Memorial Day

We left home at 9:00 AM and got home at 9:45 PM.

It was a whole day!

We first went to Walmart because I had been tasked by my mother to buy ten mums.  It was very stressful for a few minutes because I couldn't find any and I thought I was going to be letting down both my mom and all our kindred dead, but I finally found some in the produce section!

We went to four cemeteries.  Marianne wanted me to record on my blog the generations of graves we visited.  Who am I to argue with my sister?

Counting seeing Grandma and Grandpa Dahl in Starr Valley on Saturday, we saw both sets of grandparents' graves.

We saw all four sets of great grandparents' graves.

We saw 6 out of the 8 sets of great great grandparents' graves.

We saw 3 out of the 16 sets of great great great grandparents' graves.

We saw one great great great great grandmother's grave.

I think if we apply ourselves, we could pretty easily see even more.  Our family was mostly pioneers who moved to Utah and stayed put.

Memorial Day will always be about my grandma.  

It was because of her and the tradition she inherited and passed down, we spend Memorial Day in cemeteries.  We tell and retell stories.  We fix it all in our minds again, the relationships between everyone.  We tell our children so they will also know.  We take a picture by the cannon.

Azure, Mason, Desi (it was her birthday so we sang to her several times--and not all that well each time), Mark, Emma, Lucette, Marcos, Omar, Liberty, Nikki, Carolina, Cormac, Ammon, Olivia and Ruben

Marianne and I maintained that our generation isn't in the cannon picture, but Olivia said we were.  I think we sometimes are, but I'm not a fan of pictures so I could wholeheartedly enforce the rule on myself.  I'm not supposed to be in the picture.

Here's who was there at the Murray Cemetery:

We also went to the West Jordan cemetery where we found some great great grandparents for the first time.  We went to the Sandy cemetery and the Crescent cemetery and I love it all.

I know there were a lot more pictures, but Olivia hasn't posted her blog yet, so I can't steal any of hers....

It was particularly nice to spend the day with these two.

My grandma used to buy us all lunch at Golden Corral after the cemeteries.  This time my parents did.  My mom said, "No one really likes it all that much, but at least we can all eat at the same time."

No one goes to Golden Corral for the fine dining, but it is always a good time and I love being together.

After that we went to Saratoga Springs to the temple open house.  It is beautiful and more colorful than most temples I've been in.  I loved the stained glass windows that had lake and reed and mountain and sky motifs incorporated into them.

Most of these people are tall anyway, but we have a whole El Greco elongated thing going on.

After the temple, we went to my grandma's (we traversed that valley, let me tell you!) and helped load up some final things.  Two of my cousins and their wives were there.  They are doing some renovations to prepare the house for my uncle Richard and aunt Launa to live there.

Carolee, my cousin Brice's wife, said to me, "When I was cutting up the carpet and taking down the curtains, I was just praying that Grandma wouldn't be mad at me."

I said I didn't think she would.  I think she would be thrilled to have the house continue to be loved and used.  And Adam pointed out, "She loved new things."

It amounts to the house feeling less and less like my grandma's house and it's a good thing I have her in my heart.  Forever.

From there we went to Adam's cousin Pam's house in Herriman.  His other cousin Kara was there too along with Pam's husband, Shane, son, Bridger, and mom, Jeri.  We ate good food and talked for hours under the grape arbor in their lovely backyard. 

I'm grateful for family and for traditions that remind me of my place in the world.  I'm grateful for those who went before me and for our children and darling QE who follow behind.

Being in the temple together on a day when I had family so much in my mind was particularly meaningful.  I'm grateful for covenants that bind us together.  Forever.

Weekend

About a week ago, we had a plumber at our house in Nevada and my dad went too, because my dad is our very helpful patron saint.  There was a mouse in a trap and it is warmer so it was...gross.

It upped the ante on us wanting to fill any gaps with steel wool that we could under the house.  (I say we, but I wasn't the one that was going to crawl under the house if you must know.)

I talked to my mom on the way to school on Friday and she said our grass was growing.  Adam loves to mow, so I texted him and let him know about the grass.

Then this happened:

I'm a planner except for when Adam dissuades me into something spontaneous.

I went through all the last day of school-ness.  I hugged and was hugged.  I signed yearbooks.  I told them to have a wonderful summer and to come back and see me next year.  I posed for pictures when moms came and wanted to take a picture of me with their child. One mom told me that her son said I was his favorite teacher ever.  He hasn't had that many yet, but it still made me feel happy.

At noon we had a faculty party where we honored the people who were leaving and ate good food and enjoyed each other.  Times like that I feel so grateful to be a teacher at that school.

I stopped by the grocery store for a few things and went home and packed a backpack because we have lots of stuff in Nevada already.  When Adam got home, he put a few things together and we hit the road.

(We stopped at Home Depot for steel wool and screen replacement materials, then we hit the road.)

The lilacs were in bloom!  Lilacs have always reminded me of these lilacs and my grandma.

The yellow roses are my hands down favorite and they have fat buds on them. They bloom in June!

Saturday, Adam mowed pretty much all day.  The battery would die and he would go charge it up and then do something else.  As soon as it was charged, he was back to mowing.  I asked him, "Are you going to mow all 15 acres?!?"

He said no, but that man loves to mow.

We went to the Starr Valley cemetery and met my parents and Olivia and Edgar and Marianne and Robert (and Omar and Carolina) there.  We put lilacs on my grandparents' graves and also on my cousin Amanda's grave.  She died a few months before I was born.  

