and get out.
I checked in as a volunteer and they asked me if I wanted a paddle to bid. I said, "No, thank you."
They said, "It's free since you are volunteering." (It cost $55 to go to the auction otherwise.)
I said, "That's OK."
Then I was in the silent auction room, my designated spot to help. I started looking at the offerings. I saw a senior portrait package by a photographer I already know I like at a greatly reduced rate. I ignored the voice inside of me protesting that if I bought a senior portrait package I may actually have a senior next year and I marched back out to the "bankers." I said, "Yeah, I'll take a paddle."
They assigned me a number and took my credit card info "in case I bought anything." (Famous. Last. Words.)
I put my number down on the portrait package bid. Then I bid on a few other items too. Why not? I lost the other two bids and wisely didn't bid any higher and then I ended up "winning" the portrait package. (When you spend an evening equating winning with buying, you're bound for trouble.) A few of my friends hugged me like I was a conquering hero. Also, adding to the euphoria, I was wearing this shirt and people--even random people I didn't know--kept telling me how great the shirt was (granted there was a lot of drinking going on). "Winning" auctions and compliments, that's heady stuff.
That's when I got an idea.
The drama booster club was auctioning a walk on role for the play. I considered bidding on it for Emma. It seemed like a marvelous idea.
Then I felt a few doubts. Was it a marvelous idea? Would Emma be embarrassed if she got a part because her mom purchased it for her?
On the other hand, it was money going to a good cause...
On the other hand, what if Emma really didn't want to do it?
On the other hand, what if she was thrilled by the idea? What if it was a lot of fun?
(Yes, I realize that's a lot of hands.)
Stephanie suggested I call Emma and ask her. The advice had merit. What if I didn't end up getting it though? If I were outbid? Sorry Emma. You didn't get in the play. Twice.
I called Adam instead, who was off gallivanting around town with the two youngest children in my absence. He thought it was a great idea. I asked him what my spending limit should be.
He said, "Whatever you feel comfortable with."
Turns out we should have clarified a little on that point.
I waited expectantly during the auction for item 17 which was the walk on role. Lisa, my drama booster club co-president, was very supportive and excited for me to win the bid for Emma. She kept encouraging me. Looking back, it's possible she was excited about the bid going high...
So the bidding started and that's when my mind checked out. Stephanie and Brent were at a table partway across the room. Brent said later that I needed to learn how to bid. Stephanie told me that she was trying to get my attention to help me not bid up so high each time. As for me, my mind had completely checked out so I just bid.
I was bidding against Braeden's history teacher. How dare he try to take away this from my little girl? (Note to history teachers everywhere--don't get in the way of mothers.)
So I "won."
I spent more money than I usually spend on Emma's birthday and Christmas presents combined.
I went home euphoric and excited to tell the news and slightly worried. I guess the best way to characterize Emma's response is to say she was stunned. She just stared at me. She asked me how much I spent. Under no circumstances will I tell my children how much I spent. I asked, "Are you excited?!?!"
I kept repeating the question in sort of a manic way for the rest of the evening. Whether she was excited or not or just wanted me to stop asking her, she finally said she was. She said that she was afraid people were going to judge her. She said she was a little embarrassed. She (finally) said she thought it would be fun.
And I hope it will be.
You have no idea how much I hope it will be.