Heavy

I heard some shocking and heartbreaking news yesterday.  I learned about the unexpected death of Pam's husband, Shane, who is one of the nicest guys I know.  We were just together Monday night.  

I spent yesterday in a bit of a fog, trying to process the news.

I had spent 12 hours at the school on Tuesday collaborating and then working in my classroom.

Jamie said, "You're changing your books again?!?"

Yes.

I know.

I emptied 6 bookcases.  I sent two of them home with Mark (after he had disassembled one of them).  Adam and I built another bookcase.  We moved five bookcases into new places.  

I spent the day there yesterday too and made pretty good progress, but felt the heaviness of grief all day.  

After work, Adam and I went to Pam's.  We had no helpful words, just shared tears and hugs.  When we got home, we talked about our utter inadequacy in the face of such sorrow.  We talked about wishing we better understood how we can help.  I told Adam that I have two hands and on one hand, I definitely know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us.  On the other hand, I wonder why some people have to face such hard times.

Almost immediately I thought of the Savior.  I thought of what He faced on our behalf.  I remembered that even though I don't know how Pam feels, really, He does.  My prayer is that she will feel comforted and loved.  That everyone who is hurting will feel comforted and loved.