Marianne, Edgar, Olivia, Robert, Omar, Adam, Me, my parents (Carolina wasn't there yet when we took this picture)

My parents took a horse and buggy to the cemetery--like you do.  Alazon was spooked by something on the way and my mom said she almost fell out.  I think they need seatbelts!  Also Alazon knows how to pose for the camera.

It was such a lovely and fragrant morning!  I stood on the front porch with my Merlin app, that identifies birdsong, and this is what it recorded in two minutes!  

It is such a little slice of paradise and I'm grateful every time I get to spend time there.

I swept and mopped and cleaned bathrooms.  They aren't dirty from people, but from dirt and dust.  Happily it is a pretty small and sparsely furnished house so cleaning doesn't take too long.

We invited my parents to join us for lunch and then I went over in the afternoon and helped my mom with the Herculean task she is almost done working on, sorting through my grandma's stuff.  It has ignited a desire in her to get rid of some of her stuff too.  I was happy to spend some time with her.  I was looking through some buttons that had been my great-grandma Wood's.  (Is there anything better than old buttons?) and I came across several of these:

I googled it to see what it said and it is apparently a Hessian soldier button.  The words are Latin and mean God is our hope.  

Adam had bent the blade on his mower while mowing in the orchard, so my dad straightened it out and he was back in business.  I've never known someone to bring something to my dad's shop that he couldn't fix.

We had everyone over for visiting in the evening.  We now have furniture!  It's from my Grandma Jaynes' house.  

I guess you could say I owe a lot to my grandparents.

My mom had three cookbooks to give us.  There was one from the Wells Ward and it was a cookbook we grew up using.  There was one from the Starr Progressive Club and we all already had it.  There was one from the Bennion 11th ward (my grandma's ward at some time) that none of us knew anything about.  We all wanted the Wells Ward one.  Also, my mom brought a gorgeous red coat she was giving away.  We drew for the books and Marianne won the Wells Ward book.  I got the Starr Progressive Club book so guess what Emma is getting for Christmas?

I also convinced my sisters that the sleeves of the red coat would be too short for them.  Marianne said, "Coat sleeves are always too short, that doesn't matter." (Tall sister problems.)

But I ended up with the coat.

Adam said listening to my mom and sisters and me is like a comedy routine.  He said you always talk over each other and circle back to something and you're having three conversations at once and then your dad joins in.

I always enjoy it.

Grateful Friday

 Janelle and I send each other relatable things on Instagram.  This was the other evening:

The end of the year is a wild ride.  Yesterday we were cleaning desks.  I have a document I project on the board.  It is a chart with the item on the left and what to do with it on the right.  (For example:  white basket:  stack on the table) Last year my class had their desks empty in about 15 minutes and everything was put in the correct place.

This year, I had a only a handful who got it done.

Then there were the kids who can't really read, so the handy chart wasn't that helpful.  Then there were the kids who didn't listen to a single thing I said.  Then there were the kids with ADHD.  (Literally about half of them.)

Um, you shouldn't be reading right now.  We are cleaning desks.

No, you actually aren't done.  See how there are still things in your desk?

Why are you wandering over here?  We are cleaning desks.

No, don't throw that away! (As they walk dreamily toward the garbage carrying things like my books.)

We got through it!

They have given me plenty to feel angsty about, but on this, the last day of school, I also feel grateful.

I feel grateful that I was the one they hugged exuberantly.  I feel grateful I was the one who supplied bandaids and sympathy and pep talks when they were hurt.  I feel grateful I got to be the one to hear about their happy things and their sad things.  I feel grateful for the ways they improved and for the ways they stretched me.  I've never worked so hard! I'm grateful for every love note they wrote me and every time they laughed at my dumb jokes.  I am grateful for every time they said, "Hey!  That's like you taught us!"

I'm grateful for my former students who came in to have me sign their yearbooks.  I would tell them it would cost a quarter and a few of them looked uncomfortable and I would say, "I'm kidding!"

I told one boy (and he was one of my favorites) it would cost a quarter.  He pulled a dollar bill out of his pocket and said, "Keep the change."

I told him I was kidding and he smiled the same crooked grin that delighted me every day a few years ago and he said, "I know."

I'm grateful for the mother who told me that when her younger son was sad, her older son who has been my student said, "Mrs. Davis always says mistakes are proof you are trying."

The year wasn't perfect.  We made mistakes.  They are still mostly below grade level.  Lining up still takes a Herculean effort on my part.  But we tried.

Oh, how we tried!

Dance festival

Adam and Mark both ended up coming to the dance festival!  It was great to have them.  My students were especially excited by Mark.  Mark wrote on my whiteboard that he is Mrs. Davis's favorite child and they all demanded to know if that was true.

I said, "He's in the top three for sure."

They said obvious things to him like, "You have curly hair!"

The dance festival was fun.  It's a culmination of a lot of work and also a celebration of letting students shine in different ways.  

Here's my class:

What I wish you could see were their enormous grins when they made the parachute balloon that much!  It took cooperation and them paying attention and it was HARD FOUGHT.  But we did it!

Here's a screen shot of the video Mark took of me drumming in our faculty dance.  I'm on the other side on a blue drum so you can't really see me, but I'm OK with that.  

It was my idea to put the "drums" in rainbow order.  Rainbows forever!

I took the top picture in the morning and Mark's picture was in the afternoon.  We had some clouds move in, but it was still hot.  I had an umbrella and several students huddled around me to get a little shade. (In fact, that umbrella in the picture is mine and some of my students are under it.)

Things are wrapping up!  Tomorrow we clean out desks.  May the odds be forever in our favor.

Camp Read-A-Lot

Yesterday was a camp day in 3rd grade.

(It wasn't actual camping.  I'm not crazy.)

