As the only one home during the day now, Mark is the happy recipient of the bulk of my fabulous mothering skills.
Lucky kid.
Because I have skills.
I think I should probably write parenting books.
I'm that good.
Mark wouldn't eat lunch the other day. He didn't want what we were having. We bargained. We negotiated. We haggled. Then I put dessert on the line.
Cookies. (We have some in the freezer, packaged two by two, to be tossed into lunch bags at 6:15 in the morning.)
He saw my cookies and raised me to ice cream too.
Really?
Yes, or he was walking.
I finally caved and said OK.
He made me swear on the River Styx. (My kids are weird.)
Then he said, "I've already sworn on the River Styx so I won't break the bargain but how big are these cookies anyway?"
I told him and he ate his lunch.
In the afternoon, I felt a powerful urge for brownies so I did what any wise woman would do and I made some.
Of course Mark had one.
He ate half his dinner and said he couldn't finish it because he needed to save room for brownies which Braeden and Emma were inhaling at the time. (In other words, he didn't like his soup.)
I told him no brownies unless his soup was gone. GONE.
He said, "Then I won't have room for a brownie. I'll be too full."
I said, "Soup. Gone."
He said, "Fine," and left the table.
When Adam talked to Mark about this stalemate he said, "It's OK. I already had two cookies, ice cream and a brownie today."
Adam didn't say anything. (He might have possibly raised his eyebrows.)
The next morning Mark wanted chips for breakfast. (We have some chips in individual packages to be tossed into lunch bags at 6:15 in the morning.) I told him no. Absolutely not.
Mark said he wouldn't eat then.
I told him no Wii then. Mark had some cereal.
I told Adam I was tired of arguing with Mark about food.
Adam reminded me of the previous day and diplomatically pointed out I might perhaps be part of the problem.
I decided to take a half glass full approach. I pointed out Mark will be an asset at the Honda dealership if we ever have the time to finally go and buy our van.
He can do the bargaining for us.
I'll give him all the brownies he can eat if he gets us a good deal. (Possibly even chips for breakfast.)
Who do I remind me of? Oh, I know! My sisters that don't eat sugar!
2 comments:
Confession of a closet chocoholic: I'm not as religious as you might think about the sugar thing.
Ahh... this post made me so relieved. I'm glad I'm not the only one who negotiates that way. This morning I had (just a little) chocolate pudding cake for breakfast. I couldn't very well tell Savannah she couldn't have any. I went with being fair instead of being healthy. I figure that's a good moral to teach as well. You are a great mother.
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