Kindness

I'm sure you've heard the saying kindness begins with me. I've been thinking about it. I think the ticket is being kind to yourself.

Yesterday I was putting some laundry away. Adam was sitting at his desk in our room. I said, "You know, I've had a pretty good day."

Adam spun around and looked at me. "Thank you for telling me," he said. (Thus driving home the point that way too often I have the opposite to report.)

Which is pathetic because I have a pretty good life and should have a lot of pretty good days.

I am a person with few talents but one of them is coming up with schedules. I delight in the whole practice. I love to organize and plan. And I am a dismal failure at carrying all of them out.

My latest greatest plan that I started this week (because I start a new plan about every week...that's how long it takes me to feel guilty that my plan isn't working, accept my plan isn't working then come up with a new plan...the steps of grieving for my plans) was to sleep in.

You read that right. My plan was to sleep in.

There are plenty of ways that home schooling my children makes my life harder. Getting up early is not one of them.

The bus rumbles by our house at approximately the same time every day. Some days my children are all still asleep when the bus passes. Sometimes they're giggling over their cereal, sometimes they're banging on the piano, sometimes they're in the shower.

I decided to revel in this you-don't-have-to-get-up-at-a-certain-time existence (because the magic's over when Braeden starts seminary).

Ironically, I've still been getting up at about the same time. We're even starting school earlier this week than last week when I was feeling guilty about not getting up on time.

And I'm being kind to myself.

My psyche responds well to kindness.

I've had my second good day. I made my kids walk home from their piano lessons. I dropped them off and told them to walk home when they were done. Braeden was offended. He said, "That will take a long time and I have WORK to do so I can go PLAY." I pretended to be sympathetic for 2 seconds then I said, "So? Walk home." This gave me time to get my work done in an uninterrupted and productive fashion.

There's more light in the world with the earth tilting towards summer and that's making me happier too.

Zipping through all my menial daily chores, I was able to tackle a job that's been waiting (patiently) for me to have the time. I cleaned out a drawer in my bathroom and found some bath salts Adam had brought me from London.

Then I did an art project. Like schedules, I love hatching art projects. I scheme awhile then start on the project. Then I feel something like regret that I wasn't more careful with my project because it turns out wonky.

I think there are two types of people in the world, those that should be allowed near mod-podge and those that should not. I think I belong in the latter group.

I hung it on my wall anyway.

And the mod-podge will eventually wear itself off my kitchen table right?

I'm being kind to myself.

So then I went and took a bath with my newly found bath salts (plus I needed to get the mod-podge off of me...I'm telling you that is powerful stuff). My kids were outside in the cloud filtered sunlight. My house was silent.

And I took my book with me to the tub.

And I recommend you be kind to yourself too.