Each classroom was a station and the classes rotated.  In my classroom, I read them The Berenstain Bear's Bear Scouts book.  I loved it when I was a kid and it absolutely still holds up.  It cracked them up.

One boy was very excited because he has that book, but one of the pages was missing.  So we were able to solve the mystery of the missing page for him.

We also did an art project and I gave them juice (which I 100% held over their heads--no juice until the floor is cleaned up).

Janelle gave them s'mores and they painted rocks.  Miriam had set up tents and they read inside them using flashlights.

It was a fun time.

We also had the practice for our dance festival outside with all the children.  Tomorrow is the real thing and I think Mark is going to come.  He got home yesterday from California where he visited QE and her parents.  I have coated on the sunscreen and I may take an umbrella.  Sitting in the hot sun for hours requires protection when you are as pale as me!

I talked to Marianne yesterday afternoon and I told her that I had an intention for the summer.  It is a weird intention but I knew Marianne would understand because in a lot of ways, we are the same person.  I said, "I'm going to not be productive.  Well, not super productive."

She said, "Will you be happy not being productive?"

"Probably not," I said.  "That's why I said not super productive."

She didn't seem convinced.

(This is what comes of having task oriented parents.)  

But I do want to be a little lazy.  I want to read.  I want to try new recipes.  I want to make my back and neck stronger.  I want to clean up all the files on my old computer.  I want to catch up on Snapfish books.  I want to set up a toy room for QE.  

I want to be productive, just not super productive.

Field Day

It was hot--for May, not hot for July--but the kids were pretty happy because there were a lot of water games.  My field day in elementary school was me coming in dead last in every race and this is much better.  They go around to stations and play fun games.  

It is exhausting though--for the kids and the teachers.  The aides run the stations mostly and some of them are timid and soft spoken and I have to muster my teacher voice.  A lot.

I took a bunch of pictures in preparation for our end of year class slideshow (it's always heavy on end of year pictures because I remember to take more pictures).  I was looking at the pictures and I can't get over the mountains.

What a beautiful place to live with Mt. Timpanogos looming over everything.

The end of field day is a kickball game between the teachers and the 6th graders.  I didn't play.  My students asked me why not.  I said, "I don't want to."

It's a great thing about being an adult.  You never have to play kickball if you don't want to.

The 6th graders are low key obnoxious all year, getting more obnoxious at the end of the year.  

The teachers trounced them.  I was sitting next to the speech teacher with third graders spread out around me on the grass.  She said, "Do you think the teachers should go a little easy on the students?"

I said, "Nah.  It will prepare them for junior high."

Maybe in September or October the teachers would have been more merciful.  By May, I think it is go time.  

Also, several of the teachers picked designated runners (the fastest 5th grade boys) which helped their cause.

So another field day is in the books!  The last week of school is as exhausting as it is fun.  1/5 finished!

Weekend

Saturday was a migraine day.  It was a worse one than I have had in awhile!  I haven't been sleeping all that well, for reasons beyond my understanding.  I think it caught up with me in a big way.

I woke up feeling awful, deciding to get ready for the day anyway and just power through it.  (narrator:  it wasn't going to happen)

I couldn't eat or drink much because I felt so nauseous.  I finally decided to try to sleep a little.  An hour later I woke up and decided what I really needed was to eat and drink.  I had all this stuff I wanted to do!  I didn't have time for this! (narrator:  it wasn't going to happen)

I ate about half a piece of bread and took a good drink of water.

Then I threw up.

Fine.

I went back to bed.  I slept for four more hours!

I finally dragged myself up.  I successfully ate another piece of bread and this time just sipped ice water and the world eventually started to right itself.

I watered the plants.  Slowly.  Gingerly.  Recovering from a migraine feels very tentative, like you don't want to let it come back.

I had the credit card from school and the intention to get a new shelf for my classroom from IKEA.  In the evening, Adam and I went.  It was a tiny fraction of my to do list for the day, but we got the shelf.  We went straight to the warehouse and didn't even swerve to look at all the pretty things.  I didn't have the energy.

Adam said if I didn't feel better on Sunday, he would teach my Sunday School lesson.  I said, "Don't tempt me."

I was sufficiently better to teach (and Adam had to do stake stuff during my lesson so my emotional support husband was not there!)

The lesson went OK.  I'm still SO stressed out when I teach.  After it was over, I just made a beeline for home where I could recover.  My friend Terri called me after I got home.  She said, "You left before I could hug you."

I said, "I was so stressed I had to leave."

Terri knows how I feel about being Sunday School teacher.  She said, "Well you didn't look nervous.  Your paper wasn't even shaking."

I said, "I wish it got easier."

She said, "It won't.  Because then you'd get complacent."

Is complacent so bad?

Mark has been in California this weekend with Braeden and Anna and the delightful QE.  We did a FaceTime call with them and watched her zoom around the room which makes us happy.

Sunday afternoon Emma and Clarissa helped me with my songs.  I couldn't have done it without them.  They are two talented girls!  Adam and I watched the Young Adult broadcast with them.  We're young at heart....

It's the last week of school!  It's going to be a fun and sunshine-y week (field day!  dance festival!).  May we survive and thrive!

Grateful Friday

Sometimes being at school just delights me.

We are focusing on multiplication fluency now that testing is done.  I had a student at my desk, trying to pass off her 4s.  I would ask her a fact and if she didn't know it right away, she would say, "Hold the phone!" and put her hand up while she thought about it.  A tiny person yelling "hold the phone!" is way more entertaining than you would think.

