Not my email

Sometimes I just want to sit all these people down and insist they face facts:

This is my email address and it doesn't matter how many times you try to change the password, Apple will send me the email about how to change the password.  Because it's my email address.  I can't reiterate this enough.

I'm pretty sure you have an email address.  I don't know what it is (neither do you).  If I knew, I would forward you these gems.

I don't know who Javaz Dudley is, but message received, buddy.  I will never allow someone to be my priority while letting myself be their option.

Then there is Caz.

Is Caz a collective or is it one of these people?  Or is it the guy in the picture they're holding?  Or is Caz the fuzzy white hat? Also "on the pub" and "at the rugby?"  I don't know.  They seem happy enough.  I'm glad they're having a good time and that they shared it with me.

Here's more improper grammar + not intended for me + what are you even trying to say here?

Thelma will never know that the sender can "make 5th or 7th of April."  But does she deserve to know?  I mean, she doesn't know her email address.

Then, I've received the inevitable emails that have made me nervous:

Thelma started her life insurance application.  She has been given a password.  She didn't get this email (because I did).  How will she be able to continue the process?  Is she doomed to a life sans life insurance because I have unwittingly received her password?  Thelmas of the world?  Please learn your email addresses.

Thank you.