Changey Change Change

I'm still figuring out my new life without this little cherub around:

What?  That's my boy Braeden...OK, it was thirteen years ago.

Mark and I are forging a new way.  I've realized I have less of an impatient clip to my voice since I'm not busier than I can handle.

I kind of like it.

Today Mark said, "You're being really nice to me today."  Of course, that was shortly after I'd bought him a toy and right before I bought him a mint oreo milkshake.

(If you can resist this boy, you're a better woman than I...)

For the first time in years, I no longer have a free built in babysitter so Mark was my amiable side-kick on errands today.  And we went on errands that were more creative in nature than necessary.  When's the last time that happened?

I told him we had to go to only two places and then I'd take him to lunch.  He was starving.  He's always starving though.

We went to Lowe's to look at paint chips for an idea that's percolating in my brain.  We also stopped to look at ride on lawn mowers because Mark can't resist their siren song.  Mark pulled out paint chips one after another.  How about this?  This?  This?  He found a faux finish paint chip.

"This looks like sand paper."

"Is it sand paper Mom?"

"This looks like sand paper."

I was looking at Sea Breeze and Forest 4 and said something like, "Mmmm."

Mark has always been good at demanding attention.  "Mom," he grabbed my arm, "Could I use this like sand paper?  Would it work?"

He had my attention.  I explained the idea of faux finishes and he nodded his comprehension and I replaced all the paint chips he'd pulled out and handed to me.

We got back on the road and he said, "Where now?"

I said, "Library and then Pier 1."

"What?!" Amiable Mark was turning into incredulous Mark.  "You said two places and then lunch."

"I forgot about the library.  I just have to drop these books off.  You don't even have to get out of the van."

Amiable Mark returned.  "That's just like sitting in traffic then," he said happily.

Whatever gets you through, Mark.  Whatever gets you through.

Walking across the street to Pier 1, I set Mark up.  "Now this is a Mom kind of store.  You won't like it but if you're very good, we'll have lunch.  And you have to be very careful.  There are breakable things.  Will you be a good boy?"

"Are there candles there?"

"Yes."

"Cool."

Mark loves good smells and he's absolutely horrified by bad smells.  He must have a sensitive sniffer.

He happily walked into Pier 1 with me and while I browsed around for a birthday gift for Marianne (It's coming right up...in May.  I like to plan ahead, OK?), Mark lifted candles and inhaled the scents.  "Mmmmm," he'd say, "I like this."

About 1/4 of the way through the store, he was done though.  Let's go.  Let's go.  Are you done? faded away when he found the little toy display.

Then I bought him one of these:

It bought me some more time and distracted Mark from picking up dishes and wine glasses to show me.

We had lunch and went grocery shopping.  Mark was pleasant and chatty and convinced me to let him push the cart.  He said as long as he was pushing, I could drink his milkshake. How could I refuse?

So, our new life.

It's different.

It's nice.

I am lonely for my older two children.  I miss them.  I feel a little bewildered still.  But I know this:

Change always comes bearing gifts.

Price Pritchett