We also tried out a new game Miriam told me about.  You go fishing and you have to answer multiplication or division questions to get bait.  I set it up and they were each playing on their computers with my computer cast on the screen showing the overall game.  It had me as a player of the game too.  That thrilled them and they wanted me to play too (pleasant and present).  I didn't know how to play, because I've never been any good at video games.  These kids know how to use video games like they know how to use a refrigerator.  One of my girls said, "Follow me, Teacher!  I'll show you how to do it!"

I loved that too.

I encountered a small group of second graders in the hall during my lunch.  One was the little brother of a student I had a few years ago.  Every time I see him, he says, "I know you!  You were my brother's teacher!"  

Every time I acknowledge the truth of that statement.  He said, "I hope I'm in your class next year."

I said, "Me too!"

A girl with him said, "Wait, your third grade?"  

I said, "Yes."

She said, "Will you be here next year?"

I said, "Yes."

She said, "OK then, I'm in your class."

The third girl was not so easily swayed (although none of them get a choice in the matter).

She said, "Are you nice?"

Sometimes more than others, but I said yes.  She threw her arms around my waist and said, "Then I'm in your class too."

I said, "All the third grade teachers are nice."  They all looked at me with high suspicion.

I walked away from them as they were planning excitedly to be in the same class and it made me look forward to August with its freshly sharpened pencils, bright new folders and pristine name tags on desks that may or may not last the week.

I'm grateful for schoolchildren.

I'm also grateful for my friends.  The aides let us know that they are available to help with whatever we need.  I had a few copy making and organizing jobs for them.  I also sent a plea to have them come and help us practice our song.  During our prep, 5 aides came to my classroom and listened to the wonky lyrics I wrote for Janelle and they are willing to sing with us.  Some of them had mouths set in sort of grim determination, but I was very grateful for their help just the same.

Also I am going to have Emma and Clarissa help me with it this Sunday.  They are the two best singers I know so I am going to utilize that resource!

Pleasant and present

Awhile ago on a podcast, I heard the encouragement to be "pleasant and present."  I like it both because it rhymes and because it feels wise.  I decided that I should try it at school yesterday.  I mean, I'm present physically.  Sometimes though, they are involved in some activity and I snatch a few minutes to do some grading or look ahead.  It almost always descends into chaos or shenanigans when that happens.  I think I am much better off just being pleasant and present and doing my grading and planning later.

I was also (pleasant and present) at the school until 5:30 yesterday....

In addition to all the other things, I spent time on the dance rehearsal for our faculty dance for the dance festival (my drum part) and practicing the song Miriam and I are singing for our tribute to Janelle.  (I rewrote the words to some Newsies songs.)

It's a bizarro time of year.  A guy was walking his dog past the school yesterday and all the teachers were on the field either dancing or drumming and I'm pretty sure he wondered what was actually happening.

But hey, I'm pleasant and present.

Doldrums

I was going to move classrooms.  I was moving to Janelle's room, which is bigger and quieter (real walls!).  Now I'm not.  The principal asked me to stay put because the kindergarten rooms are shifting.

Now I'm spinning my wheels.

I have all these things to do before the end of school.  (Grades! Organize!)

Oh yeah, and teach.  

And I'm just tired and a little deflated about the not moving (although it is decidedly less work to not move).

The schedule is disrupted and the kids are a little antsy with the nice weather and school almost out.  My throat hurts every day from trying to get everyone's attention during our dance rehearsals outside.

There are 8 more days.

I think we can make it.  Probably.  I'm 90% sure.  If I could get my desk cleaned that would be an amazing first step.

Celiac disease is...fun

Mark was super sick yesterday.  We thought through everything he had eaten, trying to figure out the trouble.  Adam and Mark made these delicious Mediterranean bowls on Sunday with quinoa, roasted and fresh vegetables, olives, hummus.  The quinoa packages said gluten free.

I googled about quinoa and here's what I found:

So that's helpful.   I don't know.

The moral of this story is that I really don't know.  And also I don't think we have a lot of quinoa in our future.

Weekend

Friday Adam and I went to the Lehi Arts Center to watch my friend Courtney perform in Bright Star.  It was so good!  I've seen the show before but it definitely hit differently now that I am a grandma!  Several other friends from school went too and it was fun to be there together supporting the amazingly talented Courtney.  

Saturday was a busy one.  Mark and I went to UVU to a new student open house situation.  He's going there in the fall.  He said I "could" come, but he didn't "need" me to come with him.

I read the email and saw that we needed tickets to the event.  I found where we were supposed to be going and I also located the person we needed to talk to about orientation sign up and getting connected with an adviser, so maybe he kind of did need me, but I kept quiet about it.

Also, I couldn't be too proud of myself because I got really lost in the student center.  I said, "Isn't this where we came in?"

Mark said, "This is the exact opposite of where we came in."

In my defense, we'd turned around a lot and it felt like someone was preparing me for pin the tail on the donkey.

I wanted to go to the institute building but it was closed.  If I was in charge of the world, institute buildings would be open on college campuses when the moms are there with the kids.  That is all.

Adam, who had been home working in the yard, joined us for lunch and then we went home to keep working.  Adam and Mark put the ceiling of the deck back together where it had come apart and Adam reattached one of the steps that had blown off.

Have I mentioned it was a hard winter?!?

Our yard is feeling it!

I busied myself getting the indoors all spiffy and I made important decisions like which serving dishes to use because I was having a party!

I threw a farewell party for Janelle and Kate because they are both leaving Bonneville.  I am not happy they are leaving, but I decided a party was more grown up than just whining, "Don't leave me!"

