Disparity

We have some things in common. We have the same address, the same birthday and we like watching The Office and British television and movies.

Then there are the differences. Adam reads footnotes and I skim almost everything I read. His hands are always warm (except when he's very nervous) and my hands are always cold (except for in the heart of summer). He likes Chinese food (all kinds of Chinese food) and I like dessert (all kinds of dessert).

Then there's the big difference. The blaring difference. The difference that causes distress.

I'm a planner. Adam is not.

He may or may not go to London next week and he's OK with that. My sisters are coming to visit with their families in September and I have already mapped out a general schedule of our activities.

I feel nervous if I don't have my Christmas list done by October and Adam feels nervous if he doesn't have his Christmas list done by Christmas Eve.

When we went to London, I poured over websites and guide books. Rick Steves guided me to spots like Westminster Abbey for evensong and the place in Kings Cross Station where they have Platform 9 3/4 for photo ops. I plan like that. In London Adam has happened upon things like the BBC Proms and the Good Friday broadcast at St. Paul's cathedral. He's spontaneous like that.

I have benefited more than once from Adam and his impromptu taste for adventure. I would like to think maybe Adam feels like he's benefited from my planning. Maybe?

Because I think most of the time we just aggravate each other.

There are times when we are driving to a hotel and Adam doesn't know where it is. He doesn't think he needs a map or directions, he just figures he'll find it. I can't tell you how shocking this is for me. I keep saying over and over, "You don't know where the hotel is?!" and he says, "We'll find it...I have a general idea." And we eventually do find it.

And I eventually recover from the indignation.

There have been times that I drive Adam crazy with my planning. Like last night. We are going to Disneyland and I have joyfully researched the trip. I have read restaurant reviews, tips and tricks, I have plotted out our days. Last night I told Adam that I had some new information to tell him about our trip. I could tell he was annoyed. Again with the Disneyland talk. So that made me a bit cranky.

He said, "I was not annoyed."

I said, "Yes you were annoyed." (It's not like I don't know the man.)

Mark said, "I'm out of here," and left the room.

I don't think there's a good solution. I think we'll continue to exasperate each other into the eternities.

Unlike Mark though, I'm not out of here. Whether or not Adam and I are at odds, I really like him.