I think 8 women came to the party (and one toddler).  It was so fun!  I think it is the first time since I left Washington and my book club and writing group that I have been that comfortable having a group of friends over.  We talked and laughed nonstop for hours.  I made a pesto cheeseball and had fruits and vegetables (and my mom's dill dip which is so good!).  Miriam brought pulled pork sliders (on homemade rolls--she is amazing!) and mini cheesecakes.  Jamie brought a charcuterie board that only Jamie could bring.  She always elevates everything to the next level.  We are at all different life stages and circumstances but have so much in common.  Something was said about my class and I said I was tired of people telling me that I have a hard class.  They asked in dismay, "Who said that?!?"

They get me.

Maren brought her 20 month old and he was delightful.  I pulled out a box of toys.  Because this is a grandparent house and we're ready.

Lauren said something about us being able to wear jeans to work next year and a few of us, including me, said, "What?!?"

She said, "Don't you people read your email?"

I clearly don't, but I appreciate people who do.

Jeans will be a game changer.  I basically wear colored jeans now, but being able to wear actual jeans will be welcome.

The evening was just another reminder of how much I love my job and the people I work with.  It's a wild ride sometimes but I am there alongside the best people.

Sunday was a nice day.  I am grateful to my mother (who I didn't call because I knew she had company--don't think I forgot!). I'm also grateful for Adam's mom and our grandmothers and all the women who have mothered me along the way.  One of our speakers in church yesterday talked about Miriam, Moses's sister, who watched over and protected him.  She said something about how we all have had Miriams in our lives.  It made me think of my sisters and teachers and friends and the women who may or may not know they are my mentors in life.  Motherhood is very sisterhood adjacent and I'm grateful to be part of it.

Mother's Day always makes me grateful to be a mother.  What an honor and a gift it is to be the one who got to mother Braeden, Emma and Mark.  They add sparkle to my life.  I'm also grateful for Adam.  He's my partner in every good way.

And now, ten more days of school!  Time is zipping!

Grateful Friday

If one more person tells me that I have such a hard class and they hope I have a good summer because I deserve one, I'm going to kick them in the shins.

I know I have a hard class.  Telling me that doesn't help.

(Helping might help...  Balancing the classes so I don't have 11 IEPs while the other third grades each have 3 IEPs would help.  Balancing the classes so 2/3 of my class isn't below or well below grade level might help.  If some of the parents didn't cause such havoc in their children's lives, that would help.)

I went home from school yesterday at the very end of my rope.  It was a super hard day, punctuated by state testing (which they aren't doing that well on in a surprise to exactly no one) and a girl going on the lam and a student freaking out all afternoon and the boys being extremely naughty.

Adam listened and said the right things.  (He didn't tell me I have a hard class.  He knows I know.)

I'm grateful for him and for Mark who gave me a big hug when I got home.  They remind me that there is more to my life than the dumpster fire that is my class this year.

A list

The literal worst:

We had a debrief with the district's head of security and a police officer about our lockdown/secure situation last week.  I had to fight tears a few times.  It's very emotional thinking about these little lives that I want to protect.  It's very emotional thinking about other teachers in other schools who didn't ask for this, but have laid down their lives to protect little ones.  I hate that we have to have these conversations.  I hate that we had to talk about whether or not you should open the classroom door if someone was knocking and you knew that all your students weren't inside your classroom, but it could potentially be the gunman.

It left me with a huge headache.

The wisdom of Solomon:

I had a student who lost his sunglasses while we were out doing our dance practice.  (Friend, just don't bring your sunglasses when you are 100% ill-equipped to hold onto ANYTHING.) He was upset because they were his brother's glasses.  I said, "Don't worry.  We'll find them."

After the rehearsal was over, I said, "I will give a treat to anyone who can find these missing sunglasses."

The entire group of third graders fanned out over the field.  Pretty quickly, one of the boys emerged with the glasses.  "You found them!" I said.  "Come to my room after school and I will give you a treat."

The boy who lost the glasses asked, "Where were they?"

The finder of the glasses stammered and said, "Well...in my pocket...I wanted to...try them on."

I gave the little thief a treat after school.  He had, after all, come clean.

Let's be honest:

My class had their last library day.  Later during my lunchtime, the librarian was in my classroom, giving me overdue book notices to send home.  She said, "You had a really hard class this year.  You must go home exhausted every day."  I told her yes.  Yes, I do.  She said, "I hope your husband doesn't expect much of you this summer and you can rest."

The bar has been pretty low for awhile now....

I have no words:

A student said, "When I blew my nose, my stomach started hurting.  And also, my snot was orange and pink."

The haves and the have nots

Whenever we have a dance festival at school it effectively separates the teachers into two categories.  Those that can and those that can't.

A fresh faced young teacher sent a video of herself dancing the faculty dance routine so we could "learn it." 

Ha.

I watched it and my overwhelming response was nope.

They have had practices after school for the dancers and they are talking about what costumes they are putting together and I'm just trying to survive each day.

Yesterday we had a drummer practice (for the non dancers).  We lined up in the gym with drum sticks and drums (which were actually those big exercise balls set in baskets).  We followed Tiffany (one of the dancers) who had a choreographed drum routine and we tried our best and laughed a lot.  We have to traverse between drums and go to the right and drum our neighbor's drum and then go to the left and drum that neighbor's drum.  She said, "Do you think we can spread out?"

Michelle, the bubbly and always optimistic school counselor flatly said, "No."

We all agreed. No. No. No.  We like the drums close!

Another teacher asked where we were in relation to the dancers.

Tiffany said, "Behind them."

OK.  We all exchanged looks of relief.

Maren was next to me and she was mumbling about costumes because what?!?

Then someone mentioned decorating our drumsticks.  Maybe streamers?  We all liked that idea.

Maybe we are not all so very different after all.

For when I am in a ratty mood

I came home from work basically mad at the world.  I don't know why.  It is a confluence of a million little frustrations that one at a time are not that big of deal at all.

The best way to turn my frown upside is to be grateful.  Rapid fire, here is a list.

I am healthy.

I have enough to eat.

I have a comfortable and safe place to sleep.

I have internet access.

I have clean water to drink.

I have hot water, just have to turn on a tap!

I have electricity and can light up a room with a switch.

I have a car that runs.

I have friends.

I have Adam.

I have children who I love.

I have QE.  That's enough for the whole list.

There is beautiful music to listen to.

I have a whole shelf of books.

I have a job I like.

I have Clarissa to walk with.

I can go to the chiropractor.

Trees are blossoming.

It is not snowing; it is warm.

I have parents and siblings and in-laws and nieces and nephews.

I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have temple covenants that seal me to the people I love most.

I have memories.

I have things to look forward to.

I have Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime so I have stuff to watch.

I have lots of plants that make me happy.

I have a washer and dryer and dishwasher.

I have a cell phone and a computer.

I can hear music and birds.

I can taste and smell delicious things.

I can see colors and trees and flowers and sunsets and mountains.

I really have a pretty amazing life.  I shouldn't come home from work mad at the world, or even a little cranky.

Weekend

After work on Friday, Adam and I headed to Nevada.  We listened to a podcast and talked and listened to part of the Newsies soundtrack.  

He's just my favorite person to be with and that is all.

We got to Pleasant Hill around 8:00 local time and started sweeping and making the bed and moving furniture (my dad and Robert had delivered some furniture that we got from my grandma).  It's a process to get set up and getting more seamless all the time but takes effort all the same.  I said, "Just think, Adam, if we were home, we would just be relaxing on a Friday night!"  (Sometimes I wonder why we do what we do.) We got everything squared away finally and whenever I'm there, I remember how very much I love it and never want to leave.

Our house in Utah is on a quiet cul-de-sac, but this is next level quiet.  Besides the birds, there is silence.  Everything is getting green and it is beautiful out every window.  I also love how restful it feels in our not quite empty anymore, but sparse, house.  Stuff lying around is stressful and an absence of stuff lying around feels wonderful.

These are lessons I need to take with me when I leave, but I always seem to be surrounded by stuff!

My mom is in a get rid of stuff mode after dealing with my grandma's estate.  She had Marianne and Olivia and me come over Saturday morning.  Adam and my dad went back over to our house to see about the wiring on our water heater (it is literally always something breaking down around there!).  When they got back, my dad wanted a report.  He wanted to know how much stuff we'd taken (he is also in get rid of stuff mode).  Adam took a chair back that we'd borrowed and my dad wouldn't let him unload it.  "No returns!" he said.

I got some good stuff from my mom.  Among other things, I got a few tablecloths and shirts I can wear to work and some red Christmas sweaters, which are my love language.

I also got a little quilt we used for our dolls and I'm going to put it in the little toy room I dream of creating for QE.

Adam said, "I thought you wanted less stuff...."

So I showed him the red sweaters and said, "Shhhhhh."

I may admire the minimalist life, but I'm not there.

Adam and I went back to our house and did some yard work.  I used the hedge trimmer and cut part of the behemoth juniper in the front, but hardly made a dent.  Next time we come, I want to borrow a chainsaw and get rid of it completely.  It is so overgrown that trimming it only reveals the dead zone underneath and it is way too big.

I cleaned off the front porch and weeded some flower beds and trimmed some more branches around.  There was a big pot with a pretty ground cover plant in it sunk into the ground next to the ditch brook. Adam helped me dig out the plant and I moved it over to a flower bed, then I tried to pull the pot out of the ground.  It was plastic and cracked and full waterlogged soil and then fairly big rocks.  I emptied it as much as I could and then tried to move it.  I couldn't get much leverage because the cracked pot just collapsed if I pushed one side.  I finally got it out and I hope that's the hardest thing I have to do in awhile.  The spot where the pot had been immediately filled with water and I had slipped through the soggy ground a few times and one foot was completely soaked and my jeans were covered in mud.

But hey, I moved the pot.

Adam mowed.

The fledgling grass barely needed mowing but Adam loves mowing like I love red Christmas sweaters.

Marianne and Robert came over and Marianne and I went on a walk to the horse pasture.  It was the most magical place of many where we played when we were little girls.  There are all these charming little stands of trees that create houses if you are a little girl with an imagination.  Marianne and Robert bought most of it at the same time we bought our place there.  Marianne and I traversed a barbed wire fence and then we had to cross a ditch.  Marianne looked at my legs which are 5 inches shorter than hers and said, "Do you think you can do it?"

I said no.

She found a narrower spot and crossed it in a graceful little leap.  I said, "I can't."

It was like we were those two little girls in the horse pasture again and she was my older sister, urging me on.  I've always been the I can't sister.

But I said, "Well, I already fell in the water once." So I took a little jump and made it.  Marianne was very proud of me.  

In shortest sister related news, I recently saw this photo on Family Search:

Grandma Dahl and her siblings:  Reid, Farnes, Bruce, Kay, Margaret (my grandma) and Ruth

If I am significantly shorter than my siblings but it means I'm like my grandma, I'll take it.

Marianne and I decided the horse pasture is every bit as magical as it used to be.

Back at our house, we sat with Adam and Robert and visited a little.  It's nice to have actual furniture to sit on for things like that.

My mom had invited us and Marianne and Robert to dinner (Olivia was busy and couldn't come).  I cut some tulips in our yard and took them over.  "Dear mother all flowers remind me of you."  Marianne and I went early to help my mom.  She had already pretty much done everything.  She's always been the I can mom and it is hard to get her to stop.

We had a nice dinner together.  I love being in the neighborhood.  

Yesterday we came home and today it's back to school.  Beach Day 2.0.  I'm wearing the same clothes as last week.

Grateful Friday

Teacher appreciation week is kind of like a weeklong Mother's Day.  It's very sweet.

There are the students whose mothers send things that are very kind.  I got scissors and plants and sticky notes and an Amazon gift card.

I also got notes from students and flowers they picked on their way to school.

One boy has worn the (increasingly dirty) same red shirt all week because red is my favorite color.

I was walking in the school yesterday and a girl ran out of the cafeteria where she was eating breakfast and said,  "Teacher!  Here!"  She handed me a droopy dandelion.  She said, "Hurry, it's falling."

I stuck the hodgepodge of plucked flowers in water.

My bulletin board border is slipping, but since I'm moving classrooms this summer, everything just needs to cool its heels until then.

Some of them come up to me and tell me that they wanted to bring something but their mom said they couldn't.  "It's fine!"  I say.  "Just be kind to me all day and that will be your Teacher Appreciation gift."

Time is slipping away with this group.  There were 576 days in January and May feels like there are only about 12.

I'm grateful to be their teacher.  It is hard and makes me crazy and oh. So. Tired. But I love it and I'm grateful it is my life.

Danger is exhausting

I have traffic duty, before and after school this week.  (It must be said, traffic duty in May is infinitely better than traffic duty in January.)  After school, the entire playground and front of the school is a swarm of students.  They are everywhere.  They mostly flow away from the school in about ten minutes, with a few stragglers.

At 2:30, the teachers were assembled in the library for our regular short Wednesday afternoon faculty meeting.  We were chatting and comparing notes from the day when there was a lockdown announced over the speakers.  We all looked at each other in confusion, but it all kind of dawned on us at the same time that it wasn't a drill because 1) we always know when there will be a drill and 2) it was after school anyway.  We all sprung into action.  Someone turned off the lights and people locked the doors and we all crammed between the shelves of the library.  Someone brought in two crying students.  One of them was a third grader (not one of mine) with her kindergarten brother.  The kindergartner's teacher took control of them.  She sat on the floor with her student circled in her arms while she was texting her mom.  Her mom is a sub at the school and the teacher's two children were with their grandma.  She confirmed they were safe and went back to comforting her student.

It was very dark and I don't know who it was but someone brought another student.  He was sobbing.  I asked, "Who is it?"  The adult told me and it was another third grader (not one of mine).  I gathered him in my arms.  I held him tight as he shook and cried.  He kept whispering in terror, "I want my mom!  I want my mom!"

"You're safe," I said.  "We'll protect you."  

But I didn't know.

We didn't know why there was a lockdown.  There had been a police presence at the school all week after school because of problems with adults (pretty much all the student problems are actually adults' problems).  Was there someone in the school?  The library doors were locked but they are glass and in Nashville the shooter just shot through the glass.  Like you see on a National Geographic show when the young are threatened, we surrounded those three little ones with layers of adults.  A teacher who is pregnant was nudged into the center of the group too and when I thought about it later, I realized that must just have been instinctual for us.  I know we've probably all considered how we would shield children in a shooting, I know I have, but we protected a pregnant teacher too.

Humans are pretty awesome.

Except for, you know, shooters.

An administrator got a text that it was not a threat in the building, but in the neighborhood so we breathed a little easier.

Ten long minutes later, we got the all clear.  Someone turned on the lights and we all told the children they had been so brave.  The librarian got them each a piece of chocolate. 

Kristie had been locked in her office with more children and she came to tell us what had happened. 

She had received the call from police and had sent a teacher and a secretary and a custodian who happened to be nearby to gather children and she went herself and got everyone inside that was still outside.  She is about my age and she said, "Well, I found out I can still run!"

Those heroes who ran outside to get kids were actually putting themselves in danger, but they didn't hesitate.

None of us hired on for this, but I'm so proud to be one of them.  I work with such good people.

We kind of decompressed a little and after the meeting I went into Kristie's office and we talked mother to mother/grandmother to grandmother about what we could do to be more prepared next time.  I don't know why I inserted myself into that conversation, but I just thought how horrible it could have been if it all had happened ten minutes earlier and we'd had the playground full of students.

I didn't really have the gumption for much else so I went back to my classroom and planned what my students will make their mothers for Mother's Day.

Euphoria and not

Yesterday we got results of two Big Deal tests.  

Most of my students did SO well.  I was thrilled.  They learned!  They worked hard!  I'm not just wasting my time!  It is working!

A few of them did not do so well.  That is discouraging.  I don't know if it is more discouraging for the ones who tried their best and that is all or for the ones who didn't try their best and won't try their best no matter what kind of dog and pony show I can provide.

Sigh.

Next week is more state testing and it will be stressful and not fun.

After all the state testing we have looser structure (rehearsal for the dance festival!) and that is its own kind of tricky because sometimes structure is exactly what we need.

The weather is warm and they come in sweaty from recess.  They bring me flowers they picked.  They lose their jackets because they abandon them somewhere along the day and can't remember when.  They demand to know why I'm not going to be a 4th grade teacher as if I am mistreating them by staying in 3rd grade.

It's all part of May.

I love being warm when I have recess duty.

I love seeing their progress.

I have one more chapter of the read aloud book and I'm looking forward to starting another one because they are getting better at listening!

Life is good (and sometimes not).

Joke's on me

I get a lot of email.  No really.  A lot.  I get all the ones from every company I ever considered buying something from in my entire life.  I unsubscribe.  They find their way back.  I have all the ones that are to other Thelmas in the world.  You would be surprised how many that is.  I have aaaaaalllll the work emails.  There are the ones from enthusiastic people trying to get me to buy their substitute plans (no prep!) and the ones from the district.  There are ones from the teachers union and the ones from the PTA.  There are ones from other teachers--Anyone have sidewalk chalk?  Anyone have a scale I can use?  Magnifying glass?  There are the ones from the administration and the HOPE squad and the student council.  

It's a lot.

And I am a skimmer.

I quickly click my way through email, seeing what I need to see and ignoring the rest.  This is not a perfect system, because I miss stuff.  A lot.

Still.

My email inbox deadens my soul.

Last week there were signs posted in the hall for Monday:  beach day.

I borrowed a Hawaiian shirt from Emma.  I wore linen cropped pants.  I wore sandals.

A student told me I looked "ready for the beach."  I said, "Well, it's beach day."

Another student said incredulously: We're going to the beach?!?

I said no.

They wondered what tomorrow was.  I said, "Career Day." (Again, there was a sign in the hall to that effect.)

The same student who wondered if it was beach day (and for the record, he is not the sharpest knife in the drawer) asked: Tomorrow is the last day of school?!?

I said no.

Another student said: You should dress as a zookeeper and we will be your animals.

It is exactly exchanges like this that leave me with no energy to read my inbox carefully.

It is Teacher Appreciation Week and the PTA takes over our classes for 30 minutes to give us an extended full hour of lunch.  Janelle and Miriam and I went to Kneaders and had a lovely lunch.  While we were walking out the door, I mentioned something about Beach Day.  Janelle said, "Isn't that next week?  I think I read an email that it was next week."

?!?

We were walking by the office and I saw Kristie, our principal.  She said, "Oh, it's next week.  I don't know why they put up the signs a week early."

(Maybe to sort out the people who read their email carefully from the people who don't.)

Then Kristie added, "But you look adorable!"

So there's that.

Weekend

We had glorious weather during the weekend.  Nothing like a long winter to make you appreciate spring!

My Christmas cactus is having an existential crisis for reasons I don't understand, but I don't mind.

Friday night was a take it easy kind of night.  Both Miriam and Janelle were home sick on Friday (and that was a bit of a wild ride--I may or may not have stepped into a classroom and used my teacher voice when they were misbehaving for the sub).  

I had a sore throat (too much teacher voice?) and I did NOT want to get sick.  I canceled walking with Clarissa and had chicken noodle soup for dinner and just rested.

And it worked!

I slept over nine hours and was a new person on Saturday morning.  

Marianne gave me two prisms for my birthday.  I put one in the kitchen window at Pleasant Hill and one in my office.  It makes me happy every morning. (But I'm only here to enjoy it on Saturday and Sunday.)

I sorted through some of the stuff I got from my grandma.  I set up the clock I inherited.

It originally belonged to Tom and Mary, my great-great uncle and aunt.  Tom was my great-grandma Wood's brother.  Tom and Mary never had any children and my grandma loved to stay at their house when she was growing up.

She inherited the clock from them and it was in her living room.  Sleeping at my grandma's house, I could hear the clock at night and I loved it.

When I was in college, my grandma asked me what I wanted to inherit from her.  I was shocked by the question and said, "Nothing! I don't want to think about that."  

She kept asking me every time I visited.  I finally decided I wanted the clock.  I told her that I loved listening to it when I stayed with her.

She told me she had loved listening to it when she was a little girl and stayed with Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary.

Several years ago, the clock stopped working and she had it repaired so that it would be in tip top shape when I inherited it.  

It chimes every 15 minutes and I love it and think of my grandma every time.

I don't know how old it is but there are repair records inside of it from the 1930s.

Later in the morning, I tackled the front bed outside that was decimated by deer this winter.  There have been a few nibbles on the laurel leaves every winter and the deer definitely pass through our yard, but this winter, with all the snow on the mountain, our yard seemed to be their winter home.  Some of the bushes are completely squashed and trampled and the laurel was eaten--as in zero leaves--as high up as the deer could reach.  

Last summer, on Amazon Prime day, I had purchased an electric hedge trimmer.  Trimming bushes is hands down my favorite garden job.  I was intimidated to use the electric trimmer, but Adam showed me how.  I got a ladder to stand on to cut off the top of the laurel (I would have trimmed it more, but it needed those top leaves since there was nothing lower).

Adam said, "Does that seem like a good idea? The first time you use a power tool, you stand on a ladder?"

But I was no longer intimidated.

I did have to have Mark do the last bit because I couldn't reach across the bush.

So if you come over and our bushes are trimmed down to nothing, you can blame me.  That hedge trimmer is fun to use!

It was Spring Clean Up day in Pleasant Grove so Mark and Jack (across the street) took a load of stuff from both yards in Jack's truck.  We still had a bunch of limbs that had broken off our trees from snow.  We're getting all tidy around here and trying to recover our poor yard from the winter.

To top off a good day, I had one of my favorite all time dinners.  I had cucumbers and red peppers dipped in hummus, cheese and crackers (Cotswold cheese!) and blueberries.  Just give me fruit and cheese and vegetables and bread or crackers.  I could live on charcuterie boards alone!

Sunday after church we had Emma and Clarissa over for dinner.  We had burgers on the deck and it felt like summer.  After dinner we FaceTimed with Braeden and Anna and QE.  She got very excited when Adam was on the screen.  She is Grandpa's girl!  Clarissa took a picture of us and said we are cute grandparents.

I don't feel or look all that cute, but I appreciate her all the same.